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Karan Hanid
Amarr
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Posted - 2007.06.11 17:56:00 -
[1]
This was started by ZigZeon in our alliance chat about a week ago and we all had a few hours of fun thinking up statements that begin with "You know you play EVE too much when...", so I'll post what we got and I hope people can add something funny of their own.
This is just to have a good laugh, not intented as anything constructive.
You know you play EVE too much when...
You get on the freeway and say, "Warp drive..active.
You look for mins at Costcutter.
You look at the periodic chart and see "tritanium" instead of "titanium".
You get mad at someone and say, "You are so podded".
You are out of state and look in the phone book for your local clone jump services.
Someone dies in a movie you say, "Hope he had his clone up to date".
You goto the local military complex and ask if they have any gisti A type...
You call a police officer a CONCORD officer.
You tell your geology professor you know what Dark Ochre is.
You start calulating for fast your car goes in m/s.
You know you play too much EVE when you are having this conversation...
You really dont want to go get a coffee and you think - Gonna log my alt in.
Your dog is doing laps around the swimming pool while you are in it and you try to calculate it's transversal velocity.
You go on the eve-online site and buy the eve online socks.
You buy a mothership for 3000$...or a titan for 20000$...
You ask the clerk at Wallmart if they have any tech II microwaves.
Your girl ask for you to show her a good time and you take her to the pleasure hub.
You make a political party or a pressure group against the enslavement of minmatar.
You call Amercans - Gallente, Africans - Minmatar, Russians/Muslim - Amarr and China - Caldari.
wrighting a business proposal it includes :we will claim sovereignity of the parking lot , you start useing eve short hand : u gtg omfgigp
You ply 2much eve when you refer to you man hood as a apoc.
You tell the bank teller you want to borrow some isk.
You know you play too much EVE when you attempt to log when being chased by police/thugs.
You know you play eve too much when you kill a goons fleet member in RL.
You smash his car with a baseball bat and then tell the police - wtf! i didnt even pod him.
You post something on your bulletin board at work and add a PS, this is not an alt!
You think the USA as 1.0 and Mexico as 0.0
You are stuck for 10min to give an answer in school and then say - Bloody lag...
You get a job just to spy on them.
You think all females are in fact men.
You put red squars with white lines on peoples faces that you hate in your school year book.
You call the lunch break the downtime.
Your teacher askes you to draw a raven you draw a ship with a half a wing on the right and three wings on the left.
You blame CCP for everything in real life.
Watching hockey, you yell for the russians to log off.
You start reffering to every swedish players as "ebil sir molle".
You drive around in a gang area and pretend your cloaked.
You call all children noobs.
The last thing you say to a man dying on your hands - Can I have your stuff?
You see Rats running around near your appartment you tell your roommate you swear it had to be a 1.85M bounty.
You look for a small blue plus or a small red minus when meeting a new person.
You get before the judge and blame it on lag or you got stuck at a gate, or they busted your cloak...
You join microsoft corp and go to war with apple.
You attempt to make a few thousand kg truck to go 8000 m/s and call it a nano-phoon.
You watch the series Band of Brothers and think its a documentry on BoB alliance.
You think about updating your clone on your birthday.
You start Role Playing in it.
You put "faction loot" on your xmas list.
You suicide gank a "farmer" in the field.
You watch star wars and watch the death star blow up and wished it had insurance.
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Karan Hanid
Amarr
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Posted - 2007.06.11 17:56:00 -
[2]
You play eve to much.
You play CCG during downtime. over ts...
You ask your girlfriend to fly a certain ship cause you think she looks sexy in it.
You call your pregnant wife a mothership.
You turn to ur girl and say point.
You order a social adaptation chip at a bar.
You rugby tackle someone and say - point.
You call the 2000 election an exploit.
You start to brag about how big your ship is to a wow player.
You blame CCP for the 2000 election. because bob has all the florida voters on MSN.
