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hellhathnofury	Posted - 2007.09.23 21:18:00 - [1] OK, I have a problem. I'm 25, a guy (to remove any ambiguity) and, here's the problem, single. For the last year and a half I've been working very closely with a girl since the second year of Uni and continue to do so. I graduated this summer and we're looking for a job (the business I'm in means we apply for these jobs together). I'll be honest, for a long time I really wanted something to happen with this girl. It never did. I'm over that bit thankfully and looking to meet new...well friends, and in particular, girls. There's a couple of problems. The first is that my life is based in London but I'm currently living with my parents in Essex (90 odd miles away). As you can imagine, this plays havoc with your social life. This situation is unlikely to change until I get a job, which could take months or even longer due to this particular industry being hard to break into. The result is that on any given evening I can't get home unless I catch the last train home from the station at 12:50am. Also, I was very, very good friends with this girl and for a while it was all I needed. As such, and as a result of our subject being extremely demanding time wise, I made the mistake of not getting to know the other people in my college year very well and not building on the friendships I made in the first year. I'm now left with a very small group of close friends. What I'm after is peoples' suggestions on how I could go about making new friends with other people my age with similar interests and equally important to find a hot babe to go out with. I'm just finding it really difficult to work out how I can do this when the few people I'm currently good friends with don't actually share many of those interests. I thought it would be useful to list some of those interests which includes live indy/rock music, live classical music, films, anime, books, going to art galleries/museums, part time acting, playing guitar (learning)...erm, Eve...and more! I'm not traditionally the most outgoing person on the planet when I'm meeting new people, but I'm working on this. If anyone has any suggestions I would really appreciate it.
Sereifex Daku Delictum 23216	Posted - 2007.09.23 21:34:00 - [2] Join a small time theatre group on weekends? Go to gigs on weekends?
An Anarchyyt Gallente Sublime.	Posted - 2007.09.23 21:38:00 - [3] You pretty much named what you should do. You can meet people in some sort of theater group, gallery openings, shows (gigs), going to Eve gatherings in London. Etc etc. Originally by: CCP Wrangler Second, a gentile is a non jewish person
Derovius Vaden	Posted - 2007.09.23 21:39:00 - [4] You can do one of two things: 1. Risk ruining one of your few friendships to make one something more, but if successful, one of the strongest intimate relationships. 2. Do nothing, make more friends, and end up like you are just years down the road. To be quite blunt, you have a perfect opportunity here with your female-friend. You can either take advantage of it and see where it goes, or do nothing with it like you've been doing and nothing will happen. More friends is not as important as the quality of friends, quite frankly.
Mtthias Clemi Gallente Infinitus Odium The Church.	Posted - 2007.09.23 21:59:00 - [5] Over there! they escaped the cages!! GET THEMM!!! loads tranquilizer gun -------------------------------------------- Stay away from my signature all of ya!!! IM WARNING YOU!! PEW PEW PEW PEW!
Lunaticdie04 Pilots Of Honour	Posted - 2007.09.23 21:59:00 - [6] Originally by: Derovius Vaden More friends is not as important as the quality of friends, quite frankly. QFT. Also why tf are so many people asking about finding gf/bf/socialising in general on an internet gaming forums. We're geeks, how the fudge are we supposed to know the answers to those? My sig got nerfed :( When will it all end?
Sister Impotentata Caldari State War Academy	Posted - 2007.09.23 22:09:00 - [7] See, now this is why we can't have nice things. For the last time, There Are No Girls on Internets! Now knock it off before the mods lock this. ----- TANSTAAFL When I engage these coils normally I do about 2x10^6 dps. But I try to avoid that because people, entire populations, like die. So I try to keep it to about 4x10^3 dps.
