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Foxy CEO
Altcenaries
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Posted - 2007.07.21 05:22:00 -
[1]
ANNOUNCEMENT
Altcenaries, an exclusive mercenary corp only allowing those with the lowest SP to enter its ranks, is open for business. We will fight any foe in empire for the cost of the dec for 1 week. Renewal is available at the same rate unless we've already been hired for the following week, in which case the client will have to pay for the Priv nerf.
Our goal is to always have two declared wars. In the event we are hired to harass and humiliate an alliance, we may restrict our fighting to 1 war for that week.
If hired, we will provide the client with
*harassment and disruption of his target's empire activities
*hauler loot from any hauler kill the client provides us intel for
*We will guard the wreck of any freighter kill the client provides us intel for until the wreck disappears, we are killed by the target, or the client loots the wreck. (we can't fly freighters)
*The satisfaction of seeing an enemy defeated by nub alts
*Fraps to memorialize the humiliation of your target, provided we remember to start rolling
Please message Foxy CEO in game (eve mail) if you are interested in hiring the Altcenaries. Our first dec will go out some time on Sunday, July 22nd.
Please see my post in Recruitment for more information about my organization.
That is all
Foxy CEO
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Eldwinn
The Tierijev Compact
Prime Orbital Systems
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Posted - 2007.07.21 06:05:00 -
[2]
I must admit. That monkey is my hero.
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Foxy CEO
Altcenaries
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Posted - 2007.07.21 06:14:00 -
[3]
I googled for monkeys with guns, then I googled for monkeys with hand grenades, then I googled for flying monkeys.
I think I am on an NSA watch list now.
NBALT Recruitment |
His Alt
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Posted - 2007.07.21 06:20:00 -
[4]
Soooo where do I sign up
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Foxy CEO
Altcenaries
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Posted - 2007.07.21 06:27:00 -
[5]
Jita 4-4.
Give me your unskilled, your poor, your podded masses yearning to fly free, the wretched refuse of your skilling shore.
Send these, the shipless, the Tempest-popped to me,
I lift my beacon beside the clogged undocking point.
NBALT Recruitment |
Barbaric Yawp
Altcenaries
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Posted - 2007.07.21 09:57:00 -
[6]
Your forum kung fu is strong.
I must join you.
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Del Narveux
Dukes of Hazard
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Posted - 2007.07.21 11:31:00 -
[7]
Outstanding. Im Del Narveux and I approve of this thread.
_________________
[SAK] Alumnus--And Proud Of It! -- aka Cpt Bogus
Is that my torped sig cloaking your base?
 Originally by: Wrangler
Well, at least we have forum PvP..
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Grimpak
Gallente
Trinity Nova
KIA Alliance
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Posted - 2007.07.21 11:46:00 -
[8]
erm....
....hi!
---
truth about EVE: Quote:
"Guns are fine, boost players"
Quote:
"Players are fine, boost guns"
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Iron Zarkasm
Gallente
Zarkastic Disease
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Posted - 2007.07.21 12:25:00 -
[9]
Originally by: Del Narveux
Outstanding. Im Del Narveux and I approve of this thread.
which really makes it soooo much better
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Sul Condbax
Open Season
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Posted - 2007.07.21 12:26:00 -
[10]
Originally by: Foxy CEO
I googled for monkeys with guns, then I googled for monkeys with hand grenades, then I googled for flying monkeys.
I think I am on an NSA watch list now.
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Mrrzah
Amarr
Word of Blake
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Posted - 2007.07.21 13:15:00 -
[11]
Lol, that's a fine Idea. I'll probably put in an app, but first I have to wait for hours to recycle an alt that isn't able to fly much of anything. 
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Foxy CEO
Altcenaries
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Posted - 2007.07.22 11:08:00 -
[12]
Who Should Hire the Altcenaries?
Because we are highly efficient in terms of the costs of our losses, we are able to pass those savings on to you, the consumer. As a result, mercenary services once only available to the elite few are now available to the masses.
Have a competitor in your market? We can help.
Invention corp undercutting your profits? We can help.
Are your 0.0 Enemies using the safety of empire to protect their logistics? We can help.
Every freighter, every industrial, every ship your competitors or enemies can AFK through empire is isk out of your pocket. If you hire us, you can impede these AFK carebear operations and decrease your opponent's efficiency, allowing you to increase your margins. Our prices are so low, you'll save money by hiring us.
Of course, spite is also a valid reason. We're equal opportunity at the Altcenaries.
We also hope to promise the highest S:K, S:SP, and S:MIGA ratios in CAOD. (That's Smack:Kill, Smack:Skill Points, Smack:Meaningful In-Game Achievement). I understand that we have quite a bit of competition in this area, but we are determined Alts and I have great confidence that we will prevail.
NBALT Recruitment |
Neesa Corrinne
Black Watch Legionnaires
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Posted - 2007.07.22 13:19:00 -
[13]
Originally by: Foxy CEO
I googled for monkeys with guns, then I googled for monkeys with hand grenades, then I googled for flying monkeys.
I think I am on an NSA watch list now.
I checked our database. You're not.
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Necronomicon
Caldari
KIA Corp
KIA Alliance
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Posted - 2007.07.22 22:32:00 -
[14]
I fully endorse these (dodgy) products and/or (scarilly funny) services.
Hire these guys, I want to see a freigther frapsed going down in flames to a thousand Velators :D
Carlsberg dont make Eve Pilots, but if they did, i wouldnt be one of them.
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Barry Uhmenema
Caldari
Altcenaries
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Posted - 2007.07.25 04:02:00 -
[15]
First night of the war, and we have them pinned down! Woot.
We camped one of the two gates just outside their HQ, but they were too chicken to come out. Their shields would have fallen quickly to my onslaught of 75mm rails!
I have a feeling this first war will be over quickly! Any new contracts, please contact us.
F1, F2, F3... why am I back at my home station?
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