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Ambriel Cherri
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Posted - 2008.01.09 21:03:00 -
[1]
A bubbly redhead appears on the comm, her bright smile infectuous, her green eyes sparkling. She waves and then begins to speak, her voice a bit like sweet candy.
"HI! I'm Ambriel Cherri....but you can call me Ambi or Cherri, don' matter to me! Anyway, i'm new to this piloting thing, only been at it about a day and a half. I've met some nice people....and some not so nice people. But that's not why i'm here. I wanna talk about cake! Yes, cake. Hehe. You'll understand why when I explain it!"
The girl then shifts and zooms the camera on a tall, 4-tiered layer cake with white and pink icing in swirling designs.
"Now....everyone loves cake. Why? Because it's sweet, pretty, fluffy, and diverse. You can have sooo many cakes it'd be insane! But Everyone can enjoy a cake. no matter the style, the flavors, everyone can agree on cake. So why am I talking about it? Cuz."
She zooms th camera back on herself, her cheery grin and bright face coming back into view.
"So what I wanna say is this....if you all would just...stop fighting, arguing, and sit down, enjoy some cake, and smile, this place would be much better! But people say....'Who's gonna make the cake?' Well...me, and anyone that wants to help! I wanna make cake for everyone. That way, even if you have a bad day, something can bring a smile to your face. All it takes is a piece of cake!"
She then turns and pulls a plate in front of her, a slice of the aforementioned cake on it. she grins and takes a bite and let's out a satisfied 'mmmmm'.
"See? Cake is yummy. Now...prolly thinking i'm crazy, loopy, or whatever, but i'm offering a simple and fun solution to bickering. If people would just sit for some cake for ten minutes, that'd be ten minutes less of bloodshed and fighting. Cake doesn't kill people. It makes people smile. I want you all to smile and have some cake!"
She takes one more bite of her cake before waving at the camera. The feed ends.
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CCP Mitnal
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Posted - 2008.01.09 22:16:00 -
[2]
Hello Ambriel.
We overseers of the galnet are somewhat confused by your recollections of the broadcast you refer to.
You see, we have searched through the archives and have yet to find a copy of program you refer to.
In short, it is with great sadness I have to report that the cake is a lie.
Mitnal,
Community Representative
EVE Online
CCP Games
Email/Netfang |
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Spoon Thumb
Paladin Imperium
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Posted - 2008.01.09 22:41:00 -
[3]
I was made fun of at my previous workplace for my inability to produce "Dark Blood" variety of cake, despite being an otherwise competent amateur baker
I believe members of Sylph alliance also make cake. But they also kill people...
Khaldari
khanidpublic: RP channel for Kingdom loyalists
Recruiting |
Ambriel Cherri
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Posted - 2008.01.09 22:53:00 -
[4]
What program.....? and cake isn't a lie.....
Looks baffled and confused.
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Kylegar
Caldari
Shadow Of The Light
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Posted - 2008.01.09 23:01:00 -
[5]
 Originally by: CCP Mitnal
Hello Ambriel.
We overseers of the galnet are somewhat confused by your recollections of the broadcast you refer to.
You see, we have searched through the archives and have yet to find a copy of program you refer to.
In short, it is with great sadness I have to report that the cake is a lie.
I am happy to inform you, Mitnal, that you are made of win.
--
Originally by: CCP Ginger
No sex changes.
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Arelius Sarum
Amarr
Exodus.
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Posted - 2008.01.09 23:22:00 -
[6]
Lay off the blue pills.
Per Ardua ad Astra - Through Adversity, to the Stars
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Ambriel Cherri
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Posted - 2008.01.09 23:40:00 -
[7]
Blue pills....? what's those?
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The Herrick
Gallente
Eve University
Ivy League
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Posted - 2008.01.10 00:08:00 -
[8]
Aww come on guys cut her some slack, it is possible to have genuinely nice, cheery people in space ya' know? Anyway I'd love to take some time off to have a bit of cake with you even if the rest of these grumpy old sods don't.
