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bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2007.10.23 20:48:00 - [1] Hi :) We are an pure 0.0 corp We want pilots that are looking for a permanent corporation, dedicated players, good friends and have a positive attitude and like to pvp for fun We offer: * A ship building team * Regular pvp ops Alliance Killboard, Corp Killboard * Carrier jumps for getting stuff in and out from Empire to our 0.0 base * Ammo, T1/selected named modules are free and we do our best to supply t2 stuff cheaply * Fully 0.0 based EU/US-timezone corp/alliance, voice servers and corp forums We have a lot of great people that work together as friends and family. This is definitely one of our best selling points :) Please join our public in-game channel "Therings" for more info ------------------------- (Our Forums)
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2007.10.24 20:44:00 - [2] Daly bumb ------------------------- (Our Forums)
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2007.10.26 16:35:00 - [3] Blue bum"p"s the tread ------------------------- (Our Forums)
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2007.10.27 16:55:00 - [4] 4 (four) is a number, numeral, and glyph. It is the natural number following 3 and preceding 5. Four is the only number in the English language for which the number of letters in its name is equal to the number itself. This is also true in several other languages ------------------------- (Our Forums)
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2007.10.28 17:07:00 - [5] Four is a 16oz canned alcoholic malt beverage sold in the United States. It contains 6.0%ABV as well as carbonation, sugar and artificial flavoring, similar to other alcopops. Its name is derived from its four other ingredients, caffeine, taurine, guarana, and FDA approved wormwood oil, the species of which is unknown ------------------------- (Our Forums)
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2007.10.29 18:18:00 - [6] The phalanx (plural phalanxes or phalanges) is a rectangular mass military formation, usually composed entirely of heavy infantry armed with spears, pikes, or similar weapons. The troops were disciplined to hold a line which created a nearly impenetrable forest of points to the front. The phalanx is a hallmark of ancient Greek warfare. The word phalanx is derived from the Greek word phalangos, meaning the finger. ------------------------- (Our Forums)
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2007.10.30 18:53:00 - [7] Edited by: bluecheast on 30/10/2007 18:53:37 The term blue may refer to any of a number of similar colours. The sensation of blue is made by light having a spectrum dominated by energy in the wavelength range of about 440û490 nm. Blue is considered to be one of the three primary additive colours in the RGB system; blue light has the shortest wavelength range of the three additive primary colours. The English language commonly uses "blue" to refer to any colour from navy blue to cyan. The complementary colour of blue in colour science is yellow (on the HSV colour wheel), while in art the complementary colour to blue is considered to be orange (based on the Munsell colour wheel). Contents ------------------------- (Our Forums)
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2007.10.31 20:34:00 - [8] Player versus player, or PvP, is competitive interaction within a game between two live participants. This is in contrast to games where players compete against computer controlled opponent, which is similarly referred to as Player versus environment (PvE) or player versus monster (PvM). PvP is a type of combat in MMORPGs, MUDs and other computer role-playing games (CRPGs), pitting one player's 'skill' against another's. PvP can be broadly used to describe any game, or aspect of a game, where players compete against each other. This can include entire gaming genres, such as first-person shooters or real-time strategy games, or can be limited to an optional part of an otherwise PvE game. In computer role-playing games, PvP is often called player killing or PKing, especially in cases where the combat was not consensual. The term PvP, and to a lesser extent PKing, has also been adopted in discussions about traditional role-playing games and live-action gaming, with approximately the same meaning ------------------------- (Our Forums)
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2007.11.01 21:32:00 - [9] In linear algebra, the permanent of an n-by-n matrix A = (ai,j) is defined as ------------------------- (Our Forums)
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2007.11.02 23:31:00 - [10] An alliance is an agreement between two or more parties, made in order to advance common goals and to secure common interests ------------------------- (Our Forums)

bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2007.11.05 16:56:00 - [11] The earliest known depiction of a phalanx-like formation occurs in a Sumerian stele from 2450 BC. Here the troops seem to have been equipped with spears, helmets, and large shields covering the whole body. Ancient Egyptian infantry were known to have employed similar formations. Historians have not arrived at a consensus about the relationship between the Greek formation and these predecessors. The principles of shield wall and spear hedge were almost universally known among the armies of major civilizations throughout history, and so the similarities may be due to convergent evolution instead of diffusion. Some historians and authorities date the formation of the hoplite phalanx of ancient Greece to the 8th century BC in Sparta, but this is being revised. It is more likely that the formation was devised in the 7th century BC after the introduction of the hoplon (a shield also known as the Aspis) by the city of Argos, which would have made the formation possible. ------------------------- (Our Forums)
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2007.11.06 22:48:00 - [12] Recreation or fun is the use of time in a manner designed for therapeutic refreshment of one's body or mind. While leisure is more likely a form of entertainment or rest, recreation is active for the participant but in a refreshing and diverting manner. As people in the world's wealthier regions lead increasingly sedentary life styles, the need for recreation has increased. The rise of so called active vacations exemplifies this. ------------------------- (Our Forums)
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2007.11.07 16:56:00 - [13] A scorpion and a frog meet on the bank of a stream and the scorpion asks the frog to carry him across on its back. The frog asks, "How do I know you won't sting me?" The scorpion says, "Because if I do, I will die too." The frog is satisfied, and they set out, but in midstream, the scorpion stings the frog. The frog feels the onset of paralysis and starts to sink, knowing they both will drown, but has just enough time to gasp "Why?" Replies the scorpion: "Its my nature..." ------------------------- (Our Forums)
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2007.11.08 20:46:00 - [14] War is a cowardly escape from the problems of peace ------------------------- (Our Forums)
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2007.11.09 21:51:00 - [15] If you chase two rabbits, both will escape ------------------------- (Our Forums)
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2007.11.10 18:59:00 - [16] THE SWALLOW and the Crow had a contention about their plumage. The Crow put an end to the dispute by saying, "Your feathers are all very well in the spring, but mine protect me against the winter." ------------------------- (Our Forums)
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2007.11.11 19:44:00 - [17] AN ANT went to the bank of a river to quench its thirst, and being carried away by the rush of the stream, was on the point of drowning. A Dove sitting on a tree overhanging the water plucked a leaf and let it fall into the stream close to her. The Ant climbed onto it and floated in safety to the bank. Shortly afterwards a bird catcher came and stood under the tree, and laid his lime-twigs for the Dove, which sat in the branches. The Ant, perceiving his design, stung him in the foot. In pain the bird catcher threw down the twigs, and the noise made the Dove take wing ------------------------- (Our Forums)
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2007.11.12 21:41:00 - [18] A MAN came into a forest and asked the Trees to provide him a handle for his axe. The Trees consented to his request and gave him a young ash-tree. No sooner had the man fitted a new handle to his axe from it, than he began to use it and quickly felled with his strokes the noblest giants of the forest. An old oak, lamenting when too late the destruction of his companions, said to a neighboring cedar, "The first step has lost us all. If we had not given up the rights of the ash, we might yet have retained our own privileges and have stood for ages ------------------------- (Our Forums)
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2007.11.13 18:21:00 - [19] AN EAGLE stayed his flight and entreated a Lion to make an alliance with him to their mutual advantage. The Lion replied, "I have no objection, but you must excuse me for requiring you to find surety for your good faith, for how can I trust anyone as a friend who is able to fly away from his bargain whenever he pleases? ------------------------- (Our Forums)
bluecheast Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2007.11.14 16:48:00 - [20] Edited by: bluecheast on 14/11/2007 16:49:23 Have you heard the story "Little Engine That Could" ------------------------- (Our Forums)

bluecheast Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2007.11.15 19:15:00 - [21] A man who wanted to buy an Ass went to market, and, coming across a likely-looking beast, arranged with the owner that he should be allowed to take him home on trial to see what he was like. When he reached home, he put him into his stable along with the other asses. The newcomer took a look round, and immediately went and chose a place next to the laziest and greediest beast in the stable. When the master saw this he put a halter on him at once, and led him off and handed him over to his owner again. The latter was a good deal surprised to seem him back so soon, and said, "Why, do you mean to say you have tested him already?" "I don't want to put him through any more tests," replied the other. "I could see what sort of beast he is from the companion he chose for himself ------------------------- (Our Forums)
