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Perhaps you need one of those disclaimers:

Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional and purely coincidental.

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Yeah, my bad. Next time I will use this:

This story is meant for entertainment purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. Batteries not included. Contents may settle during shipment. Use only as directed. No other warranty expressed or implied. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Subject to approval. Apply only to affected area. May be too intense for some viewers. For recreational use only. All models over 18 years of age. If condition persists, consult your physician. No user-serviceable parts inside. Best if eaten before date on carton. Subject to change without notice. Times approximate. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement. For off-road use only. As seen on TV. One size fits all. Slippery when wet. For office use only. Not affiliated with the American Red Cross. Edited for television. Keep cool; process promptly. Post office will not deliver without postage. List was current at time of printing. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform. At participating locations only. Do not write below this line. Lost ticket pays maximum rate. Your cancelled check is your receipt. Sanitized for your protection. Employees and their families are not eligible. Limited time offer, call now to insure prompt delivery. You must be present to win. No passes accepted for this engagement. No purchase necessary. Use only in well-ventilated area. Keep away from fire or flame. Price does not include taxes. Not recommended for children. Reproduction strictly prohibited. No solicitors. No alcohol, dogs, or horses. No anchovies unless otherwise specified. Restaurant package, not for resale. Driver does not carry cash. Record additional transactions on back of previous stub. This supersedes all previous notices.

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