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Crepiscule
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Posted - 2003.06.23 18:45:00 -
[1]
If you are a pirate and have a funny story please post it. With all the pirate bashing going on we all could use a good laugh.
I'll start:
We were on our way to a jump gate when one of our members came under attack from a playerA in a cruiser.
Our member managed to warp away and we waited at a gate for him to catch up.
As luck would have it. playerA just happened to be headed in my direction so we began with the standard procedure. Warp lock, stasis ect.
Well this slippery eel managed to make it to the jump gate just before I finished him off. He was also kind enough to leave us with some parting words. "hahahahahaha" I believe was his exact words.
We didn't bother to pursue and waited for the others to catch up. We then headed to our destination and setup the typical Gate trap.
Not 10 minutes has gone by when, you guessed it, playerA warps in and is headed for our gate.
Needless to say he wasn't laughing this time from the inside of his egg. I felt it necessary to leave him a message as well. Mine said. "He who laughs last, laughs best".
Ok who is next?
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la'Rei
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Posted - 2003.06.23 19:08:00 -
[2]
I was setting at a gate, Doing my normal thing "I'm a solo pirate, and I can kill you."
Well I was in my maller, and this dude was in a blackbird. Well I was like "STOP YOUR SHIP" no responce, and he didnt start slowing down, so I threw stasis and warp jammer on him. and repeated "STOP YOUR SHIP NOW!!!" He still kept truckin along at 30m/s. So, I opend fire and blew up his blackbird! (he shoulda paid me the 50k I wanted, woulda been cheaper than buying a new blackbird) But nooo, when he was in his pod, he sat there. just sat by his cargo canister and was like "YOU IDIOT". Little did he know, I dont like being called a idiot. I locked him, put a jammer on him, and podded him.
Then he called me stupid agian. If I'm not mistaken, I took time with this case for him to not die, yet he ended up podded.
Moral of the story: if there's pirates at a gate, and you cant kill them, they CAN kill you. Give them what they want, and your likely to live.
_________________________
Trolling is bad. Please dont do it.
-rei |
Molly
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Posted - 2003.06.23 19:08:00 -
[3]
I'm not a pirate myself, but some think I am:
"Molly > yes?
Diego > Isn't it a bit dangerous to drive an indy when you are wanted?
Molly > sigh"
.
.
.
"Tifany Fingers > hello
Molly > hello :-).
Molly > can i help u?
Tifany Fingers > just asking for safe passage
Molly > ah. well. i am not a pirate myself :).
Molly > so no worries.
Tifany Fingers > thanks trying to get my new ship and have 10 more jups to go
Molly > good luck :-).
Tifany Fingers > thanks.. then I need to get my sec acct out here for equiping it
Molly > i guess i need a new sec rating, do not want to threat people.
Molly > good bye tifany."
I hope it's somehow funny for at least one of the readers for me it was :-).
Edited by: Molly on 23/06/2003 19:09:40
---
"Molly > funny thing is, if they warn me for attacking in 1.0, why does a GM wish me luck doing so?
Jash Illian > perverse sense of humor?
Molly > lol
Jash Illian > honestly tho, because he prolly doesn't know bships" |
Hampsta
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Posted - 2003.06.23 19:30:00 -
[4]
Saturday we were hanging around a gate, ya know, making friends and getting to know the locals when a nice shiny stabber warped in. He was warp locked and hit with stasis.
Since had no cash and nothing in his ship, we asked the pilot to eject from his ship and fly home to bring us payment. He actually ejected from ship and it was then quite humorous trying to figure out how to dock his cruiser.
He returned in 15 - 20 minutes with payment of 800K in Isogen and we returned his ship to him unharmed.
moral to the story: If he hadn't paid, he'd have been out 4.5 mil + for a new ship and mods vs. the 800K he spent to save it.
Edited by: Hampsta on 23/06/2003 19:34:09
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Darkannis
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Posted - 2003.06.23 19:41:00 -
[5]
Havent seen a funny one yet - this is just PR verbiage.
