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Tarminic
Black Flame Industries
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Posted - 2007.06.29 19:12:00 -
[1]
1. Your car would run fairly well unless it was on the same stretch of road with 500 or more cars, at which point it would begin to degrade in performance until it stalled out at 700, and you would have to leave your vehicle and come back at a later time to hope the amount of traffic had let up enough for you to turn it on.
2. Your car would only cost a hundred bucks a month and would be pretty damn nice, but every six months or so you would have to install a free patch kit that would cause your vehicle to function horribly for a week afterwards, but give you nifty new buttons for the AC and as-yet-unused radio frequencies.
3. Every other car manufacturer would all sell the exact same car, except with minor differences in dashboard layout and acceleration. Then they would make grandiose claims about how popular their car model is.
4. All auto insurance is paid out in a quarterly lump sum, and insurance fraud is never investigated.
5. Their smallest model would be a skateboard, and their largest would be a land-bound 747 that required massive amounts of fuel to travel, but would get there almost instantly.
6. If you didn't like other drivers, you could remotely decrease their ability to accelerate, remove their headlights, or simply shoot them.
7. Every once in awhile, when you left the drive way you would suddenly find yourself back in that same driveway ten seconds later without explanation, and possibly with other drivers firing on you.
8. Collisions with other vehicles would not harm you in any way, but would comically send you spinning off the road in a random direction.
Any more?
Your signature exceeds the maximum allowed filesize of 24000 bytes -Sahwoolo Etoophie IBTL! IBDS! IBTC! 1st in a BoB |
Caios
Caldari Unified Refining Federation Interstellar Alcohol Conglomerate
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Posted - 2007.06.29 19:20:00 -
[2]
Edited by: Caios on 29/06/2007 19:21:29 There would be four basic models with many variations in between:
1. Cars resembling large gold phaluses that have horrible gas mileage. 2. Unpainted gray steel cars that are actually the halves of two different cars smashed together. 3. Cars shaped like *****. 4. Cars that consist of 4 wheels, a frame and the engine. You tape yourself to the gas tank and steer by manually turning the wheels.
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Winterblink
Body Count Inc. Mercenary Coalition
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Posted - 2007.06.29 19:24:00 -
[3]
One day you wake up and your steering wheel has changed from this to this.
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Frug
Zenithal Harvest
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Posted - 2007.06.29 19:31:00 -
[4]
Edited by: Frug on 29/06/2007 19:29:55 All instrument panels would indicate their status with a fuzzy green pulsing glow overlaid on a slightly darker background.
It would not come with an owners manual.
- - - - - - - - - Do not use dotted lines - - - - - - - If you think I'm awesome, say BOOO BOOO!! - Ductoris Neat look what I found - Kreul Hey, my marbles |
Cygnus Zhada
Amarr Viziam
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Posted - 2007.06.29 19:31:00 -
[5]
Originally by: Winterblink One day you wake up and your steering wheel has changed from this to this.
And you didn't even ASK for those, all you really wanted was to have the steering wheel actually connected to the front wheels properly.
Yes, I use lasers, please stop laughing in the back. |
Tarminic
Black Flame Industries
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Posted - 2007.06.29 19:32:00 -
[6]
Originally by: Winterblink One day you wake up and your steering wheel has changed from this to this.
Thread won, mods please close.
Your signature exceeds the maximum allowed filesize of 24000 bytes -Sahwoolo Etoophie IBTL! IBDS! IBTC! 1st in a BoB |
Jimer Lins
Gallente Sanctuary
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Posted - 2007.06.29 19:32:00 -
[7]
If Ford made MMOs, your computer would burst into flames if you got rammed while undocking.
SEARCh- we find sites for you! |
Winterblink
Body Count Inc. Mercenary Coalition
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Posted - 2007.06.29 19:34:00 -
[8]
Hm, might make that the comic this week. :)
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Drizit
Amarr Lonely out here Black Sun Alliance
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Posted - 2007.06.29 19:41:00 -
[9]
Every time your engine stalls, the car would automatically park itself in a field far from the road and transport itself back to the same spot in the road that it was on before when you manage to re-start the engine. This is despite the fact that there may be 20 other cars who had previously been left far behind in a chase now parked on that spot welcoming your return with open gun bays.
Just as you hit 120 on the freeway, a message would pop up on your windshield obscuring all view telling you that the car will be disabled for hotfix in 5 minutes.
A new model will be brought out that far exceeds the specs of any previous model, faster, more powerful engine and tougher than anything on the road today. When you have finished saving for it and bought the shiny new car, it will then be remotely nerfed to resemble the 1950's VW camper you drove as your first vehicle. Further nerfs of the add-on modules will make it little better than a Robin Reliant, (a very expensive Robin Reliant of course).
Marketed as the only car in the world that has a 1 hour lunch break every day.
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Saori Rei
Gallente Arcana Imperii Ltd. The Cartel.
