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Lord Evangelian
Gallente
LEAP Logistics
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Posted - 2007.09.04 00:17:00 -
[1]
Imagine if some situations that happened in EVE happened in real life lol...
1. Your chatting away with a group of friends when suddenly one of them starts to shout at you for no reason. He then stops and composes himself and excuses himself with "sorry shout lock..."
2. You are driving down the road and you get caught at the traffic lights. They turn green and you try to move off. Suddenly a message appears saying session change in progess. Then next thign you know you have dissapeared and apeared half way up the road in a field. (Warp off on jump in bug).
3. You are walkin down a lit street and deside to take a short cut through the dark alley. You rush through the entrace. as you enter the darkness you notice 3 men 2 skinny men (interceptors) and a fat guy (Battleship), they have put glue all over the floor (bubble) and deside to jump on you as you walk in.
4. You are typing away in the office and some one comes up to you and takes all yoru paper. You try to defend it by waving your arms around frantically but he is too fast in holding you down. Soon his friend walks over to you and takes all the paper away. Damn Paper theives...
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Hit me
5...
6....
7.....
8......
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cal nereus
Bounty Hunter - Dark Legion
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Posted - 2007.09.04 00:21:00 -
[2]
 Nice
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Captain Podkiller
Federal Navy Academy
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Posted - 2007.09.04 00:23:00 -
[3]
5. Your surfing the EVE forums and someone makes a stupid thread.
His corp gets war dec'd.
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Lord Evangelian
Gallente
LEAP Logistics
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Posted - 2007.09.04 00:29:00 -
[4]
Edited by: Lord Evangelian on 04/09/2007 00:30:01
 Originally by: Captain Podkiller
5. Your surfing the EVE forums and someone makes a stupid thread.
His corp gets war dec'd.
Can I ask the reason for this war deccing?
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cal nereus
Bounty Hunter - Dark Legion
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Posted - 2007.09.04 00:32:00 -
[5]
Probably because it is amusing.
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tartrus
Galactech Industries Ltd.
Freelancer Alliance
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Posted - 2007.09.04 00:38:00 -
[6]
or sitting at the trafic lights they go green u start to move according to u, u hav moved off.... but nope u hav decync u told ya car togo but nope peeps r beeping at u to move and they get out and bash u while ur not there :(
"HEY! Lee were is that t2 duct tape mate my vaga's in hull" |
Lord Evangelian
Gallente
LEAP Logistics
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Posted - 2007.09.04 00:41:00 -
[7]
Originally by: cal nereus
Probably because it is amusing.
ok! 
Lol Desync
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Elipsis
Gallente
The Mission Guys
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Posted - 2007.09.04 01:04:00 -
[8]
Whatever number we're on)
-You crash your compact car at 70 mph head on into a much larger vehicle, a tractor trailer. Your vehicle goes shooting off undamaged in the opposite direction at around 200 mph, you are not injured.
-...
CEO and Founder of the Mission Guys |
Shinithra
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Posted - 2007.09.04 01:18:00 -
[9]
Number next:
You steal a car, get chased by the cops, crash it, get arrested and the insurance company still pays you!
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Nadjar
rotten rogues
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Posted - 2007.09.04 01:28:00 -
[10]
You get brutally murdered but wake up in hospital with a reduced IQ because you didn't have the proper medical insurance.
_____________
No sig here, move along. |
tartrus
Galactech Industries Ltd.
Freelancer Alliance
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Posted - 2007.09.04 01:34:00 -
[11]
Originally by: Nadjar
You get brutally murdered but wake up in hospital with a reduced IQ because you didn't have the proper medical insurance.
hahah gold :D
"HEY! Lee were is that t2 duct tape mate my vaga's in hull" |
Tortun Nahme
Minmatar
Heimatar Services Conglomerate
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Posted - 2007.09.04 01:36:00 -
[12]
you go home to change your shirt, but your wife wont let you out again for 30 seconds for the shirt to settle
Why there should be a breathalyzer to login to Eve-Forums:
Quote:
Smacking my own alt in a nerf-thread while drunk, he was irritating a Hauler full of tech II n00bs, Oops.
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Stakhanov
Katana's Edge
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Posted - 2007.09.04 01:55:00 -
[13]
The most feared lone criminals are sprinters who pepper spray their victims to reduce their vision and run in circles around them out of arms range.
Originally by: Cipher7
If you manage to get baited, what's your skill, being a good victim?
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Vele Nori
Amarr
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Posted - 2007.09.04 03:35:00 -
[14]
You like to stroll along cemeteries collecting corpses on your way. Your friends chuckle when you tell them about this hobby, but do not tell you it is weird or wrong.
