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James 315
GoonFleet
GoonSwarm
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Posted - 2008.08.26 17:08:00 -
[1]
Hmmm?
Oh, hello again, gentle CAOD reader. I was just about to step out. Is it that time again so soon? Goodness. Well, I suppose I could take a few moments to speak with you about Eve.
I'd like to say a few words about this whole "MAX" business. I can't tell you the number of times people have asked me what the deal is with BoB and its bizarre MAX campaign. Well, it's really quite simple. The MAX campaign is not bizarre. Like everything else BoB does, there is a clear logic to it. Everything BoB does has a purpose, and most of the time the purpose is to hide their insecurities and make themselves appear greater than they actually are. This time, however, the purpose... No, wait, on second thought, it's the same this time, too.
As the historian of Eve Online, it is my responsibility to make certain judgments so that ordinary people can understand the developments of the Eve universe and put them in their proper context. I take this responsibility very seriously. If for any reason I were unable to objectively and intelligently evaluate the universe and set aside my personal biases, I would cease posting in CAOD immediately. Fortunately, I have no biases, so rather than concerning myself with such things, I just let the posts fly.
Today, I will explain why the MAX campaign has doomed BoB's reputation (such as it was) forever and marks a turning point in the history of Eve. We now live in, for lack of a better term, the post-BoB era of Eve. When SirMolle announced the MAX campaign, he admitted, for the first time, the defeat of his old alliance and its descent into irrelevance.
To understand why this is the case, one need simply ask oneself (or better yet, me, since I actually know the answer) why BoB created the "MAX" concept in the first place. Some people will tell you that BoB was looking for an excuse to stop the grind of fighting the Goons. Others will say that BoB wanted to put a label on the standard "pick a region and try to conquer it" mode of play so that they could take credit for yet another thing in Eve they didn't actually create. And still others will say that BoB simply wanted attention, as it always does.
These are all decent answers, but they are not the correct one. The reason why BoB attached itself to the name "MAX" is because the name "BoB" no longer inspires the fear it once did. Once upon a time, in the pre-YACAODI1MAC era, people trembled at the thought of being attacked by BoB. That simple, three-letter name would make the leader of any alliance blanch. Since it no longer does, BoB needed a new three-letter name to inspire fear. Hence, "MAX."
After months of wearying defeat, bad press, territorial loss and mockery-inspiring additions of Shinra-style corps, SirMolle was sick of BoB. In his heart, he really wanted to recreate BoB under a new name. But that would be an admission of defeat. Instead, SirMolle decided he would rename BoB without actually taking a new name.
But the disguise failed. History would forever record the MAX campaign as the marker of BoB's spiritual death. It was also really lame.
And now for our latest update on the events that have taken place since my last update on the events that had taken place after previous updates on events that took place.
* Band of Brothers regained control of the Period Basis region.
* Band of Brothers regained control of the Querious region.
* Band of Brothers took control of part of the Pure Blind region.
* Band of Brothers took control of part of the Fade region.
* Band of Brothers took control of part of the Deklein region.
This has been the fourth hundred days.
(Proceed to Bonus Content!) **** |
James 315
GoonFleet
GoonSwarm
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Posted - 2008.08.26 17:08:00 -
[2]
BONUS CONTENT!
THE HISTORY OF ALL EVE
...the Trailer
In a world where evil triumphed over good
DigitalCommunist > I tell you that we are nothing less than omnipotence itself.
And peaceful carebears were gripped with suffering
CYV0K > There's nothing left to say, really
CYV0K > It's over.
The people cried out for a hero
Remedial > My point? WE are the ones WE'VE been waiting for.
But the answer to their prayers
James 315 > I've decided to start my own corporation. For posting purposes.
Would change everything they thought they knew...
DB Preacher > Today I saw a CAOD alt become more powerful than the emperor of BoB.
SirMolle > I want you to find out everything you can about this..."YACAODI1MAC."
The Eve Tribune calls it "an action-packed romp", a "thrillride", the "feel-good comedy of the year."
Dianabolic > The PvPer who became a spy... The spy who became a hacker...
Dianabolic > The hacker who defied the devs...
Dianabolic > Striking story
Dianabolic > But now the people want to know how the story is going to end
Lines will be drawn...
Dianabolic > You loved Eve very much, didn't you? Well that makes us brothers in a way
Dianabolic > Do you think I'm afraid of you?
Kugutsumen > I think you've been afraid your whole life.
Loyalties... will be tested
Seleene > It's always molle, molle, molle...what about what _I_ want?
Secrets... will be revealed...
James 315 > I swear to you on my honour that I am not an alt.
James 315 > But you do know me under a different name.
And a twist so unexpected...
It will leave
you
breathless
Dark Shikari > That...I did not see coming.
COMING THIS FALL
The only CAOD series so BIG
...it needs its own ****ing TRAILER.
THE HISTORY OF ALL EVE
An Eve History
- 315
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Muadeeb Ousil
Minmatar
Office linebackers
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Posted - 2008.08.26 17:10:00 -
[3]
First page of a soon to be enflamed thread.
Will read later unless your going to supply bullet points.
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Dazhbog
T C B
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Posted - 2008.08.26 17:11:00 -
[4]
 Originally by: James 315
irrelevance
Yeah, there were a lot of words, but this one pretty much summed it up.
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Disteeler
Primera Fundacion
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Posted - 2008.08.26 17:11:00 -
[5]
are you a comedian? 
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Porgy
Foundation
Sons of Tangra
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Posted - 2008.08.26 17:12:00 -
[6]
i heard i could buy drugs in here.