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Posted - 2007.06.29 19:48:00 -
[10]
I want that second steering wheel O_O
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Sharupak
Minmatar Knights Of the Black Sun The Kano Organisation
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Posted - 2007.06.29 19:49:00 -
[11]
Watch out for the highway patrol in city limits..if you take down the dregs of society like good samaritan you wont find a cop in sight...but if you desintigrate that soda can on the side of the road they somehow know this instantly and bring down the swat team on your ass.
If you live in south central Hemitar, your car is a rusted out 87 buick skylark with a 454ci shoehorned into the engine compartment and you have the 40inch dubs with the rimms that keep on spinin when the car stops.
If you live in south central Hemitar, everyone knows the neighborhood on rens street parks their cars on their lawns
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It is people like the OPer which cause MMO games to suck because they have that "the grass is greener on the other side" syndrome so developers s |
Shameless Avenger
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Posted - 2007.06.29 19:51:00 -
[12]
Originally by: Winterblink One day you wake up and your steering wheel has changed from this to this.
You forgot to add some green-glow around it. |
Winterblink
Body Count Inc. Mercenary Coalition
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Posted - 2007.06.29 19:54:00 -
[13]
Originally by: Shameless Avenger
Originally by: Winterblink One day you wake up and your steering wheel has changed from this to this.
You forgot to add some green-glow around it.
Shhh wait for sunday... you guys are going to love this. I'll give Tarminic credit somewhere too. ;)
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Shameless Avenger
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Posted - 2007.06.29 19:56:00 -
[14]
Originally by: Winterblink
Originally by: Shameless Avenger
Originally by: Winterblink One day you wake up and your steering wheel has changed from this to this.
You forgot to add some green-glow around it.
Shhh wait for sunday... you guys are going to love this. I'll give Tarminic credit somewhere too. ;)
This is why I love the forums more than the game itself.
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Derovius Vaden
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Posted - 2007.06.29 19:56:00 -
[15]
Edited by: Derovius Vaden on 29/06/2007 19:56:54 Upon getting into a fight with a nearby car, the authorities arrive immediately, shoot out your tires, drag you from your car kicking and screaming, and set it on fire. Once they are satisfied that the vehicle has been properly punished, they all drive away, leaving you naked and defenseless in the middle of the road.
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Raia Mortius
Templars of Space Sparta Alliance
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Posted - 2007.06.29 20:02:00 -
[16]
you would by one of their cars just to realise you are not allowed to drive it unless you had a uni degree in engineering, mathematics, english and computer science.
you would justify this though saying: "it makes sense. Engineering to be able to change a tyre, mathematics to calculate gas mileage, english to read the road signs and computer science to to work the indicator."
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Akita T
Caldari Navy Volunteer Task Force
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Posted - 2007.06.29 20:07:00 -
[17]
Edited by: Akita T on 29/06/2007 20:10:13
If CCP designed cars...
* a brand new car would run equally well the moment you bought it and many years later, never needing any maintenance, no matter how damaged it is, then one bump in the road could make it suddendly explode
* all cars (except a few huge lorries) could easily and quickly self-repair, never needing any materials, but if you take it to the car service, they'll charge you a huge repair fee
* a car would easily disassemble and assemble in the blink of an eye, and a "regular sized" car would fit in your briefcase in disassembled form
* everybody could build his own car with no experience whatsoever in car building, for "do it yourself" kits available pretty much everywhere, for not much more as the car would cost from the dealership
* you could recycle a car for materials to build other cars (or for that matter, just about anything else) at any time
* you could gather the materials for a new car from dirt and boulders on the side of the road, rubble or disposed waste
Char creation guide | Module/Rig stacknerfing explained |
Angellyne
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Posted - 2007.06.29 20:18:00 -
[18]
Every now & then, when you honked your horn, it would just keep honking until you parked & switched the motor off.
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Derovius Vaden
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Posted - 2007.06.29 20:18:00 -
[19]
Originally by: Akita T Edited by: Akita T on 29/06/2007 20:10:13
If CCP designed cars...
* a brand new car would run equally well the moment you bought it and many years later, never needing any maintenance, no matter how damaged it is, then one bump in the road could make it suddendly explode
* all cars (except a few huge lorries) could easily and quickly self-repair, never needing any materials, but if you take it to the car service, they'll charge you a huge repair fee
* a car would easily disassemble and assemble in the blink of an eye, and a "regular sized" car would fit in your briefcase in disassembled form
* everybody could build his own car with no experience whatsoever in car building, for "do it yourself" kits available pretty much everywhere, for not much more as the car would cost from the dealership
* you could recycle a car for materials to build other cars (or for that matter, just about anything else) at any time
* you could gather the materials for a new car from dirt and boulders on the side of the road, rubble or disposed waste
Someones obviously never driven a Dodge.
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Sharupak
Minmatar Knights Of the Black Sun The Kano Organisation
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Posted - 2007.06.29 20:19:00 -
[20]
Edited by: Sharupak on 29/06/2007 20:18:10
Originally by: Angellyne Every now & then, when you honked your horn, it would just keep honking until you parked & switched the motor off.
