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James 315
Yet Another CAOD-Inspired 1-Man Alt Corp
   |
Posted - 2007.07.03 17:18:00 -
[1]
Here's my strategy on the cold war: We win, they lose.
- Ronald Wilson Reagan
You know, if I were a single man, I might ask that mummy out. That's a good-looking mummy.
- William Jefferson Clinton
Yet Another CAOD-Inspired 1-Man Alt Corp completes another successful contract.
Operation That Thing Where You Poke a Hole in a Piece of Paper to Safely View an Eclipse
Victim: Black Eclipse Corp.
A full report will be forthcoming, complete with videos, graphics, links, and page after endless page of text. The following battle reports are just a sample to whet your appetite. If you want to see the final killboard statistics, skip to the end of this post.
THE BATTLE OF K-6K16
June 26, 15:00 hrs. Considered logging in to play Eve but had other stuff to do instead. Down one-half box of Cheez-It brand baked snack *****ers. Black Eclipse Corp continued to hold the system, tenatively.
THE BATTLE OF NDII-Q
June 28, 19:45 hrs. Successfully logged into npc station in Amarr space. Evaluated the situation from both a tactical AND strategic standpoint. So far, so good. Skill training of Energy Management III completed. Proceeded to level IV. Onward and upward.
THE BATTLE OF DZ6-I5
June 29, 22:30 hrs. Feigned a surprise attack on Black Eclipse Corp mining POS--in reality, didn't leave station in high-sec. Maneuver a complete success. Majority of Black Eclipse Corp's carebears in the European timezone began logging off in panic, approx. 23:00 Eve time.
THE BATTLE OF MSKR-1
June 30, 03:15 hrs. Read reports from YACAODI1MAC spies and assorted fanmail. Our forces had obtained an edge in the psychological warfare front. Black Eclipse Corp unsure of how to proceed. Counter-intelligence showed no signs of breaches of our own security. That "at least one reference" policy is really paying off.
THE BATTLE OF GQ2S-8
July 01, 11:15 hrs. Surprise assault took place in the early morning hours, but did not involve either BoB or YACAODI1MAC forces. Accidentally reprocessed a gallente shuttle. Had plans to invade Delve, but postponed until more capital pilots could log in.
And finally....
Official Kill/Loss Tally for Operation That Thing Where You Poke a Hole in a Piece of Paper to Safely View an Eclipse
KILLS:
0 assault frigates
0 HACs
0 interceptors
0 frigates
1 carriers*
0 dreadnoughts
0 BATTLESHIPS
0 battlecruisers
0 interdictors
0 shuttles
0 pods
LOSSES:
0 assault frigates
0 HACs
0 interceptors
0 frigates
0 carriers
0 dreadnoughts
0 BATTLESHIPS
0 battlecruisers
0 interdictors
1 shuttles**
0 pods
* unconfirmed
** lost to accidental reprocessing. A setback to be sure, but hardly devastating. Efforts are already underway to acquire a replacement.
Some of you may ask how this contract can be considered a success when so little damage was done to Black Eclipse Corp. First of all, my plan for a masterstroke that would defeat Black Eclipse was completed and refined to the point where it was certain to work. That was the hard part, and I did it. Unfortunately I did not have time to execute it, since I, ya know, have a life and a girlfriend and I can't be on Eve 23/7 like some people. I also had to spend some of my valuable online minutes writing on Eve-O, where my principal responsibilities lie. But more importantly, for a mercenary, the definition of success is always the satisfaction of the employer. Not impressing a bunch of random onlookers. So yes, I was extremely successful and my employer says he would recommend YACAODI1MAC to anyone:
"I am completely satisfied by the execution of this contract. I would recommend YACAODI1MAC to anyone."
Thanks to Black Eclipse Corp for some good, smack-free pew pew. Lag was a bit of a drag, though.
- 315
-----------------------------------------------
The views expressed in my posts are my own. They do not necessarily reflect the views of my corporation. |
Diehard Si
UK1 Zero
Red Moon Federation
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Posted - 2007.07.03 17:27:00 -
[2]
i'm glad to see not everyone takes this game too seriously :D
--------------------------------------
Lets face it, people that use the word 'noob' are blatantly either 12 or with more friends on the internet than in real life! |
Pariah Eutrophius
Gallente
Thundercats
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Posted - 2007.07.03 17:31:00 -
[3]
Impressive stats, give em hell 
______________________________________________
Morals are paintings on walls and scruples is money in Russia. aight! |
Onchas Erivvia
Black Eclipse Corp
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Posted - 2007.07.03 17:35:00 -
[4]
FRAPS!!!!