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Molly
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Posted - 2003.06.23 19:42:00 -
[6]
Then post one or simply shut up :-).
---
"Molly > funny thing is, if they warn me for attacking in 1.0, why does a GM wish me luck doing so?
Jash Illian > perverse sense of humor?
Molly > lol
Jash Illian > honestly tho, because he prolly doesn't know bships" |
Darkannis
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Posted - 2003.06.23 19:56:00 -
[7]
Molly - I'm not a pirate.
Though a funny story would be about the "Pirates" trying to dress up PR as "funny stories" and expecting people to go
"Ho ho ho! You are all very amusing chaps and chapesses. I wish I could stroke my ego as often and as well as you all do in the telling of stories where we encourage you to act like sheep."
Actually - You're right... this IS an hilarious thread.
Here's another funny story:
A pirate tried to stop me at a gate. I let him webify me and scramble me then blew his ship to ribbons and podded him.
He came after me with his two friends the next week. I killed them and podded them also.
He now plays a miner and flies an imicus.,, but wait.. I killed him also! And he went and whinged on the forums about it!
Now THAT's funny.
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Molly
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Posted - 2003.06.23 19:58:00 -
[8]
Rofl.
---
"Molly > funny thing is, if they warn me for attacking in 1.0, why does a GM wish me luck doing so?
Jash Illian > perverse sense of humor?
Molly > lol
Jash Illian > honestly tho, because he prolly doesn't know bships" |
Crepiscule
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Posted - 2003.06.23 20:02:00 -
[9]
Since you are in fact not a pirate, please don't post, troll, and/or flame.
If you want you can start your own thread of funny stories by non-pirates. I'm sure there are a few.
For instance the classic "I used a missile too close to my buddies and got destroyed by Concord" or "I went afk for 10 min while on autopilot and found myself podded and floating in space.
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la'Rei
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Posted - 2003.06.23 20:03:00 -
[10]
har har, see, mOo has some funny stories, I think one of htem has a GM's corpse! I think that's funny in it's own!! There is the time I was in my bestower in a .5 zone (as high as I can go) and some idiot in a cruiser thought it would be funny to blow up the pirate in a indy... The poor indy got to loot the cruiser BTW.
_________________________
Trolling is bad. Please dont do it.
-rei |
Viceroy
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Posted - 2003.06.23 20:03:00 -
[11]
hahaha
Edited by: Viceroy on 23/06/2003 20:04:30
-
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Darkannis
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Posted - 2003.06.23 20:11:00 -
[12]
Is that how you lost your bounty Crep? Or didnt you ever warrant one?
"I call myself a pirate but i dont even have a bounty on my head".
Sure sign of a rampant and prolific killer... either that or methinks somebody got podded.
Want to tell us which one? - c'mon it's a thread of Pirate "funnies" after all.
Don't be shy now.
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Kayosoni
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Posted - 2003.06.23 20:18:00 -
[13]
Red Corsairs huh? It's a damn shame I have no screenshot of us blowing up Padan's Stabber...
http://www.siegedom.org/Files/images/EveRedonKill.jpg
And after that you guys quickly decided to become cowards and hide in the station. Rather boring if you ask me...
Edited by: Kayosoni on 23/06/2003 20:21:19
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Currently Playing Lineage 2 - Erica Server |
Crepiscule
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Posted - 2003.06.23 20:21:00 -
[14]
<sigh> See what pirates must endure. Constant harassment from disgruntled players.
If you must know my bounty was collected by one "TheBigDog" It wasn't much of a fight being I was ill-equipped and by a station at the time.
You see stations don't protect pirates but will fire on them if they are attacking.
I get the impression that you think I would some how be embarrassed that someone collected a bounty on me. Quite the contrary. I congratulated him and if you asked him he'd probably say I made his day.
To think that you cannot be beaten is very ignorant.