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2007.11.16 18:22:00 - [22] A COLONEL ISSUED THE FOLLOWING DIRECTIVE TO HIS EXECUTIVE OFFICERS: "Tomorrow evening at approximately 2000 hours Halley's Comet will be visible in this area; an event which occurs only every 75 years. Have the men fall out in the battalion area in fatigues, and I will explain this rare phenomenon to them. In case of rain, we will not be able to see anything, so assemble the men in the theater and I will show them films of it." EXECUTIVE OFFICER TO COMPANY COMMANDER: "By order of the Colonel, tomorrow at 2000 hours, Halley's Comet will appear above the battalion area. If it rains, fall the men out in fatigues, then march to the theater where this rare phenomenon will take place, something which occurs only once every 75 years." COMPANY COMMANDER TO LIEUTENANT: "By order of the Colonel be in fatigues at 2000 hours tomorrow evening. The phenomenal Halley's Comet will appear in the theater. In case of rain in the battalion area, the Colonel will give another order, something which occurs once every 75 years." LIEUTENANT TO SERGEANT: "Tomorrow at 2000 hours, the Colonel will appear in the theater with Halley's comet, something which happens every 75 years. If it rains, the Colonel will order the comet into the battalion area." SERGEANT TO SQUAD: "When it rains tomorrow at 2000 hours, the phenomenal 75-year-old General Halley, accompanied by the Colonel, will drive his comet through the battalion area theater in fatigues." ------------------------- (Our Forums)
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2007.11.17 17:23:00 - [23] A good samaritan was walking home late one night when he came upon this drunk on the sidewalk. Wanting to help, he asked the drunk "do you live here?" "Yep". "Would you like me to help you upstairs?" "Yep". When they got up on the second floor, the good person asked "Is this your floor?" "Yep". Then the good samaritan got to thinking that maybe he didn't want to face the man's irate and tired wife because she may think he was the one who got the man drunk. So, he opened the first door he came to and shoved him through it then went back downstairs. However, when he went back outside, there was another drunk. So he asked that drunk "Do you live here?" "Yep". "Would you like me to help you upstairs?" "Yep". So he did and put him in the same door with the first drunk. Then went back downstairs. Where, to his surprise, there was another drunk. So he started over to him. But before he got to him, the drunk staggered over to a policeman and cried "Please officer, protect me from this man. He's been doing nothing all night long but taking me upstairs and throwing me down the elevator shaft!" ------------------------- (Our Forums)
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2007.11.18 17:13:00 - [24] When the waitress in a New York City restaurant brought him the soup du jour, the Englishman was a bit dismayed. "Good heavens," he said, "what is this?" "Why, it's bean soup," she replied. "I don't care what it has been," he sputtered. "What is it now?" ------------------------- (Our Forums)
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2007.11.19 19:32:00 - [25] A blonde was standing in front of a soda machine outside of a local store. After putting in sixty cents, a root beer pops out of the machine. She set it on the ground, puts sixty more cents into the machine, and pushes another button; suddenly, a coke comes out the machine! She continued to do this until a man waiting to use the machine became impatient. "Excuse me, can I get my soda and then you can go back to whatever stupid thing you are doing?" The blonde turns around and says, "Yeah right! I'm not giving up this machine while I'm still winning!" ------------------------- (Our Forums)
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2007.11.22 19:04:00 - [26] "Yes da bad times in life is like a telephone You never know when it ago ring But when it ring Just pick it up an receive When you finish Put down the receiver and carry on 'Cause the sun will always shine" Say what? ------------------------- (Our Forums)
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2007.11.23 19:49:00 - [27] Q: If there were 4 potatoes in a room, which one would be the prostitute? A: The one that's labeled "IDAHO" ------------------------- (Our Forums)
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2007.11.26 15:20:00 - [28] There's this Wizard who worked in a factory. Everything was satisfactory except that miscreants, taking advantage of his good nature, would steal his parking spot. This continued until he put up the following sign: "This parking space belongs to the Wizard. ... Violators will be toad." ------------------------- (Our Forums)
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2007.11.27 22:41:00 - [29] There were some backwoods hillbillies living across the river from each other, who feuded constantly. John hated Clarence with a passion and never passed up a chance to throw rocks across the river at Clarence. This went on for years until one day the Corps of Engineers came to build a bridge across that river. John was elated; he told his wife that finally he was going to get the chance to cross over and whip Clarence. He left the house and returned in a matter of minutes. His wife asked what was wrong, didn't he intend to go over the bridge and whip Clarence? He replied that he never had really seen Clarence up close and didn't realize his size until he started over the bridge and saw the sign: "CLEARANCE 8 FT 3 IN" ------------------------- (Our Forums)
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2007.11.28 19:16:00 - [30] Bill Clinton, Hillary Ramrod Clinton, Al Gore, and Tipper Gore are flying aboard Air Force 1 on their way to visit the Communists to share their success stories about taxing Americans. Bill: "Why don't I throw this hundred dollar bill out the window and make someone very happy." Hillary: "Well, why don't you throw ten hundred dollar bills out the window and make ten people happy." Al: "Why don't you two jump out the window and make me and Tipper happy." Tipper: "Why don't we all jump out the window and make everybody throughout the United States and world happy." ------------------------- (Our Forums)

bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2007.11.30 17:24:00 - [31] A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money. The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, "Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel. "I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents. "The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5:00 pm for 20 cents. I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I'd accumulated a fortune of $1.37." "And that's how you built an empire?" the boy asked. "Heavens, no!" the man replied. "Then my wife's father died and left us two million dollars." ------------------------- (Our Forums)
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2007.12.02 15:32:00 - [32] A SICK STAG lay down in a quiet corner of its pasture-ground. His companions came in great numbers to inquire after his health, and each one helped himself to a share of the food which had been placed for his use; so that he died, not from his sickness, but from the failure of the means of living ------------------------- (Our Forums)
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2007.12.03 16:49:00 - [33] Edited by: bluecheast on 03/12/2007 16:49:50 Were neutral to them all For the past three years, the government has worked hard and spent many tax dollars to find the approval ratings for unemployment. They have concluded that a 7% unemployment level is acceptable to 93% of the working population. Now let's just hope that the unemployment rate doesn't change. ------------------------- (Our Forums)
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2007.12.04 19:22:00 - [34] Sheri, the pert and pretty nurse took her troubles to a resident psychiatrist in the hospital where she worked. "Doctor, you must help me," she pleaded. "It's gotten so that every time I date one of the young doctors here, I end up dating him. And then afterward, I feel guilty and depressed for a week." "I see," nodded the psychiatrist. "And you, no doubt, want me to strengthen your will power and resolve in this matter." "NO!!!" exclaimed the nurse. "I want you to fix it so I won't feel guilty and depressed afterward!"
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2007.12.06 17:51:00 - [35] There were three Aggies; one crane operator, one pole climber, one guide. The guide tied the crane to the end of a pole. The crane operator would then pick the pole up on end. The climber climbed to the top and dropped a tape measure which the guide promptly read and noted the measurement. The crane operator then lowered the pole to the ground and repsitioned to pick up another pole. This went on several times when the foreman came over and asked why they couldn't measure the poles while they were laying on the ground? The Aggies replied, "we need to know how tall the poles are, not how long".
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2007.12.07 15:43:00 - [36] There's antimony, arsenic, aluminum, selenium, And hydrogen and oxygen and nitrogen and rhenium And nickel, neodymium, neptunium, germanium, And iron, americium, ruthenium, uranium, Europium, zirconium, lutetium, vanadium And lanthanum and osmium and astatine and radium And gold, protactinium and indium and gallium (inhale) And iodine and thorium and thulium and thallium. There's yttrium, ytterbium, actinium, rubidium And boron, gadolinium, niobium, iridium And strontium and silicon and silver and samarium, And bismuth, bromine, lithium, beryllium and barium. There's holmium and helium and hafnium and erbium And phosphorous and francium and fluorine and terbium And manganese and mercury, molybdinum, magnesium, Dysprosium and scandium and cerium and cesium And lead, praseodymium, platinum, plutonium, Paladium, promethium, potassium, polonium, Tantalum, technetium, titanium, tellurium, (inhale) And cadmium and calcium and chromium and curium. There's sulfur, californium and fermium, berkelium And also mendelevium, einsteinium and nobelium And argon, krypton, neon, radon, xenon, zinc and rhodium And chlorine, cobalt, carbon, copper, Tungsten, tin and sodium.
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2007.12.08 22:03:00 - [37] An Ass and rude horse were travelling together. The Horse carried little beyond his own tether. While the poor laden beast beside him did struggle; So overburdend that he finally faltered. He pleaded with the Horse to show him some pity, Else he would die before reaching the city. "My request after all is not impolite; Half of this load you would still find light." The Horse he refused thinking himself clever, But soon saw his comrade fall down forever. He realized quickly he had been mistaken, For soon he was carrying the whole of the burden Along with the skin of his little companion.
