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Thread Statistics | Show CCP posts - 0 post(s) |
KrustyKrab
Immortalis Inc.
Shadow Cartel
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Posted - 2011.05.10 19:24:00 -
[61]
confirming we need our hole(s) filled by young, fresh, muscular, oily-chested pool boys. We have our own underwear brand complete with sack-pouch logo (internal design, award-winning at that!), poo-hole velcro flap in the rear for easy access/purging, and a light yet firm waistband designed for the fattest of arses.
Stuff goes here |
KrustyKrab
Immortalis Inc.
Shadow Cartel
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Posted - 2011.05.11 20:33:00 -
[62]
so...no one wants to fill our hole(s)? We do have a black (ops) hole that needs to be filled. I know there are some strapping young men out there ready to covert cyno themselves into a hole full of other strapping young men to uh...beat down some other strapping young men.
wow, I need a shower now.
Stuff goes here |
Gottfred
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Posted - 2011.05.11 21:04:00 -
[63]
Posted an app on your forum
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Ctrl Freak
Immortalis Inc.
Shadow Cartel
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Posted - 2011.05.12 21:10:00 -
[64]
bump
Seeking more one-eyed yarrmobiles |
Alicawa Jovinynan
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Posted - 2011.05.13 06:22:00 -
[65]
Bump, we need more us/au timezone people, we'll even except kiwis.
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Akturous
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Posted - 2011.05.13 06:26:00 -
[66]
Doh, had the wrong account name selected, so you get Jita sitting noob on account alt.
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KrustyKrab
Immortalis Inc.
Shadow Cartel
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Posted - 2011.05.13 21:16:00 -
[67]
please be for excusing Akturous. Since I'm not allowed to cite massive failure that surrounds Shadow Cartel in a toxic cloud, I'll simply say that W0wbaggins still has plenty of cosplay costumes (free vegimite packets in the pockets) for all new recruits to dress up in.
Of course your first costume will be the red shirt guy from Star Trek (you know, the one that always goes with the 'away' team and ends up vaporized by some alien that looks relatively human except for some plastic/was %#@$@ stuck to their face to make them appear alien).
If you progress beyond that, we have Sailor Moon costumes (very very popular, usually a 3+ week waiting list to get one), one of those huge stupid mecha-robot things that shoots rockets and bombs while stomping people and machinery flat (popular with the younger pool-boy crowd), and even a very coveted Dale Jr. authentic NASCAR bit complete with proper fake 70's ****o mustache (careful, the glue to stick it to your upper lip is considered safe in China but a carcinogenic substance in USA/EU), and big hat.
Big hats are required even if you don't have a cosplay costume. A lot of us would prefer you wear a hardhat, fireman's suspenders, and a shaved, oiled chest.
Stuff goes here |
Ghazi
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Posted - 2011.05.14 22:42:00 -
[68]
Edited by: Ghazi on 14/05/2011 22:43:42
Bump.
Do not join us. We pvp like drunk 3 year olds without their aderol. I have NEVER seen fc'ing so terrible IN...MY...LIFE. I mean seriously our main fleet is a retriever hull fit RR gang and camp highsec belts.
If you EVER want to enjoy EVE, DO NOT JOIN THIS CORP.
Long live ... Gandhi why not...
***
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Waveshifter
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Posted - 2011.05.18 04:56:00 -
[69]
My Seven Pillars of Wisdom...
1. Well... if you are unsure if you have what it takes skillwise! No problemo... Skill limit is just a joke.. dont matter if you suck bigtime and have 1.2 mil sp.. just as long as you have an feminine voice, shaved balls, a mediterranean hairy type of chest and a few gloryhole carebear alts. Then our CEO and his "girlfriends" in the "recruitment department" will accept you faster than you can say "YarR me sideways"!
2. We hate foreigners.. if you are an alien from some weird planet, we dont want YOU! Stay away.. Oooh... we dont just hate foreigners, we hate everyone in this game! (EU ****, ****** Yanks and Kangaroo Bob¦s.. no need to apply, you will be auto-rejected!)
