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Ezevector
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Posted - 2009.08.27 02:21:00 -
[1]
(The following is a dramatization for your enjoyment)
Ezevector is sitting at his keyboard, placing the finishing touches on his bestselling book "The Antichrist and You: How To Be Prepared for the Magnificence of His Highness." His young daughter walks into the room. Her depthless blue eyes look up at his unreadable face, and in a voice filled with the comforting peace of innocence, she asks:
"Daddy, what's a ganker?"
Her father laughs jovially as he turns to her. With a smile, he puts her on his knee and says "darling dearest, a ganker is a [Note: approximately 6.3 pages of material have been removed from this post, as they were in violation of everything humanity calls dear.]"
Ten minutes have passed. The pits of her once placid eyes, now scoured, shaking and hollow as if set upon by starving jackals, never waver from her father's face as she backs away. Without a word, she runs from the room. With a cheerful whistle, Ezevector sets his gaze upon the monitor again and resumes his work.
A few minutes later, his wife enters the room.
"Dear," she says to him, "I'm afraid I must ask that you never speak to our daughter again. About anything. Ever."
"Okee dokee," Ezevector replies.
"Mom," comes his daughter's voice, clinging to her as if terrified, "what's a 'carebear?'"
"They're pretty much the same thing," Ezevector said.
"DEAR!" came the distraught, shrill cry of his wife. Her shock could not have been greater if he had suggested that she go into the kitchen and prepare herself for cannibalization.
"It's true," Ezevector said, bending down and taking a dusty book from under the floorboards. It's cover was black, stitched together with leather who's shape somehow seemed to suggest that it's donor still felt the pain of it's skinning to this very day. As he opened it, a sickening orange glow bathed the underside of his face.
"For as you can see...I have proof," he began, as he turned the book towards his family. As their eyes fell upon the contents of that wretched tome, an almost tangible fog of despair came to command the room, filling every corner, save Ezevector's own eyes, overflowing as they already were with a seemingly eager form of madness...
What Ezevector's family saw that day can never be directly reproduced, for it would melt the eyes of any who saw it and make their monitors asplode. But some say it was that manuscript that caused the suicide of Nuderbatz Geritonam of the Amarr, for these are notes from one of the last works he was found to have been studying before he had forcibly plunged himself into a cargo pallet full of sporks:
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Another Liberthas
Caldari
Ha'Menudim
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Posted - 2009.08.27 02:25:00 -
[2]
Epic.
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Bestofworst Worstofbest
Caldari
Science and Trade Institute
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Posted - 2009.08.27 02:26:00 -
[3]
________________________________________________
My Music
Posts slowly rising in quality to the decline of my dignity. |
Saju Somtaaw
Gallente
Diiamond Heavy Industries
MagiTech Corp
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Posted - 2009.08.27 02:34:00 -
[4]
Epic
---- --- ---
http://oldforums.eveonline.com/?a=topic&thread |
Zeba
Minmatar
Honourable East India Trading Company
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Posted - 2009.08.27 02:48:00 -
[5]
Edited by: Zeba on 27/08/2009 02:48:10
Drag the images into paint then rotate them 180 degrees and read the 'runes'. 
 Quote:
[03:39:05] Emperor Salazar > HOLY **** ITS ZEBA
[03:39:20] Emperor Salazar > NEVER STOP POASTING
Zeba is the BEST! ~Mitnal |
BiggestT
Caldari
Amarrian Retribution
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Posted - 2009.08.27 02:57:00 -
[6]
This is the most epic stealth whine ever! 
EVE history
t2 precisions |
Janice Jankowski
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Posted - 2009.08.27 03:32:00 -
[7]
 Nice effort
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Oscardoodle
Amarr
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Posted - 2009.08.27 04:00:00 -
[8]
wat
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Destination SkillQueue
Are We There Yet
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Posted - 2009.08.27 04:16:00 -
[9]
The day is just beginning and we get treated to this epic gold nugget. This is just beautiful and on so many levels. You've won the internet today, sir.
