Ezevector
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Posted - 2009.08.27 02:21:00 -
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(The following is a dramatization for your enjoyment)
Ezevector is sitting at his keyboard, placing the finishing touches on his bestselling book "The Antichrist and You: How To Be Prepared for the Magnificence of His Highness." His young daughter walks into the room. Her depthless blue eyes look up at his unreadable face, and in a voice filled with the comforting peace of innocence, she asks:
"Daddy, what's a ganker?"
Her father laughs jovially as he turns to her. With a smile, he puts her on his knee and says "darling dearest, a ganker is a [Note: approximately 6.3 pages of material have been removed from this post, as they were in violation of everything humanity calls dear.]"
Ten minutes have passed. The pits of her once placid eyes, now scoured, shaking and hollow as if set upon by starving jackals, never waver from her father's face as she backs away. Without a word, she runs from the room. With a cheerful whistle, Ezevector sets his gaze upon the monitor again and resumes his work.
A few minutes later, his wife enters the room.
"Dear," she says to him, "I'm afraid I must ask that you never speak to our daughter again. About anything. Ever."
"Okee dokee," Ezevector replies.
"Mom," comes his daughter's voice, clinging to her as if terrified, "what's a 'carebear?'"
"They're pretty much the same thing," Ezevector said.
"DEAR!" came the distraught, shrill cry of his wife. Her shock could not have been greater if he had suggested that she go into the kitchen and prepare herself for cannibalization.
"It's true," Ezevector said, bending down and taking a dusty book from under the floorboards. It's cover was black, stitched together with leather who's shape somehow seemed to suggest that it's donor still felt the pain of it's skinning to this very day. As he opened it, a sickening orange glow bathed the underside of his face.
"For as you can see...I have proof," he began, as he turned the book towards his family. As their eyes fell upon the contents of that wretched tome, an almost tangible fog of despair came to command the room, filling every corner, save Ezevector's own eyes, overflowing as they already were with a seemingly eager form of madness...
What Ezevector's family saw that day can never be directly reproduced, for it would melt the eyes of any who saw it and make their monitors asplode. But some say it was that manuscript that caused the suicide of Nuderbatz Geritonam of the Amarr, for these are notes from one of the last works he was found to have been studying before he had forcibly plunged himself into a cargo pallet full of sporks:
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