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Thread Statistics | Show CCP posts - 1 post(s) |
Joe Hinken
Cetan Consortium
7
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Posted - 2012.06.27 20:22:00 -
[31] - Quote
A Gallente Iteron IV was descending for a landing at a Jita Station they had never been to before. The pilot looked out the windshield and suddenly exclaimed to his copilot,"Holy Stuff! Look how short that runway is! I've never seen one so short!"
The copilot looked out the windshield. "Wow! you're right! That's insane! Are you sure we can make it?"
"Well we better, were almost out of fuel."
So the captain got on the intercom and notified the station to prepare for anemergency landing. Then he set the flaps to full down and slowed the ship to just over stall speed.
The Iteron came screaming in, on the ragged edge of control. The pilot's hands were sweating, the copilot was praying. They touched down and came screeching to a halt JUST before the edge of the runway, the tires smoking.
"Whew! That was close!" yelled the captain." That runway was short!"
"Yeah!" said the copilot,"and wide too!" |
Xavier Kaine
Valeth Imperial Command
Black Core Alliance
22
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Posted - 2012.06.27 20:31:00 -
[32] - Quote
yo momma's so fat, when she goes to buy groceries your dad has to light a cyno.
stole that one from my ceo |
BuckStrider
Nano-Tech Experiments
72
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Posted - 2012.06.27 20:36:00 -
[33] - Quote
ISD Dorrim Barstorlode wrote:What do you call a null sec fleet in a wormhole?
Trapped.
How does an ISD guy make a funny joke about EVE?
He rips it off from the WH guy's presentation at EVE Fanfest 2012 |
lanyaie
424
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Posted - 2012.06.27 20:43:00 -
[34] - Quote
What do you call..aah **** it I'm going to bed
I dont post often, but when I do i'm probably trolling you Currently offering 100% legit hulkageddon security sponsored by the mittani, send 50m to me and 50m to him |
Mike Azariah
Gallente Benevolence Association
Greater Realms
201
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Posted - 2012.06.27 20:56:00 -
[35] - Quote
"Knock knock"
"For gods sake, stop that, you know I can't open the door"
m |
Ursula Thrace
Red Federation
RvB - RED Federation
71
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Posted - 2012.06.27 21:52:00 -
[36] - Quote
Mike Azariah wrote:"Knock knock"
"For gods sake, stop that, you know I can't open the door"
ok, that was pretty funny.
Eve Online Original Intro |
Veronica Kerrigan
Hand Of Midas
My Other Laboratory is a Distillery
33
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Posted - 2012.06.27 21:52:00 -
[37] - Quote
I saw a brutor tribesman carrying a TV down the street, and I thought to myself "Did someone steal mine?!" Then I remembered, mine was at home, mowing the lawn.
A goon and a pig walk into a bar. The bartender says "What are you doing, bringing that filth in my fine establishment." The pig replies "My apologies fine sir, I will tie it up outside." |
Christopher Dulson
Royal Amarr Institute
Amarr Empire
41
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Posted - 2012.06.27 21:55:00 -
[38] - Quote
A twink walks into a bar and the barman says "Hi Mittans" |
Ila Dace
Center for Advanced Studies
Gallente Federation
51
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Posted - 2012.06.28 06:04:00 -
[39] - Quote
Xavier Kaine wrote:yo momma's so fat, when she goes to buy groceries your dad has to light a cyno.
stole that one from my ceo
Also...
Yo momma's so fat, they won't let her dock in stations anymore.
If House played Eve: http://i.imgur.com/y7ShT.jpg |
rodyas
Tie Fighters Inc
521
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Posted - 2012.06.28 06:18:00 -
[40] - Quote
Why did the hilmar cross the road?
The kind of funny answer only costs 5 million ISK.
The Most funny one will cost ya 5,000 Aurum.
I will not be voting in the CSM election, so you need to go vote to make up for me. |
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Arcturus Archangel
Sons of Michael
81
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Posted - 2012.06.28 06:23:00 -
[41] - Quote
Yo momma so fat, she cant fit inside a freighter.
Corporations and their Interstellar Kredits are soon parted. |
Ila Dace
Center for Advanced Studies
Gallente Federation
51
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Posted - 2012.06.28 06:28:00 -
[42] - Quote
There once was a miner from Azer
Who had not the grid for a laser
His drones pulled the Veld
While his shields barely held
And Goons took him out with a razor
If House played Eve: http://i.imgur.com/y7ShT.jpg |
Sekket
Dissident Aggressors
Mordus Angels
22
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Posted - 2012.06.28 06:28:00 -
[43] - Quote
Surfin's PlunderBunny wrote:There's no sea in spaCe
Oh the irony.
- CQ isn't a refuge, it's a cage.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2iu4iekX3WE |
Eugene Kerner
TunDraGon
62
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Posted - 2012.06.28 06:37:00 -
[44] - Quote
A lanky Caldari walks into a bar...
The bartender asks, "why the long face?"
The Caldari, incapable of understanding the concept of humor,
draws his sidearm and shoots the bartender in the face.