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2007.12.09 17:36:00 - [38] Mommy, Mommy! What happened to all that dog food Fido wouldn't eat? Shut up and eat your meat loaf. Mommy, Mommy! When are we going to have Aunt Edna for dinner? Shut up, we haven't even finished your Grandmother yet. Mommy, Mommy! I hate my sister's guts. Shut up and eat what's put in front of you. Mommy, Mommy! What is a deliquent child? Shut up, light your cigarette, drink your whisky and deal those cards. Mommy, Mommy! What is a deliquent child? Shut up and pass me the crowbar.
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2007.12.10 18:19:00 - [39] A NUMBER of Flies were attracted to a jar of honey which had been overturned in a housekeeper's room, and placing their feet in it, ate greedily. Their feet, however, became so smeared with the honey that they could not use their wings, nor release themselves, and were suffocated. Just as they were expiring, they exclaimed, "O foolish creatures that we are, for the sake of a little pleasure we have destroyed ourselves."
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2007.12.11 20:21:00 - [40] Three cowboys were hanging out in the bunkhouse. "I know that smart aleck Tex," said the first. "He's going to start bragging about that new foreign car he bought as soon as he gets back." "Not Tex," the second cowboy replied. "He'll always be just a good ol' boy. When he walks in, I'm sure all he'll say is hello." "I know Tex better than either of you," said the third. "He's so smart, he'll figure out a way to do both. Here he comes now." Tex swung open the bunkhouse door and shouted, "Audi, partners!"

bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2007.12.13 18:17:00 - [41] " ...animals are insentient automata and therefore the intense squeals they make when tortured are merely the sounds of broken machines..."
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2007.12.14 19:02:00 - [42] A man runs to the doctor and says, "Doctor, you've got to help me. My wife thinks she's a chicken!" The doctor asks, "How long has she had this condition?" "Two years," says the man. "Then why did it take you so long to come and see me?" asked the shrink. The man shrugs his shoulders and replies, "We needed the eggs."
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2007.12.15 16:25:00 - [43] Always remember you're unique...Just like everyone else.
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2007.12.16 16:22:00 - [44] Fe Fi Fo Fum
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2007.12.17 18:16:00 - [45] Worried because they hadn't heard anything for days from the widow in the neighboring apartment, Mrs. Silver said to her son, "Timmy, would you go next door and see how old Mrs. Kirkland is?" A few minutes later, Timmy returned. "Well," asked Mrs. Silver, "is she all right?" "She's fine, except that she's angry at you." "At me?" the woman exclaimed. "Whatever for?" "She said 'It's none of your business how old she is,'" snickered Timmy.
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2007.12.26 20:40:00 - [46] Another boring bumb
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2008.01.05 21:16:00 - [47] Greatness carries its own penalties
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2008.01.07 16:24:00 - [48] Loading...............
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2008.01.08 22:25:00 - [49] First one to reply here before my next bump again gets 20m
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2008.01.09 17:11:00 - [50] Reznik Palle has been sent 20m, and yes we jump very often

bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2008.01.10 16:50:00 - [51] Originally by: Reznik Palle tx for the isk. Are you guys GBC, Tortuga, or neutral? I'm aware you don't do pos warfare, but do you have a stance on the 'great' war? We are mostly neutral to most of the world so were not involved in that war you speak off
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2008.01.11 17:33:00 - [52] Finally weekend and beer
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2008.01.12 16:58:00 - [53] 16:56:24 Notify You fail to dock because you are cloaked.
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2008.01.13 19:36:00 - [54] LOL that sounds so carebearish
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2008.01.15 19:35:00 - [55] Shakey went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I've got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there's somebody under it. I get under the bed, I think there's somebody on top of it. Top, under, top, under. "you gotta help me, I'm going crazy!" "Just put yourself in my hands for two years," said the shrink. "Come to me three times a week, and I'll cure your fears." "How much do you charge?" "A hundred dollars per visit." "I'll sleep on it," said Shakey. Six months later the doctor met Shakey on the street. "Why didn't you ever come to see me again?" asked the psychiatrist. "For a hundred buck's a visit? A bartender cured me for ten dollars." "Is that so! How?" "He told me to cut the legs off the bed!"
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2008.01.16 16:51:00 - [56] That's not gneiss!
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2008.01.17 18:28:00 - [57] Did anyone get that or?
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2008.01.19 18:57:00 - [58] A Nanny-goat went out to fill her empty milk bag And graze newly sprung grass, She fastened the latch tight, Warned her Kid saying: "Do not, upon your life, Open the door unless you are shown This sign and told this password: 'Plague on the wolf and his breed!' " As she was saying these words, The Wolf by chance prowling around, Overheard the spoken words And kept them in his memory. Nanny-Goat, as one can well believe, Had not seen the glutton beast. As soon as she departs, he changes his voice And in a counterfeit tone He asks to be let in, saying: "Plague on the Wolf," Believing he'd go right in. The canny Kid looks through the *****, "Show me your white paw, else I'll not open." He shouted at once. (White paw is a thing Seldom seen in wolfdom, as everyone knows.) This Wolf, aghast upon hearing these words, Went slinking home the same way he had come. Where would the Kid be now, had he believed The password, which by chance Our Wolf had overheard? Two guarantees are better than one, Even a third one would not be extreme. Better be sure than sorry
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2008.01.20 20:51:00 - [59] Yawn
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2008.01.21 19:17:00 - [60] Top Ten ways to get thrown out of chemistry lab 10. Pretend an electron got stuck in your ear, and insist on describing the sound to others. 9. Give a cup of liquid nitrogen to a classmate and ask, "Does this taste funny to you?" 8. Consistently write three atoms of potassium as "***." 7. Mutter repeatedly, "Not again... not again... not again." 6. When it's very quiet, suddenly cry out, "My eyes!" 5. Deny the existence of chemicals. 4. Begin pronouncing everything your immigrant lab instructor says exactly the way he/she says it. 3. Casually walk to the front of the room and urinate in a beaker. 2. Pop a paper bag at the crucial moment when the professor is about to pour the sulfuric acid 1. Show up with a 55-gallon drum of fertilizer and express an interest in federal buildings.

bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2008.01.22 18:27:00 - [61] A boy is about to go on his first date, and is nervous about what to talk about. He asks his father for advice. The father replies: "My son, there are three subjects that always work. These are food, family, and philosophy." The boy picks up his date and they go to a soda fountain. Ice cream sodas in front of them, they stare at each other for a long time, as the boy's nervousness builds. He remembers his father's advice, and chooses the first topic. He asks the girl: "Do you like spinach?" She says "No," and the silence returns. After a few more uncomfortable minutes, the boy thinks of his father's suggestion and turns to the second item on the list. He asks, "Do you have a brother?" Again, the girl says "No" and there is silence once again. The boy then plays his last card. He thinks of his father's advice and asks the girl the following question: "If you had a brother, would he like spinach?"
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2008.01.23 21:55:00 - [62] I was flying from San Francisco to Los Angeles. By the time we took off, there had been a 45-minute delay and everybody on board was ticked. Unexpectedly, we stopped in Sacramento on the way. The flight attendant explained that there would be another 45-minute delay, and if we wanted to get off the aircraft, we would reboard in thirty minutes. Everybody got off the plane except one gentleman who was blind. I noticed him as I walked by and could tell he had flown before because his seeing eye dog lay quietly underneath the seats in front of him throughout the entire flight. I could also tell he had flown this very flight before because the pilot approached him and, calling him by name, said, "Keith, we're in Sacramento for almost an hour. Would you like to get off and stretch your legs?" Keith replied, "No thanks, but maybe my dog would like to stretch his legs. Would you take him for me please?" Now picture this. All the people in the gate area came to a completely quiet standstill when they looked up and saw the pilot walk off the plane with a seeing eye dog! The pilot was even wearing sunglasses that day. People scattered not only trying to change planes but also trying to change airlines!
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2008.01.24 21:02:00 - [63] To view your message here send me 100m isk
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2008.01.29 17:43:00 - [64] Edited by: bluecheast on 29/01/2008 17:43:27 updated
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2008.01.30 23:18:00 - [65] Lazy bump
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2008.02.01 21:05:00 - [66] Shock and Awe
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2008.02.04 22:21:00 - [67] I might do that 20m thing again soon, if i get motivation
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2008.02.05 16:56:00 - [68] So should i, or?
