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Tarminic Black Flame Industries	Posted - 2007.06.29 19:12:00 - [1] 1. Your car would run fairly well unless it was on the same stretch of road with 500 or more cars, at which point it would begin to degrade in performance until it stalled out at 700, and you would have to leave your vehicle and come back at a later time to hope the amount of traffic had let up enough for you to turn it on. 2. Your car would only cost a hundred bucks a month and would be pretty damn nice, but every six months or so you would have to install a free patch kit that would cause your vehicle to function horribly for a week afterwards, but give you nifty new buttons for the AC and as-yet-unused radio frequencies. 3. Every other car manufacturer would all sell the exact same car, except with minor differences in dashboard layout and acceleration. Then they would make grandiose claims about how popular their car model is. 4. All auto insurance is paid out in a quarterly lump sum, and insurance fraud is never investigated. 5. Their smallest model would be a skateboard, and their largest would be a land-bound 747 that required massive amounts of fuel to travel, but would get there almost instantly. 6. If you didn't like other drivers, you could remotely decrease their ability to accelerate, remove their headlights, or simply shoot them. 7. Every once in awhile, when you left the drive way you would suddenly find yourself back in that same driveway ten seconds later without explanation, and possibly with other drivers firing on you. 8. Collisions with other vehicles would not harm you in any way, but would comically send you spinning off the road in a random direction. Any more? Your signature exceeds the maximum allowed filesize of 24000 bytes -Sahwoolo Etoophie IBTL! IBDS! IBTC! 1st in a BoB
Caios Caldari Unified Refining Federation Interstellar Alcohol Conglomerate	Posted - 2007.06.29 19:20:00 - [2] Edited by: Caios on 29/06/2007 19:21:29 There would be four basic models with many variations in between: 1. Cars resembling large gold phaluses that have horrible gas mileage. 2. Unpainted gray steel cars that are actually the halves of two different cars smashed together. 3. Cars shaped like *****. 4. Cars that consist of 4 wheels, a frame and the engine. You tape yourself to the gas tank and steer by manually turning the wheels.
Winterblink Body Count Inc. Mercenary Coalition	Posted - 2007.06.29 19:24:00 - [3] One day you wake up and your steering wheel has changed from this to this. warp drive active \| nature vraie
Frug Zenithal Harvest	Posted - 2007.06.29 19:31:00 - [4] Edited by: Frug on 29/06/2007 19:29:55 All instrument panels would indicate their status with a fuzzy green pulsing glow overlaid on a slightly darker background. It would not come with an owners manual. - - - - - - - - - Do not use dotted lines - - - - - - - If you think I'm awesome, say BOOO BOOO!! - Ductoris Neat look what I found - Kreul Hey, my marbles
Cygnus Zhada Amarr Viziam	Posted - 2007.06.29 19:31:00 - [5] Originally by: Winterblink One day you wake up and your steering wheel has changed from this to this. And you didn't even ASK for those, all you really wanted was to have the steering wheel actually connected to the front wheels properly. Yes, I use lasers, please stop laughing in the back.
Tarminic Black Flame Industries	Posted - 2007.06.29 19:32:00 - [6] Originally by: Winterblink One day you wake up and your steering wheel has changed from this to this. Thread won, mods please close. Your signature exceeds the maximum allowed filesize of 24000 bytes -Sahwoolo Etoophie IBTL! IBDS! IBTC! 1st in a BoB
Jimer Lins Gallente Sanctuary	Posted - 2007.06.29 19:32:00 - [7] If Ford made MMOs, your computer would burst into flames if you got rammed while undocking. SEARCh- we find sites for you!
Winterblink Body Count Inc. Mercenary Coalition	Posted - 2007.06.29 19:34:00 - [8] Hm, might make that the comic this week. :) warp drive active \| nature vraie
Drizit Amarr Lonely out here Black Sun Alliance	Posted - 2007.06.29 19:41:00 - [9] Every time your engine stalls, the car would automatically park itself in a field far from the road and transport itself back to the same spot in the road that it was on before when you manage to re-start the engine. This is despite the fact that there may be 20 other cars who had previously been left far behind in a chase now parked on that spot welcoming your return with open gun bays. Just as you hit 120 on the freeway, a message would pop up on your windshield obscuring all view telling you that the car will be disabled for hotfix in 5 minutes. A new model will be brought out that far exceeds the specs of any previous model, faster, more powerful engine and tougher than anything on the road today. When you have finished saving for it and bought the shiny new car, it will then be remotely nerfed to resemble the 1950's VW camper you drove as your first vehicle. Further nerfs of the add-on modules will make it little better than a Robin Reliant, (a very expensive Robin Reliant of course). Marketed as the only car in the world that has a 1 hour lunch break every day. --
Saori Rei Gallente Arcana Imperii Ltd. The Cartel.	Posted - 2007.06.29 19:48:00 - [10] I want that second steering wheel O_O
Sharupak Minmatar Knights Of the Black Sun The Kano Organisation	Posted - 2007.06.29 19:49:00 - [11] Watch out for the highway patrol in city limits..if you take down the dregs of society like good samaritan you wont find a cop in sight...but if you desintigrate that soda can on the side of the road they somehow know this instantly and bring down the swat team on your ass. If you live in south central Hemitar, your car is a rusted out 87 buick skylark with a 454ci shoehorned into the engine compartment and you have the 40inch dubs with the rimms that keep on spinin when the car stops. If you live in south central Hemitar, everyone knows the neighborhood on rens street parks their cars on their lawns _______________________________________________ It is people like the OPer which cause MMO games to suck because they have that "the grass is greener on the other side" syndrome so developers s
Shameless Avenger	Posted - 2007.06.29 19:51:00 - [12] Originally by: Winterblink One day you wake up and your steering wheel has changed from this to this. You forgot to add some green-glow around it.