Good one!
The dodge one is awesome too
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It is people like the OPer which cause MMO games to suck because they have that "the grass is greener on the other side" syndrome so developers s |
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Sharupak
Minmatar Knights Of the Black Sun The Kano Organisation
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Posted - 2007.06.29 20:29:00 -
[21]
If CCP manufactured cars, you would get a mandatory recall due to the performance of your car exceeding the competition.
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It is people like the OPer which cause MMO games to suck because they have that "the grass is greener on the other side" syndrome so developers s |
Tarminic
Black Flame Industries
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Posted - 2007.06.29 20:30:00 -
[22]
Originally by: Winterblink
Originally by: Shameless Avenger
Originally by: Winterblink One day you wake up and your steering wheel has changed from this to this.
You forgot to add some green-glow around it.
Shhh wait for sunday... you guys are going to love this. I'll give Tarminic credit somewhere too. ;)
OMG, I'll be famous! Time to put on mah shades.
Your signature exceeds the maximum allowed filesize of 24000 bytes -Sahwoolo Etoophie IBTL! IBDS! IBTC! 1st in a BoB |
Gimpslayer
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Posted - 2007.06.29 20:40:00 -
[23]
If CCP made your car you'd have:
an infinty sign instead of a gas tank.
none of those sissy airbag stickers welded to my sun visors
to wait ages for a license to drive something cooler
to change the $/isk ratio on ebay
no more red cars, yellow cars, etc..
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Stefx
Gallente Kuiper Belt Mining Industries
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Posted - 2007.06.29 20:44:00 -
[24]
If CCP made cars, would they participate in Formula 1 racing, and if so would the F1 authority (FIA) include CCP engineers?
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Exlegion
KnightRaven Research KnightRaven Alliance
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Posted - 2007.06.29 20:45:00 -
[25]
If CCP manufactured cars:
Every day at around the same time for about an hour, all cars would need to be safely parked so that the roads may be repaired, serviced, and maintained.
Their lower end models would be named Minmatar and only require vast amounts of duct tape and sailboat parts to manufacture.
Cryptic traffic advisories would quickly flash on your windshield without you even having a chance to read the report.
Criminals and thiefs' vehicles would blink red.
Using your onboard computer you would be able to pull up someone's employment history just by performing a simple search on someone's car. The onboard computer would also be standard on Minmatar cars .
One of us equals many of us. Disrespect one of us, you'll see plenty of us. - Guru |
J Ripper
Caldari
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Posted - 2007.06.29 20:59:00 -
[26]
If CCP Made cars.
1. Your radio would be repeative
2. Your car would stall as soon as you entered a congested area
3. You would only get a tiny amount of stuff in your trunk/boot
4. You would not be able to carry passengers
5. You would overheat your car by pressing the wrong button
6. the thought of being able to leave your car and walk around the garage would be mind blowing
7. car sharing would get your car taken away from you
8. You would not be able to sell on your car to some newb on Ebay
9. When approaching a junction, your car would automaticly reverse a bit then approach the junction a second time
10. special edition cars with ubber mods would be given to BOB only
my sig: --- Jon Johansen --- |
Kith Kanann
Minmatar Pator Tech Corp
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Posted - 2007.06.29 21:29:00 -
[27]
Edited by: Kith Kanann on 29/06/2007 21:28:26 If CCP made cars...
Opening the boot to load your groceries would generate a flux in the space time continium that would cause you to pause for anywhere up to 5 mins or more...
Jumping into your car first thing in the morning and then trying to exit again to collect your lunch which you had forgotten would mean waiting for 30 seconds untill you could open the drivers door.
Cars would only have wheels on one side.
Applying the brakes at a busy intersection would randomly be greeted with the message, this module has already been activated.
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Aioa
Planetary Assault Systems
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Posted - 2007.06.29 21:36:00 -
[28]
If lots of people drove a particular car because it was so good, the manufacturer would respond by making it completely useless.
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Exlegion
KnightRaven Research KnightRaven Alliance
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Posted - 2007.06.29 21:38:00 -
[29]
Originally by: Aioa If lots of people drove a particular car because it was so good, the manufacturer would respond by making it completely useless.
One of us equals many of us. Disrespect one of us, you'll see plenty of us. - Guru |
Kodiak31415
An Eye For An Eye Rule of Three
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Posted - 2007.06.29 21:47:00 -
[30]
While driving down the road you turn the wheel, the car keep going foward for another 30 seconds before turning.
You select reverse, your car goes into reverse for a second then back to drive or just dosen't shift. If you happen to drive a fighter and manage to get it into reverse it will top out at a max speed of 5 miles per hour.
Billboards would be placed in the middle of interstate highways.
Upon pulling out of the driveway you have to wait for about 3 minutes before your defroster kicks in and you can auctually see something.
When you enter a new highly populated town other cars will be invisible for up to 4-5 minutes. _______________________________ Pleese exucse any seplling erorr's in tihs psot |
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