Thank you for Hijacking this thread and turning it into yet another "I hate pirates"
Go join Sour Grapes Corp. They are the fastest growing corp in the game.
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Crepiscule
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Posted - 2003.06.23 20:27:00 -
[15]
Yes Kayosoni,
We were beaten that day without a doubt. However it was a rifter and not a stabber and Padan is no longer a member of Red Corsairs.
We look forward to our next meeting. We always enjoy a challenge.
As far as hiding in the station goes. I would have continued the fight but my pod isn't very well equiped for combat. 
Edited by: Crepiscule on 23/06/2003 20:30:34
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Kayosoni
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Posted - 2003.06.23 20:37:00 -
[16]
Thank you crep, I THOUGHT Padan only had a frigate (but my corpmates said stabber...)
I admit I was disappointed to not fight any cruisers that day. :)
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Currently Playing Lineage 2 - Erica Server |
Setec
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Posted - 2003.06.23 20:58:00 -
[17]
Setec > Hi, I'm a pirate.
Setec > BOO!
Setec > Hope that was scary.
Setec > You're free to go now.
Noobship Pilot > yes very! thank you!
Setec > Hi, I'm a pirate. DO NOT fire on me, DO NOT try to run away, turn off autopilot, bring your ship to a complete stop and await my next message. You will NOT lose your ship if you cooperate, but if you try to escape or fight back I'll destroy it immediately.
Funny-threat-boy > yea?
Setec > Ok, good.
Funny-threat-boy > ?
Funny-threat-boy > what do u want?
Setec > Your cargo.
Funny-threat-boy > what of it?
Setec > All of it.
Setec > Ok thank you, wise move, you are free to go.
Setec > Jams are deactivated, you can move normally in a few seconds.
Funny-threat-boy > btw j0rt in m0o is on ur ass White trash #$%^
Setec > Hi
Victim's CEO > hello
Victim's CEO > I have heard that you have attacked one of my corp convoys earlier today
Victim's CEO > is there a reason for this umprovoked attack?
Setec > Well, it was provoked... they came near me with stuff worth money!
Setec > I'm a pirate. Not denying it. :)
Victim's CEO > Do you speak for your corp?
Victim's CEO > =-)
Setec > Yeah, I'm the CEO.
Victim's CEO > sounds good
Victim's CEO > sometimes i wish i were a pirate
Setec > STOP YUOR SHIP.
Unwise Trader > Please no
Setec > I will stop my guns.
Setec > Stop your ship.
Unwise Trader > wait new
Setec > I see you're carrying robotics.
Unwise Trader > I'm still new
Unwise Trader > Not exactly I think. I'm carrying silicon
Setec > Everyone says that and tries to get off easy.
Unwise Trader > It's true honest. playing 3 days
Unwise Trader > Everything I have is on this ship
Setec > You got a bestower in 3 days? Living on corp money?
Setec > I think I can let you live for 500k isk.
Unwise Trader > Mining 360k for a bestower
Unwise Trader > I don't have it. I have 14k and change
Setec > That could be bad news for you.
Unwise Trader > That is your choice, but I tell you, if you kill me I stop playing this game today
Setec > Ask your corpmates for 500k or withdraw it from the corp account.
Unwise Trader > This is all I have and i am not starting from scratch again
Setec > I'm a pirate. This is what I do.
Unwise Trader > I'm new to the guild, and its a new guild plus the officers are not on
Unwise Trader > I understand that, but trading is what I do
Unwise Trader > Not harming anyone, just trying to get started in the game
Setec > How much silicon are you carrying?
Unwise Trader > All my money in silicon, which is not a lot
Setec > Yeah, EVERYONE including the filthy rich robotics traders claims to be a newbie with 20k in the bank. I find it hard to believe.
Setec > How many units?
Unwise Trader > Sorry, but it's true
Setec > Yeah, everyone says that.
Setec > How many units of silicon?