Winterblink Body Count Inc. Mercenary Coalition	Posted - 2007.06.29 19:54:00 - [13] Originally by: Shameless Avenger Originally by: Winterblink One day you wake up and your steering wheel has changed from this to this. You forgot to add some green-glow around it. Shhh wait for sunday... you guys are going to love this. I'll give Tarminic credit somewhere too. ;) warp drive active \| nature vraie
Shameless Avenger	Posted - 2007.06.29 19:56:00 - [14] Originally by: Winterblink Originally by: Shameless Avenger Originally by: Winterblink One day you wake up and your steering wheel has changed from this to this. You forgot to add some green-glow around it. Shhh wait for sunday... you guys are going to love this. I'll give Tarminic credit somewhere too. ;) This is why I love the forums more than the game itself.
Derovius Vaden	Posted - 2007.06.29 19:56:00 - [15] Edited by: Derovius Vaden on 29/06/2007 19:56:54 Upon getting into a fight with a nearby car, the authorities arrive immediately, shoot out your tires, drag you from your car kicking and screaming, and set it on fire. Once they are satisfied that the vehicle has been properly punished, they all drive away, leaving you naked and defenseless in the middle of the road.
Raia Mortius Templars of Space Sparta Alliance	Posted - 2007.06.29 20:02:00 - [16] you would by one of their cars just to realise you are not allowed to drive it unless you had a uni degree in engineering, mathematics, english and computer science. you would justify this though saying: "it makes sense. Engineering to be able to change a tyre, mathematics to calculate gas mileage, english to read the road signs and computer science to to work the indicator."
Akita T Caldari Navy Volunteer Task Force	Posted - 2007.06.29 20:07:00 - [17] Edited by: Akita T on 29/06/2007 20:10:13 If CCP designed cars... * a brand new car would run equally well the moment you bought it and many years later, never needing any maintenance, no matter how damaged it is, then one bump in the road could make it suddendly explode * all cars (except a few huge lorries) could easily and quickly self-repair, never needing any materials, but if you take it to the car service, they'll charge you a huge repair fee * a car would easily disassemble and assemble in the blink of an eye, and a "regular sized" car would fit in your briefcase in disassembled form * everybody could build his own car with no experience whatsoever in car building, for "do it yourself" kits available pretty much everywhere, for not much more as the car would cost from the dealership * you could recycle a car for materials to build other cars (or for that matter, just about anything else) at any time * you could gather the materials for a new car from dirt and boulders on the side of the road, rubble or disposed waste Char creation guide \| Module/Rig stacknerfing explained
Angellyne	Posted - 2007.06.29 20:18:00 - [18] Every now & then, when you honked your horn, it would just keep honking until you parked & switched the motor off.
Derovius Vaden	Posted - 2007.06.29 20:18:00 - [19] Originally by: Akita T Edited by: Akita T on 29/06/2007 20:10:13 If CCP designed cars... * a brand new car would run equally well the moment you bought it and many years later, never needing any maintenance, no matter how damaged it is, then one bump in the road could make it suddendly explode * all cars (except a few huge lorries) could easily and quickly self-repair, never needing any materials, but if you take it to the car service, they'll charge you a huge repair fee * a car would easily disassemble and assemble in the blink of an eye, and a "regular sized" car would fit in your briefcase in disassembled form * everybody could build his own car with no experience whatsoever in car building, for "do it yourself" kits available pretty much everywhere, for not much more as the car would cost from the dealership * you could recycle a car for materials to build other cars (or for that matter, just about anything else) at any time * you could gather the materials for a new car from dirt and boulders on the side of the road, rubble or disposed waste Someones obviously never driven a Dodge.