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Asp Rose
Minmatar
Si chou zhi lu
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Posted - 2008.01.10 00:09:00 -
[9]
I would have accused the cake of being a lie as well, but I was beat to it. Instead, I will fill in the rest of Mitnal's epic win and declare that Ambriel is a trap.
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Ambriel Cherri
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Posted - 2008.01.10 00:11:00 -
[10]
Pouts at the reactions, though smiles when Herrick responds.
Geeze...so mean....i'm not a trap..don' do drugs....none of that.....
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Stitcher
Caldari
legion of qui
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Posted - 2008.01.10 01:51:00 -
[11]
Heh... you're quite right, the world could use more cake.
I try to save it for special occasions, though. It's hard enough staying in shape when your professional life is spent floating in hydrostatic gel as it is....
That's my remedy for aggression, actually - a healthy injection of exercise-induced endorphins into your system every other day.
Anyway, welcome to the life of a pod pilot, Ms. Cherri. I hope your campaign to bring confectionary to the capsuleer collective works out for you.
-
Verin "Stitcher" Tarn-Hakatain. |
Arelius Sarum
Amarr
Exodus.
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Posted - 2008.01.10 02:14:00 -
[12]
She is attempting to bring warmth to the cold space. Kill her before she succeeds!!
Per Ardua ad Astra - Through Adversity, to the Stars
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Gaven Lok'ri
Amarr
PIE Inc.
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Posted - 2008.01.10 02:23:00 -
[13]
I suggest you get in contact with these people.
http://oldforums.eveonline.com/?a=topic&threadID=668438
That is all.
Deus Vult!
PIE Website Public Channel: 'PIE Public' |
Mortim
Minmatar
Madison Industrial Co.
Sylph Alliance
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Posted - 2008.01.10 02:30:00 -
[14]
Edited by: Mortim on 10/01/2008 02:33:18
As a member of Sylph Alliance nearing his end of term as Vice-President, I can bestow on you some simple facts.
Firstly, cake, manufactured and packaged under it's brand label 'Kaik' by yours truly, is indeed all the things you describe. It's sweet, fluffy and diverse enough to be labelled Gallentean Housewife's Number 1 Stain Remover for the third time running.
But with Kaik, or cake if you insist, comes responsibility. You assume that everyone likes cake, and such an assumption is true, all races and classes adore it, our particular brand is banned from two regions due to it's intoxicating effect. It's this level of desire that presents a problem, all too familiar within our consumer base, and even known throughout those areas our culinary skills do not reach (The Sourlands)
When two tribes go to war, Kaik is pretty much all you can score. Why should we sit down and munch upon that heavenly food in an equal fashion? We're clearly superior to our foes, and therefore during such peace time they should have significantly less Kaik.
Not our thoughts, but the thoughts of certain fringe factions out there. Pastry Pirates if you will. Their aim has been to steal Kaik from their rightful owners, quickly losing sight of why they did so, leading to extremist behaviour such as it's unnecessary destruction.
We provide the Kaik to the righteous, and protect it from these starved fools, seeking out our opportunities to steal back any looted resources.
Cake is real, Kaik more-so. But your mysterious tipster is correct in some aspects. The consideration of Cake as a universal panacea IS indeed a lie. It's far from it, it's the stuff poor men relish and rich men crave. The stuff that the unscrupulous will take by any means purely for it's presence, and the knowledge that they alone hold it.
So I applaud your efforts at the reinvigoration of what tacticians have long reffered to as the 'Cake Conundrum', but I'm afraid to inform you that in this business it takes more than a utopian post to see reason with some of the, frankly barbaric, inhabitants the stretches of space has to offer.
Oh and despite the nobel aims, Sylph has no intention to let go of it's substantial lead in the Confectionary Empire race. Take it or leave it, we're the upper crust of Kaik purveyors.
Mort
Renegade Baker
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Kailea Shandrasekkar
Caldari
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Posted - 2008.01.10 02:33:00 -
[15]
*The videofeed shows Kailea at her family's Villa. From her balcony, a large promenade can be seen.*
HSWD's Board of Directors believes this campaign from ms. Cherri will bring a much-needed measure of satisfaction and peace to the EVE cluster, and i'm here in order to show our support.
