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Thread Statistics | Show CCP posts - 3 post(s) |
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CCP Abraxas
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Posted - 2008.09.30 11:37:00 -
[1]
From the land of snot, wheezing and rasping coughs, I bring you this new chronicle. In case anyone is wondering, the events that led up to the war of EVE's new Empyrean Age included a high-ranking individual in the Gallente armed forces effectively selling out his empire. The Gallente are not happy about this. They want to find the man. |
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Elise Masutra
Tleilex Manufacturing
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Posted - 2008.09.30 11:58:00 -
[2]
I wonder who Skids is. Hopefully this will be revealed in a later chronicle 
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Deviana Sevidon
Gallente
Panta-Rhei
United Front Alliance
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Posted - 2008.09.30 12:04:00 -
[3]
Wow great story.
I think all of my Crew members of Caldari Origin will receive a similar switch, as the one implanted into Skidz. Just for their own protection.
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Horatius Caul
Amarr
PIE Inc.
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Posted - 2008.09.30 12:24:00 -
[4]
The composition of the group reminds me of a roleplaying group. Are you laying grounds for the rumored EVE Roleplaying book, Abraxas? 
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CCP Abraxas
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Posted - 2008.09.30 12:57:00 -
[5]
 Originally by: Horatius Caul
The composition of the group reminds me of a roleplaying group. Are you laying grounds for the rumored EVE Roleplaying book, Abraxas?
Nailed it in one. 
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Kai Zion
The Zion Accounts
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Posted - 2008.09.30 14:53:00 -
[6]
Some great ideas being explored here. Really interesting stuff. Loving the technological tidbits at the end and their exceptionally cruel application...some fascinating issues it brings forward.
You're a bad bad man, Abraxas. What would your Mother think?  |
Garion Avarr
Amarr
Zero Zero Traders
YTMND.
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Posted - 2008.09.30 15:28:00 -
[7]
Originally by: Kai Zion
You're a bad bad man, Abraxas. What would your Mother think?
He is . . . and we love him for it!
I like how you set us up to think that it ended with Jeanelle killing Skids, then had it not quite be that . . . also, the banter between Kardeth and Asadir is priceless. "How'd you like it on the Matar side!" "Shutup."
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This is not a signature. |
Kyoko Sakoda
Caldari
Veto.
Veto Corp
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Posted - 2008.09.30 16:57:00 -
[8]
Great story, but blargh, when did Caldari plural become Caldarians? |
Markus Jome
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Posted - 2008.10.01 00:14:00 -
[9]
Edited by: Markus Jome on 01/10/2008 00:14:00
I wonder weather Jeanelle is the lover of Uriam Kador mentioned here http://www.eve-online.com/races/amarrHeirs_intro.asp , or if he just preferes gallenteans.
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Haradgrim
Tyrell Corp
INTERDICTION
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Posted - 2008.10.01 18:11:00 -
[10]
Somebody likes William Gibson
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Originally by: CCP Oveur
...every forum whine feels like a baby pony is getting killed
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Shadarina
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Posted - 2008.10.01 18:59:00 -
[11]
They obviously like Skids loads.
They have just made a habit of clearing her memory every time she feels loyal to the Caldari State, or whenever they get bored, whichever is first....
I wonder how they managed to get such a versatile implant into her head? |
Letri Bimmet
Gallente
Estrale Frontiers
BlackWater.
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Posted - 2008.10.02 08:51:00 -
[12]
Great story.
I liked that they didn't kill skids in the end
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CCP Abraxas
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Posted - 2008.10.02 18:15:00 -
[13]
Originally by: Markus Jome
I wonder weather Jeanelle is the lover of Uriam Kador mentioned here http://www.eve-online.com/races/amarrHeirs_intro.asp , or if he just preferes gallenteans.
She's the one.
Originally by: Haradgrim
Somebody likes William Gibson
It's more that both Gibson and I like the Velvet Underground.
Originally by: Kai Zion
Some great ideas being explored here. Really interesting stuff. Loving the technological tidbits at the end and their exceptionally cruel application...some fascinating issues it brings forward.