Leora Nomen	Posted - 2007.09.23 22:33:00 - [8] Generally people meet where - parties, work, bars and clubs, through existing friends, church, hobby groups, random internet dating. You simply have to make time and place to meet new people. I don't know how it works in UK, but in USA people also go to grad school in their mid-20s, so they are working in this place full of students, dating, people in their own age bracket in general. guide to game time codes
Thanos Draicon	Posted - 2007.09.23 23:07:00 - [9] Originally by: Derovius Vaden You can do one of two things: 1. Risk ruining one of your few friendships to make one something more, but if successful, one of the strongest intimate relationships. 2. Do nothing, make more friends, and end up like you are just years down the road. To be quite blunt, you have a perfect opportunity here with your female-friend. You can either take advantage of it and see where it goes, or do nothing with it like you've been doing and nothing will happen. More friends is not as important as the quality of friends, quite frankly. QTF. A friend of mine recently married the girl he was friends with 3 years before they started going out.
hellhathnofury	Posted - 2007.09.24 00:48:00 - [10] Thanks to all so far. The theatre group I think is probably one of the best ideas, thanks Sereifex and Anarchyyt. I might look up to see what's on offer for weekend courses. The problem with gigs is I often find myself going to them on my own because my friends either aren't into the band or aren't into gigs. And secondly, especially on my own, I just feel weird with the thought of going up to people (who are always with a group of friends) and starting chatting. Maybe it's a fear I just need to get over. Originally by: Derovius Vaden To be quite blunt, you have a perfect opportunity here with your female-friend. You can either take advantage of it and see where it goes, or do nothing with it like you've been doing and nothing will happen. Honestly, it's not been for lack of trying. There were several occasions where I told her exactly how I felt. I've been told different things at different times ranging from "I don't feel about you that way" to "I don't know how I feel". The complication had always been a long term boyfriend on her side, they had been together since before we met but broke up a few weeks ago. There were other guys on the scene towards the end of that relationship and she's seeing one now. So frankly I've had enough of wasting my time waiting and I'm seeing what else is out there. I think for now it's the right thing but I appreciate what you're saying and will never say never. Originally by: Derovius Vaden More friends is not as important as the quality of friends, quite frankly. I couldn't agree more. I could just do with a few more good ones. Originally by: Lunaticdie04 Also why tf are so many people asking about finding gf/bf/socialising in general on an internet gaming forums. We're geeks, how the fudge are we supposed to know the answers to those? Because as much as people like to portray they are sad internet geeks pew-pewing each others space pixels, I've noticed that a lot of the guys (and girls) here actually do actually have some grasp of this 'life' thing and have good advice to give Originally by: Sister Impotentata See, now this is why we can't have nice things. For the last time, There Are No Girls on Internets! Now knock it off before the mods lock this. You may be right about them Internets girlz but my mates, brothers, dogs husband-in-law reckons he saw one on the 'street' the other day, whatever one of those is. Thanks also Leora. The problem has been most of those aren't available right now and college is all over and done with, not looking to get back into education for a while at least. I think some of the suggestions here are great though. Thanks.
Captain Hudson Caldari Intergalactic Space Defense Force	Posted - 2007.09.24 00:52:00 - [11] Originally by: Lunaticdie04 Originally by: Derovius Vaden More friends is not as important as the quality of friends, quite frankly. QFT. Also why tf are so many people asking about finding gf/bf/socialising in general on an internet gaming forums. We're geeks, how the fudge are we supposed to know the answers to those? speak for yourself Why We Rule
mamolian M. Corp M. PIRE	Posted - 2007.09.24 02:10:00 - [12] Isnt there some sort of personals websites where you can chat online with people and arrange dates and more etc -------------------------------
Arron S Gallente Rampage Eternal Ka-Tet	Posted - 2007.09.24 02:33:00 - [13] Edited by: Arron S on 24/09/2007 02:34:13 Booo whooo booooooo whooooo... emo If I made this post, everyone would call me an emo.
