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Atomos Darksun Infortunatus Eventus	Posted - 2008.07.03 18:51:00 - [31] Do you want to hear a long joke? Jooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooke. Originally by: Amoxin My vent is talking to me in a devil voice... Atomos' Guide to Forum Flaming
Xonkra Gallente	Posted - 2008.07.03 19:02:00 - [32] Originally by: Straight Chillen Your Mommas' Soo Fat! BoB thought she was a region and claimed her You're so ugly someone tried to salvage you Its great using old memes isn't it?
The TX Gallente Earth Inc. Zeta Tau Epsilon	Posted - 2008.07.03 20:35:00 - [33] A man with a bald head and a wooden leg is invited to a Xmas fancy dress party. He doesn't know what to wear to hide his head and his wooden leg, so he writes to a fancy dress company to explain his problem. A few days later he receives a parcel with a note: Dear Sir, Please find enclosed a Pirate's outfit. The spotted handkerchief will cover your bald head and with your wooden leg you will be just right as a Pirate. The man is offended that the outfit emphasizes his disability, so he writes a letter of complaint. A week passes and he receives another parcel and note: Dear Sir, Sorry about the previous parcel. Please find enclosed a monk's habit. The long robe will cover your wooden leg and with your bald head you will really look the part. The man is really incandescent with rage now, because the company has gone from emphasizing his wooden leg to drawing attention to his bald head. So he writes a really strong letter of complaint. A few days later he gets a very small parcel from the company with the accompanying letter: Dear Sir, Please find enclosed a tin of Golden Syrup. We suggest you pour the tin of Golden Syrup over your bald head, stick your wooden leg up your arse and go as a toffee apple. -------------------- [Signature] [/Signature]
Arvald Caldari Aurora Acclivitous Paxton Federation	Posted - 2008.07.03 20:46:00 - [34] some things that people say or do make you stop and think.....however things that i say and do make you stop and think "what the hell...." Originally by: Xanos Blackpaw Stealthbomber combat (or as i like to call it: Just because you *are* paranoid don't mean there isnt a invisible demon about to eat your face)
Krxon Blade	Posted - 2008.07.03 22:19:00 - [35] How do you call 8 x larger Hobbit? Hobbyte! -- Eve battle simulator EVE character creator Eve offline game
corporal hicks Gallente Imperium Technologies	Posted - 2008.07.04 00:14:00 - [36] Did you hear about the magic tractor? It drove down a lane and turned into a field! What happens to the bikes after the Tour de france? there recycled! how many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they start a support group called coping with darkness! ( ok that one might not be stupid, but it is funny ) " Stay Frosty "
Culmen Caldari Allied Tactical Unit Scalar Federation	Posted - 2008.07.04 01:23:00 - [37] A man walks into a psychiatrist office wearing nothing but clear plastic wrap around his gonads the psychiatrist says "I can clearly see your(you're) nuts" _____________________________________________________ Why do i even need a sig?
Lance Fighter Amarr	Posted - 2008.07.04 04:53:00 - [38] Stolen from some guy's sig on a different forum... A CNN reporter recently asked a US marine what he felt when he shot down insurgents. The marine shrugged and replied "recoil"
Sueme Sideways	Posted - 2008.07.09 11:04:00 - [39] Last night I felt a bit hungry so i rang up Domino's and asked for a thin and crusty supreme....... ........ couldn't believe my eyes when i opened the box and they'd sent me Diana Ross.
Deathhawk Ore Mongers Black Hand.	Posted - 2008.07.09 11:22:00 - [40] whats brown and sticky? a stick..
ReaperOfSly Gallente Lyrus Associates The Star Fraction	Posted - 2008.07.09 11:29:00 - [41] Originally by: corporal hicks how many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they start a support group called coping with darkness! ( ok that one might not be stupid, but it is funny ) You're doing it wrong - don't mangle a perfectly good joke. How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? It's a trick question - feminists can't change anything. __________________________ Quote: ...bored, skint, no charter, and a ship that looks like an explosion in a girder factory...
Cashflow Broker	Posted - 2008.07.16 15:20:00 - [42] So...this boys mom gets a machine that makes babys Right, so everything is setup at home, but she has to leave and thus tells her boy: Dont touch it!!!! Right....so the boy is very curious about the big green button that reads: create a baby. So he start everything up and starts creating baby`s. One `white` baby after the other exits the machine...but then a `black` baby appears. With full surprise the boy says: Damn...I burned that one. ps: I am not a racist:P I just like this joke :P pps: it sounds sooooo much better in Hungarian
Slade Trillgon Siorai Iontach Brotherhood of the Spider	Posted - 2008.07.16 15:24:00 - [43] Edited by: Slade Trillgon on 16/07/2008 15:24:50 What do you have when a cow is in an earthquake? . . . . . . A milkshake What do you have when a cow falls to its side? . . . . . . Groundbeef Thankyou agin. Tickets for the next show on sale for 100,000,000 isk each. Slade "I am not saying there should be capital punishment for stupidity, but why can`t we just take the safety labels off everything and let the problem fix its self"
Kyrall Deep Core Mining Inc.	Posted - 2008.07.16 15:29:00 - [44] I crashed into someone's car the other day, they came up to my window, and it turned out that they were a midget. His first words were: "I'm not happy you know." I replied: "So which one are you then?" PS: don't make stupid midget jokes; they aren't big and they aren't clever... - Originally by: Tamia Clant in a Jenny Spitfire thread There was a flame here, but it ran out of oxygen.