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2008.02.06 15:46:00 - [69] So nobody likes me to do that?
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2008.02.08 16:40:00 - [70] lol ok heres more The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health and was giving an oral test. Speaking specifically about manic depression, she asked, "How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?" A young man in the rear raised his hand and answered, "A basketball coach?"

bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2008.02.09 18:04:00 - [71] A group of psychiatrists were attending a convention. Four of them decided to leave, and walked out together. One said to the other three, "People are always coming to us with their guilt and fears, but we have no one that we can go to when we have problems." The others agreed. Then one said, "Since we are all professionals, why don't we take some time right now to hear each other out?" The other three agreed. The first then confessed, "I have an uncontrollable desire to kill my patients." The second psychiatrist said, "I love expensive things and so I find ways to cheat my patients out of their money whenever I can so I can buy the things I want." The third followed with, "I'm involved with selling drugs and often get my patients to sell them for me." The fourth psychiatrist then confessed, "I know I'm not supposed to, but no matter how hard I try, I can't keep a secret..."
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2008.02.11 20:59:00 - [72] Two rednecks go on a fishing trip. They rent all the equipment - the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods. I mean they spend a fortune! The first day they go fishing, but they don't catch anything. The same thing happens on the second day, and on the third day. It goes on like this until finally, on the last day of their vacation, one of the men catches a fish. As they're driving home they're really depressed. One guy turns to the other and says, "Do you realize that this one lousy fish we caught cost us fifteen hundred bucks?" The other guy says, "Wow! Then it's a good thing we didn't catch any more!"
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2008.02.12 20:09:00 - [73] Here's a delightful treat someone once made for an office Christmas party: A gelatin mold should be made with Knox Unflavored Gelatin and red food coloring. One would think that a flavorless food would not be at all difficult to swallow, but believe me, from the looks of people who inserted cold masses of gelatinous glop into a mouth that was expecting sweets, the experience is unexplainably horrifying! Some claimed to be nauseated by the feel of it; others politely swallowed.
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2008.02.13 20:03:00 - [74] Edited by: bluecheast on 13/02/2008 20:06:47 Are You Ready for Children? Mess Test: Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Now rub your hands in the wet flowerbed and rub on the walls. Cover the stains with crayons. Place a fish stick behind the couch and leave it there all summer. Toy Test: Obtain a 55-gallon box of Lego's. (If Lego's are not available, you may substitute roofing tacks or broken bottles.) Have a friend spread them all over the house. Put on a blindfold. Try to walk to the bathroom or kitchen. Do not scream. (This could wake a child at night.) Grocery Store Test: Borrow one or two small animals (goats are best) and take them with you as you shop at the grocery store. Always keep them in sight and pay for anything they eat or damage. Dressing Test: Obtain one large, unhappy, live octopus. Stuff into a small net bag making sure that all arms stay inside. Feeding Test: Obtain a large plastic milk jug. Fill halfway with water. Suspend from the ceiling with a stout cord. Start the jug swinging. Try to insert spoonfuls of soggy cereal (such as Fruit Loops or Cheerios) into the mouth of the jug, while pretending to be an airplane. Now dump the contents of the jug on the floor. Night Test: Prepare by obtaining a small cloth bag and fill it with 8 - 12 pounds of sand. Soak it thoroughly in water. At 8:00 PM begin to waltz and hum with the bag until 9:00 PM. Lay down your bag and set your alarm for 10:00 PM. Get up, pick up your bag, and sing every song you have ever heard. Make up about a dozen more and sing these too until 4:00 AM. Set alarm for 5:00 AM. Get up and make breakfast. Keep this up for 5 years. Look cheerful. Physical Test (Women): Obtain a large beanbag chair and attach it to the front of your clothes. Leave it there for 9 months. Now remove 10 of the beans. Physical Test (Men): Go to the nearest drug store. Set your wallet on the counter. Ask the clerk to help himself. Now proceed to the nearest food store. Go to the head office and arrange for your paycheck to be directly deposited to the store. Purchase a newspaper. Go home and read it quietly for the last time. Final Assignment: Find a couple who already has a small child. Lecture them on how they can improve their discipline, patience, tolerance, toilet training, and child's table manners. Suggest many ways they can improve. Emphasize to them that they should never allow their children to run riot. Enjoy this experience. It will be the last time you will have all the answers.
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2008.02.15 20:54:00 - [75] A snake and a rabbit were racing along a pair of intersecting forest pathways one day, when they collided at the intersection. They immediately began to argue with one another as to who was at fault for the mishap. When the snake remarked that he had been blind since birth, and thus should be given additional leeway, the rabbit said that he, too, had been blind since birth. The two animals then forgot about the collision and began commiserating concerning the problems of being blind. The snake said that his greatest regret was the loss of his identity. He had never been able to see his reflection in the water, and for that reason did not know exactly what he looked like, or even what he was. The rabbit declared that he had the same problem. Seeing a way that they could help each other, the rabbit proposed that one feel the other from head to toe, and then try to describe what the other animal was. The snake agreed, and started by winding himself around the rabbit. After a few moments, he announced, "You've got very soft, fuzzy fur, long ears, big rear feet, and a little fuzzy ball for a tail. I think that you must be a bunny rabbit!" The rabbit was much relieved to find his identity, and proceeded to return the favor to the snake. After feeling about the snake's body for a few minutes, he asserted, "Well, you're scaly, you're slimy, you've got beady little eyes, you squirm and slither all the time, and you've got a forked tongue. I think you're a lawyer!"
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2008.02.17 17:57:00 - [76] The farmer's son was returning from the market with the crate of chicken's his father had entrusted to him, when all of a sudden the box fell and broke open. Chickens scurried off in different directions, but the determined boy walked all over the neighborhood scooping up the wayward birds and returning them to the repaired crate. Hoping he had found them all, the boy reluctantly returned home, expecting the worst. "Pa, the chickens got loose," the boy confessed sadly, "but I managed to find all twelve of them." "Well, you did real good, son," the farmer beamed. "You left with seven."
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2008.02.21 23:05:00 - [77] Bad connectoin
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2008.02.23 22:34:00 - [78] In olden times, it is reported that sacrifices were made at the altar. Since then, weddings have been held there, and times haven't changed at all!
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2008.02.26 21:23:00 - [79] One day a young man and woman were in their bedroom making love. All of a sudden a bumble bee entered the bedroom window. As the young lady parted her legs the bee entered her vagina. The woman started screaming, "Oh my god, help me, there's a bee in my vagina!". The husband immediately took her to the local doctor and explained the situation. The doctor thought for a moment and said, "Hmm, tricky situation. But I have a solution to the problem if young sir would permit". The husband being very concerned agreed that the doctor could use whatever method to get the bee out of his wife's vagina. The doctor said "OK, what I'm gonna do is rub some honey over the top of my *** and insert it into your wife's vagina. When I feel the bee getting closer to the tip of my I shall withdraw it and the bee should hopefully follow my * out of your wife's vagina." The husband nodded and gave his approval. The young lady said "Yes,yes, whatever, just get on with it." So the doctor, after covering the tip of his * with honey,inserted it into the young lady's vagina. After a few gentle strokes,the doctor said, "I don't think the bee has noticed the honey yet. Perhaps I should go a bit deeper". So the doctor went deeper and deeper. After a while the doctor began shafting the young lady very hard indeed. The young lady began to quiver with excitement, she began to moan and groan aloud, "Oh doctor, doctor!" she shouted. The doctor, concentrating very hard, looked like he was enjoying himself. He then put his hands on the young lady's ***** and started making loud noises. The husband, at this point, suddenly became very annoyed and shouted. "Now wait a minute, what the hell do you think you're doing?!" he blasted. The doctor, still concentrating, replied: "Change of plan, I'm gonna drown the bastard!!
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2008.02.27 17:54:00 - [80] Originally by: Empero Edited by: Empero on 27/02/2008 14:27:18 BOB is about to disband for joining Hydra! Edit: typo proof: Linkage

bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2008.02.28 14:17:00 - [81] Originally by: Firkragg I heard RA got 10 titans and a unicorn. I also heard CCP are about to nerf unicorns. I demand my SP in unicorn husbandry back. Linkage
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2008.03.01 20:30:00 - [82] Q: What is the difference between a cello and a coffin? A: The coffin has the corpse on the inside.