Daelorn State War Academy	Posted - 2007.09.24 02:43:00 - [14] Edited by: Daelorn on 24/09/2007 02:45:30 Originally by: Arron S Edited by: Arron S on 24/09/2007 02:34:13 Booo whooo booooooo whooooo... emo If I made this post, everyone would call me an emo. You emo. Originally by: Captain Hudson Originally by: Lunaticdie04 Originally by: Derovius Vaden More friends is not as important as the quality of friends, quite frankly. QFT. Also why tf are so many people asking about finding gf/bf/socialising in general on an internet gaming forums. We're geeks, how the fudge are we supposed to know the answers to those? speak for yourself Seconded
Arron S Gallente Rampage Eternal Ka-Tet	Posted - 2007.09.24 02:45:00 - [15] Originally by: Daelorn Originally by: Arron S Edited by: Arron S on 24/09/2007 02:34:13 Booo whooo booooooo whooooo... emo If I made this post, everyone would call me an emo. You emo. **** you and your main charater you flithy alt
Daelorn State War Academy	Posted - 2007.09.24 02:46:00 - [16] Edited by: Daelorn on 24/09/2007 02:47:05 Originally by: Arron S Originally by: Daelorn Originally by: Arron S Edited by: Arron S on 24/09/2007 02:34:13 Booo whooo booooooo whooooo... emo If I made this post, everyone would call me an emo. You emo. **** you and your main charater you flithy alt Buhu
Thorliaron	Posted - 2007.09.24 02:47:00 - [17] Originally by: Arron S Edited by: Arron S on 24/09/2007 02:34:13 Booo whooo booooooo whooooo... emo If I made this post, everyone would call me an emo. emo
Micheal Dietrich Cynical Cartel	Posted - 2007.09.24 02:52:00 - [18] Originally by: Arron S Edited by: Arron S on 24/09/2007 02:34:13 Booo whooo booooooo whooooo... emo If I made this post, everyone would call me an emo. Because you are Originally by: Hell Honestly, it's not been for lack of trying. There were several occasions where I told her exactly how I felt. I've been told different things at different times ranging from "I don't feel about you that way" to "I don't know how I feel". The complication had always been a long term boyfriend on her side, they had been together since before we met but broke up a few weeks ago. There were other guys on the scene towards the end of that relationship and she's seeing one now. So frankly I've had enough of wasting my time waiting and I'm seeing what else is out there. I think for now it's the right thing but I appreciate what you're saying and will never say never. I made that mistake once. Wasted 4 years of my life and passed up many oppurtunities to be with this one gal. Took me 4 years to figure out she wasn't worth it. Took me another year to figure out the nice guy look isn't what women want after trying to play knight in shining armor and getting stabbed for another chick. I'm kind of a bitter biased guy now. In fact don't listen to me. I gotta go. ___________________________ Never Forget, Never Forgive
Arron S Gallente Rampage Eternal Ka-Tet	Posted - 2007.09.24 02:53:00 - [19] ****
Sharupak Minmatar Knights Of the Black Sun Rule of Three	Posted - 2007.09.24 03:12:00 - [20] You gotsa get out of the house. You can still live in essex, but you need to live at night and sleep during the day. 2nd shift means you need to get up 3:00pm and go to bed at 6:00am. If there isnt any transportation after 12:50, then you need to bar hop in essex. or If you are a relationship guy, do something like eharmony/uk. Meet the girl and then adjust your sleep schedule to go out and do stuff. Of course idk are there any hotties on internet dating sites? _______________________________________________ RuntimeError: ChainEvent is blocking by design, but you're block trapped. You have'll have to find some alternative means to do Your Thing, dude.
Jago Kain Amarr Ramm's RDI	Posted - 2007.09.24 03:23:00 - [21] Edited by: Jago Kain on 24/09/2007 03:24:46 Originally by: Arron S Edited by: Arron S on 24/09/2007 02:34:13 Booo whooo booooooo whooooo... emo If I made this post, everyone would call me an emo. You are an emo... now be quiet and go sit in your corner contemplating the cruel twists of fate that balk your every effort. As for the OP, if you're lonely, do what everyone else in Essex with the same problem does... join the Manchester United supporters club. The next revolution won't be televised; it'll be pod-cast.