You carry around a tinfoil hat.
You lose a ship and you turn emo. and cry. and maybe cut yourself.
You attempt to "trade" yourself for another "char" to see how it is playing another race.
You watch TV and shout - FFS! Nerf America! or boost Iraq.
You think the year is 23108.
You turn the whole eve community into two and calling yourself the coalition and going on a anti bob crusade to ride the universe of cheaters.... hmmmmm.
You start to make your own story line (the coalition vs the allies *cough*).
Your cats names are praetor, ogre, beserker, and wasp.
You go to school and tell your teach it will tkae 31 days to train math to level 5.
You know u have a sub teacher coming to class and u call all ur friends to the door for a gate camp.
You pretend to camp a intercetion waiting for reds to come around.
You start to consider cornering the market on dairy products.
You dont notice someone and say you have an overview bug.
You go to eve fest or eve con.
You give your child 1 trit and a damage control and say - now it's up to you to explore the world little one...
You hear someone say.... YOU POS... you think of a player owned starbase.
You know you need to get laid when your thinking about eve when not playing it... (doesnt go with the starter text, but it's funny)
You buy yourself a new gun at wallmart and ask if they have any phased plasma ammo.
You know you need to get laid when you have dream sex with your ships.
You go to work and SIgh about it...
You try to bookmark the location of your keys.
You call the cruise control on your car 'autopilot'.
You see a pretty girl irl and try to cloak.
You sit on the character search screen for hours on end searching for pilots called Pat Morita and Leonard Nimoy and actually getting successful search results.
Your waiting inline you think *wish i can smartbomb these guys*...
You You make a life-size pod out of snow.
You can no longer spell...
You dress up as your ship for holloween.
You daughter calls a kid a 'filthy amarr noob' when she's at school...
Your girlfriend think your cheating on her with another girl named Eve...
You think a mill is pocket change.
Your corp designs corporation t-shirts.
You start braging about how bad ass you are to people who dont even play it.
You havnt gotten ***** in 4 months...
Your girlfriend wants to have sex but you tell her to hold on im in a fleet battle.
You petittion the wife or girlfriend for sex.
The only time you have sex with your wife is during downtime.
You call the police about macro miners.
You're in your regular bar and somebody gets kicked out and you chuckle and mutter to yourself "Docking request denied, b*tch".
You kill yourself because someone blew up your hauler...
Your combat d*ck hits wife for etreme disapointment...
You hear hicks talking about farming you say "get any good rats" then get your ass kicked...
On your way to work you answer your neighbour's question "where are you off to?" with "Gonna go earn some isk."
You walk by two police officers and go - OMG! OFFICER SPAWN!!
You're stuck in the traffic heading to your office and mumbling "friggin Jita"...
You see an officer arrest a chav and say "concordokened!"
You call police officers or SWAT teams bloody anti-pirate gankers.
You call 911 to report roaming pirates.
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Karan Hanid
Amarr
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Posted - 2007.06.11 17:57:00 -
[3]
Edited by: Karan Hanid on 11/06/2007 17:57:19
The last thought before u fall asleep is - i'm logging...
You know you play eve too little when you log on to change a skill and then get on with life...
Your flight has been delayed for 30 mins, you reply to the waitress ' are we scrammed, FIT WCS NOOB .
You listen to EVE radio... while not playing EVE especially...
Your eys start to hurt from starting at your hanger all day and talking about you play eve too much joes...
You buy assorted color condoms because you want to mix damage types.
You know its too much eve when you train freighter 5 on your main account...
You log on in the morning to play 'for a bit' and when you look at your watch next it's 2am...
You have 5 accounts...
You start talking about sex while playing eve...
P.S.
Please do not be offended by any of this. A lot of it is actually us laughing about ourselves.
Please post if you can think of a funny continuation to the "You know you play EVE too much when..."
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Marquis Dean
Demise and Vestige
9th Fleet
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Posted - 2007.06.11 18:02:00 -
[4]
I found a bug infestation in my utility room at the back of my house once.