*An waiter enters the scene, and hands Kailea a plate with a slice of cake. She then takes a small bite from it.*
mmmmmmmm.
*she licks her fingers with delight, closing her eyes.*
It's so delicious and... moist.
*As she continues to enjoy the cake, the videofeed slowly fades to black.*
.
The price demanded for the most precious of all things is life itself - ultimate cost for perfect value. |
Shintoko Akahoshi
Omerta Syndicate
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Posted - 2008.01.10 03:08:00 -
[16]
It's hard to overstate my satisfaction.
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Mad Scorpion
Minmatar
Masuat'aa Matari
Ushra'Khan
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Posted - 2008.01.10 04:01:00 -
[17]
Edited by: Mad Scorpion on 10/01/2008 04:03:25
What kind of cake is it?
If it's an Amarr cake it was made by slaves and as such I have to destroy it.
If you are Amarr and use slaves I have to hunt you down.
If it's a Caldari cake you will need 8 forms filed in triplicate to get permission to cut it.
If it's a Gallente cake the pretty swirls on the cake will begin spinning by themselves.
If it's a Minmatar cake it can't be a happy cake with all of our people still in slavery.
If it's an Ammatar cake it will cut you first.
If it's a Khanid cake it will refuse to be cut and begin it's own pantry.
PS: If it is an Amarr cake, someone will smash it and it will take 2 years to figure who did it and maybe another 2 years to get a new cake.
What kind of cake is it????
:)
Mad Scorpion |
Hae t'Redd
Baptism oF Fire
VENOM Alliance
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Posted - 2008.01.10 04:27:00 -
[18]
Edited by: Hae t''Redd on 10/01/2008 04:34:55
Cake (Kaik) is OK but Pie is better. Rumour is the cake is a lie, anyway.
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Garion Avarr
Amarr
Zero Zero Traders
The Colbert Nation
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Posted - 2008.01.10 07:50:00 -
[19]
If there is any profit to be made in selling this cake, rest assured, I will sell it. Actual existance of cake nonwithstanding -- if it turns out to be a lie, then it will simply be the idea of the cake that I sell.
________________________________
This is not a signature. |
Thuul'Khalat
Gallente
Phoenix Wing
Acheron Federation
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Posted - 2008.01.10 07:50:00 -
[20]
PIE!
---
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Jon Engel
APEX Unlimited
APEX Conglomerate
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Posted - 2008.01.10 09:06:00 -
[21]
I turn cake into poo!
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Myrhial Arkenath
Caldari
APEX Unlimited
APEX Conglomerate
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Posted - 2008.01.10 09:56:00 -
[22]
Warning: Research on product named "cake" shows that frequent consumption of previous mentioned product may lead to the consumer no longer fitting in his/her pod.
__________
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Stitcher
Caldari
legion of qui
Black Star Alliance
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Posted - 2008.01.10 11:26:00 -
[23]
Originally by: Mad Scorpion
Edited by: Mad Scorpion on 10/01/2008 04:03:25
What kind of cake is it?
If it's an Amarr cake it was made by slaves and as such I have to destroy it.
If you are Amarr and use slaves I have to hunt you down.
If it's a Caldari cake you will need 8 forms filed in triplicate to get permission to cut it.
If it's a Gallente cake the pretty swirls on the cake will begin spinning by themselves.
If it's a Minmatar cake it can't be a happy cake with all of our people still in slavery.
If it's an Ammatar cake it will cut you first.
If it's a Khanid cake it will refuse to be cut and begin it's own pantry.
PS: If it is an Amarr cake, someone will smash it and it will take 2 years to figure who did it and maybe another 2 years to get a new cake.
What kind of cake is it????
:)
If it's a Jovian cake, it will be incredibly advance, but for some reason you'll die of boredom.
If it's a Guristas cake then it is violently opposed to all Caldari cakes, and will raid the muffins for profit.
If its an Angel Cartel cake, then it combines all the best aspects of Jovian and Minmatar cakes.