Sharupak Minmatar Knights Of the Black Sun The Kano Organisation	Posted - 2007.06.29 20:19:00 - [20] Edited by: Sharupak on 29/06/2007 20:18:10 Originally by: Angellyne Every now & then, when you honked your horn, it would just keep honking until you parked & switched the motor off. Good one! The dodge one is awesome too _______________________________________________ It is people like the OPer which cause MMO games to suck because they have that "the grass is greener on the other side" syndrome so developers s
Sharupak Minmatar Knights Of the Black Sun The Kano Organisation	Posted - 2007.06.29 20:29:00 - [21] If CCP manufactured cars, you would get a mandatory recall due to the performance of your car exceeding the competition. _______________________________________________ It is people like the OPer which cause MMO games to suck because they have that "the grass is greener on the other side" syndrome so developers s
Tarminic Black Flame Industries	Posted - 2007.06.29 20:30:00 - [22] Originally by: Winterblink Originally by: Shameless Avenger Originally by: Winterblink One day you wake up and your steering wheel has changed from this to this. You forgot to add some green-glow around it. Shhh wait for sunday... you guys are going to love this. I'll give Tarminic credit somewhere too. ;) OMG, I'll be famous! Time to put on mah shades. Your signature exceeds the maximum allowed filesize of 24000 bytes -Sahwoolo Etoophie IBTL! IBDS! IBTC! 1st in a BoB
Gimpslayer	Posted - 2007.06.29 20:40:00 - [23] If CCP made your car you'd have: an infinty sign instead of a gas tank. none of those sissy airbag stickers welded to my sun visors to wait ages for a license to drive something cooler to change the $/isk ratio on ebay no more red cars, yellow cars, etc..
Stefx Gallente Kuiper Belt Mining Industries	Posted - 2007.06.29 20:44:00 - [24] If CCP made cars, would they participate in Formula 1 racing, and if so would the F1 authority (FIA) include CCP engineers?
Exlegion KnightRaven Research KnightRaven Alliance	Posted - 2007.06.29 20:45:00 - [25] If CCP manufactured cars: Every day at around the same time for about an hour, all cars would need to be safely parked so that the roads may be repaired, serviced, and maintained. Their lower end models would be named Minmatar and only require vast amounts of duct tape and sailboat parts to manufacture. Cryptic traffic advisories would quickly flash on your windshield without you even having a chance to read the report. Criminals and thiefs' vehicles would blink red. Using your onboard computer you would be able to pull up someone's employment history just by performing a simple search on someone's car. The onboard computer would also be standard on Minmatar cars . One of us equals many of us. Disrespect one of us, you'll see plenty of us. - Guru
J Ripper Caldari	Posted - 2007.06.29 20:59:00 - [26] If CCP Made cars. 1. Your radio would be repeative 2. Your car would stall as soon as you entered a congested area 3. You would only get a tiny amount of stuff in your trunk/boot 4. You would not be able to carry passengers 5. You would overheat your car by pressing the wrong button 6. the thought of being able to leave your car and walk around the garage would be mind blowing 7. car sharing would get your car taken away from you 8. You would not be able to sell on your car to some newb on Ebay 9. When approaching a junction, your car would automaticly reverse a bit then approach the junction a second time 10. special edition cars with ubber mods would be given to BOB only my sig: --- Jon Johansen ---
Kith Kanann Minmatar Pator Tech Corp	Posted - 2007.06.29 21:29:00 - [27] Edited by: Kith Kanann on 29/06/2007 21:28:26 If CCP made cars... Opening the boot to load your groceries would generate a flux in the space time continium that would cause you to pause for anywhere up to 5 mins or more... Jumping into your car first thing in the morning and then trying to exit again to collect your lunch which you had forgotten would mean waiting for 30 seconds untill you could open the drivers door. Cars would only have wheels on one side. Applying the brakes at a busy intersection would randomly be greeted with the message, this module has already been activated.
Aioa Planetary Assault Systems	Posted - 2007.06.29 21:36:00 - [28] If lots of people drove a particular car because it was so good, the manufacturer would respond by making it completely useless.
Exlegion KnightRaven Research KnightRaven Alliance	Posted - 2007.06.29 21:38:00 - [29] Originally by: Aioa If lots of people drove a particular car because it was so good, the manufacturer would respond by making it completely useless. One of us equals many of us. Disrespect one of us, you'll see plenty of us. - Guru
Kodiak31415 An Eye For An Eye Rule of Three	Posted - 2007.06.29 21:47:00 - [30] While driving down the road you turn the wheel, the car keep going foward for another 30 seconds before turning. You select reverse, your car goes into reverse for a second then back to drive or just dosen't shift. If you happen to drive a fighter and manage to get it into reverse it will top out at a max speed of 5 miles per hour. Billboards would be placed in the middle of interstate highways. Upon pulling out of the driveway you have to wait for about 3 minutes before your defroster kicks in and you can auctually see something. When you enter a new highly populated town other cars will be invisible for up to 4-5 minutes. _______________________________ Pleese exucse any seplling erorr's in tihs psot
Alpine 69 Slacker Industries Exuro Mortis	Posted - 2007.06.29 21:55:00 - [31] Originally by: Aioa If lots of people drove a particular car because it was so good, the manufacturer would respond by making it completely useless. You sir, Owe me a new keyboard ...damn coffee..... Sweet love for the ones that mod my sig <3 From her? You're on. -Rauth
Sharupak Minmatar Knights Of the Black Sun The Kano Organisation	Posted - 2007.06.29 22:06:00 - [32] When the drivers of miner cars get ****ed because a pirate stole their ore, it is called "roid rage" _______________________________________________ It is people like the OPer which cause MMO games to suck because they have that "the grass is greener on the other side" syndrome so developers s
Le Skunk Low Sec Liberators	Posted - 2007.06.29 22:25:00 - [33] Edited by: Le Skunk on 29/06/2007 22:24:24 if you complained about any massive flaws (like a door hanging off) you would be met by stoeny silence then after you repeat your complaint 200 times a petulant "WE ARE LOOKING AT IT ALRIGHT!" from the car designeres SKUNK Originally by: Fink Angel They acted like Mr. Creasote at the all you can eat buffet, and CCP provided the Wafer Theeen Mint.