------------------------------------------
"Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead!"'
Teh Onchinator'
Personal Assistant to MrsPitman
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Pepperami
Art of War
Cult of War
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Posted - 2007.07.03 17:36:00 -
[5]
I didn't expect this to be funny... but it was 
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Mebrithiel Ju'wien
Omerta Syndicate
Exuro Mortis
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Posted - 2007.07.03 17:38:00 -
[6]
 Originally by: Pepperami
I didn't expect this to be funny... but it was
qft
Good girls go to Heaven. Bad girls get drunk and pew pew in Delve Fountain... |
Chronus26
Gallente
Team Laser Explosion
Molotov Coalition
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Posted - 2007.07.03 17:44:00 -
[7]
You sir, are a modern-day hero!
-----
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Spike Spegel
Minmatar
Cutting Edge Incorporated
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Posted - 2007.07.03 17:48:00 -
[8]
PURE PWNGE!!!!
Spike out |
Dr Nightmare
D00M.
Triumvirate.
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Posted - 2007.07.03 17:49:00 -
[9]
props to you! you have done what no other alliance has done before. 
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Friday Dillinja
4S Corporation
Morsus Mihi
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Posted - 2007.07.03 17:50:00 -
[10]
You are getting better. 
------------------------------------
i found out how to edit my signature! |
NATMav
F.R.E.E. Explorer
EVE Animal Control
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Posted - 2007.07.03 17:52:00 -
[11]
Shenanigans!
Wylker and Alice Cholmondeley are my fanclub. \0/ |
EzSnake
Caldari
The Silent Rage
R0ADKILL
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Posted - 2007.07.03 17:52:00 -
[12]
what a waste of time posting this crap...get a grip dude..u will NEVER effect BOB and your lame stories are just that...lame!
________________________________________________
Next MMO |
Sacul
Wreckless Abandon
Triumvirate.
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Posted - 2007.07.03 17:52:00 -
[13]
 Brilliant. Whatever nonsense u might spew in other threads this was comedy gold mate 9/10 for sure.
p.s.
Where are the fraps of the battle of GQ2s? You must have been sweating when the "shuttle" incident happened.
The stone age didn't end because we ran out of stones!
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Setana Manoro
Gallente
Firefly Inc.
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Posted - 2007.07.03 17:53:00 -
[14]
we want fraps !
PS: Bring some Cheez-It too.
Your signature exceeds the maximum allowed dimensions of 400x120 pixels and filesize of 24000 bytes -Kreul Intentions ([email protected]) |
Attak
Trioptimum
FREGE Alliance
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Posted - 2007.07.03 17:54:00 -
[15]
+ 1 internets. I like your style.
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Ling Xiao
Prism Project Technologies
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Posted - 2007.07.03 17:54:00 -
[16]
How can you be proud of those stats that you only got by abusing exploits and dodgy game mechanics. People without honour shouldn't brag 
__________
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Elmicker
The Phoenix Rising
FreeFall Securities
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Posted - 2007.07.03 18:07:00 -
[17]
Originally by: EzSnake
what a waste of time posting this crap...get a grip dude..u will NEVER effect BOB and your lame stories are just that...lame!
lol, EzSnake.
Funny post, gave me a giggle.
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Lizhia
Gallente
Macabre Votum
INVICTUS.
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Posted - 2007.07.03 18:10:00 -
[18]
I will send you 100000 isk to replace your lost shuttle and expand your evergrowing fleet. May your battles be many and your victories grand!
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Diehard Si
UK1 Zero
Red Moon Federation
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Posted - 2007.07.03 18:16:00 -
[19]
Originally by: EzSnake
what a waste of time posting this crap...get a grip dude..u will NEVER effect BOB and your lame stories are just that...lame!
^^ this reply is almost as funny as the original thread, but for VERY different reasons. Quite tragic reasons in fact, ah bless.
--------------------------------------
Lets face it, people that use the word 'noob' are blatantly either 12 or with more friends on the internet than in real life! |
Splagada
Minmatar
Tides of Silence
Hydra Alliance
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Posted - 2007.07.03 18:19:00 -
[20]
Edited by: Splagada on 03/07/2007 18:20:09
wow, now that's merc job !
how many systems did you choose to ignore to claim as yours??
edit: and about stations? how many did you not take after all, seeing the prophecy wasnt respected, or weather was too nice etc?