I'm glad if they can stand on their own. We did a lot of work on the characters for the upcoming storytelling game, where you'll see them defined in much more depth. I tried to paint them and their world with only a few brush strokes here, within the length constraints of a chronicle, which I'm sure made them come off slightly skewed at times.
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Callib Gor'Karrithe
Minmatar
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Posted - 2008.10.02 20:33:00 -
[14]
Yeahhhhh... Cleanin' up the mess!!
You know... one thing I've always loved about storytelling games is that they make it really easy to hammer out some good fictional writings using the game book as aid. :)
Great story.
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Kazuma Saruwatari
Caldari
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Posted - 2008.10.03 13:53:00 -
[15]
Whilst the same great quality from you Abraxas, the thing that most caught my attention was the usage of the Dead Man's Switch idea as an implant that causes memory loss and an EMP shockwave bomb.
That, in itself is definately something new.
It takes a twisted mind to appreciate the heady aspects of memory loss, personality control, and to an extent, mind control. It takes an even more twisted mind to write it up.
Abraxas, if you get the colds again, do another one like this
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Savesti Kyrsst
Minmatar
Invicta.
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Posted - 2008.10.03 16:12:00 -
[16]
I liked this one. Thumbs up.
_
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Thea Arsoniztik
Red Tides
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Posted - 2008.10.03 20:20:00 -
[17]
I love the artwork associated with this piece! I want a large print of it to frame. How do you suppose I could get it printed??
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Kransthow
Sage Industries
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Posted - 2008.10.03 21:28:00 -
[18]
Edited by: Kransthow on 03/10/2008 21:28:12
Great story |
Kazuki Fuse
Developmental Neogenics Amalgamated
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Posted - 2008.10.03 22:15:00 -
[19]
You guys spelled "traitor" wrong in the blurb on the EVE main page:
"The treachery of the most infamous Gallentean traiter, Anvent Eturrer, continues to reverberate. Hired by the FIO's Black Eagles, a small band of mercenaries enter enemy Caldari space in hopes of locating the former Grand Admiral of the Federation Navy before he hides deeper into the Caldari underground."
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Olgania
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Posted - 2008.10.03 23:54:00 -
[20]
Edited by: Olgania on 03/10/2008 23:54:40
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Markus Jome
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Posted - 2008.10.03 23:56:00 -
[21]
Edited by: Markus Jome on 03/10/2008 23:57:13
Originally by: Kazuki Fuse
You guys spelled "traitor" wrong in the blurb on the EVE main page:
"The treachery of the most infamous Gallentean traiter, Anvent Eturrer, continues to reverberate. Hired by the FIO's Black Eagles, a small band of mercenaries enter enemy Caldari space in hopes of locating the former Grand Admiral of the Federation Navy before he hides deeper into the Caldari underground."
I would be more concerned why the Amarr space they have entered suddenly became Caldari space, although i wouldd be pleased if they were fighting alongside with us Matari
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Remus Navillum
z3r0 Gravity
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Posted - 2008.10.04 02:24:00 -
[22]
Originally by: CCP Abraxas
It's more that both Gibson and I like the Velvet Underground.
Oh I see what you did there. |
Jerrix Latikaan
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Posted - 2008.10.04 18:30:00 -
[23]
Abraxis, the whole story is fantastic. I, too, like the whole mixed-party adventures subgenre.
I really enjoy the quasi-reveal in Day Five, but upon thinking of this section in context of the whole, it seems a little incongruous. The topic is introduced and developed in a way that at first implies that one of the characters is being brought on board to a new idea... as if Asadir was slowly piecing together Jeanelle's intentions: "you know that Skids has a quickdraw implant." Why would Asadir ask Jeanelle to affirm her knowledge of the implant if they'd employed the Dead Man Switch numerous times before? Likewise, when Jeanelle refers to a previous modification to the EMP in a previous Caldari space mission, a little while back, it's also being discussed as if Asadir wasn't wholly familiar with the process Jeanelle intended to use.
It's a tricky situation. You want to maintain the intrigue, you want to develop the idea in such a way that you're slowly bringing your audience on board. I love the way you crafted this particular dialogue sequence, keeping up the suspense. But, when the reveal is completed I felt a little bit of whiplash concerning how many times they've apparently employed the technique in the past, versus the way the characters first talked about the Dead Man Switch in the Day 5 sequence.