:tips hat:
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Jakooni
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Posted - 2009.08.27 04:20:00 -
[10]
Edited by: Jakooni on 27/08/2009 04:20:28
Some more "thoughtful introspective" |
Pandemonium Heresy
Amarr
Interstellar Commodity and Product Exchange
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Posted - 2009.08.27 04:34:00 -
[11]
That is some serious lovecraftian lulz you got going there. I love it.    
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FOR THE SLAUGHTER! |
Maria Kalista
Amarr
Splinter Foundation
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Posted - 2009.08.27 04:47:00 -
[12]
Originally by: Jacharian
This sounds like a bad idea. I'm in.
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Nito Musashi
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Posted - 2009.08.27 04:56:00 -
[13]
LOl that is pure win. great stuff.
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ToTheCore
Angels.
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Posted - 2009.08.27 05:18:00 -
[14]
Best thing I've seen on the forums in a while. Well done, sir.
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BattleClinic sigs aren't allowed now, Zymurgist? |
Blane Xero
Amarr
The Firestorm Cartel
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Posted - 2009.08.27 05:19:00 -
[15]
Veni, vidi, Loli.
I came i saw i laughed out loud (on the) internet
_____________________________________
Haruhiist since December 2008
Originally by: CCP Fallout
:facepalm:
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yourdoingitwrong
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Posted - 2009.08.27 05:24:00 -
[16]
dude wow u need to go outside and get some fresh air enjoy the world a bit.
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Erichk Knaar
Caldari
Noir.
Noir. Mercenary Group
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Posted - 2009.08.27 06:35:00 -
[17]
OP is full of win.
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ShadowGod56
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Posted - 2009.08.27 06:52:00 -
[18]
HA awesome
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Vysnaite
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Posted - 2009.08.27 07:32:00 -
[19]
Nicely done.
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F'nog
Amarr
Celestial Horizon Corp.
Slightly Inappropriate.
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Posted - 2009.08.27 09:12:00 -
[20]
I came here expecting to post a snide remark.
All I can say is: Awesome'd.
Originally by: Kazuma Saruwatari
F'nog for Amarr Emperor. Nuff said
Originally by: Chribba
Go F'nog! You're a hero! Not a Zero!  /me bows
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Mashie Saldana
BFG Tech
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Posted - 2009.08.27 10:03:00 -
[21]
Haha, nice.
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Blackjack Turner
Caldari
State Protectorate
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Posted - 2009.08.27 10:31:00 -
[22]
Two thumbs up!
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Mad Maulkin
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Posted - 2009.08.27 11:05:00 -
[23]
Yeah, epic underhanded ballkick to the Gane-kur's...
Pivpi, must decendent from the Kiwi...
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Arec Bardwin
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Posted - 2009.08.27 12:12:00 -
[24]
Well done, 10/10
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Anna Kommenos
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Posted - 2009.08.27 12:15:00 -
[25]
awesome OP
awesome thread.
need moar
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Slave 2739FKZ
Minmatar
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Posted - 2009.08.27 12:24:00 -
[26]
carebear tearsd, best tears.
WIS is an expansion which allows EVE players to wear leather and walk around stations.
Dust514 is a console shooter/rts which will tie into EVE and affect sov. |
Red Thunder
tr0pa de elite
Triumvirate.
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Posted - 2009.08.27 12:32:00 -
[27]
some people certainly have weird ways of expressing their anger after being ganked lol, pretty good read though lol
Eagles may soar, but weasels dont get sucked into jet engines |
Sidus Isaacs
Gallente
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Posted - 2009.08.27 14:49:00 -
[28]
Nice read
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://desusig.crumplecorn.com/sigs.html |
Kurfin
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Posted - 2009.08.27 14:55:00 -
[29]
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Joe Skellington
Minmatar
Blood Association of Dragons
Blood Alliance of Dragons
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Posted - 2009.08.27 14:59:00 -
[30]
I like blueberries.
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