Unwise Trader > Nothing I can say will change what you think, but truth it is
Unwise Trader > I'm leaving the game now. Stuff this
Unwise Trader > kill me if you like, I'm going gback to daoc
Setec > Pay me in cargo I guess. How many units of silicon do you have?
Unwise Trader > But let me live
Unwise Trader > and another time
Setec > LOL ouch now there's a threat... DAOC is wicked.
Unwise Trader > you will get your money
Setec > what a crappy game
Unwise Trader > hehe was fun for a while
Unwise Trader > but 6 months and I was ready for something new
Setec > I'm going to let you live if you drop your cargo.
Setec > Not all of it, just half.
Unwise Trader > No. That's all I have
Unwise Trader > I know it's all with you
Setec > And I'm taking half of it or all of it.
Unwise Trader > But I will not do that
Setec > Do you want me to blow you up?
Unwise Trader > I worked for 2 days
Unwise Trader > to get this cargo
Unwise Trader > It's all I ahve
Setec > Yeah, I'm a cold-hearted bastard.
Setec > You've got a choice. Give me half of it, or lose all of it AND your ship.
Unwise Trader > I'll give you 1k of my silcon. That's a lot of silicon
Setec > make it 2k
Unwise Trader > But that will take me hours to get back
Unwise Trader > but okay
Unwise Trader > I'm not doing this any more
Setec > in time it won't seem like much to you
Unwise Trader > another person on myu tail
Unwise Trader > help
Setec > yeah, he's my industrial friend
Setec > he's just helping speed jam you, he won't fire
Setec > he's here to pick up the silicon
Unwise Trader > okay. If this happens again then goodbye to this game
Setec > jettison 2000 silicon now
Unwise Trader > this is not fun
Unwise Trader > How do I do that?
Setec > yeah it's the unpleasant part of the game
Setec > open your ship's cargo hold
Setec > shift+click on the stack of silicon and drag it to an empty part of your cargo hold, it'll let you type an amount
Unwise Trader > Games should not be unpleasant.
Setec > enter 2000
Setec > then right-click that stack to 2000 and select jettison
Unwise Trader > Nope. I'm leaving the game. Stuff this. Bullying, no matt
___________________________________________
Space Invaders website: http://www.si-corp.net |
Kayosoni
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Posted - 2003.06.23 21:11:00 -
[18]
It's almost painful to read that...
-----------------------------------
Currently Playing Lineage 2 - Erica Server |
Crepiscule
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Posted - 2003.06.23 21:14:00 -
[19]
Here is another where no one was hurt. It happened back when getting stuck while zoning was very common.
I logged on a second character and petitioned a GM to move me to my previous system.
An hour goes by and I get a reply that my character has been moved.
So I logged my character on and I'm in a station. Not the station I had asked to be moved to but one 21 jumps away in a 0.0 sec space.
I was a bit miffed at the GM for that but I sucked it up and was going to make the long trip back through 0.0 sec system after 0.0 sec system.
Then I noticed that someone had entered the station. Since I was in low sec space I thought it might be prudent to look at his info. Low and behold it was a member of M0o. Sorry I don't remember who exactly it was at the time.
Well this made things go from bad to worse. I waited a bit to see if they were going to leave anytime soon. They didn't so I made the decision to see if I could make it out around them. (btw I had just picked up a shiny new Vigil. So new in fact it still had that new ship smell to it.)
I exit out of the station and immediately warp to the nearest planet, then bounce from asteroid belt to planet in a zig zag fashion making my way to the gate.
I make my final approach and notice that it is camped by a cruiser. I didn't see any cargo containers sorry to say, and I didn't wait for him to roll out the red carpet for me and I warped to a safe area.
Well it seems that this system only had one jump gate out and I wasn't about to be a hero or put any laser marks on my new ship. So after refusing to pay to leave I camped, logged on that alternate character and asked the GM to kindly put me where I had requested instead of the dead end system with the most notorious pirates in the game.