3. We operate on an NBSI basis.. yeah right!
4. Well.. if you are atleast 30 years old and not older than 35, thats a big +. We have to many ******s that are like 14 or whitetop grandpa's that are like 50+.
5. Another + is if you like to suck a**.. That is appreciated by the CEO, FC's and the management. Its a must if you want to get on our crappy armor Tempest roams and share the loot!
6. 00ooh.. BTW only T1 loot, T2 loot goes to the corp hangar (only +2 year members get their hands on that) any faction loot goes to the management for the hard work they put into the corp! 
7. "Are aware that getting to -10 sec status is a high probability" lol, not really! We spend the most of our time in station scrolling ships or in the icefields.. On friday's and saturday's we have mandatory ratting.. 200milion ISK is a minimum for each player and we have 90% tax during ratting time! If you can not meet this goal, you will be kicked out immediately!
So if you enjoy fail pirate pvp & carebearing in lowsec's worst pocket.. join us  !
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Ctrl Freak
Immortalis Inc.
Shadow Cartel
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Posted - 2011.05.19 14:59:00 -
[70]
bump
Still seeking failpirates in the US, AU, and NZ timezones.
Euros need not apply.
You wouldn't want to apply anyway. This terrible corp is ruining my game experience, my life, and my career as a shopping mall gimp. Close this thread before you make the worst decision in your life.
Go join necromongers, go role play with veto and rote kappele, go gatecamp with chain of chaos, just don't come here for the love of god and all that is holy do not come here.
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Chandaris
Gallente
Immortalis Inc.
Shadow Cartel
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Posted - 2011.05.21 00:53:00 -
[71]
/bump..
Joined SC and haven't looked back.. great guys, good fun.. total noobs really but we still somehow manage to win every fight by sheer luck
so join us or die, in fire, screaming.
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ItsmeHcK1
Lucifer's Hammer
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Posted - 2011.05.21 22:47:00 -
[72]
Most horrible group of pilots ever.
Their ceo is not only a fan of Bagger Vance, he's also a big WoW-fanatic, and while often be heard calling missions 'quests' and roams 'raids'.
They don't honour their word, don't actually split loot or reimburse anything and can do nothing but camp and blob.
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Ctrl Freak
Immortalis Inc.
Shadow Cartel
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Posted - 2011.05.22 22:48:00 -
[73]
Ctrl Freak > how about closing recruitment for euros
Ctrl Freak > we have too many euros
W0wbagger > i have already
W0wbagger > we are only recruiting us
Ctrl Freak > what about au and nz and jp and ch
W0wbagger > they = us
W0wbagger > everything that isnt eu is us
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KrustyKrab
Immortalis Inc.
Shadow Cartel
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Posted - 2011.05.29 19:37:00 -
[74]
KrustyKrab> Bagger, are we going to sit on this gate all night?
W0wbagger> hold on, I'm trying to get a quest from this agent
KrustyKrab> er...quest?
Ctrl Freak> wtf??? PLAY EVE!
W0wbagger> stfu I'm hurrying. We'll have to instance to anotehr zone so I'm checking the map
Chandaris> um are we still playing Eve?
W0wbagger> look godda**** if you are too impatient for this **** then you can join another guild. you guys are really ****ing me off
Ctrl Freak> whelp, better dust off my 'mount'
KrustyKrab> hoooooorayyyyyyy for necromancer +4 resist evil shieldsssssss!!!!!
LumpySnake> LEEEEEEERRRROOOOOOYYYYYY JEEEEEENNNNN***KIIINNNNNSSSSSS!!!!
Stuff goes here |
Ctrl Freak
Immortalis Inc.
Shadow Cartel
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Posted - 2011.06.15 03:47:00 -
[75]
Unfortunately the influx of foreigners has left our recruitment department jaw-dropped and dumb. Please be patient while we try to translate moonspeak to Bringlish. In the meantime, enjoy a recording of an absolute failure roam lead by our fearless pillow-hugging leader w0wbagger. 2 hours in lowsec
If you have reached the point where our immense failcascade has crashed your neural receptors and left you in a similar jaw-dropped and dumb state, please apply for our awful corp. However, if you have it in your mind that we are a good corp full of good pirates who pwn everyone, get the heck out of this thread now. We do not want you. Go away.