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2008.03.03 19:45:00 - [83] Bill Clinton, Hillary Ramrod Clinton, Al Gore, and Tipper Gore are flying aboard Air Force 1 on their way to visit the Communists to share their success stories about taxing Americans. Bill: "Why don't I throw this hundred dollar bill out the window and make someone very happy." Hillary: "Well, why don't you throw ten hundred dollar bills out the window and make ten people happy." Al: "Why don't you two jump out the window and make me and Tipper happy." Tipper: "Why don't we all jump out the window and make everybody throughout the United States and world happy."
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2008.03.04 20:45:00 - [84] A very homely person made an appointment with a psychiatrist. The homely person walked into the doctor's office and said, "Doctor, I'm so depressed and lonely. I don't have any friends, no one will come near me, and everybody laughs at me. Can you help me accept my ugliness?" "I'm sure I can." the psychiatrist replied. "Just go over and lie face down on that couch."
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2008.03.05 18:16:00 - [85] The Evolution of Mom Yes, parenthood changes everything. But parenthood also changes with each baby. Here, some of the ways having a second and third child differs from having your first: Your Clothes - 1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy. 2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible. 3rd baby: Your maternity clothes are your regular clothes. The Baby's Name - 1st baby: You pore over baby-name books and practice pronouncing and writing combinations of all your favorites. 2nd baby: Someone has to name their kid after your great-aunt Mavis, right? It might as well be you. 3rd baby: You open a name book, close your eyes, and see where your finger falls. Bimaldo? Perfect! Preparing for the Birth - 1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously. 2nd baby: You don't bother practicing because you remember that last time, breathing didn't do a thing. 3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your 8th month. The Layette - 1st baby: You prewash your newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau. 2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains. 3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they? Worries - 1st baby: At the first sign of distress - a whimper, a frown - you pick up the baby. 2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn. 3rd baby: You teach your 3-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing. Activities - 1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour. 2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics. 3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner. Going Out - 1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home 5 times. 2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached. 3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood. At Home - 1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby. 2nd baby: You spend a bit of every day watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby. 3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2008.03.06 19:36:00 - [86] Two blondes were driving along a road by a wheat field when they saw a blonde in the middle of the field rowing a row boat. The driver blonde turned to her friend and said "You know - it's blondes like that that give us a bad name!" To this, the other blonde replies "I know it, and if I knew how to swim, I'd go out there and drown her."
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2008.03.08 18:20:00 - [87] There was once a wife so jealous that when her husband came home one night and she couldn't find hairs on his jackets she yelled at him, "Great, so now you're cheating on me with a bald woman!" The next night, when she didn't smell any perfume, she yelled again by saying, "She's not only bald, but she's too cheap to buy any perfume!"
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2008.03.09 21:34:00 - [88] Shakey went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I've got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there's somebody under it. I get under the bed, I think there's somebody on top of it. Top, under, top, under. "you gotta help me, I'm going crazy!" "Just put yourself in my hands for two years," said the shrink. "Come to me three times a week, and I'll cure your fears." "How much do you charge?" "A hundred dollars per visit." "I'll sleep on it," said Shakey. Six months later the doctor met Shakey on the street. "Why didn't you ever come to see me again?" asked the psychiatrist. "For a hundred buck's a visit? A bartender cured me for ten dollars." "Is that so! How?" "He told me to cut the legs off the bed!"
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2008.03.11 23:11:00 - [89] A man jumps out of an airplane with a parachute on his back. As he's falling, he realizes hiss chute is broken. He doesn't know anything about parachutes, but as the earth rapidly approaches, he realizes his options are limited; he takes off the parachute and tries to fix it himself on the way down. The wind is ripping past his face, he's dropping like a rock, and at 5000 feet, another man goes shooting up past him. In desperation, the man with the chute looks up and yells, "Hey do you know anything about parachutes?!" The guy flying up looks down and yells, "No, do you know anything about gas stoves?!"
bluecheast	Posted - 2008.03.13 18:53:00 - [90] The Committee for the Reduction of Redundancy and the Antiproliferation of Repetition has decided not to meet until they have their first meeting and thus will not be meeting until the first time. Their Pre-meeting Statement wanted to make this clear before they had their first meeting, so that it would not be unor confusing. So their first meeting will actually be their first meeting and they will not have a meeting before the first meeting. This should avoid having people show up for their first meeting before it is held, since to do so would be confusing to those who did so and this is what they want to avoid by reducing the confusion and lessening the repetition.

bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2008.03.26 23:05:00 - [91] A man goes to a bar with his dog. He goes up to the bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says "You can't bring that dog in here!" The guy, without missing a beat, says "This is my seeing-eye dog." "Oh man, " the bartender says, "I'm sorry, here, the first one's on me." The man takes his drink and goes to a table near the door. Another guy walks in the bar with a Chihuahua. The first guys sees him, stops him and says "You can't bring that dog in here unless you tell him it's a seeing-eye dog." The second man graciously thanks the first man and continues to the bar. He asks for a drink. The bartender says "Hey, you can't bring that dog in here!" The second man replies "This is my seeing-eye dog." The bartender says, "No, I don't think so. They do not have Chiwauas as seeing-eye dogs." The man pauses for a half-second and replies "What?!?! They gave me a Chihuahua?!?"
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2008.03.27 18:56:00 - [92] Thnx for that guys, I wonder if forum mods enjoy it?
bluecheast	Posted - 2008.04.02 21:54:00 - [93] "Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his employees. "Yes, Sir." the new recruit replied. "Well, then, that makes everything just fine," the boss went on. "After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother's funeral, she stopped in to see you
bluecheast	Posted - 2008.04.05 00:11:00 - [94] Zek and Luke went to a trucking company to apply for a "Team" truck driving job. The personnel manager decided, after talking to them both that they weren't the sharpest knives in the drawer. He decides to interview them separately. He first interviews Zek. After 15 minutes he completes the interview. Zek barely passes. Next he interviews Luke. He begins by asking the usual transportation related questions. Luke also barely passes. The personnel manager next interview them together. He presents them with this potential problem: Now Zek and Luke, lets say that you two are a driving team. One of you is driving the rig and the other is asleep in the back. You are going down this very steep hill with sixty thousand pounds of steel on the truck. All of a sudden your breaks go out and your speed is increasing. What would be the first thing you'd do ? About a minute passes and there was no answer. Then, all of a sudden Luke spoke up. "I know, I know, I know the first thing I'd do". The personnel manager says "yes Luke, what is the first thing you'd do?" Luke says, "I'd wake Zek up." The personnel manager replies, "WHAT ! "Why would wake Zek up ?" Coos, says Luke, "He ain't never seen no big accident before!"
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2008.04.11 18:10:00 - [95] "Empires don't really collapse. Rather they become large, difficult to control and eventually unable to defend against a large rival"
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2008.04.13 19:56:00 - [96] Great truths about life that adults have learned 1. Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree. 2. There is always alot to be thankful for if you take the time to look. For example: I'm sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt. 3. One reason to smile is that every seven minutes of every day someone in an aerobics class pulls a hamstring. 4. Car sickness is the feeling you get when the monthly payment is due. 5. The best way to keep kids at home is to make a pleasant atmosphere and let the air out of their tires. 6. Families are like fudge....mostly sweet, with a few nuts. 7. Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground. 8. Laughing helps. It's like jogging on the inside. 9. Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy. 10. My mind not only wanders; sometimes it leaves completely. 11. If you can remain calm, you just don't have all the facts.
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2008.04.14 18:58:00 - [97] A farmer was milking his cow. He was just starting to get a good rhythm going when a bug flew into the barn and started circling his head. Suddenly, the bug flew into the cow's ear. The farmer didn't think much about it, until the bug squirted out into his bucket. It went in one ear and out the udder.
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2008.04.15 19:44:00 - [98] A Software Engineer, a Hardware Engineer and a Branch Manager were on their way to a meeting. They were driving down a steep mountain road when suddenly the brakes on their car failed. The car careened almost out of control down the road, bouncing off the crash barriers, until it miraculously ground to a halt scraping along the mountainside. The car's occupants, shaken but unhurt, now had a problem: they were stuck halfway down a mountain in a car with no brakes. What were they to do? "I know," said the Branch Manager, "Let's have a meeting, propose a Vision, formulate a Mission Statement, define some Goals, and by a process of Continuous Improvement find a solution to the Critical Problems, and we can be on our way." "No, no," said the Hardware Engineer, "That will take far too long, and besides, that method has never worked before. I've got my Swiss Army knife with me, and in no time at all I can strip down the car's braking system, isolate the fault, fix it, and we can be on our way." "Well," said the Software Engineer, "Before we do anything, I think we should push the car back up the road and see if it happens again."