If it's a Sansha's Nation cake, then the other cakes will gang up and destroy it, leaving crumbs everywhere.
If it's a Serpentis cake, it will be like Gallente cakes, but darker, shinier, and laced with Crystal Egg.
-
Verin "Stitcher" Tarn-Hakatain. |
Mad Scorpion
Minmatar
Masuat'aa Matari
Ushra'Khan
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Posted - 2008.01.10 12:21:00 -
[24]
Nice add-ons Stitcher
Mad Scorpion |
Hooch Flux
Caldari
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Posted - 2008.01.10 13:43:00 -
[25]
Edited by: Hooch Flux on 10/01/2008 13:45:27
<<Planetside Uplink [Unregistered]-Audio Only>>
>mumble...mumble
>Bloody Cake! You work and work and where's the cake?
>Then some broad comes along, going on about how great cake is....
>Face it, it's all a lie...She's just trying to get someone to do something for her, yeah, that's it. And then she'll promise Cake, >and we all know how that ends!
>Know this Ambriel Cherri, You cannot sway Hooch Flux with your sweet, fluffy confectionary!
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>But I do like cookies!
I say prep for dustoff, nuke the site from orbit...
Only way to be sure! |
Evanda Char
Minmatar
Re-Awakened Technologies Inc
Electus Matari
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Posted - 2008.01.10 14:11:00 -
[26]
Can the next one be chocolate please? With chocolate chips? And chocolate buttercream. And chocolate sprinkles on top. And no vitoc in it please - the last cake I was sent had to be detonated by security.
-Eva-
Electus Matari - taking it one bad guy at a time |
Eleana Tomelac
Gallente
Through the Looking Glass
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Posted - 2008.01.10 14:13:00 -
[27]
Edited by: Eleana Tomelac on 10/01/2008 14:13:22
If the cake is a lie, how will we have fun on more non-birthdays tea parties with the mad hatter, the white rabbit, the cheshire cat, the dark alice and mr dodo?
That's what we do at my corporation's HQ...
You could bake some interesting cakes if one of our corp member gives you the right ingredients!
--
Pocket drone carriers (tm) enthousiast !
Assault Frigates MK II |
Hooch Flux
Caldari
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Posted - 2008.01.10 14:24:00 -
[28]
Originally by: Eleana Tomelac
Edited by: Eleana Tomelac on 10/01/2008 14:13:22
If the cake is a lie, how will we have fun on more non-birthdays tea parties with the mad hatter, the white rabbit, the cheshire cat, the dark alice and mr dodo?
That's what we do at my corporation's HQ...
You could bake some interesting cakes if one of our corp member gives you the right ingredients!
You can eat lies on non-birthdays!
I say prep for dustoff, nuke the site from orbit...
Only way to be sure! |
Lord Berk
Amarr
Delictum 23216
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Posted - 2008.01.10 15:16:00 -
[29]
If it is an Amarr cake, it is superior to all others and blessed by God.
If it is a Caldari cake, it was made in the most effective manner and fits the role expected of cake perfectly. It may be placed on the same table as Amarr cakes.
If it is a Gallente cake, it should be destroyed, as it is a heathen product from heathen hands.
If it is a Minmatar cake, it shall have to be examined closely, only by cutting into this cake can you know the true quality. Some cakes may be placed on the table, others may have to be remade.
If it is an Ammatar cake, it shall go on the table alongside the Amarr and Caldari cakes for it knows what it is to be a cake, and strives towards that goal.
If it is a Khanid cake, it should be inspected for the erroneous flaw that made it different than that of the superior cakes. That flaw should be removed.
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Eleana Tomelac
Gallente
Through the Looking Glass
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Posted - 2008.01.10 17:21:00 -
[30]
I think I'll stick to gallente cakes for the non-birthday parties...
Still, the mad hatter is amarr, the cheshire cat is caldari, dark alice is caldari and mr dodo is gallente, the white rabbit is gallente, I wonder which cake they would eat.
--
Pocket drone carriers (tm) enthousiast !
Assault Frigates MK II |
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