The people living two blocks down decided to declare war on your block just because it is fun. Meanwhile police sits in coffee shops, nibbles on doughnuts, and watches through glass windows and you run around trying to kill each other.
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Joskken Inx
PURE Legion
Pure.
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Posted - 2007.09.04 03:43:00 -
[15]
You notice a guy in front of a change machine. He constantly puts in a dollar bill, and scoops up the quarters.
Over and over and over. And over.
You call the cops but they say there's no crime in changing out dollar bills for quarters.
You try to approach him but he always seems to disappear when you get near him.
Worse yet, you notice that at every change machine in a dark corner, there's some guy standing there changing out his bills for quarters.
The few that don't disappear you have a tough time handling, as some similar-dressed chap comes up and helps fight you off. And better each time.
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Captain Podkiller
Federal Navy Academy
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Posted - 2007.09.04 14:32:00 -
[16]
Originally by: Lord Evangelian
Edited by: Lord Evangelian on 04/09/2007 00:30:01
Originally by: Captain Podkiller
5. Your surfing the EVE forums and someone makes a stupid thread.
His corp gets war dec'd.
Can I ask the reason for this war deccing?
Because I got out of bed the wrong side this morning
You can expect a War dec from the Federal Navy Academy in the next few minutes, we have hundreds of pilots waiting for you outside Jita 4 4, be afraid 
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Banana Torres
The Green Banana Corporation
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Posted - 2007.09.04 15:30:00 -
[17]
Originally by: Lord Evangelian
3. You are walkin down a lit street and deside to take a short cut through the dark alley. You rush through the entrace. as you enter the darkness you notice 3 men 2 skinny men (interceptors) and a fat guy (Battleship), they have put glue all over the floor (bubble) and deside to jump on you as you walk in.
Ah, but I have on my spiffy new nike trainers (nano-boatie) and run past them.
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SiJira
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Posted - 2007.09.04 15:42:00 -
[18]
i support this thread
____ __ ________
_sig below_
devs and gms cant modify my sig if they tried!
_lies above_
CCP Morpheus was here 
Morpheus Fails. You need colors!! -Kaemonn
[yellow]Kaem |
Stefx
Gallente
Moons of Pluto
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Posted - 2007.09.04 16:27:00 -
[19]
Edited by: Stefx on 04/09/2007 16:28:55
Edited by: Stefx on 04/09/2007 16:27:55
Edited by: Stefx on 04/09/2007 16:27:36
Your neighbor piisses you off. You walk to the local police station, pay a ridiculously small fee, and 24h later you go beat your neighbor up while the police watch and do nothing.
You go to work with your pick axe, you start chipping rocks, and you notice a dozen robots doing the same thing a few hundred yards away
You are mining ore in your Exhumer ship, you're bored to death so you log on the galactnet and try this new game called "2007" where you play the role of a person who goes to work eight hours a day to earn a salary and raise a family.
You are the captain of a huge transport navy ship and you can empty the 27 500 m3 cargo in 0.1s. However, to get out of your car and go into your 2nd car right next to it, it takes 30 seconds.
You are at an intersection in front of a building. You want to go park your car on the other side of the building, but your car keeps wiggling left and right at 0.01 km/h trying to go around the building
You are moving into a new house. Cops are sitting close by. Some stranger walks over, takes your TV from your moving truck and puts it in his truck. You take your TV and put it back in your truck. He kills you while the cops are watching and do nothing.
A vampire bites your neck and tries to suck your blood but finds out your body blood percentage is higher than his, so he sucks without success.
You're in a huge store called JitaMart and when people leave the store they just stand idle at the exit. People pile up one over another.
You walk out of a store. You see cops in a car nearby. You see a box on the sidewalk that says "free ammo - take it" . You open the box and take one item. Some stranger kills you while the cops are looking and do nothing.
A tough guy called Scius is walking in Harlem. He walks through 12 huge guys that look mean and gets beat up.
Scius goes to the local clinic, fills his pocket with billions of dollars, puts boots that weigh 50 pounds each, ties his arms behind his back. He calls his friends in New Zealand to come over and help him in 3 minutes. His friends tell him not to do that. Scius walks out of the clinic with his 50 pound boots, his arms tied behind his back and billions of dollars in his pocket and goes back to the tough gang to defend his honor.
He gets beat up again. Scius tells his friends they suck for not helping him and breaks up with his friends.
We're all fans of a game which is never mentioned on TV. Some fans of the game create this amateur TV channel so we can watch our game on TV. The channel is actually very good for an amateur channel, but tons of fans complain about the crew's appearance, accent, knowledge.