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2008.04.16 20:52:00 - [99] Jack was living in Arizona during a heat wave when the following took place. "It's just too hot to wear clothes today," complained Jack as he stepped out of the shower. "Honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?" "Probably that I married you for your money."
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2008.04.22 21:58:00 - [100] A guy driving a Yugo pulled up to a stoplight next to a Rolls-Royce. He rolled down his window and shouted to the driver of the Rolls. "Hey, buddy, that's a nice car. You got a phone in your Rolls? I've got a phone in my Yugo!" The driver of the Rolls looked over and said snobbishly, "Yes, I have a phone." The driver of the Yugo said, "Cool! Hey, you also got a fridge in there, too? I've got one in the back seat of my Yugo!" The driver of the Rolls, much annoyed, says, "Yes, I have a refrigerator." The driver of the Yugo said, "That's great, man! Hey, you got a TV in there? You know, I got a TV in the back seat of my Yugo!" The driver of the Rolls, quite irritated by now, replied, "Of course, I have a television. A Rolls-Royce is the finest luxury car in the world!" The driver of the Yugo said, "Yes, a very cool car! Hey, you got a bed in there? I got a bed in the back of my Yugo!" The driver of the Rolls, upset that he did not have a bed, sped away and went straight to the dealer, where he promptly ordered a bed to be installed in the back of his Rolls-Royce. The next morning, he returned to pick up his car, and the bed looked superb It came complete with silk sheets and a brass-trimmed headboard. It was clearly a bed fit for a Rolls-Royce. So the driver of the Rolls began searching for the Yugo. He drove around all day and finally found the Yugo late that night. It was parked, with all the windows fogged up from the inside. He got out and knocked on the window of the Yugo. When there wasn't any answer, he continued knocking and knocking until finally, the owner of the Yugo lowered the window, and stuck his soaking wet head out. "I now have a bed in the back of my Rolls-Royce," the driver of the Rolls stated arrogantly. The driver of the Yugo looked at him narrowly and said, "You got me out of the shower to tell me that?!?!"

bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2008.04.24 19:48:00 - [101] AN ASTRONOMER used to go out at night to observe the stars. One evening, as he wandered through the suburbs with his whole attention fixed on the sky, he fell accidentally into a deep well. While he lamented and bewailed his sores and bruises, and cried loudly for help, a neighbor ran to the well, and learning what had happened said: "Hark ye, old fellow, why, in striving to pry into what is in heaven, do you not manage to see what is on earth?'
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2008.04.26 20:24:00 - [102] geez im lazy
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2008.04.28 21:59:00 - [103] http://oldforums.eveonline.com/?a=topic&threadID=759843&page=1#11
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2008.04.29 21:52:00 - [104] There were 3 men who died and before God would let them into heaven, he gave them a chance to come back as anything they wanted. The first guy said " I want to come back as myself, but 100 times smarter. So God made him 100 times smarter. The second guy said "I want to be better than that guy, make me 1000 times smarter. So God made him 1000 times smarter. The last guy decided he would be the best. So he said "God, make me better than both of them, make me 1,000,000 times smarter. So God made him a woman !!
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2008.05.01 18:39:00 - [105] An overweight blonde consulted her doctor for advice. The doctor advised that she run ten miles a day for thirty days. This, he promised, would help her lose as many as twenty pounds. The blonde followed the doctor's advice, and, after thirty days, she was pleased to find that she had indeed lost the pesky twenty pounds. She phoned the doctor and thanked him for the wonderful advice which produced such effective results. At the end of the conversation, however, she asked one last question: "How do I get home, since I am now 300 miles away?"
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2008.05.04 18:27:00 - [106] A New York City yuppie moved to the country and bought a piece of land. He went to the local feed and livestock store and talked to the proprietor about how he was going to take up chicken farming. He then asked to buy 100 chicks. "That's a lot of chicks," commented the proprietor. "I mean business," the city slicker replied. A week later the yuppie was back again. "I need another 100 chicks," he said. "Boy, you are serious about this chicken farming," the man told him. "Yeah," the yuppie replied. "If I can iron out a few problems." "Problems?" asked the proprietor. "Yeah," replied the yuppie, "I think I planted that last batch too close together."
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2008.05.05 18:44:00 - [107] Edited by: bluecheast on 05/05/2008 18:44:41 Cartoon Laws of Physics Cartoon Law I Any body suspended in space will remain in space until made aware of its situation. Daffy Duck steps off a cliff, expecting further pastureland. He loiters in midair, soliloquizing flippantly, until he chances to look down. At this point, the familiar principle of 32 feet per second per second takes over. Cartoon Law II Any body in motion will tend to remain in motion until solid matter intervenes suddenly. Whether shot from a cannon or in hot pursuit on foot, cartoon characters are so absolute in their momentum that only a telephone pole or an outsize boulder ******s their forward motion absolutely. Sir Isaac Newton called this sudden termination of motion the stooge's surcease. Cartoon Law III Any body passing through solid matter will leave a perforation conforming to its perimeter. Also called the silhouette of passage, this phenomenon is the speciality of victims of directed-pressure explosions and of reckless cowards who are so eager to escape that they exit directly through the wall of a house, leaving a cookie-cutout-perfect hole. The threat of skunks or matrimony often catalyses this reaction. Cartoon Law IV The time required for an object to fall twenty stories is greater than or equal to the time it takes for whoever knocked it off the ledge to spiral down twenty flights to attempt to capture it unbroken. Such an object is inevitably priceless, the attempt to capture it inevitably unsuccessful. Cartoon Law V All principles of gravity are negated by fear. Psychic forces are sufficient in most bodies for a shock to propel them directly away from the earth's surface. A spooky noise or an adversary's signature sound will induce motion upward, usually to the cradle of a chandelier, a treetop, or the crest of a flagpole. The feet of a character who is running or the wheels of a speeding auto need never touch the ground, especially when in flight. Cartoon Law VI As speed increases, objects can be in several places at once. This is particularly true of tooth-and-claw fights, in which a character's head may be glimpsed emerging from the cloud of altercation at several places simultaneously. This effect is common as well among bodies that are spinning or being throttled. A `wacky' character has the option of self-replication only at manic high speeds and may ricochet off walls to achieve the velocity required. Cartoon Law VII Certain bodies can pass through solid walls painted to resemble tunnel entrances; others cannot. This trompe l'oeil inconsistency has baffled generations, but at least it is known that whoever paints an entrance on a wall's surface to trick an opponent will be unable to pursue him into this theoretical space. The painter is flattened against the wall when he attempts to follow into the painting. This is ultimately a problem of art, not of science. Cartoon Law VIII Any violent rearrangement of feline matter is impermanent. Cartoon cats possess even more deaths than the traditional nine lives might comfortably afford. They can be decimated, spliced, splayed, accordion-pleated, spindled, or disassembled, but they cannot be destroyed. After a few moments of blinking self pity, they reinflate, elongate, snap back, or solidify. Corollary: A cat will assume the shape of its container. Cartoon Law IX Everything falls faster than an anvil.
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2008.05.07 16:53:00 - [108] CONFIDENTIAL/URGENT POLITICAL PROPOSAL Dear Sir First we must solicit your confidence in this issue. This is by virtue as being utterly confidential and "top secret". We are SENATOR HILLARY CLINTON, the wife of the former United States head of state, PRESIDENT BILL CLINTON, and also SENATOR JOHN MCCAIN, friend and associate of current head of state PRESIDENT GEORGE W BUSH. We got your contact through business inquiries as we were searching for contacts of a citizen who can help save our and our family's political careers since our country has been frustrating us. We are top officials of the United States Senate Government who are interested in importation of oil into our country with funds that are presently trapped in the FEDERAL TRANSPORTATION TRUST FUND dedicated to improving transportation. We wish to send this money to overseas accounts in the MIDDLE EAST but cannot due to restrictions in Congress Transportation Equity Act requiring that this money must be spent to build roads, bridges and high speed trains. If you accept we will deliver to your a sum of 30 DOLLARS in the summer 2008 in form of a "GAS TAX HOLIDAY". You will then deliver this money to accounts of our friends in Middle East by taking it to your nearby gasoline station where they have information to forward the money. Please supply your bank account, social security number, address and your vote in DEMOCRATIC PRIMARIES AND NOVEMBER GENERAL ELECTION. But bear in mind that this transaction requires absolute confidentiality. Do not visit WWW.GASTAXSCAM.COM where there is information about dangers of our proposal and a petition to stop us from this diversion of funds. PLEASE NOTIFY US URGENTLY OF YOUR ACCEPTANCE OF THIS PROPOSAL Awaiting your rapid response Yours truly SENATORS HILLARY CLINTON AND JOHN MCCAIN
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2008.05.08 21:11:00 - [109] Three women are about to be executed for crimes. One's a brunette, one's a redhead, and one's a blonde. Two guards brings the brunette forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ." Suddenly the brunette yells, "earthquake!!" Everyone is startled and looks around. She manages to escape. The angry guards then bring the redhead forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ." The redhead then screams, "tornado!!" Yet again, everyone is startled and looks around. She too escapes execution. By this point, the blonde had figured out what the others did. The guards bring her forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She also says no, and the executioner shouts, Ready . . . Aim . . ." The blonde shouts, "fire!!"