Updated Requirements::
150mil sp pvp toon minimum
mic with a fan on high (or play from a bowling alley)
creative wit and charm
broadway singing talent (this is a MUST)
velcro ship fitting policy
the ability to recite quotes from Attack of the Clones
10bil isk donation to the supercap fund
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Ctrl Freak
Immortalis Inc.
Shadow Cartel
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Posted - 2011.06.21 15:35:00 -
[76]
Currently looking for a few good men (sorry girls)
We have this crazy idea of a world-spanning corp holding hands from borneo to byzantium, moscow to montana, chile to china. We speak all languages that begin with R. Come join us on this international escapade!
If you think you have what it takes, a polite demeanor and welcoming attitude, then come play eve pirates with the best roleplayers in the game! Yarr!
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KrustyKrab
Immortalis Inc.
Shadow Cartel
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Posted - 2011.06.23 20:35:00 -
[77]
holy jeez, suddenly we've become the most atrocious, most awful pirates in lowsec. I blame our CEO W0wbagger. He's a terrible CEO. *sigh*
I could go on, but I'm already facing being kicked out of the alliance for even trying to recruit new people. Every new person I recruit, bagger is like 'wtf? i hate this guy! no #%@#$ way he's joining our alliance' so if you do put in an app, prepared to be rejected (while being emasculated).
So bottom line is...don't even apply to join our crap alliance. I'd leave if I could, but bagger is holding a few billion isk worth of items and ships and won't give it back (note to self and everyone else...never 'loan' our CEO anything, not even a T2 gyro, it disappears into his Somer Blink gambling black hole =(
Stuff goes here |
Rameus Luxmaar
Immortalis Inc.
Shadow Cartel
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Posted - 2011.07.06 14:32:00 -
[78]
*bump*
SHADOW CARTEL FOREVER!!
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Annumi Fujikawa
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Posted - 2011.07.06 15:34:00 -
[79]
I second rameus' motion, and would like to award rameus with the most awesomest guy ever award, effective immediatley |
Mahoosiv
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Posted - 2011.07.06 18:18:00 -
[80]
Top notch corp with track record.
Confirming plenty of the pew pew and nice guys (and gals). |
KrustyKrab
Immortalis Inc.
Shadow Cartel
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Posted - 2011.07.24 18:56:00 -
[81]
well...it seems we still could use some USA TZ idiots to keep our rate of failure going. I mean, you can tell the level of utter incompetence just by the fact we are EU-heavy in terms of membership (and let's be honest, the Brits are the ones dragging us down the most, but that is just a fact that everyone knows anyway).
You don't have to be fluent in Bringlish, but you should be able to decipher at least a few words out of every ten or twenty, or else you'll get left on a gate and get blasted, then our CEO will berate you in a Bringlish-Limey rant that is actually more humorous than shameful. Which will only make him rant more when you start laughing at him.
Pants are optional. Especially with the heatwave burning up the States these days. And if you are female, don't bother, as we know for a fact there aren't any females playing Eve, only pedobears pretending so they can get attention (though a few of us will try to put the moves on you regardless).
Anway, if you hate winning, love being yelled at, and are nearly ready to emoragequit and just need something or someone to push you over the edge, drop us a line (info in the first post of this thread)
Stuff goes here |
W0wbagger
Immortalis Inc.
Shadow Cartel
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Posted - 2011.08.17 21:07:00 -
[82]
EU Recruitment temporarily reopened for a few pilots - give us a buzz
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W0wbagger
Immortalis Inc.
Shadow Cartel
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Posted - 2011.08.21 11:39:00 -
[83]
bump!
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W0wbagger
Immortalis Inc.
Shadow Cartel
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Posted - 2011.08.22 18:11:00 -
[84]
couple more eu guys would be nice
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