MadMuppet
Kerguelen Station
243
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Posted - 2012.04.15 00:22:00 -
[1] - Quote
Are you a paranoid miner?
Do you spend all your time mining asteroids?
Do you fear the upcoming 'Hulkageddon'?
Then have I got a message for you:
"Don't Panic!"
Yes! For just a few seconds stop and turn on your brain and consider the size of the EVE universe. Pretty damn big isn't it?
"But Muppet, they know where I mine!"
Well friend, let point your asteroid shaped burned retinas to this map... See this, this, and this? Those are called TRADE HUBS. If you are within four jumps of them, Hulkageddon or not, you are asking to get ganked.
"But if I go more than four jumps from the trade hub we waste time hauling or have our profits cut!"
You are aware that there are NPC manufacturing hubs outside of four jumps of the trade hubs right? You can sell your minerals or metals there and actually make a decent profit right?
"But Muppet, it is my money and I want it now!"
(sigh) Please just get away from the trade hubs.
"But Muppet, we are more than four jumps from the trade hubs!"
Ok, what race controls your region?
"Caldari of course"
OK, rule two: stay out of Caldari space, for some reason gankers LOVE Caldari. All I can figure is that they love snails for dinner but spellcheck using a Ouija board.
"But Muppet, I spent a lot of isk for this ship and a Tornado can pop it in a single shot!"
The is EVE idiot. If they REALLY want to kill you they can. Fit a tank and pay attention!
"But Muppet, if I fit a tank I can't mine as much or haul as much, it will hurt my profits!"
FUKUNG is down you idiot, you can still pay attention can't you?
"But Muppet, if I have to pay attention I might miss the action filled scene of my movie. You don't expect me to actually pay attention to mining do you?"
(sigh) No, I expect you to die. I would like to thank you in advance for helping drawing fire away from the other miners during this event. I must commend you in your efforts to be in several kill mails during Hulkageddon, you patronage is the sign of a true devotee of EVE Online.
I don't always finish my commentary, but when I do |