Angellyne	Posted - 2007.06.29 22:29:00 - [34] Originally by: Trek You would need to press at least 20 buttons to program your GPS navigator to the nearest large city. GPS: "Your destination is 100,000 miles away. Please press 20 more buttons, as this is four times the circumferance of the Earth."
Exlegion KnightRaven Research KnightRaven Alliance	Posted - 2007.06.29 22:36:00 - [35] Edited by: Exlegion on 29/06/2007 22:36:58 Your accident report would only have one option for "Cause of accident": "Please check all that apply: ______ PWND!1!!" One of us equals many of us. Disrespect one of us, you'll see plenty of us. - Guru
Illyria Ambri Caldari RennTech	Posted - 2007.06.29 22:38:00 - [36] On occasion when you get into the car.. there is no dashboard at all.. requiring you to exit said car and get back in to make the dashboard appear. ------------ This is not War... This is pest control - Dalek Sek
J Ripper Caldari	Posted - 2007.06.29 22:44:00 - [37] Originally by: Illyria Ambri On occasion when you get into the car.. there is no dashboard at all.. requiring you to exit said car and get back in to make the dashboard appear. FPMSL!! my sig: --- Jon Johansen ---
Becq Starforged Minmatar Ship Construction Services	Posted - 2007.06.29 23:02:00 - [38] If CCP ran law enforcement: 1) You could mount military-grade weaponry on your car and no one would comment. 2) Outside of city limits, you could blow up any car you saw, and there would be about a 50% chance that when the smoke cleared, the car's radio -- still in working order -- would be sitting in a box in the crater. 3) Within a city, any weapons fire would be met with the immediant teleportation of an M1A1 Abrams to 10 feet over your vehicle (adjusted for your velocity). That is, unless you sent CCP a nice check weekly, in which case you could nuke a school without repercussions. -- Becq Starforged proprietor of Starforge Industries, a subsidiary of Minmatar Ship Construction Services At Starforge Industries, the world of tomorrow is being blown apart today!
Draskuul Vrallis Minmatar PoliCratton Technologies 5th Column	Posted - 2007.06.29 23:14:00 - [39] Originally by: Tarminic 5. Their smallest model would be a skateboard, and their largest would be a land-bound 747 that required massive amounts of fuel to travel, but would get there almost instantly. Add: "have to stop for more fuel every 20 miles" - You would have to empty your groceries out of their bags into your trunk in order to carry them. - Large trucks would take five minutes to do a U-turn. I can't come up with a good analogy for disobedient drones...
Fink Angel Caldari The Merry Men	Posted - 2007.06.30 00:09:00 - [40] Originally by: Tarminic 1. Your car would run fairly well unless it was on the same stretch of road with 500 or more cars, at which point it would begin to degrade in performance until it stalled out at 700, and you would have to leave your vehicle and come back at a later time to hope the amount of traffic had let up enough for you to turn it on. We call them traffic jams around our way. In particular, the "M25" cyber implant gives a 90% penalty to speed as a starting point.
Sali Ennt	Posted - 2007.06.30 00:40:00 - [41] If CCP made cars... Turning on the radio would immediately make driving much more hazardous. Cruise control would dump you 15 km from your destination. Some garages would cause you to randomly crash into walls. A semi truck that hit a sub compact would bounce off.
William Hamilton Caldari THE LEGION OF STEEL WARRIORS.... R0ADKILL	Posted - 2007.06.30 01:02:00 - [42] Cars with a supercharger would preform normaly, but cars with a turbocharger would spontaneously grow six times as big as soon as it kicked in. Also, turbocharged cars would have smaller gas tanks. A lot of cars, especially those containing smaller cars, would persistently siphon gas from each other. Briefcases you put in your trunk would strangely contain more volume than they occupied.
Wink Caldari Asgard Protectorate	Posted - 2007.06.30 01:04:00 - [43] Edited by: Wink on 30/06/2007 01:04:51 If CCP made cars, your trunk space would all of a sudden and without any particular reasoning, be reduced by 20% or more If CCP made cars, you would not be able to put a suitcase that had a toothbrush container in it in the trunk without causing a tear in the "universal all that is holy of holyness" If CCP made cars, you would not be in before Dark Shikari, not be in before Chribba, not be in a Bob thread and no way in hell be in before the lock If CCP made cars, wait...pheew, glad they don't
Agent Li	Posted - 2007.06.30 01:07:00 - [44] If you exceeded the speed limit in an area with speed cameras, the police would materialize out of thin air in M-1 tanks and blow you up. ------------------ "Don't be afraid to take advantage of your enemy's weaknesses. Becasuse winning is everything after all."
