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Sharupak Minmatar Knights Of the Black Sun Rule of Three	Posted - 2007.11.02 02:09:00 - [31] Our story begins at the Olympics, specifically the wrestling event. It is narrowed down to the Russian or the American for the gold medal. Before the final match, the American wrestler's trainer came to him and said, "Now don't forget all the research we've done on this Russian. He's never lost a match because of this "pretzel" hold he has. Whatever you do, don't let him get you in this hold! If he does, you're finished!" The wrestler nodded in agreement. Now, to the match The American and the Russian circled each other several times looking for an opening. All of a sudden the Russian lunged forward, grabbing the American and wrapping him up in the dreaded pretzel hold! A sigh of disappointment went up from the crowd, and the trainer buried his face in his hands for he knew all was lost. He couldn't watch the ending. Suddenly there was a scream, a cheer from the crowd, and the trainer raised his eye just in time to see the Russian flying up in the air. The Russian's back hit the mat with a thud, and the American weakly collapsed on top of him, getting the pin and winning the match. The trainer was astounded! When he finally got the American wrestler alone, he asks, "How did you ever get out of that hold? No one has ever done it before!" The wrestler answered, "Well, I was ready to give up when he got me in that hold, but at the last moment, I opened my eyes and saw this pair of balls right in front of my face. "I thought I had nothing to lose, so with my last ounce of strength I stretched out my neck and bit those babies just as hard as I could. The trainer laughed and said "You got him real good son!" To which the wrestler replied... "Yeah, you'd be amazed how strong you get when you bite your own balls!" _______________________________________________ RuntimeError: ChainEvent is blocking by design, but you're block trapped. You have'll have to find some alternative means to do Your Thing, dude.
Xonkra Gallente	Posted - 2007.11.02 03:51:00 - [32] a baby seal once walked into a club Originally by: Illyria Ambri No matter how you want to say it.. it always sounds like frog clearing throat "Ve zurrendur, dunt schuut"
Motokko Minmatar	Posted - 2007.11.02 10:22:00 - [33] 2 guys are lost and crawling through the desert, they've been at it for days and are thirsty and starving. Suddenly one of them stops and proclaims: Guy A > "Look over there, its a beef tree." Guy B > "Eh?" Guy A > "Look" pointing "Not the first dune, not the second dune, but just beyond the thrid dune. Its a fking beef tree!! We're saved." Guy B** > squinting "I cant see anything. Besides there's no such thing as a bloody beef tree. You're halucinating man. Maybe you have heat stroke." Guy A > "Fine, dont believe me? I'm going to crawl over there and come back with a big juicy steak and prove it to you." So off he crawled whilst his companion took a much needed rest and watched him go. Over the first dune he crawled, dipping out of site as he passed over the crest then reamerging as he climbed the second before shortly dissaperaing over that crest too. Just as he passed out of site beyond the crest of the third dune there was suddenly a loud commotion. Gun shots, explosions, and screams could be heard raging on for the next few minutes, rat-tat-tat-tat boom arggghh. Then, as suddenly as it had begun, everything went deathly silent again. Over the crest of the third dune the man could be seen crawling back, then the second, and finaly the first. When he got back the mans clothes were torn and dirtied, and the man himself was battered, bruised, and cut up. Guy B > "You look terrible, what happened?" Guy A > panting "That was no beef tree?" Guy B > "No?" Guy A > "No. It was a f**king ham bush."
Jackie Fisher	Posted - 2007.11.02 11:44:00 - [34] A huge Scouser is sitting at a bar having a drink. After a while a small guy comes and sits next to him. After a few minutes the little guys asks if he wants a blow job. The Scouser picks up the little guy by the throat, punches him in the face, throws him to the ground then kicks him out of the bar. He then sits down and continues his drink. The barman says ôWow, thatÆs not like you. What did he say?ö The Scouser replies ôNot sure, something about a jobö.
Devoras2 Amarr KIA Corp KIA Alliance	Posted - 2007.11.02 17:05:00 - [35] Originally by: Xonkra a baby seal once walked into a club Yipeh KIA Mother Fecker!
