ShahFluffers
Ice Fire Warriors
20
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Posted - 2011.09.12 16:27:00 -
[1] - Quote
I had an alt that I was starting to get bored with. He was largely specced in running missions and doing industry related stuffs. Pretty boring really. One day my alt gets a mail from some random carebear to join his corp. Since there was little happening on Fluffers' end at the time, I accepted. I figured it would be a bit o' fun.
The "corporate honeymoon" didn't last even a week. I was given director's roles within a day (because I had an Orca with gang/command links and "knew stuffz"... lawl) and quite a few of the hardcore, know-it-all, spineless carebears in the corp (who were mostly missionrunners) were getting on my nerves just by talking on comms.
Sooooo... around day 4 or 5 I took some of the nubbins out to run a level 4 and teach them some things (cause I really am a nice guy deep down in my bowls or something)... and it came out that they were REALLY bored and didn't really like the "ruling" part of the corp. I immediately saw and seized the opportunity.
I handpick 3 of the more bloodthirsty/disaffected nubbins and gave them a crash course in PvP. Frigates, scrams, speed tanking, etc.
I then announced in corp chat that I had got a level 5 mission in high-sec, "possibly due to a glitch," and asked if anyone wanted to come. The "hardcore" missionbears squealed with delight and got their "nice" battleships out. The newbies were allowed to come too, but they were told that they would not be part of the RR chain because they'd "be a liability." Pricks.
So I wait for everyone to assemble... "no, we cannot warp in yet until EVERYONE is here. One, two, three... okay, 4 mission battleships, 2 mission cruisers, a logi-fit Exequor, two or three random frigates... everyone ready to go? Okay, lemme warp in first and I'll get aggro."
So I now warp off to a safe-spot in the middle of system. I arrive and 2 of my trusty nubbins are there waiting for me (I had given them the safespot eariler). For reference, I am in a Rattlesnake battleship with a MASSIVE passive tank geared towards kinetic and explosive damage (told them it was an "Angel" mission so their ammo and stuff is min/maxed for that). I also have fully bonused and skilled drones.
"Alright guys. Warp to me."
I deploy Garde IIs. My nubbins have but ONE job: scram and web as many of their fellow corpies as possible.
People start landing.
"Hey... where's the mission...?"
[Notification: you have been warp scrambled by........ ]
With the missionbears resistances geared to take kinetic and explosive damage they have HUGE resistance holes against my thermal damage-dealing sentry drones. I wipe out the cruisers and frigates first as they are relatively soft and present the greatest danger to my accomplices. By the time I get to work on the battleships (a full 2 or 3 minutes into all this) they have only STARTED to realize what is happening and are beginning to shoot me.
In the end... my shields never go lower that 85%, neither of my bloodthirsty comrades lose their T1 frigates, we have a bunch of failfit/"special snowflake" ship fits on our killboards, and only 2 of the missionbear battleships manage to escape the massacre.
We are all promptly booted from corp to prevent us from doing any further damage... oh wait... where's my 3rd nubbin?
Oh right. Right before the mission started I had given the 3rd guy in our group director roles to the corp. As the slaughter was taking place he was looting the corp hangers of EVERYTHING that wasn't bolted down.
We split everything evenly and ended up getting about 300 mil worth in stuff and liquid assets (not much, but still). After that, I parted ways with them saying that I needed a "bit of a break" (which was kinda true).
I haven't kept in touch with them... but I do check their KB from time to time. It seems they have taken a liking to low-sec piracy. Warms the heart to see that 
"Just because I seem like an idiot, doesn't mean I am one."
~Unknown |