Phantom Moonstone
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Posted - 2007.11.07 15:19:00 -
[1]
N'jo Kampala:
Have you heard of this "recruitment channel"
Phantom Moonstone:
Yes sire...and we don't stand a chance there.
N'jo Kampala:
Why not?
Phantom Moonstone:
Because...recruitment is a very special place,
filled with very special people,
people who can recruit and play, often at the same time!
They are a different people, a multi-talented people,
a people...who need people...and who are, in many ways, the
luckiest people in...the world. I'm sorry friend, but we don't stand a chance.
N'jo Kampala:
But why?
Phantom Moonstone:
Well...let me put it like this.
In any great adventure,
that you don't want to lose,
victory depends upon the poeple that you choose.
So, listen, N'jo, closely to this news:
We won't succeed in Eve,
If we don't have any Jews.
You may have the finest ships,
Fill the frigs with T2 bits,
You may have the coolest ops and best ore.
You could dance and you could sing,
But I'm sorry, N'jo mate,
You'll hear no cheers,
Just lots and lots of boos.
ENSEMBLE:
Boo.
Phantom Moonstone:
You could have have Titan's by the score
Which our allies adore,
You may even have some carriers or faction!,
Though you've t1 and isk instead,
You may have unlevened bread?,
But I tell you, you are dead,
If you don't have any Jews.
They won't care if we're witty,
or all our ships looks pretty,
They'll simply say it's ****ty and profuse.
Nobody will come, sir,
If it's not kosher then no corp, sir,
Even goyem won't be dim enough to choose!
Put on ops that make rats flee,
With lots of ships in combat gear.
The recruits they just won't care, sir,
As long as you don't dare, sir,
To recruit in eve-online,
If you don't have any Jews.
You may have dramatic combat,
with lots of horrid fighting,
You may even have some miners sing the blues!
Your corp has fine boys,
But sadly we're all goys,
And that freighter you call bessy you must lose.
So, dispite your pretty crew,
and awesome ships in meanass kit,
and the most impressive roids you use...
You may have dancing mana-mano,
You may bring on a piano,
But they will not give a damn-o
If you don't have any Jews!
its sad but you just haven't got a chance,
If you don't have a Jew,
All of your investments you are going to lose!
There's a very small percentile,
Who enjoys a dancing gentile,
I'm sad to be the one with this bad news!
But never mind your pvp,
You just won't succeed in eve-online,
No you won't succeed in recruitment,
If you don't have any Jews!
N'jo, can you hear me?
To get along on eve,
To make a corp on eve,
To hit the top in eve and not lose,
I tell you, N'jo Mate,
There is one essential thing...
There simply must be, simply must be Jews.
There simply must be,
N'jo trust me,
Simply must be Jews.
Major props to the Monty Python guys who wrote the original its genius unlike mine. (but are covers every really better than the original? ok yes some are).
Oh by the way Kampala is recruiting (Jew's very welcome!).
http://oldforums.eveonline.com/?a=topic&threadID=582085
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