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2008.05.12 00:24:00 - [110] USAir recently introduced a special half fare for wives who accompanied their husbands on business trips. Expecting valuable testimonials, the PR department sent out letters to all the wives of businessmen who had used the special rates, asking how they enjoyed their trip. Letters are still pouring in asking, "What trip?"

bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2008.05.17 17:32:00 - [111] The Evolution of Mom Yes, parenthood changes everything. But parenthood also changes with each baby. Here, some of the ways having a second and third child differs from having your first: Your Clothes - 1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy. 2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible. 3rd baby: Your maternity clothes are your regular clothes. The Baby's Name - 1st baby: You pore over baby-name books and practice pronouncing and writing combinations of all your favorites. 2nd baby: Someone has to name their kid after your great-aunt Mavis, right? It might as well be you. 3rd baby: You open a name book, close your eyes, and see where your finger falls. Bimaldo? Perfect! Preparing for the Birth - 1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously. 2nd baby: You don't bother practicing because you remember that last time, breathing didn't do a thing. 3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your 8th month. The Layette - 1st baby: You prewash your newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau. 2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains. 3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they? Worries - 1st baby: At the first sign of distress - a whimper, a frown - you pick up the baby. 2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn. 3rd baby: You teach your 3-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing. Activities - 1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour. 2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics. 3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner. Going Out - 1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home 5 times. 2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached. 3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood. At Home - 1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby. 2nd baby: You spend a bit of every day watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby. 3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2008.05.18 15:16:00 - [112] There were some backwoods hillbillies living across the river from each other, who feuded constantly. John hated Clarence with a passion and never passed up a chance to throw rocks across the river at Clarence. This went on for years until one day the Corps of Engineers came to build a bridge across that river. John was elated; he told his wife that finally he was going to get the chance to cross over and whip Clarence. He left the house and returned in a matter of minutes. His wife asked what was wrong, didn't he intend to go over the bridge and whip Clarence? He replied that he never had really seen Clarence up close and didn't realize his size until he started over the bridge and saw the sign: "CLEARANCE 8 FT 3 IN"
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2008.05.19 17:14:00 - [113] battle, told his sergeant that he didn't have a rifle. "That's no problem, son," said the sergeant. "Here, take this broom. Just point it at the Germans, and go 'Bangety Bang Bang'." "But what about a bayonet, Sarge?" asked the young (and gullible) recruit. The sergeant pulls a piece of straw from the end of the broom, and attaches it to the handle end. "Here, use this... just go, 'Stabity Stab Stab'." The recruit ends up alone on the battlefield, holding just his broom. Suddenly, a German soldier charges at him. The recruit points the broom, "Bangety Bang Bang!" The German falls dead. More Germans appear. The recruit, amazed at his good luck, goes "Bangety Bang Bang! Stabity Stab Stab!" He mows down the enemy by the dozens. Finally, the battlefield is clear, except for one German soldier walking slowly toward him. "Bangety Bang Bang! shouts the recruit. The German keeps coming. "Bangety Bang Bang!" repeats the recruit, to no avail. He gets desperate. "Bangety Bang Bang! Stabity Stab Stab!" It's no use. The German keeps coming. He stomps the recruit into the ground, and says, "Tankety Tank Tank."
bluecheast Four Rings Phalanx Alliance	Posted - 2008.05.20 18:20:00 - [114] Supposedly G.B. Shaw once sent Winston Churchill some tickets for the first night of one of his plays. Churchill then sent Shaw a telegram to the effect: "Cannot come first night. Will come second night if you have one." Shaw promptly replied: "Here are two tickets for the second night. Bring a friend if you have one."
bluecheast Four Rings	Posted - 2008.05.21 18:56:00 - [115] An office technician got a call from a user. The user told the tech that her computer was not working. She described the problem and the tech concluded that the computer needed to be brought in and serviced. He told her to "Unplug the power cord and bring it up here and I will fix it." About fifteen minutes later she shows up at his door with the power cord in her hand.
bluecheast Four Rings Souls of Vengeance	Posted - 2008.05.22 17:52:00 - [116] A farmer and his pig were driving down the road when a cop pulled him over. The cop asked the farmer, "Didn't you know it is against the law to ride with a pig in the front of you truck?" The farmer replied, "No, I didn't knowed that." The cop ask the farmer where he was going and he said, "To Memphis". The cop said, "I will let you off the hook this time if you promise to take the pig to the zoo when you get to Memphis." So the farmer promised he would. Several days later the cop spotted the farmer with the pig driving down the road and he pulled him over again. The cop said "I thought I told you to take this pig to the zoo when you got to Memphis" and to this the farmer replied "I did and we had so much fun, I'm taking him to the circus."
bluecheast Four Rings Souls of Vengeance	Posted - 2008.05.23 19:45:00 - [117] Top Signs You're At A Bad Motel 1. The "complimentary" paper tells you that President Kennedy has died. 2. The mint on the pillow starts moving when you come close to it. 3. The "magic fingers vibration" is supplied by giving a quarter to the town epileptic. 4. There is still some stuff that they put around crime scenes that is yellow 5. The pictures are not placed for decoration but to cover up recent bullet holes. 6. You have to wait until the guy next door is done with the towel so you can use it. 7. There's a chalk outline in the bed when you pull back the covers. 8. The desk clerk has to move the body in order to get some ice for you. 9. The Only TV station you can get is a ****o channel with roseanne on it. 10. The wake up call comes courtesy of police helicopter.
bluecheast Four Rings Souls of Vengeance	Posted - 2008.05.24 17:16:00 - [118] Three cowboys were hanging out in the bunkhouse. "I know that smart aleck Tex," said the first. "He's going to start bragging about that new foreign car he bought as soon as he gets back." "Not Tex," the second cowboy replied. "He'll always be just a good ol' boy. When he walks in, I'm sure all he'll say is hello." "I know Tex better than either of you," said the third. "He's so smart, he'll figure out a way to do both. Here he comes now." Tex swung open the bunkhouse door and shouted, "Audi, partners!"
bluecheast Four Rings Souls of Vengeance	Posted - 2008.05.25 23:22:00 - [119] Thought I'd let my doctor check me, 'Cause I didn't feel quite right. . . All those aches and pains annoyed me And I couldn't sleep at night. He could find no real disorder But he wouldn't let it rest. What with Medicare and Blue Cross, We would do a couple tests. To the hospital he sent me Though I didn't feel that bad. He arranged for them to give me Every test that could be had. I was fluoroscoped and cystoscoped, My aging frame displayed. Stripped, on an ice cold table, While my gizzards were x-rayed. I was checked for worms and parasites, For fungus and the crud, While they pierced me with long needles Taking samples of my blood. Doctors came to check me over, Probed and pushed and poked around, And to make sure I was living They then wired me for sound. They have finally concluded, Their results have filled a page. What I have will someday kill me; My affliction is old age.
bluecheast Four Rings Souls of Vengeance	Posted - 2008.05.26 20:07:00 - [120] The chief of staff of the US Air Force decided that he would personally intervene in the recruiting crisis affecting all of our armed services. He directed a nearby Air Force base that will be opened and that all eligible young men and women be invited. As he and his staff were standing near a brand new F-15 Fighter, a pair of twin brothers who looked like they had just stepped off a Marine Corps recruiting poster walked up to them. The chief of staff walked up to them, stuck out his hand and introduced himself. He looked at the first young man and asked, "Son, what skills can you bring to the Air Force?" The young man looks at him and says, "I'm a pilot!" The general gets all excited, turns to his aide and says, "Get him in today, all the paper work done, everything, do it!" The aide hustles the young man off. The general looks at the second young man and asked, "What skills to you bring to the Air Force?" The young man says, "I chop wood!" "Son," the general replies, "we don't need wood choppers in the Air Force, what do you know how to do?" "I chop wood!" "Young man," huffs the general, "you are not listening to me, we don't need wood choppers, this is the 20th century!" "Well," the young man says, "you hired my brother!" "Of course we did," says the general, "he's a pilot!" The young man rolls his eyes and says, "So what! I have to chop it before he can pile it!"