We're in a city in which the first JitaMart gets built. The JitaMart is overcrowded, and filled with people that keep complaining it's overcrowded (but they keep going again and again)
You're a miner. You have a 5m3 pick axe. You put a special crystal on the end of the pick axe to improve its sharpness. The crystal size is 50m3. Strange...
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Twilight Interloper
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Posted - 2007.09.04 16:41:00 -
[20]
LOLBOTZ @ stefx
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MITSUK0
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Posted - 2007.09.04 16:45:00 -
[21]
Originally by: Stakhanov
The most feared lone criminals are sprinters who pepper spray their victims to reduce their vision and run in circles around them out of arms range.
lols
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Stefx
Gallente
Moons of Pluto
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Posted - 2007.09.04 16:55:00 -
[22]
Edited by: Stefx on 04/09/2007 16:55:55
Edited by: Stefx on 04/09/2007 16:55:27
You're a 100m sprinter at the olympics
Everybody lines up at the start line. The referee counts down 10, 9, 8.... 3, 2, 1, STOP... and confuses a lot of people.
You're a hockey team in the NHL playoffs. You lose a game by forfeit because your team had 7 players on the ice.
You're a NFL team (the Atlanta Derekers) in a turnament, and one of your linemen wearing underwear weighs 500 pounds and runs towards the other team while letting out huge stinky faarts. Everybody is amused.
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Heartcarver
X Bane X
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Posted - 2007.09.04 17:38:00 -
[23]
Originally by: Nadjar
You get brutally murdered but wake up in hospital with a reduced IQ because you didn't have the proper medical insurance.
This post is the win post so far lol
"The point of war isn't to die for your country, it's to make the other bastard die for his" |
Aries Acheron
Coreli Corporation
Exuro Mortis
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Posted - 2007.09.04 22:08:00 -
[24]
I wrote a series of stories about RL eve a year back. Click the 'Survive Eve' link in my sig for them.
~~~
Survive Eve!
Eve Tribune
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Maglorre
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Posted - 2007.09.05 00:37:00 -
[25]
Originally by: Stefx
A vampire bites your neck and tries to suck your blood but finds out your body blood percentage is lower than his, so he sucks without success.
Thanks for those, funny as (even though this one was wrong )
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Stefx
Gallente
Moons of Pluto
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Posted - 2007.09.05 00:54:00 -
[26]
Yep you're right
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Lord XSiV
Amarr
Digital Research - Omega Protocol
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Posted - 2007.09.05 01:02:00 -
[27]
I don't think they would let me bring a 220mm autocannon and smartbombs to work.
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The Frozen
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Posted - 2007.09.05 02:09:00 -
[28]
Edited by: The Frozen on 05/09/2007 02:11:15
This thread delivers keep it up :)
This one is not mine, I saw it a while (looong time) back in a not dissimilar thread, think it was called "You know you been playing EVE for too long when....." :-
It's the morning, You're sat in the canteen eating your breakfast, when all of a sudden someone grabs your boiled egg and slams it into the floor screaming "PODDED!"
These, sadly, are mine...
You leave your brand new car parked in your driveway overnight, only to find the next morning that someone's bumped it through the gate and nicked it.
Due to public outrage the Government issues the chicken population with free knives. Foxes in the meantime have bought guns.
You're in the bar with your mates, one of the guys tells a joke.. It's really funny. You get up to order the next round and discover your arse has fallen off.
You stand at the end of an escalator everytime someone comes to step off you smack em in the leg with a big stick and nick their stuff.
You accidently bump into someone in the street and they drop their shopping breaking what they've purchased. They nail ú50 to your forehead and scream "I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE"
You're hiding behind a big bush in the park, everytime someone passes by you leap out and uncloa... err..
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Terminal Entry
New Fnord Industries
Black Scope Project
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Posted - 2007.09.05 03:38:00 -
[29]
(Action! Suspense! Jita!) The Memoirs of a RL EVE Survivor... 
Originally by: CCP kieron
If you feel we as an entity are corrupt and abhorrent, we bid you good luck in finding a game and company that suits your interests.
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DubanFP
Caldari
Four Rings
D-L
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Posted - 2007.09.05 03:49:00 -
[30]
Originally by: Heartcarver
Originally by: Nadjar
You get brutally murdered but wake up in hospital with a reduced IQ because you didn't have the proper medical insurance.
This post is the win post so far lol
Funny, but i still like
Originally by: Stefx
We're in a city in which the first JitaMart gets built. The JitaMart is overcrowded, and filled with people that keep complaining it's overcrowded (but they keep going again and again)
___________
Desolacer> Who the heck gives YOU the right to ruin it for others buy blowing them up.
Zaqar> CCP |
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