Korran Minare Gallente Spaced Cowboys	Posted - 2008.07.16 16:32:00 - [45] Whats the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road? Theres skid marks in front of the dog Originally by: Korran Minare what would you put on space pizza anyway???? Support Flagships
Arvald Caldari Ninja's N Pirate's	Posted - 2008.07.16 16:33:00 - [46] Originally by: Kyrall PS: don't make stupid midget jokes; they aren't big and they aren't clever... oh god now the entire class is staring at me Originally by: Siddy APERANTLY GEED PEE VEE PEE PLAYAS!!111 im in your forums, derailing your threads
Kyanzes Amarr Utopian Research I.E.L. The ENTITY.	Posted - 2008.07.16 16:34:00 - [47] Originally by: Arvald Originally by: Kyrall PS: don't make stupid midget jokes; they aren't big and they aren't clever... oh god now the entire class is staring at me Why, you're a midget? --------------------------------------------- GET TO THE CHOPPA!!! The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
The TX Gallente Earth Inc.	Posted - 2008.07.16 16:40:00 - [48] A bloke drove past a woman driving the opposite way. The man leaned out his window and shouted "COW!". The woman, somewhat angry, shouted back "PR!CK", drove round the corner, and hit a cow. If only woman would listen. -------------------- [Signature] [/Signature]
Kyanzes Amarr Utopian Research I.E.L. The ENTITY.	Posted - 2008.07.16 16:53:00 - [49] Originally by: The TX A bloke drove past a woman driving the opposite way. The man leaned out his window and shouted "COW!". The woman, somewhat angry, shouted back "PR!CK", drove round the corner, and hit a cow. If only woman would listen. --------------------------------------------- GET TO THE CHOPPA!!! The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
My Myself	Posted - 2008.07.16 20:18:00 - [50] Originally by: Kyanzes Originally by: The TX A bloke drove past a woman driving the opposite way. The man leaned out his window and shouted "COW!". The woman, somewhat angry, shouted back "PR!CK", drove round the corner, and hit a cow. If only woman would listen. epic
Zapp Brenigan Caldari Ishukone Black Watch	Posted - 2008.07.16 20:49:00 - [51] Edited by: Zapp Brenigan on 16/07/2008 20:51:05 A string walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender looks at the string and says,"Get the hell out of here, we don't serve strings." The string walks out and thinks about it, then ties himself up, and messes up his ends. The string walks back into the bar and orders another drink. The bartender looks at him and says,"Hey aren't you that string I just threw out of here?" The strings says,"Nope I'm a frayed knot." A drunk walks into a bar and shouts,"I'm buying everyone a drink barkeep, and get yourself one too!" Everyone cheers and rushes to the bar for their free drink. As the barkeep finishes pouring the round he asks the drunk for the money to pay for all the drinks. The drunk says,"Money, I haven't got any." The barkeep is furious and tosses the drunk out. About 10 minutes later the drunk walks back in and shouts,,"I'm buying everyone a drink barkeep!" The barkeep snears at the drunk and says,"What no drink for me this time." The drunk says,"Hell no, you get mean when you drink."
ReaperOfSly Gallente Lyrus Associates The Star Fraction	Posted - 2008.07.16 21:04:00 - [52] Three men walk into a pub. One of them is a little bit thick, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability. (Thanks, Bill Bailey) __________________________ Quote: ...bored, skint, no charter, and a ship that looks like an explosion in a girder factory...
hired goon Infinite Improbability Inc Mostly Harmless	Posted - 2008.07.16 21:36:00 - [53] What's grey and can't climb trees? -A carpark. What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? -Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, Michael Jackson is a suspected child molester. A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face?", to which the horse replies "cancer". What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a whole worm wiggling around? -The holocaust What do you call a black man flying a plane? -A pilot you racist. -omg-
Kyanzes Amarr Utopian Research I.E.L. The ENTITY.	Posted - 2008.07.16 22:11:00 - [54] The little Hans goes to school. First class is history. The teacher gives an elongated speech about the Second World War. Finally she asks: "Anyone here lost relatives in the war?" Hans puts his hand in the air. "My grandfather died in Birkenau." The teacher nods understandingly: "Class, please stand up and show our respect with one minute of silence." As the minute is past the teacher asks: "How did he exactly die?" Hans proudly: "He was drunk and fell from a watchtower!" --------------------------------------------- GET TO THE CHOPPA!!! The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Kyrall Deep Core Mining Inc.	Posted - 2008.07.17 00:02:00 - [55] On returning to school, Billy's teacher was asking the class what they had been doing in their holidays. She always left him till last hoping they would run out of time, as he's a bit of a rascal and she'd really rather not find out what he did. Once everyone else had had their turn, she couldn't put it off any longer and he was obviously dying to tell the class, so she decided to risk it: "I was shoving firecrackers up frogs bums, miss". "Rectum, Billy" "It sure did miss, it blew their heads off!" - Originally by: Tamia Clant in a Jenny Spitfire thread There was a flame here, but it ran out of oxygen.