Micheal Dietrich Cynical Cartel	Posted - 2007.09.24 04:13:00 - [22] Originally by: Jago Kain Edited by: Jago Kain on 24/09/2007 03:24:46 Originally by: Arron S Edited by: Arron S on 24/09/2007 02:34:13 Booo whooo booooooo whooooo... emo If I made this post, everyone would call me an emo. You are an emo... now be quiet and go sit in your corner contemplating the cruel twists of fate that balk your every effort. As for the OP, if you're lonely, do what everyone else in Essex with the same problem does... join the Manchester United supporters club. And I thought all this time lonely people just **********d... ___________________________ Never Forget, Never Forgive
Surfin's PlunderBunny Minmatar Sicarri Covenant	Posted - 2007.09.24 04:45:00 - [23] Manchester United sucks!!!! Arsenal FTW!!! /ducks Originally by: Liz Kali Tic Toc Tic Toc , time is ticking Originally by: TheDagda click For the love of the jovians stops necroing
Liu Kaskakka PAK	Posted - 2007.09.24 05:44:00 - [24] Tried a call girl? King Liu is RIGHT!!
Boonaki Caldari Knights of Chaos Chaos Incarnate.	Posted - 2007.09.24 08:03:00 - [25] Originally by: Liu Kaskakka Tried a call girl? Go to Amsterdam. Fear the Ibis of doom! 113
Krulla Minmatar Miner Protection Guild	Posted - 2007.09.24 08:40:00 - [26] Edited by: Krulla on 24/09/2007 08:40:28 Well, I haven't much advice to give you buddy, but I'll share what I can. Don't ever go out to some sort of social gathering (gig/show, party, whatever) with just the intention of hooking up with girls. It doesn't work and means you won't have a very good time, and will in fact mean that you likely won't find your chick. Just go out for it's own sake, and have fun among other people. If you meet someone you like, don't go out of your way to get into her pants, just be yourself, talk to her, and if it's a relationship you're looking for, then that's what will help you find someone compatible.
ry ry StateCorp The State	Posted - 2007.09.24 09:09:00 - [27] its because you play computer games on the internet. MMORPGs aren't so much a hobby, as a contraceptive.
Sir Heavy Dragonian Freelancers Academy	Posted - 2007.09.24 09:32:00 - [28] Reserved to be on page 1, i'll respond when I got a bit more time.
Snugglebunny Fluffkins	Posted - 2007.09.24 10:10:00 - [29] Why does your social life have to revolve around London? Ok, a lot of your existing friends may be there, but if you currently live in Essex sure it would be just as easy to make new friends around there as well. Plus if they live closer its easier to meet up so things tend to work out better in my experience. Find something you enjoy, and go do it. Like someone else said, don't do it with only the intention of pulling someone, as it can be kind of obvious and will make people avoid you, which is the opposite of what you really want. :) Put it this way, for two years I went out on the pull, hoping to meet someone, and nothing, not even a brief fling (oh wait, there was the time.... :P ), but the moment I decided being single wasn't that bad, and it worked out a damn site cheaper, through a random encounter I met my (now) husband. Maybe it was because I was more relaxed, acting more like my normal self than being all "Look at my sexiness!". You said the girl in question has just split up with her long time boyfriend, so let me be the first to give you the advice DON'T try anything with her at this moment in time. Rebound is a bad thing, and can end up hurting both of you. Give her time to get over the heartbreak, get her feelings sorted out and be there for her as a friend. If you can do that then she may begin to see you as the nice person you are. Again personal experience, I split up with an ex I had been seeing for 3 years and a male friend of mine decided we would make a good couple, despite me telling him I wasn't ready. It didn't end well. As for going to concerts that you think other people won't be into, just ask. You might find people are quite willing to go and see a band they may not normally like just for the experience, especially if you return the favor. Friendships all about a bit of give and take anyway isn't it. Anyway, I'll shut up now. Hope what I said may be of some help.
Betonela	Posted - 2007.09.24 10:14:00 - [30] imo hellhathnofury u need to get some "skill" search for real social dynamics

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