_______________________
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Iva Soreass
Personal Vendetta
Vendetta Alliance.
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Posted - 2008.08.26 17:14:00 -
[7]
Posting in a failswarm thread.
tl;dr
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Graalum
Interstellar eXodus
R0ADKILL
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Posted - 2008.08.26 17:14:00 -
[8]
i remember when james 315 made good threads.
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Jogyn
The Priory
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Posted - 2008.08.26 17:15:00 -
[9]
James 315 is hawt.
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Salvar Ar'adim
State Property
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Posted - 2008.08.26 17:15:00 -
[10]
lol
10/10 for the bonus, would read again
______
Salvar Ar'Adim
[RLLUP]State Property
Originally by: CCP Wrangler
Get Chribba to publically denounce Veldspar, then we can start discussing winning EVE... 
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Graalum
Interstellar eXodus
R0ADKILL
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Posted - 2008.08.26 17:15:00 -
[11]
Originally by: Jogyn
James 315 is hawt.
factually incorrect
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Haradgrim
Tyrell Corp
INTERDICTION
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Posted - 2008.08.26 17:16:00 -
[12]
1
--
Originally by: CCP Oveur
...every forum whine feels like a baby pony is getting killed
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SnowUponPetal
Best Path Inc.
Ethereal Dawn
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Posted - 2008.08.26 17:16:00 -
[13]
I'm on the edge of my seat! Aww, dammit, who left gum on it?!
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phillie blunt
Live And Let Die
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Posted - 2008.08.26 17:16:00 -
[14]
zzz boring...
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Evelgrivion
Black Nova Corp
Band of Brothers
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Posted - 2008.08.26 17:17:00 -
[15]
Edited by: Evelgrivion on 26/08/2008 17:24:42
You are not the only Historian of New Eden. Though if I were you, I wouldn't be touting myself as a Historian with these kinds of posts. You are neither unbiased nor a revealer of any special, archaic, hidden truths. If CAOD was a newspaper, this piece of yours would be in the opinion section.
I'll tell you what this thread really is; a desperate attempt to get the attention lost when you stopped being relevant back from BoB's grasp. Face the facts James, it's BoB's world now. You're just living in it.
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Straight Chillen
Gallente
Solar Wind
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Posted - 2008.08.26 17:19:00 -
[16]
first page in whats sure to be an epic thread
_
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NerftheSmurf
GoonFleet
GoonSwarm
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Posted - 2008.08.26 17:23:00 -
[17]
need more words
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Graalum
Interstellar eXodus
R0ADKILL
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Posted - 2008.08.26 17:24:00 -
[18]
Originally by: Evelgrivion
Edited by: Evelgrivion on 26/08/2008 17:18:42
You are not the only Historian of New Eden. Though if I were you, I wouldn't be touting myself as a Historian with these kinds of posts. You are neither unbiased nor a revealer of any special, archaic, hidden truths. If CAOD was a newspaper, this piece of yours would be in the opinion section.
i would think its more tabloids than newspaper tbh
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Zeoliter
Reikoku
Band of Brothers
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Posted - 2008.08.26 17:24:00 -
[19]
Poasting in a "Goons are coming to Querious so best get our best forum warriors out there to wind BoB up to return South and save Razor" thread.
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Shoukei
Caldari
Boobs Ahoy
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Posted - 2008.08.26 17:26:00 -
[20]
This was surprisingly short for you James. We learned to expect more
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Efdi
The Illuminati.
Pandemic Legion
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Posted - 2008.08.26 17:30:00 -
[21]
First page in a James 315 thread.
_______________________________
Yes, I am an alt. No, I can't post with my main; he's forum banned. Yes, I will be happy to smack you with my main when I'm unbanned. |
Faekurias
Black Legion Command
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Posted - 2008.08.26 17:30:00 -
[22]
Bonus content was the best content, didn't read first post.
We are recruiting.
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Mikko Baird
R and R Industries
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Posted - 2008.08.26 17:31:00 -
[23]
Disappointing post.
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Homo Erectus
Evolution
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Posted - 2008.08.26 17:31:00 -
[24]
build us up, buttercup.
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Mihailo Great
Privateer Alliance
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Posted - 2008.08.26 17:32:00 -
[25]
Too short, didn't read.
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DigitalCommunist
Obsidian Core
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Posted - 2008.08.26 17:32:00 -
[26]
Your goon is showing, how embarrassing for you.
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Eskalin
Minmatar
Evolution
Band of Brothers
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Posted - 2008.08.26 17:33:00 -
[27]
sage goes in all fields.
being relegated to irrelevance you have to remind us all how inaccurate your feculant slant on eve politics is. cant wait for your contrived report in 500 days. gj your the best.
If babies weren't to be eaten they wouldn't be hibachi sized
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TWD
Evolution
Band of Brothers
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Posted - 2008.08.26 17:33:00 -
[28]
I for one would like to see more of this fanfic about us! |
Kyrie Elaison
GoonFleet
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Posted - 2008.08.26 17:35:00 -
[29]
Originally by: Zeoliter
Poasting in a "Goons are coming to Querious so best get our best forum warriors out there to wind BoB up to return South and save Razor" thread.
This is adorable. Ex-LV posting is always so cute. I'm sure Bob will come back south when Molle feels like losing another Titan. Until then, have fun chestbeating about this northern venture of yours.
Arghy is the one true God and Dungar is His prophet. |
DrRockIT
Caldari
Asgard Schiffswerften
Ev0ke
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Posted - 2008.08.26 17:37:00 -
[30]
Good read
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