While hunting them down, spraying noxious bug killer everywhere, I thought: 'This reminds me of missions killing rogue drones'.
I sh*t you not, I spent 10 minutes looking for an acceleration gate in the cupboards, assuming I had to find a final, big bug to kill.
When I realised what I was doing, I tried to laugh but I was actually deeply, deeply freaked out. I enforced a 24 hour Eve ban on myself, and tried not to think about it.
---
 Originally by: Wild Rho
I'm having a hard time getting over the irony of spelling "dumb" wrong.
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ToxicFire
Phoenix Knights
Dark Nebula Galactic Empire
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Posted - 2007.06.11 18:36:00 -
[5]
You start making You know when you've played EVE too much when.... threads
Sig removed as it lacks EVE-related content. Mail [email protected] if you have questions. -Hango
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Vincent Rainbow
Brutor tribe
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Posted - 2007.06.11 19:01:00 -
[6]
They should add the content of this thread to the new players tutorial or game guide section.
Then at least we will have the ultimate repository of frequently repeated tosh in one easy reference place without resorting to another thread.
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Janu Hull
Caldari
Order of Z Industries
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Posted - 2007.06.11 19:05:00 -
[7]
Avoid malls because trying to find a parking space reminds you too much of docking in Jita.
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Selene Fenestre
Lemuria Prospecting
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Posted - 2007.06.11 19:07:00 -
[8]
Good God man! It must have been an extremely quiet day at work 
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Raphael Ordo
COLD-Wing
Mordus Angels
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Posted - 2007.06.11 20:05:00 -
[9]
Word
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Lord Turk
Gallente
Nubs.
D-L
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Posted - 2007.06.11 20:12:00 -
[10]
you know you play Eve to much when you tell your dog you'll pod him if he doesn't stop chewing stuff up
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Kasahara
KAOS.
KA0S Theory
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Posted - 2007.06.11 20:19:00 -
[11]
Your girlfriend wants to have sex but you tell her to hold on im in a fleet battle.
You petittion the wife or girlfriend for sex.
The only time you have sex with your wife is during downtime.
LOL so true, think another one is:
You think about how to fit a ship during sex lol
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Thanos Draicon
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Posted - 2007.06.11 20:30:00 -
[12]
Originally by: Kasahara
Your girlfriend wants to have sex but you tell her to hold on im in a fleet battle.
You petittion the wife or girlfriend for sex.
The only time you have sex with your wife is during downtime.
LOL so true, think another one is:
You think about how to fit a ship during sex lol
Hey, it increases your stamina!!!! 
Also:
You know you play EVE too much when you're extremely tired and think "****, almost out of cap..."
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Asestorian
Minmatar
Sebiestor tribe
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Posted - 2007.06.11 20:31:00 -
[13]
You've seen a variation of this thread about 50+ times 
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Druadan
Gallente
Aristotle Enterprises
Ethereal Dawn
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Posted - 2007.06.11 20:39:00 -
[14]
You see a thief legging it down the street and yell ''get points on him!'' to the bemusement of nearby pedestrians.
__________________________________________________
"A witty saying proves nothing" - Voltaire |
Skraeling Shortbus
Caldari
Gallente Federal Bank
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Posted - 2007.06.11 21:40:00 -
[15]
Originally by: Lord Turk
you know you play Eve to much when you tell your dog you'll pod him if he doesn't stop chewing stuff up
Ive actually said that :\
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Byzan Zwyth
Dark Centuri Inc.
Firmus Ixion
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Posted - 2007.06.11 22:25:00 -
[16]
I've never had any freak out IRL - game related moments with eve but when I played DAoC a lot I was driving one day and not lost but trying to find my way around and I started looking around my screen for the direction indicator you have on the HUD in DAoC.
that scared the **** out of me
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Rank: Tech 1 and a 1/2 cannon fodder
Pointless forum slowing bandwidth hogging signature pic inc? |
Original Saint
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Posted - 2007.06.11 22:31:00 -
[17]
I actualy say LOL IRL all the time, in my head ofcourse.....