------
|
Fabrice Enchante
Gallente
Active Measures
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Posted - 2007.07.03 18:30:00 -
[21]
Edited by: Fabrice Enchante on 03/07/2007 18:29:46
Proof or STFU.
================<ACTME>=======================
Solutions to problems require Active Measures. |
Kramer Verone
Amarr
TeamMX
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Posted - 2007.07.03 18:34:00 -
[22]
very refreshing and funny
your fan,
Stan
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Alpine 69
Slacker Industries
Exuro Mortis
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Posted - 2007.07.03 18:37:00 -
[23]
Your best post so far James, WTG.
Sweet love for the ones that mod my sig <3
From her? You're on. -Rauth
hubba hubba - Deckard |
Eskalin
Evolution
Band of Brothers
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Posted - 2007.07.03 18:41:00 -
[24]
you can be amusing in something other than the point and laugh way. i'm so proud
glad to see you lighten up a bit
If babies were not meant to be eaten then they wouldn't be hibachi sized.
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Tassi
Infinitus Odium
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Posted - 2007.07.03 18:48:00 -
[25]
today I have seen Eskalin cynoing stuff into my home system Maila.
This is my home system, could BoB please stay out of it? KKthx.
Next time BoB deploys their cynokessy into INFOD property we will kill you to sure death.
I wonder what "315" in the ops name stands for?
If you count the numbers its 9. 9 multiplied with 3 is 27, 27 - 4 = 23!!!!!23
OMG
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LePrince
Altera Odyssea
Tau Ceti Federation
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Posted - 2007.07.03 18:52:00 -
[26]
Rampage! Want fraps of the reprocessed shuttle 
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Takahashi Arran
coracao ardente
Triumvirate.
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Posted - 2007.07.03 19:41:00 -
[27]
i was expecting this thread to be a lame intent at comedy, instead i laughed - so well done
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Stockarian
eXceed Inc.
INVICTUS.
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Posted - 2007.07.03 19:43:00 -
[28]
Epic battle reports, I was riveted to my seat. Bravo sir. I'll sleep better at night knowing you're out there fighting the good fight.
To save time, why don't you avoid the facts and get right to the spin.
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Farham
AWE Corporation
Intrepid Crossing
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Posted - 2007.07.03 19:55:00 -
[29]
Cross checking BOB's killboard I see you "forgot" post a lost POD. What is the story behind this missing killmail or are you just trying to skew the results so far in your favor?
DO TELL SIR!
Intrepid Crossing Diplomat and All Around Major Idiot |
Dave White
coracao ardente
Triumvirate.
|
Posted - 2007.07.03 20:01:00 -
[30]
Keep it up!
Tri Killboard
Personal Killboard |
Ombrae
Altera Odyssea
Tau Ceti Federation
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Posted - 2007.07.03 20:10:00 -
[31]
Edited by: Ombrae on 03/07/2007 20:10:02
oO Impressive rampage, we sure need some lessons from you sir! Can you tell us which race shuttle you use, and what it's advantage compare to others?
Ombrae & Goramath - Altera Odyssea -
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thestonedpriest
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Posted - 2007.07.03 20:15:00 -
[32]
Edited by: thestonedpriest on 03/07/2007 20:14:24
Man, MC sure could take a few notes on this... 
crap how do I show my ticker?
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Borg017
0utbreak
|
Posted - 2007.07.03 20:20:00 -
[33]
Uh oh...watch out BE!
-----------------------------------------------
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Mhadron
HOMELESS.
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Posted - 2007.07.03 20:37:00 -
[34]
For some reason I can't stop laughing!
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Patch86
Di-Tron Heavy Industries
Atlas Alliance
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Posted - 2007.07.03 20:44:00 -
[35]
Edited by: Patch86 on 03/07/2007 20:43:46
Hehehe, you're my favourite alt troll. Very funny stuff
Originally by: thestonedpriest
crap how do I show my ticker?
On the left, under Forums, it's Settings.
--------
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Gneeznow
Minmatar
North Eastern Swat
Pandemic Legion
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Posted - 2007.07.03 21:10:00 -
[36]
lol ^-^
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Lea Re
CAPITAL TRUST
FREGE Alliance
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Posted - 2007.07.03 21:17:00 -
[37]
will there be an official statement from BNC representatives regarding such a defeat on all fronts ?
im expecting lots of resignations
gj 315 =]
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Arkanjuca
Caldari
The Edge Foundation
Zenith Affinity
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Posted - 2007.07.03 21:53:00 -
[38]
"The mercenary parody"
starring... 315, James
Produced by... YACI1MAC
There, a movie that i would pay to see
--
"he is 10^8 bigger than me, so what?"