Felysta Sandorn Caldari System-Lords	Posted - 2007.06.30 01:42:00 - [45] Originally by: Tarminic If CCP Manufactured Cars They'd be the best damn cars in the world... Latest Video, Click Here!
Sir Bart Vendetta Underground Rule of Three	Posted - 2007.06.30 02:08:00 - [46] You're car would work fine all day until one weekend when you're on a road trip stopped waiting for a green light you'd notice a semi headed straight for you. You'd quickly step on the gas to get out of the way only to be treated to a pleasant female voice telling you acceleration is already in progress. Comforted by this voice you'd breath out a sigh of releif and then wake up in the hospital. -Bart
Kindakrof Caldari Cruor Frater Coalition of Carebear Killers	Posted - 2007.06.30 03:03:00 - [47] If CCP manufactured a car, there would be a client error and your car would stop for 5 minutes, nothing happening. Then you would get a connection problem. Then you'd wake up in a hospital. --- --- ---
Eric Lupanasia	Posted - 2007.06.30 03:23:00 - [48] If you DARED wonder aloud why turning the station knob on your stereo made the GPS locator start speaking in Swahili, at least 100 other drivers would immediately call you a "noob" and suggest you go back to driving school. You would be able to drive at insanely fast speeds and simply drive through other vehicles, obstacles, buildings and anything else... but only if you already knew your destination. You would not be able to stop or steer the car during this drive. If you wanted to simply drive around and sightsee, you would not be allowed to move beyond first gear. Also, if you let your kids out at soccer practice and told them to go directly to the field, they would likely get halfway there and then forget what they were doing, then wander off to the nearby arcade. ...wait, that one actually happens in RL. ------------------- "There can be good done while profiting."
Gunther Dwendel Minmatar Texas Lone Star Spacers	Posted - 2007.06.30 03:53:00 - [49] In the event of a accident that totaled your nice new car you would file for insurance and get 1 dollar/euro and a bottle of Quafe. Should you complain, you will be ignored for 30-90 days and then told the car self destructed by design.
Kindakrof Caldari Cruor Frater Coalition of Carebear Killers	Posted - 2007.06.30 03:58:00 - [50] Originally by: Gunther Dwendel In the event of a accident that totaled your nice new car you would file for insurance and get 1 dollar/euro and a bottle of Quafe. Should you complain, you will be ignored for 30-90 days and then told the car self destructed by design. After taking this to higher autorities within CCP asking for a replacement or some sort of settlement you will be told that the car was ultimately in their posession all along. When you complain they will show you page 326 of the contract you signed, in size 6 font says that you agreed to be have the car registered to you but according to a loophole in the constitution and stuff the car was their property and you will never get anything back. They might give you a piece of candy at the office tho... if Kieron hasn't eated it all. --- --- ---
Mogrin Caldari Spartan Fleet Systems	Posted - 2007.06.30 04:01:00 - [51] 1) If your win-shield wiper splashed water onto sombody elses car, or you stepped on a cigarette that another driver threw in the street, 50 para-police would parachute in in 1 second and obliterate your car. Your insurance would cover the base model of the car full and your rates wouldn't go up. However, you could steal anything from another person that wasn't locked in their car and the police wouldn't care. _______________ Rokh vs. Hyperion
RtoZ	Posted - 2007.06.30 04:36:00 - [52] If CCP made cars it would take 3 years to skill up to drivers licence 1, and a further 6 months to Parallel Park III, which is required to be able to reverse.
Taran Summers The Merovingians	Posted - 2007.06.30 05:53:00 - [53] Edited by: Taran Summers on 30/06/2007 05:57:10 Edited by: Taran Summers on 30/06/2007 05:55:56 Hmm. If CCP made cars. 1. If you got more than 7 or 800 of them in the same neighborhood block you would suddenly find yourself unable to steer, the radio would begin stuttering the same half second, all your gauges would lock, then you would suddenly be sitting on the floor in your garage with no car since that section of road just crashed. 2. If you pulled out of a parking lot in a large traffic area, the moment you left the garage all you would see through any window is solid black for minutes at a time, hoping you don't crash. 3. The vehicle would have lots of random quirks and glitches and when you took it back to the factory to get it serviced, you would get it back to find it had nitrous installed. When you hit the nitrous the radio, brakes, and overhead light would explode from overheating. The quirks and glitches will not have been fixed. (Also possible, you'd hit the nitrous, nothing would happen, and a 17,000 page manual would fall out of the glove compartment. It would take up to five weeks to read. On the last page it would tell you to hold down the nitrous button for half a second and honk the horn twice to make it work). 