[Posting with alt...Got my main forum gagged....] |
Ruff Ceyx
Amarr
Blackguard Brigade
Phalanx Alliance
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Posted - 2007.06.11 22:35:00 -
[18]
You blame redlight tickets on Lag. 
Speeding ticket, trying to outrun the blob.
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ReaperOfSly
Gallente
Lyrus Associates
Betrayal Under Mayhem
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Posted - 2007.06.11 22:36:00 -
[19]
When you ask your housemates to pay you X amount of ISK for the gas bill. 
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Beer is my religion. Guinness is my God. |
Lucy Skylancer
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Posted - 2007.06.11 22:40:00 -
[20]
Originally by: Karan Hanid
You think all females are in fact men.
rofl.
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EVIL SYNNs
Minmatar
Rionnag Alba
Triumvirate.
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Posted - 2007.06.11 22:42:00 -
[21]
When in your dreams your always checking local, even if the dream has NOTHING to do with Eve (I had one once)
<Sig being made> |
Ache Nas
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Posted - 2007.06.11 23:27:00 -
[22]
IRL ... i'm an alt ...
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Sam Reynolds
Caldari
Blue Sun Holdings
Blue Sun Trust
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Posted - 2007.06.11 23:28:00 -
[23]
You know you play EVE too much when...
you refer to your garage as "the hangar"
you refer to your mother-in-law as "biomass"
a Google search for "pwn" finds your online resume
you call in sick because your POS is in reinforced mode
you go to McDonald's and order "Gallente fries"
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Celestinus
Gallente
Ascent To Glory
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Posted - 2007.06.12 00:22:00 -
[24]
Originally by: Karan Hanid
T
You call Amercans - Gallente, Africans - Minmatar, Russians/Muslim - Amarr and China - Caldari.
Dude, we're french descendants :)
Now that I'm here.. why couldn't we have hybrid races?
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Haffrage
Sharks With Frickin' Laser Beams
Mercenary Coalition
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Posted - 2007.06.12 00:30:00 -
[25]
Sometimes when I'm playing FPS games and I hear someone dying near me, no matter what I'm doing, I turn around and shoot the guy to get on his killmail.
After a solid week of good fights in eve it took me 4 games of halo 2 (such a **** game tbh) to realize just wth I was doing. I promptly put down the SMG's and picked up the needlers and proceeded to get numerous double and triple kills, and a couple killtaculars with what most people try to call the worst gun in the game (screwed if I have to snipe though lol)
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Tech 2 Tier 2 Battlecruisers |
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Eldo Davip
Forum Moderator
Interstellar Services Department
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Posted - 2007.06.12 00:32:00 -
[26]
When you have seen this thread so many times that you know what the first response to this thread is going to be.
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EvE +NLINE - T+TALHELLDEATH SUPPORTER
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Roddiev
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Posted - 2007.06.12 00:34:00 -
[27]
When you post a MASSIVE wall of text on the forums 
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Karan Hanid
Amarr
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Posted - 2007.06.12 01:18:00 -
[28]
or maybe when you try to make smartass comments on game forums...
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The Ratfink
Itto-Ryu
Cruel Intentions
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Posted - 2007.06.12 01:55:00 -
[29]
pub quiz : Which part of an insect body does the antenna grow from?
Answer was Thorax
I embarrassingly said it was a gallante cruiser
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Danton Marcellus
Nebula Rasa Holdings
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Posted - 2007.06.12 03:20:00 -
[30]
I'll go with my regular for these threads; When you hit the gas coming up on a red light, thinking 'no damn gatecamper is going to get me!'
Yes it happened, got them wires crossed, EVE nearly killed me, do I have a lawsuit? 
Also Known As |
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