Just an observation I thought you, as a writer, would like pointed out.
This is the first chronicle I've read, and as I find time, I hope to go back and read the existing ones and I look forward to those that are still forthcoming!
/Jer |
EnslaverOfMinmatar
Yarsk Hunters
DeaDSpace Coalition
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Posted - 2008.10.04 22:50:00 -
[24]
Don't ever buy implants from people you don't know... and from people you think you know.
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Jerald Lutney
Gallente
Solarforge Manufacturing
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Posted - 2008.10.05 12:28:00 -
[25]
This reminds me of how Shadowrun goes, 90% of the time. Although the deadman's switch isn't quite a cortex bomb, but hey, least they keep a good member on hand afterwards.
Great story.
Solarforge Manufacturing
Making T2 Invention easier than IKEA assembly! |
Pottsey
Enheduanni Foundation
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Posted - 2008.10.06 12:15:00 -
[26]
Is this more evidence for cloning outside pods? Although they faked her death they faked her death in that she was killed outside a pod and cloned meaning it must be possible.
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Telltale sign of their presence is non-linear teleportation
(www.eve-online.com/races/theodicy/Theodicy_All.pdf)
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Grishax
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Posted - 2008.10.06 12:45:00 -
[27]
Edited by: Grishax on 06/10/2008 12:45:47
Potsey, Jeanelle faked Skids' death. She used a modified EMP bomb to disable Skids' Quickdraw implant, used blanks to make Skids brain bleive she was being shot, and finally, initiated through the modified EMP bomb, she used the Quickdraw implant of Skids against her. It incapacitated Skids, and wiped all memory of the whole mission (or Asadir is doing that on-board the ship).
My personal question is, who is Skids, that they need to protect her from her own identity?
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Pottsey
Enheduanni Foundation
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Posted - 2008.10.06 14:56:00 -
[28]
Edited by: Pottsey on 06/10/2008 14:57:39
ôPotsey, Jeanelle faked Skids' death. She used a modified EMP bomb to disable Skids' Quickdraw implant,ö
I know it was a fake death my point was Skid thought, well needed to believe she had died and was reborn. ôand made their friend go through yet another death, to awake an earlier, cleaner self.ö it sounds to me like they often fake her death and make her think she is reborn AKA waking up in a clone bay after being killed.
Perhaps I am reading it wrong but thatÆs how I read it. The only way fake killing her outside a pod and brining her back alive could work, is if real killing outside a pod and bringing back alive is possible.
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Garion Avarr
Amarr
Zero Zero Traders
YTMND.
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Posted - 2008.10.07 03:40:00 -
[29]
Originally by: Pottsey
. . . it sounds to me like they often fake her death and make her think she is reborn AKA waking up in a clone bay after being killed.
Perhaps I am reading it wrong but thatÆs how I read it. The only way fake killing her outside a pod and brining her back alive could work, is if real killing outside a pod and bringing back alive is possible.
I think you are reading it wrong -- I don't think Skids is meant to think that she's died, merely to have her memories erased. Perhaps made to think she hit her head at most. But in my reading, she's meant to think nothing at all has happened.
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This is not a signature. |
Pottsey
Enheduanni Foundation
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Posted - 2008.10.07 06:30:00 -
[30]
Edited by: Pottsey on 07/10/2008 06:33:13
ôIt was a unique and bothersome requirement of the Dead Man's Switch that its victim had to be made to feel as if she were dying. If they merely turned on the switch without faking Skids' death, the risk of irreversible psychosis rose by several orders of magnitude. So they loaded guns with blanks, and they faked hull breaches, and all the while they pressed little buttons and made their friend go through yet another death, to awake an earlier, cleaner self.ö
Clearly she was made to think she had died they shot her with blanks. Far more then just made to think she hit her head. She went though yet another fake death. It was like she went though a fake death, then woke up in a cloneing vat with lost memeoys since the last clone backup.
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Telltale sign of their presence is non-linear teleportation
(www.eve-online.com/races/theodicy/Theodicy_All.pdf)
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