4. An 18 wheeler would suddenly find itself being rammed into by dozens of foul mouthed drunk teenagers on skateboards and bicycles with bee's on their jackets and be unable to align onto the interstate on-ramp before exploding. The teens would laugh gleefully if the truck was loaded with beer. 5. Trucks would be spotted with no drivers running between quarries and warehouses loaded with valuable quarried stone. They would have license plates like XYZZY23 XYZZY17 and XYZZY2. 6. You would spend months getting licensed for all the exact bells and whistles you want for your luxury sports car. Only to find out three days before you finish learning everything that the entire model has been factory modified into a compact. 7. To go from a Ford to a Toyota would take a minimum of 14 days of around the clock training to grasp the basic concepts of how to drive the different model. 8. If you drove into the bad section of town and passed what seemed to be an unoccupied parked car. 14 mad maxed wrecker cars would suddenly fall from the sky onto the road simultaneously and proceed to ram you into oblivion. Turning off the car would suck you into the sky and out of harms way 30 seconds later. 9. Slamming into a train at 130 miles an hour would bounce your car back 15 feet and veer the train 70 degrees off its track. Both vehicles would be unharmed. 10. When low on fuel you could lock onto a nearby vehicle and drain all the gasoline (petrol) from their vehicle to yours. 11. After a bad traffic accident caused by an obscured traffic sign or failed stoplight you could get out of your car, pray, and have it given back to you in 2-4 weeks depending on the queue. (And I have to be tacky here, please forgive me great god Hutch, destroyer of hecklers, I sacrifice a kitten unto you). Unless you have gods MSN address, then it takes 15 minutes. 12. When first opened, the roads would make you slow to 5 when you got 1500 feet away from a light. Later you would not have to slow down till you were 0-200 feet from the light. Drivers would complain. 13. The most advanced and powerful vehicles would not be allowed to leave the bad part of town. 14. Your car would sometimes vanish from your garage. This would usually be immediately followed with a termination notice from your employer. There would be no recourse.
Phoenix T'ril Gallente	Posted - 2007.06.30 07:17:00 - [54] Edited by: Phoenix T''ril on 30/06/2007 07:16:27 1. Cars don't have steering wheels, or joysticks. Instead, you point to where you want to go and the car tries go there, more or less successfully. 2. Cars would magically be able to fit into little boxes at the push of a button. If you put the car in such a box, when you took it back out you'd have to pay the your insurance premiums again, even if you just paid them. 3. The instrument panel consists of a fuel gauge, the battery gauge, and a speedometer, and brand new on all models is the temperature gauge. There are no warning lights, turn signals, or 'check engine soon' lights anywhere. 4. When you're driving, you can talk to, and see the names of, all the other drivers within fifteen kilometres of your car. You can never turn this off. 5. You can never get out of your car. If you do, you have to take the driver's seat out too and always sit in it. Conveniently, the driver's seat comes fully equipped with the ability to float around with no visible means of doing so. 6. If you have an accident, just before you hit the other car, everything will pause for a few seconds, and then suddenly you'll be sitting in the driver's seat at the side of the road, while your car promptly explodes beside you. 7. There are never any houses, only apartment buildings and huge parking garages. 8. When parking, you need only drive near the parking garage at any point and push a button, and you will suddenly appear within the parking garage, stopped in your own spot. 9. Everyone leaves the parking garage by the same exit, and if you leave at the same time, you will simply pass through each other until you drive away. 10. A particular kind of parking garage will always look the same inside, even if they're in different cities. 11. Cars can only drive on city roads or super-highways. City roads have a speed limit of 10 kilometres an hour, and on superhighways it's illegal to go slower than 5 km a second. -- I do not speak for my corp, or my alliance.
Tassill Minmatar GREY COUNCIL	Posted - 2007.06.30 08:54:00 - [55] If ccp made you car - In the case of a car jacking or any other hostile action towards you, you would simpily burry your head under the steering wheel and close your eyes allowing you to vanish. - You could rev your car way past its rev limiter and turn your stereo up to 11 for extra doof. - You would not need to wory about buying fule as you could just suck it from your enemies car. - If you realy wanted to kill your enemies car you would fit lots of these fule vampires and use your remote control cars to attack your defenceless enemy.
Ranar Estraad	Posted - 2007.06.30 09:00:00 - [56] --- For the first few seconds after you left your garage, your car would be traveling upsidedown and moving sideways before straightening out.
Gee Lok	Posted - 2007.06.30 10:07:00 - [57] If CCP made cars, people would complain endlessly that x model was too fast, or y model was too durable, or that z model has too much cargo space. So CCP would proceed to recall certain models to downgrade them.