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slip66
Black Nova Corp
Band of Brothers
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Posted - 2007.07.03 22:04:00 -
[39]
prolly the best thing you have ever brought to these forums
Originally by: StOrM ViPeR
Theres a skill called surgical strike in game I've learned that it actually stands for Band of Brothers |
Selene D'Celeste
Caldari
Einherjar Industries
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Posted - 2007.07.03 23:44:00 -
[40]
Originally by: Friday Dillinja
You are getting better.
This.
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scabbsssjr
Gallente
M'8'S
Frontal Impact
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Posted - 2007.07.03 23:58:00 -
[41]
He didn't want that shuttle anyway.
Hows energy management lvl 4 coming? I just completed lvl 5 for the third time :(
---------------------------
Originally by: Ductoris
At this rate I'm going to ask for a BOB sub-forum.
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Lasakywa
Aeden
Tau Ceti Federation
|
Posted - 2007.07.04 00:07:00 -
[42]
Quote:
THE BATTLE OF NDII-Q
June 28, 19:45 hrs.
Skill training of Energy Management III completed. Proceeded to level IV. Onward and upward.
FRAPS or STFU
No really, that was fun
|
Mr Mirage
KIA Corp
KIA Alliance
|
Posted - 2007.07.04 01:44:00 -
[43]
enjoyed the post
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Eldwinn
Royal Hiigaran Navy
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Posted - 2007.07.04 04:24:00 -
[44]
I must admit, I laughed when I read the OP. Good show James, good show.
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oodin
R.A.G.N.A.R.O.K.
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Posted - 2007.07.04 05:16:00 -
[45]
can i have your babies?
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Marko Zhang
Chargin Mah Lazors
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Posted - 2007.07.04 06:33:00 -
[46]
A most ripping victory. Here's to many more just like it!
/me hoists a nice warm mug of Bobbit blood as a toast! 
|
Chib
Rampage Eternal
Ka-Tet
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Posted - 2007.07.04 08:31:00 -
[47]
inspired comedy......you should forum war dec bbandit and we can have ourselves a dance off
---------------------------------------------
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Ackaroth
D00M.
Triumvirate.
|
Posted - 2007.07.04 08:38:00 -
[48]
Oh the hilarity!
Signature deleted for being too awesome. - Ackaroth |
Alaki Kant
Gallente
Templar Securities and Holdings
Axiom Empire
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Posted - 2007.07.04 09:23:00 -
[49]
oh please, you wouldn't have gotten either of those kills if you weren't a developer's alt.
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Iorya Dragon
coracao ardente
Triumvirate.
|
Posted - 2007.07.04 09:57:00 -
[50]
hahaha priceless
Admin of EVE RO CENTER, Romanian EVE Community |
Robin Sherwood
|
Posted - 2007.07.04 10:04:00 -
[51]
WOOT! GIVE 'EM HELL !!!
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Karim alRashid
Gallente
principle of motion
Interstellar Alcohol Conglomerate
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Posted - 2007.07.04 10:05:00 -
[52]
Dumbass forums sofwtare FTL. It's me above.
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Williamine
Amarr
Celtic Anarchy
Anarchy Empire
|
Posted - 2007.07.04 10:15:00 -
[53]
Comedy gold!!!!!
Thanks for a very good read.
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lol internets
Last Serenity
The Sundering
|
Posted - 2007.07.04 13:30:00 -
[54]
Best CAOD thread ever.
Keep it up :)
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NaNNeR HaMMeR
Destructive Influence
Band of Brothers
|
Posted - 2007.07.04 15:50:00 -
[55]
I Endorse this Thread...
NaNNeR HaMMeR moves all valuables to empire, FAR AWAY from Amarr Space, just in case we're next.
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Ivo D
Minmatar
0utbreak
|
Posted - 2007.07.04 16:02:00 -
[56]
my soul is in pain for that shuttle. oh the drama 
imhotbphofmpov you are better than MC tbqhkk10x
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Bob Clive
Beasts of Burden
YouWhat
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Posted - 2007.07.04 16:53:00 -
[57]
Originally by: Tassi
I wonder what "315" in the ops name stands for?
just a guess, James315 = james 3:15
"Such 'wisdom' does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, from the devil"
not really getting all the alt love in this thread. oh well.
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Khemical
Gallente
Supernova Security Systems
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Posted - 2007.07.04 17:24:00 -
[58]
I laughed till I stopped.