Motokko Minmatar	Posted - 2007.11.02 18:02:00 - [36] Edited by: Motokko on 02/11/2007 18:02:23 Two aussies are stranded in the middle of the ocean in a small row boat with no sign of rescue on the horizon. For days they've been stuck there being constantly fustrated with being thirsty but not being ale to drink from the huge expanse of water surrouding them. Just when they think they are at the end of their tether one them hears something knocking against the side of the boat. He leans over the edge to see a magic lamp in arms reach bobbing up and down in the water. He scoops it up, gives it a rub, and sure enough a genie pops out. "I am the genie of the lamp." it proclaims, "For rescuing me I shall grant you one wish, anything your heart desires". "Right on" the first aussie says and without second thought blurts out "I'd like you to turn the ocean into beer". The two aussies stood there in their boat gaping open mouthed at the sea of golden nectar spreading out in all directions as far as the eye could see. "Awww f'ing great." says the second aussie, "Now we're going to have to p*ss in the boat".
Anwylyd Al'Vos Minmatar LightSpeed Industries	Posted - 2007.11.02 19:22:00 - [37] Originally by: Motokko Edited by: Motokko on 02/11/2007 18:02:23 Two aussies are stranded in the middle of the ocean in a small row boat with no sign of rescue on the horizon. For days they've been stuck there being constantly fustrated with being thirsty but not being ale to drink from the huge expanse of water surrouding them. Just when they think they are at the end of their tether one them hears something knocking against the side of the boat. He leans over the edge to see a magic lamp in arms reach bobbing up and down in the water. He scoops it up, gives it a rub, and sure enough a genie pops out. "I am the genie of the lamp." it proclaims, "For rescuing me I shall grant you one wish, anything your heart desires". "Right on" the first aussie says and without second thought blurts out "I'd like you to turn the ocean into beer". The two aussies stood there in their boat gaping open mouthed at the sea of golden nectar spreading out in all directions as far as the eye could see. "Awww f'ing great." says the second aussie, "Now we're going to have to p*ss in the boat". lmao _ . - Justice, Mercy, and Faith My soul has horizons further away than those of early mornings, deeper darkness than the night
Trek Minmatar N.A.G.A Corporation	Posted - 2007.11.02 23:10:00 - [38] Originally by: ReaperOfSly Best maths joke ever. 2-dimensional serpents ---> Snakes in the plane! Hehehe! crappy nerdy jokes are fun! Here's another one Why are you not allowed to calculate the derivative of something with respect to time? - ddt has been outlawed for years! (I hope I managed to translate the joke to english in an understandable way) --- My other ship is a Reaper
Chainsaw Plankton IDLE GUNS	Posted - 2007.11.02 23:24:00 - [39] Baby do you have a derivative because i would like to get tangent to your curves
Sister Impotentata Caldari State War Academy	Posted - 2007.11.02 23:31:00 - [40] Originally by: Trek Why are you not allowed to calculate the derivative of something with respect to time? - ddt has been outlawed for years! (I hope I managed to translate the joke to english in an understandable way) Understandable enough to give me pain, yes Here's another super duper nerd one: Q: "How is a fork the same as zero?" A: "They're both the sin of pi." ----- TANSTAAFL Originally by: Hostess Deconstructing the Twinkie is like trying to deconstruct the universe.
Trek Minmatar N.A.G.A Corporation	Posted - 2007.11.02 23:51:00 - [41] Originally by: Chainsaw Plankton Baby do you have a derivative because i would like to get tangent to your curves Better be her integral and occupy the space underneath her! Originally by: Sister Impotentata Q: "How is a fork the same as zero?" A: "They're both the sin of pi." It is bad when your first thought is - But sine for pi isn't ze.... oh wait, radians! --- My other ship is a Reaper
Motokko	Posted - 2007.11.03 03:18:00 - [42] Oh god, I cant believe I giggled at the last 4 posts. That's it I'm never getting laid again. ------------------- "Stay Alert! Trust No One! Keep Your Laser Handy!"
Sharupak Minmatar Knights Of the Black Sun Rule of Three	Posted - 2007.11.03 03:22:00 - [43] That did remind me of a pickup line joke... "Hey baby, do you like math?" "Lets say we add you and me, subtract our close, divide your legs and multiply" Then there are other ones not related to math "If I told you you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?" _______________________________________________ RuntimeError: ChainEvent is blocking by design, but you're block trapped. You have'll have to find some alternative means to do Your Thing, dude.
Motokko	Posted - 2007.11.03 03:25:00 - [44] Originally by: Sharupak That did remind me of a pickup line joke... Now if you're talking about pick up lines I've found the following one never fails: "Hey baby, get your coat .... I've got a knife" Ok I think its about time I stopped posting until I sober up. ------------------- "Stay Alert! Trust No One! Keep Your Laser Handy!"