Evul Tom	Posted - 2007.06.30 10:35:00 - [58] your car wouldn't work between 11 and 12 eve time :(
torswin Caldari Capital Productions Inc.	Posted - 2007.06.30 11:44:00 - [59] If CCP created ROADS there would be gravel roads where people drove, and massive gigant highways in the small corners of the galaxy where there are 2 cars max. AND when people complains about the gravel roads, CCP just say "calm down! Upgrading roads is to fight the consequense not the cause!" ---
Drizit Amarr Lonely out here Black Sun Alliance	Posted - 2007.06.30 12:51:00 - [60] Edited by: Drizit on 30/06/2007 12:52:03 Originally by: Eric Lupanasia Also, if you let your kids out at soccer practice and told them to go directly to the field, they would likely get halfway there and then forget what they were doing, then wander off to the nearby arcade. ...wait, that one actually happens in RL. The kids would also agress the biggest baddest hulk they could find and then run back to you because they can't deal with it. This leaves you fratically winding up windows and stepping on the gas to get away quick before he pounds you and your car to dust. ... Wait, that also happens in RL No matter how many times you call them, the kids will wander back toward the car and hang around behind it while you wait impatiently for them to get back in. ... Hang on, that's the same as RL too. --
Ontourage	Posted - 2007.06.30 13:02:00 - [61] "You are unable to drive because you are being spark plug scrambled"
hUssmann Caldari Veto. Veto Corp	Posted - 2007.06.30 13:12:00 - [62] If CCP made cars GoonSwarm would complain T20 had the blueprint, ironically enough T20 would be one of the few people who were supposed to have it. Ginger Magician > You are merely an effective ganker of haulers who runs at the first sign of combat.
slip66 Black Nova Corp Band of Brothers	Posted - 2007.06.30 13:16:00 - [63] Originally by: Winterblink One day you wake up and your steering wheel has changed from this to this. haahah so true Originally by: StOrM ViPeR Theres a skill called surgical strike in game I've learned that it actually stands for Band of Brothers
slip66 Black Nova Corp Band of Brothers	Posted - 2007.06.30 13:22:00 - [64] Edited by: slip66 on 30/06/2007 13:21:10 The navigation system would get you to where you are going but on its default setting it would take 1hr to get 10 blocks over. Of course you would have the option to put it in the none safe mode and you would be there in 10 min. Although you would prolly be raped and require a new car along the way. Originally by: StOrM ViPeR Theres a skill called surgical strike in game I've learned that it actually stands for Band of Brothers
banner	Posted - 2007.06.30 14:56:00 - [65] 1. as you approach ur garage a female voice calls out requesting permission to park........20 seconds later you are still outside waiting. 2. you approach a bad intersection which is surrounded by flashing red cars who proceed to start bumping you. then blowing ur car up and drivers seat.....darn camps 3. aswell as the standard 1 hour down time your car will need for rutine (spelling?) maintenance it will shut itself down at inconvenient times for emergency repairs in the middle of no where leaving u stuck with no where to go
Jade Lynn	Posted - 2007.06.30 15:36:00 - [66] - If you got into the car for ANY reason, even if you just wanted to grab something from the passenger seat, you would have to wait a minimum of 30 seconds before getting out again. - It would be physically impossible to keep any luggage or other container in your car while it was being transported on a ferry (because ferry's were not supposed to be used to carry luggage). - It would be legal to steal any vehicle you see without anyone in it - ApplyWheelBraking is already ApplyWheelBraking. - The roads would be full of faults and defects, causing dozens of vehicles to be lost every day. The Government will refuse to acknowledge any of these faults, and any complatints for reimbursement will be met with "our traffic logs don't show anything unusual". - Said Government will boast about how their roads had thousands of motorists using them at once, while neglecting to mention that the roads were unable to cope with the traffic, were completely gridlocked, and left the motorists stuck for most of the day.
Xonkra Gallente	Posted - 2007.06.30 16:27:00 - [67] Edited by: Xonkra on 30/06/2007 16:27:37 bummer , guy above beat me to it Originally by: Illyria Ambri No matter how you want to say it.. it always sounds like frog clearing throat "Ve zurrendur, dunt schuut"
Bonny Lee Caldari God's Army Corp OPUS Alliance	Posted - 2007.06.30 17:04:00 - [68] If Porsche would develop EvE the game would be ******* hot and would never lag but there would also be a Servermax of 2 People and you Cargo would be like 10%
Lucas Avidius Einherjar Rising	Posted - 2007.06.30 20:14:00 - [69] If CCP made cars: -Tiny covered scooters would be able to be materialized infinitely in any garage so long as you enter it from the outside on foot. Almost no one would buy them used, you couldnt take them apart, and they would always come mysteriously with a handfull of dirt in a complementary dixie cup placed on the drivers seat. -Second gear and higher on any car would only exist as aftermarket upgrades, which cant be insured on top of the car. -A gigantic SUV would have barely more cargo space than a compact car, despite being several hundred times as massive. -Using your car to gather rocks or trash to take to the recycler would be possible, however every 15-30 minutes robotic bandits of varying size would show up and randomly attack you, potentially even destroying your car. The police would do nothing about it, even if they were already at the scene, however the moment you run over a cricket or frog on the road in town, you would be surrounded by tanks and obliterated. -Traffic would procede at each cars maximum velocity down all roads. There would be no lanes marked, and no barriers between cars travveling in opposite directions. Any cars that collide would bounce off eachother in a cartoonish manner, and eventually return to the same heading automatically, despite the fact that they may now be driving on a sidewalk, lawn, or ditch. -Highway robbery would be Very common. Other drivers would park at popular intersections, stealthily inspecting the contents of every passing vehicles trunk. Once a vehicle with a valuvble enough cargo is found, said car would fire a single, high powered missile at the car, destroying it. The cars cargo would sit in the middle of the road while the police tanks materialized and destroyed the attacking car, but would pay no mind to the semitrailer with a crane that has just scooped up the remains of the destroyed car. The driver of the attackign car would be given a lower number to wear on his chest and told not to drive another car for 15 minutes, then set free. -If cars were made by their owners to perform too well or be too durable than their designers had envisioned, all cars of the same class would be reposessed, factory downgraded and returned to their owners at a moments notice. -You could buy a car used for cheap, insure it for the full value of that model brand new, and blow it up with dynamite to collect the insurance money. No one would question it, ever. -The complementary scooters that every garage can magically create would be left outside the entrances to garages and parking lots habitually. Cleaning them up would be a time consuming process, and you would bump off them every time you tried to drive out of the parking lot. If you get out of your car to move or set the offending scooter to blow up on its own, anyone on the nearby sidewalk could jump in your car and drive off with it, no questions asked. -Every vehicle made, no matter what differences, would have the exact same Dashboard, Steering controls, and warning lights. And every car of the same model would be the exact same color. For differences in appearance, car owners could mount differing types of guns on their hoods, doors, and windshields. All car mounted missile launchers would be invisible.