bluecheast Four Rings Souls of Vengeance	Posted - 2008.05.27 21:57:00 - [121] Taxiing down the tarmac, the jetliner abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate. After an hour-long wait, it finally took off. A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, "What was the problem?" "The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine," explained the Flight Attendant, "and it took us a while to find a new pilot."
bluecheast Four Rings Souls of Vengeance	Posted - 2008.05.28 22:43:00 - [122] If Men Were to Rewrite "The Rules" Rule # 1 Anything we said six or eight months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after seven days. Rule # 2 If we say something that can be interpreted in two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other way. Rule # 3 It is in neither your best interest nor ours to make us take those stupid Cosmo quizzes together. Rule # 4 You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done -- not both. Rule # 5 Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials or time-outs. Rule # 6 Christopher Columbus didn't need directions and neither do we. Rule # 7 When we're turning the wheel and the car is nosing onto the ramp, you saying "This is our exit" is not necessary.
bluecheast Four Rings Souls of Vengeance	Posted - 2008.05.29 22:41:00 - [123] Three men died in a car accident and met Jesus himself at the Pearly Gates. The Lord spoke unto them saying, "I will ask you each a simple question. If you tell the truth I will allow you into heaven, but if you lie....Hell is waiting for you. To the first man the Lord asked, "How many times did you cheat on your wife?" The first man replied, "Lord, I was a good husband. I never cheated on my wife." The Lord replied, "Very good! Not only will I allow you in, but for being faithful to your wife I will give you a huge mansion and a limo for your transportation. To the second man the Lord asked, "How many times did you cheat on your wife?" The second man replied, "Lord, I cheated on my wife twice." The Lord replied, "I will allow you to come in, but for your unfaithfulness, you will get a four- bedroom house and a BMW. To the third man the Lord asked, "So, how many times did you cheat on your wife?" The third man replied, "Lord, I cheated on my wife about 8 times." The Lord replied, "I will allow you to come in, but for your unfaithfulness, you will get a one-room apartment, and a Yugo for your transportation. A couple hours later the second and third men saw the first man crying his eyes out. "Why are you crying?" the two men asked. "You got the mansion and limo!" The first man replied, "I'm crying because I saw my wife a little while ago, and she was riding a skateboard!"
bluecheast Four Rings Souls of Vengeance	Posted - 2008.06.02 17:41:00 - [124] Mariah Carey was one of the first celebrities to comment on the death of the King of Jordan. Mariah told CNN "I'm inconsolable at the present time, I was a very good friend of Jordan, he was probably the greatest basketball player this country has ever seen, we will never see his like again". When told by reporters that it was King ******* of Jordan who had died and not Michael Jordan, Mariah was then led away by her security in a state of "confusion".
bluecheast Four Rings Souls of Vengeance	Posted - 2008.06.05 18:20:00 - [125] The beguiling ideas about science quoted here were gleaned from essays, exams, and classroom discussions. Most were from 5th and 6th graders. They illustrate Mark Twain's contention that the 'most interesting information comes from children, for they tell all they know and then stop. Q: What is one horsepower? A: One horsepower is the amount of energy it takes to drag a horse 500 feet in one second. You can listen to thunder after lightning and tell how close you came to getting hit. If you don't hear it, you got hit, so never mind. Talc is found on rocks and on babies. The law of gravity says no fair jumping up without coming back down. When they broke open molecules, they found they were only stuffed with atoms. But when they broke open atoms, they found them stuffed with explosions. When people run around and around in circles we say they are crazy. When planets do it we say they are orbiting. Rainbows are just to look at, not to really understand. While the earth seems to be knowingly keeping its distance from the sun, it is really only centrificating. [this guy is going to do well in college! haha ...Lj] Someday we may discover how to make magnets that can point in any direction. South America has cold summers and hot winters, but somehow they still manage. Most books now say our sun is a star. But it still knows how to change back into a sun in the daytime. Water freezes at 32 degrees and boils at 212 degrees. There are 180 degrees between freezing and boiling because there are 180 degrees between north and south. A vibration is a motion that cannot make up its mind which way it wants to go. There are 26 vitamins in all, but some of the letters are yet to be discovered. Finding them all means living forever. There is a tremendous weight pushing down on the center of the Earth because of so much population stomping around up there these days. Lime is a green-tasting rock. Many dead animals in the past changed to fossils while others preferred to be oil. Genetics explain why you look like your father and if you don't why you should. Vacuums are nothings. We only mention them to let them know we know they're there. Some oxygen molecules help fires burn while others help make water, so sometimes it's brother against brother. Some people can tell what time it is by looking at the sun. But I have never been able to make out the numbers. We say the cause of perfume disappearing is evaporation. Evaporation gets blamed for a lot of things people forget to put the top on. To most people solutions mean finding the answers. But to chemists solutions are things that are still all mixed up. In looking at a drop of water under a microscope, we find there are twice as many H's as O's. Clouds are high flying fogs. I am not sure how clouds get formed. But the clouds know how to do it, and that is the important thing. Clouds just keep circling the earth around and around. And around. There is not much else to do. Water vapor gets together in a cloud. When it is big enough to be called a drop, it does. Humidity is the experience of looking for air and finding water. We keep track of the humidity in the air so we won't drown when we breathe. Rain is often known as soft water, oppositely known as hail. Rain is saved up in cloud banks. In some rocks you can find the fossil footprints of fishes. Cyanide is so poisonous that one drop of it on a dogs tongue will kill the strongest man. A blizzard is when it snows sideways. A hurricane is a breeze of a bigly size. A monsoon is a French gentleman. Thunder is a rich source of loudness. Isotherms and isobars are even more important than their names sound. It is so hot in some places that the people there have to live in other places
bluecheast Four Rings Souls of Vengeance	Posted - 2008.06.07 17:39:00 - [126] The Lone Ranger and Tonto walked into a bar one day and sat down to drink a beer. After a few minutes, a big tall cowboy walked in and said, "Who owns the big white horse outside?" The Lone Ranger stood up, hitched his gunbelt, and said, "I do. Why?" The cowboy looked at the Lone Ranger and said, "I just thought you would like to know that your horse is just about dead outside!!" The Lone Ranger and Tonto rushed outside and, sure enough, Silver was about dead from heat exhaustion. The Lone Ranger got him some water and made him drink it, and soon Silver was starting to feel a little better. The Lone Ranger turned to Tonto and said, "Tonto, I want you to run around Silver and see if you can create enough of a breeze to make him start to feel better." Tonto said, "Sure Kemosabe", and took off running circles around Silver. Not able to do anything else but wait, the Lone Ranger returned to the bar to finish his drink. A few minutes later, another cowboy struts into the bar and announces, "Who owns that big white horse outside?" The Lone Ranger stands again and claims, "I do. What is wrong with him this time?" The cowboy says to him, "Nothing much, I just wanted you to know............ you left your Injun running!!!"
bluecheast Four Rings Souls of Vengeance	Posted - 2008.06.08 19:41:00 - [127] A new arrival, about to enter hospital, saw two white coated doctors searching through the flower beds. "Excuse me," he said, "have you lost something?" "No," replied one of the doctors. "We're doing a heart transplant for an income-tax inspector and want to find a suitable stone."
bluecheast Four Rings Souls of Vengeance	Posted - 2008.06.10 21:42:00 - [128] These translations are for all of you wonderful women out there, so that you will know what we really mean when we say... "IT'S A GUY THING" Translated:* "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical." "CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?" Translated:* "Why isn't it already on the table?" "UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR" Translated:* Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response. "IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN" Translated:* "I have no idea how it works." "TAKE A BREAK, HONEY. YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD." Translated:* "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner." "THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR." Translated:* "Are you still talking?" "YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS." Translated:* "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop,' the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned... but I forgot your birthday." "OH, DON'T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF. IT'S NO BIG DEAL." Translated:* "I have actually severed a limb but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt." "HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING." Translated:* "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon." "I CAN'T FIND IT." Translated:* "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless." "WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?" Translated:* "What did you catch me at?" "I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE." Translated:* "No one will ever see us alive again." "WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK." Translated:* "I make the messes; she cleans them up."

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