Your signature exceeds the file size specified in the forum rules. Please email [email protected] with a link to your image in case you have further questions.
-Wachtmeister |
Zammo Bahrut
Maelstrom Crew
|
Posted - 2007.07.11 00:07:00 -
[59]
Originally by: Khemical
I laughed till I stopped.
logical..
For my own sake, could we get conformation on the carrier loss? but overall a sterling job well done...
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Valandril
Caldari
Resurrection
R i s e
|
Posted - 2007.07.11 05:13:00 -
[60]
Best topic on caod from couple months :D:D
more more !
---
|
Adm Tecumseh
Caldari
Frequently Asked Questions
|
Posted - 2007.07.11 05:35:00 -
[61]
Originally by: James 315
Here's my strategy on the cold war: We win, they lose.
- Ronald Wilson Reagan
You know, if I were a single man, I might ask that mummy out. That's a good-looking mummy.
- William Jefferson Clinton
Yet Another CAOD-Inspired 1-Man Alt Corp completes another successful contract.
Yes but will you earn 1 billion isk for your funny but useless thread??
This forum trolling is bloody great fun. The goons are very kind to troll along a swell.
|
Stahlregen
GoonFleet
GoonSwarm
|
Posted - 2007.07.11 06:17:00 -
[62]
Originally by: Adm Tecumseh
Originally by: James 315
Here's my strategy on the cold war: We win, they lose.
- Ronald Wilson Reagan
You know, if I were a single man, I might ask that mummy out. That's a good-looking mummy.
- William Jefferson Clinton
Yet Another CAOD-Inspired 1-Man Alt Corp completes another successful contract.
Yes but will you earn 1 billion isk for your funny but useless thread??
This forum trolling is bloody great fun. The goons are very kind to troll along a swell.
Hold on a sec guys! I'm just a little busy over here jerking off over how awesome i am! You see, I'm not getting trolled I'M MAKING ISK lol if only you goons weren't so stupid you could also make isk WHILE getting TROLLED TOO LOL! GOONS ARE SO DUMB!
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Admiral Feelgood
Aionios Diadochi
Dark Matter Coalition
|
Posted - 2007.07.11 07:28:00 -
[63]
Originally by: Stahlregen
Hold on a sec guys! I'm just a little busy over here jerking off over how awesome i am! You see, I'm not getting trolled I'M MAKING ISK lol if only you goons weren't so stupid you could also make isk WHILE getting TROLLED TOO LOL! GOONS ARE SO DUMB!
You don't understand... he is the pUpPeT mAsTeR!!!
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Bobbeh
Destructive Influence
Band of Brothers
|
Posted - 2007.07.11 07:43:00 -
[64]
This was funny
Your signature exceeds the maximum allowed filesize of 24000 bytes -Sahwoolo Etoophie ([email protected])
BOB RADIO MANAGEMENT
http://www.bobonair.com |
Tetsujin
GoonFleet
GoonSwarm
|
Posted - 2007.07.11 09:37:00 -
[65]
Originally by: EzSnake
what a waste of time posting this crap...get a grip dude..u will NEVER effect BOB and your lame stories are just that...lame!
you're a ******* idiot and i hope you get hit by a bus jesus ******* christ
|
Lunas Feelgood
S.A.S
Cruel Intentions
|
Posted - 2007.07.11 09:46:00 -
[66]
Well atleast these stats are better then the last contract KIA had
Originally by: Shamis Orzoz
When the going gets tough...the tough join Bob.
Originally by: Shin Ra
Didn't u get the memo? Bending over is the new honorable thing to do!
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Ozstar
Naughty 40
Triumvirate.
|
Posted - 2007.07.12 07:46:00 -
[67]
Was funny :)
Originally by: Ling Xiao
People without honour shouldn't brag
People without a sense of humour shouldnt post.
---
|
Pilk
Axiom Empire
|
Posted - 2007.07.12 11:35:00 -
[68]
Originally by: Farham
Cross checking BOB's killboard I see you "forgot" post a lost POD. What is the story behind this missing killmail or are you just trying to skew the results so far in your favor?
DO TELL SIR!
YACOADI1MAC never posts their noobcorp 'dictor and scout losses, either. I've started completely ignoring their battle reports and claimed kill/loss ratios for that very reason, TBFH.
--P
Kosh: The avalanche has already started. It is too late for the pebbles to vote. |
Ikthorn Balhar
Veto.
Veto Corp
|
Posted - 2007.07.12 19:29:00 -
[69]
I find your results intriguing and I'd like to subscribe to your newsletter.
This one's for Eris |
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