(not taking credit for it...) |
Eugene Kerner
TunDraGon
62
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Posted - 2012.06.28 06:38:00 -
[45] - Quote
Ila Dace wrote:There once was a miner from Azer
Who had not the grid for a laser
His drones pulled the Veld
While his shields barely held
And Goons took him out with a razor
wonderful |
Chokichi Ozuwara
Royal One Piece Corporation
Deadly Unknown
347
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Posted - 2012.06.28 07:36:00 -
[46] - Quote
Yo Momma so fat, every time she logs on, she triggers time dilation.
Yo Momma so fat, first time she saw a Providence, she called it a Twinkie.
Tears will be shed and pants will need to be changed all round. |
Joelleaveek
Center for Advanced Studies
Gallente Federation
58
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Posted - 2012.06.28 07:55:00 -
[47] - Quote
A horse and a pirate walk into a bar..... i forget the rest but your mother is a *****. |
Cloned S0ul
Blood Fanatics
154
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Posted - 2012.06.28 10:29:00 -
[48] - Quote
Fang Khan: Davion, what's the difference between a pulse laser and a beam laser?
Davion Vrynn: Pulse laser goes "pew, pew, pew" and beam laser goes "zzzzzttttttttt"
Fang Khan: Thank you for the kindergarten version of that explanat...
Source EvE Bash
Teemo for president. |
TheBreadMuncher
Boxxed Up Industries
EPIC Alliance
140
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Posted - 2012.06.28 10:49:00 -
[49] - Quote
A new ISD walks into the forums.
All hell breaks loose.
"We will create the introduction thread if that is requested by the community. Also, we will have an ISD Seminar about the CCL team in the coming weeks in which you can ask your questions about the CCL team and provide some constructive feedback to us." - Countless pages of locked threads and numerous permabanned accounts later, change is coming. |
Barrak
Blue Republic
RvB - BLUE Republic
42
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Posted - 2012.06.28 10:50:00 -
[50] - Quote
Yo mamma's so fat...... but it's okay, she's got plenty of space for fuel. |
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Destiny Corrupted
Deadly Viper Kitten Mitten Sewing Company
699
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Posted - 2012.06.28 10:55:00 -
[51] - Quote
ISD Dorrim Barstorlode wrote:What do you call a null sec fleet in a wormhole?
Trapped.
Hahahahaha!
Can I have my money now?
(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST) |
Lilliana Stelles
Mindstar Technology
Executive Outcomes
55
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Posted - 2012.06.28 10:59:00 -
[52] - Quote
How do you double the value of minmatar capital?
Fill the fuel bay.
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pussnheels
434
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Posted - 2012.06.28 12:02:00 -
[53] - Quote
Did you know that all minmatar pilots are all jediknights
They use ductape as their force
For it has a darkside and asticky side
I do not agree with what you are saying , but i will defend to the death your right to say it...... Voltaire |
Pinstar Colton
Sweet Asteroid Acres
150
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Posted - 2012.06.28 12:02:00 -
[54] - Quote
How do you seduce a Caldari woman?
Show her your stock portfolio, complete with a substantial and diversified set of assets.
How do you seduce a Gallente woman?
Tell her you are Caldari but wish to 'join' her after all, in a way that is frowned upon by the Caldari state standards for intercourse.
How do you seduce an Amarr woman?
Offer to be on the bottom.
How do you seduce a Minmatar woman?
Find one in an unhappy marriage and offer to 'free her' from it.
In the cat-and-mouse game that is low sec, there is no shame in learning to be a better mouse. |
Alissa Solette
University of Caille
Gallente Federation
4
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Posted - 2012.06.28 12:11:00 -
[55] - Quote
Joe Hinken wrote:So the captain got on the intercom and notified the station to prepare for anemergency landing. Then he set the flaps to full down and slowed the ship to just over stall speed.
Space ships can't stall!
I request that your pilots licence be rescinded this instant! |
Toshiroma McDiesel
Lupus Draconis
Dragehund
31
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Posted - 2012.06.28 13:38:00 -
[56] - Quote
Yo momma so fat, she plugs black holes.
The Valdspar is Holy, it must be allowed to float free. Free of lesser rocks that try to clutter it's Holy Path though the Heavens. |
Veronica Kerrigan
Hand Of Midas
My Other Laboratory is a Distillery
35
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Posted - 2012.06.28 14:28:00 -
[57] - Quote
How much EHP does an avatar have? Depends on how many ragnaroks are on field. |
Lin-Young Borovskova
Science and Trade Institute
Caldari State
378
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Posted - 2012.06.28 14:39:00 -
[58] - Quote
So far in this thread there's nothing really funny as Eve joke.
There's the "door" and the "window", "lag" too, but no one can make a good joke about these 
brb |
Tao Arnst
Republic Military School
Minmatar Republic
32
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Posted - 2012.06.28 14:39:00 -
[59] - Quote
Inferno
.....now thats the biggest joke....
Most people embrace GOOD change
Parasites embrace BAD change
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pussnheels
437
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Posted - 2012.06.29 14:15:00 -
[60] - Quote
Did you know that caldari ships are made in italy and only have four control buttons
Button 1 mova da ship
Button 2 stoppa da ship
Button 3 fire da missiles
Button 4 boosta da shields
I do not agree with what you are saying , but i will defend to the death your right to say it...... Voltaire |
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