kbrdhero
Negrep Brigade
11
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Posted - 2012.01.10 16:18:00 -
[1] - Quote
Let me tell you a story about Bowkers.
During the summer of '98 I graduated college with a Bachelor's degree in Fine Arts. Like most of my pedigree, the real world brought forth challenges that we were largely unprepared for. Unwilling to face the harshness of adulthood, I decided instead to backpack across rural China to "find myself" and better understand what I wanted out of life. I exhausted all of my savings, sold most of my possessions and waved goodbye to my friends, as it would be nearly a year until I would come in contact with them again.
The first few days were absolutely fantastic. I found myself greatly enjoying both the culture and the cuisine as I made my way across the countryside. The Chinese have a particular gifting towards hospitality, and I never felt too far away from home. About midway through the trip however I longed for real, legitimate friendship. It was grand meeting new faces along my journey, but I found myself missing the embrace of a good friend who knows me well.
Things changed while I was about to forge the Yangtze River. Off in the distance I swore I heard a tune that was familiar to my ears, "We can d....want to....behind...." As I was nearing the opposite shore I was certain of what I was hearing, however I was currently occupied with my pants; during the trip over they'd become moist with (what I thought were) splashes from the river. It wasn't until I landed on the other side that I found out where the song was coming from: Bowkers in the flesh. He bellowed his music in a sultry baritone voice, one that I'll never forget. "...We can dance if you want to, we can leave your friends behind, 'cause your friends don't dance and if they don't then they're no friends of mine..."
I was struck in awe by the graceful delicacy of Bowkers's prancing as he floundered through the rice fields. He hadn't a care in the world. What's more was that he was coming right at me! I became cognizant of how nervous I was feeling and instinctively placed my hands in the pockets of my tattered pants. The source of my moistness was revealed to me in that moment: spaghetti, spaghetti everywhere. Bowkers was nearly upon me, I had to act swiftly if I wanted to hide the Italian shame pouring forth from my jeans. After a futile few seconds I realized all was lost and began formulating an explanation and apology.
With Bowkers now feet away from me I started my apology, except I couldn't speak at all. I was choking on spaghetti. Falling to the ground due to asphyxiation, he rushed to my side and caught me right before I struck the fertile soil. I lay there, lifelessly looking up into his eyes as he said "That'll do pig, that'll do." The mouth to mouth he performed on me was so fantastic that it would make Lady and the Tramp pale in comparison.
I never forgot that day, and I'll never stop supporting Bowkers in his endeavors. Join Sabotage Inc, it's what's best for you.
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