Sharupak Minmatar Knights Of the Black Sun Rule of Three	Posted - 2007.11.03 03:46:00 - [45] Edited by: Sharupak on 03/11/2007 03:45:59 Originally by: Motokko Originally by: Sharupak That did remind me of a pickup line joke... Now if you're talking about pick up lines I've found the following one never fails: "Hey baby, get your coat .... I've got a knife" Ok I think its about time I stopped posting until I sober up. No way man you are doing good. Here is one... "That dress would look fantastic crumpled up on my bedroom floor!" _______________________________________________ RuntimeError: ChainEvent is blocking by design, but you're block trapped. You have'll have to find some alternative means to do Your Thing, dude.
king jks Perkone	Posted - 2007.11.03 04:03:00 - [46] "Would you let me be your derivative so I can be tangent to your curves?" "Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?" <- old classic ...but will it blend?
Chainsaw Plankton IDLE GUNS	Posted - 2007.11.03 04:51:00 - [47] Originally by: Trek Originally by: Chainsaw Plankton Baby do you have a derivative because i would like to get tangent to your curves Better be her integral and occupy the space underneath her! do you think she would like a spin around my x axis?
Scorpyn Caldari Infinitus Odium The Church.	Posted - 2007.11.03 11:17:00 - [48] Originally by: Sharupak "If I told you you had a nice body, would you hold it against mine?" fixed 2007-07-19 20:26
MGrind	Posted - 2007.11.03 19:40:00 - [49] Sadly enough I know (not from experience, but from my learnings) that chloroform won't know someone out (well, a small chance it will), but will mostly make people sick. Diethylether is what will get the job done. And here's my pick up lines I guess I need to post: "Nices shoes... Wanna f***"
Scorpyn Caldari Infinitus Odium The Church.	Posted - 2007.11.03 20:12:00 - [50] Originally by: MGrind And here's my pick up lines I guess I need to post: "Nices shoes... Wanna f***" Another nice one I saw on TV once : "Hi! My bedroom is sound proofed." 2007-07-19 20:26
mendalev Gallente Vitai Lampada	Posted - 2007.11.04 01:27:00 - [51] Why are quantum physicists so bad in bed? Because once they find the position they cant get the momentum, and once they have the momentum they cant get the position.
northwesten Amarr Trinity Corporate Services	Posted - 2007.11.04 07:43:00 - [52] First-year students at Texas A&M's Vet school were receiving their first anatomy class, with a real dead cow. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet. The professor started the class by telling them, 'In Veterinary Medicine it is necessary to have two important qualities as a doctor: The first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the animal body.' For an example, the Professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the butt of the dead cow, withdrew it and stuck it in his mouth. 'Go ahead and do the same thing, ' he told his students. The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes. But eventually took turns sticking a finger in the anal opening of the dead cow and sucking on it. When everyone finished, the Professor looked at them and said, 'The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle finger and sucked on my index finger. Now learn to pay attention. Life's tough, it's even tougher if you're stupid.' ---------------------- sig --------- dont flame My English I am dyslexic.
Irish Whiskey Caldari The Black Fleet	Posted - 2007.11.05 01:22:00 - [53] In no way do I entertain the reality of this joke, but it's still funny... What kind of pizza did the world trade center order? Two plains.
N Ano Red Dwarf Mining Corporation space weaponry and trade	Posted - 2007.11.05 02:40:00 - [54] how many people does it take to screw in a light bulb? 5... 1 to stand on the chair with the light bulb in his hands and the other 4 to turn his chair in circles New Lame convo from eve coming soon tm
Mudkest MetaForge Ekliptika	Posted - 2007.11.05 13:23:00 - [55] Originally by: N Ano how many people does it take to screw in a light bulb? only 2, but needs to be a really big lightbulb ----- GIEV custom ship paint jobs! I want my hello-kitty-kessie! For your safety do not destroy vital testing apparatus
Mr Vee Aliastra	Posted - 2007.11.05 18:19:00 - [56] Why are pirates called pirates? ... Because they arrr.
Anwylyd Al'Vos Minmatar LightSpeed Industries	Posted - 2007.11.05 19:06:00 - [57] Originally by: Irish Whiskey In no way do I entertain the reality of this joke, but it's still funny... No... it really isn't. _ . - Justice, Mercy, and Faith My soul has horizons further away than those of early mornings, deeper darkness than the night

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