Helix Fluxx Caldari Contempo Enterprises	Posted - 2008.07.17 07:34:00 - [56] Why do elephants have four feet? Because they'd look silly with just the six inches.
GulGarak	Posted - 2008.07.17 08:20:00 - [57] Originally by: Kyrall On returning to school, Billy's teacher was asking the class what they had been doing in their holidays. She always left him till last hoping they would run out of time, as he's a bit of a rascal and she'd really rather not find out what he did. Once everyone else had had their turn, she couldn't put it off any longer and he was obviously dying to tell the class, so she decided to risk it: "I was shoving firecrackers up frogs bums, miss". "Rectum, Billy" "It sure did miss, it blew their heads off!"
Mary Me'Belle	Posted - 2008.07.17 13:31:00 - [58] Originally by: Bom Bast My dad used to tell me this stupid one... "I used to go hiking naked through the woods. They called my the three legged hiker." Is that going to get me banned? heh, reminds me of my dad, he had pretty big beer gut so he would tell the following joke I went to the doctor and he told me that i would have to loose twenty pounds for my health, so I said, "Well, lets get it done then" Doctor says "Get what done?" in a puzzled tone. "Circumcise me"
Captain Bringdown Minmatar Rage Against the Answering Machine	Posted - 2008.07.17 14:19:00 - [59] Late last Saturday night, a young chap was walking home from the pub. It was a cold, wet, windy evening, and he was tired and freezing. Most of the streetlights in the area were broken, and the silence was only Broken by the occasional sound of a stray cat sifting through a Dustbin. Suddenly he heard a strange noise ... BUMP BUMP Startled, he turned around. To his amazement, through the driving rain He saw the faint outline of a large box turning into his road. BUMP BUMP He froze to the spot. He couldn't believe his eyes. As the box Approached from the shadows, he was able to make out its shape more Clearly. It was a coffin. Not wanting anything to do with this, he put His head down and started walking briskly home. BUMP BUMP The coffin was gaining on him. He started walking faster......... The coffin was closing with his every step. He started to jog, but he Heard the coffin speed up after him ... BUMP BUMP BUMP He started to sprint, but so did the coffin ....... BUMP BUMP BUMP BUMP Eventually he made it to his front door, but he knew the coffin was Only seconds behind. Fumbling around in his pocket, he pulled out his Keys, His hand trembling, he managed to open the lock. He dived inside, Slamming the front door behind him. He shot into his front room, and Slumped into his comfy chair. Suddenly there was a loud crash, as the coffin smashed its way through The front door. The force of the impact broke the lock off the coffin Allowing the lid to swing freely on its rusty hinges as it continued Its chase .. BUMP... SCREECH .. BUMP... SCREECH... In horror the young lad fled again, as fast as his shaking legs could Take him. He bolted upstairs to the bathroom and locked the door ... BUMP... SCREECH .. HOP... BUMP... SCREECH ... HOP... The coffin again gave chase up the stairs, across the landing and Launched itself at the bathroom door. With an almighty smash, the Bathroom door flew off its hinges ... The coffin stood in the doorway, then started to approach the young Terrified lad. BUMP... SCREECH .. BUMP... SCREECH... In a last ditch attempt to save his skin, he reached for his bathroom Cabinet ... He grabbed a bar of Imperial Leather soap and threw it at The coffin ... still it came ........ BUMP... SCREECH .. BUMP... SCREECH... He grabbed his can of Lynx deodorant and threw it ... still it Came...... BUMP... SCREECH .. BUMP... SCREECH... He grabbed his first aid kit and threw it ... still it came...... BUMP... SCREECH .. BUMP... SCREECH... He grabbed some Benylin cough mixture and threw it ... The coffin stopped.
Helios Nero	Posted - 2008.07.17 20:00:00 - [60] Edited by: Helios Nero on 17/07/2008 20:00:59 A man walked into a bar and sits down for a drink. Shortly after, a one-eyed, peg-legged, hook-handed pirate walked in and sits down next to the man. Being curious, the man asked the pirate what had happened. The pirate refused to talk. "I'll buy you a beer" offered the man. "Okay" said the pirate. The man bought the pirate a beer and asked how the pirate had gotten his peg-leg. The pirate answered: "Well, I was out at sea and a giant whale swam on board and bit it, Arrr" Satisfied, but still curious, the man bought the pirate another drink. He then asked: "How did you get that hook?". The pirate answered: "I was fighting off a boarding party when my hand was slashed off". The was was happy with the answer, but still wanted to know about the eyepatch. He bought the pirate another beer and asked: "So, how did you get that patch." The pirate was reluctant to answer but eventually did: "Well, I was looking up at the sky one day and a seagull came overhead and ****ed on my face." The man was confused. "that doesn't really answer my question", said the man. The pirate responded: Well, at that time, my hook was only a week old"

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