ghosttr Amarr ARK-CORP FREGE Alliance	Posted - 2007.06.30 20:59:00 - [70] -The police would come and blow up anyone who touched you car, even if you didnt call them -If someone is trying to attack your car driving into the middle of the nearest field & exiting would make you car disappear. -Car fitted with certain devices cannot be seen, even if they are right in front of you in rush-hour traffic. . Better player owned system defense
Asimov Andies Gallente Red Blade Industries	Posted - 2007.06.30 21:07:00 - [71] If CCP Made cars you could mount a tractor beam on the hood that could only pull luggage that you threw out of your car and the smoking smoldering wrecks of cars you blew up. Anything else would be mysteriously immune to your tractor beam. -=#=- Angry beer bottles make Kaemonn a sad panda NO It's Been Touched
Gun Hog Caldari Ardent Industrial Hydra Alliance	Posted - 2007.06.30 21:13:00 - [72] Originally by: ghosttr -The police would come and blow up anyone who touched you car, even if you didnt call them But would not lift a finger if someone drove off with it! -If someone is trying to attack your car driving into the middle of the nearest field & exiting would make you car disappear. Not if he scrambled your engine! -Car fitted with certain devices cannot be seen, even if they are right in front of you in rush-hour traffic. But would have to drive at walking speeds, and using your CB radio nearby would cause police tanks to pulverize your car! ------------------------------------------ The original ultra noob 0.0 carebear
Morhon Amarr Aegis Starship Enterprises	Posted - 2007.06.30 21:26:00 - [73] Edited by: Morhon on 30/06/2007 21:25:15 It would be a vauxhall corsa Does my bum look big in this cape?
Stilje Caldari Zoroaster Corp	Posted - 2007.07.04 14:00:00 - [74] You would attempt to change cars, only to be told that you have to wait 15 seconds before you can.
Herazod Forestal	Posted - 2007.07.10 11:57:00 - [75] 1. Using any of your mounted equipment will cause your battery to drain, limiting the number of itmes or time you can use your car uninterupted. 2. You could instantly change your car from truck to dragster with do it yourself home equipment kits that would snap on. 3. Never need maintainence, but require frequent body repairs. 4. Can only travel straight, unless you would desire to mearly drive around something in circles. 5. 15 teenagers on skateboards would be able to take down a m1 abrams tank with their Ipods and Cell phones. 6. You would have a bunch of smaller cars in your trunk that you can send out to attack annoying drivers. 7. If someone cut you off in traffic, you could place a bounty on thier heads. 8. Your garage would have infinite space for your stuff, and you would never have to have a garage sale unless you needed the money. 9. All places would have annoyingly colored bright skies, clouds and objects, and fog, and would never actually look like real sky 10. You would never need to wash, wax or get a dent fixed, all fender benders would result in impossible to note internal damage, which never effects car performance.
Spaced Skunk D00M. Triumvirate.	Posted - 2007.07.10 12:14:00 - [76] Edited by: Spaced Skunk on 10/07/2007 12:13:41 "I.....I.....crashed......it wasn'y MY fault, it was that guy over there hyped up on Quafe! ONWARDS TO THE PETITION PEDAL!" CCP's Iteron mark 5! CCP's Rupture!
Gner Dechast Gallente Flashman Services	Posted - 2007.07.10 13:41:00 - [77] Trying to get from Berlin to Paris, your car would say "not enough gasoline. 347.4 liters required when only 201.5 was present" and suck your tank empty in one gulp. Then it would roll down the ramp to the highway, and would not stop no matter what you do until you reach 4/7th of the journey, by which time your gas tank has been slowly filling with new gasoline oozing from it's sides.
Tarminic Black Flame Industries	Posted - 2007.07.10 13:48:00 - [78] Hrm...is it flattering to have my own thread necro'd? ------------ LAG - Hopefully teen-appropriate now. IBTL! IBDS/DC! IBTC! 1st in a BoB post! And other such forum tom-foolery.

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