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The Wretch
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Posted - 2003.06.23 21:50:00 -
[20]
Setec has the best chats so far.
The Wretch
Cyberdyne Systems CEO
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Main
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Posted - 2003.06.23 22:01:00 -
[21]
setec is a cold, hard, little crap, setec, you are a very good pirate :), keep it up.
Main
Everlasting Vendetta Veteran
Member of the Stain Alliance |
nails
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Posted - 2003.06.23 22:23:00 -
[22]
ROFLMAO - "We are pirates, we have come to take your lo0t, jettison everything in your cargo hold or die" -- Pirate's #1 enemy, the n0ob that doesn't know how to jettison his cargo rofl.
Edited by: nails on 23/06/2003 22:26:00
Edited by: nails on 23/06/2003 22:26:22
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http://ota-corps.otaku.jp -- Anime l33t level
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Molly
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Posted - 2003.06.23 23:18:00 -
[23]
After podding me in Gehi:
Molly > nice try.
Molly > i reloged and came back down.
Molly > we will deal later.
ROFL > I know
hehe.
---
"Molly > funny thing is, if they warn me for attacking in 1.0, why does a GM wish me luck doing so?
Jash Illian > perverse sense of humor?
Molly > lol
Jash Illian > honestly tho, because he prolly doesn't know bships" |
loci
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Posted - 2003.06.24 00:02:00 -
[24]
these replies are like a bevis and buthead episode with the humour removed
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Molly
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Posted - 2003.06.24 00:55:00 -
[25]
And who are you? Beavis?
---
"Molly > funny thing is, if they warn me for attacking in 1.0, why does a GM wish me luck doing so?
Jash Illian > perverse sense of humor?
Molly > lol
Jash Illian > honestly tho, because he prolly doesn't know bships" |
Talur Lokarn
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Posted - 2003.06.24 11:14:00 -
[26]
I'd have to agree. So far I think the only Pirate I want to meet is Setec...all you others have no humour at all. Of course Molly's not a Pirate, but you come in second.
Please...surely there must be MORE funny stories out there...
*awaiting Crepiscule's wrath cause I don't find him funny*
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Main
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Posted - 2003.06.24 11:18:00 -
[27]
I would love to meet setec.
<setec>come to a complete stop and drop all your cargo...
<main>hmmmm....i don't know how to drop my cargo, sorry
<setec>hey, what are you doing, you're not ment to fire
<main>...
<setec>nooooo........you......
<setec>you have podded me, i am going to come back and kill you one day main...mark my words
hehehehehe ;)
Main
Everlasting Vendetta Veteran
Member of the Stain Alliance |
XeQtR
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Posted - 2003.06.24 11:47:00 -
[28]
"Unwise Trader > I'll give you 1k of my silcon. That's a lot of silicon
Setec > make it 2k
Unwise Trader > But that will take me hours to get back"
He actually whined after you've lowered the price to a few hours of work?? I'd be beside myself with joy.
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ROFL
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Posted - 2003.06.24 12:46:00 -
[29]
I love you Molly.
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Sybylle
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Posted - 2003.06.24 12:48:00 -
[30]
Hmm...Well, I'm not a pirate and I didn't killed anybody ingame (nor in real life :P)
All I can tell is that alot of ppl take Eve too seriously...Eve IS and remains a game.
Even if I'm not a pirate and I don't want to meet one, the whining guys make me laught alot.
They're like ppl complaining about an IT support and thinking they are essentials to the firm.
Pirates are part of the game. If you do not want to face them, avoid the places were they are.
If a pirate is kind enought to reduce the price, stop whining and pay...If you don't , face consequencies. And if you got enought of loosing all, well become a pirate.
Setec made me laught... Russian also (in other posts). Remember that pirate or not they are still players :P
(\_/)
(O.o)
(> <)=Oveur (proof)
"Jumping 50 systems I can like, have sex 150 times during that period" |
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