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It's that time again: Ask an Ammatar Pt 4

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Pulgor	Posted - 2005.04.30 21:31:00 - [1] It's time for me to put in my community service hours again. The judge says I only have 3,670 to go! So lets see if we can shave that number down a bit huh? First an FAQ: Q: How do propose a querie to this service? A: Simply post your query below and it will be answered by one of our trained representatives (me). Q: No... that's all the Q's, this isn't a hard thing to figure out. ----------------------------------- Pulgor --- In service to Saram. Visit the Ammatar channel ingame!
Pulgor	Posted - 2005.04.30 21:53:00 - [2] Edited by: Pulgor on 30/04/2005 21:53:14 Originally by: Ceratin Dear Pulgor Everytime i step away from my console for more than a few moments, a senior member of my corp starts to stroke my legs. I've told him that i consider this to be unacceptable, and that he should at the least wait until i'm back to enjoy it, ut he seems to get a kick out of doing it. What should i do? Well, this cannot go un punished! Here's some things you can do: - Stop shaving them, now this will cause the opposite problem of NOBODY wanting to stroke your legs. - Another alternative would be to buy him a GLB "Pleasure hub" rated calander. This will make him far too busy to consider other tasks. However I once saw a corp go under because the CEO was looking at the GLB calander as opposed to attending meetings. - As well you could hire Wetwork, my attorney to take the case to CONCORD court! He will win the case and the judge will order this man to only stroke your legs when you are available to enjoy it! ITX-9 wanted to add an idea as well: "Master, I think she should simply blast the sack of meat if he does it again. Although that may be wishful thinking on my part, Master." I hope this helps. ----------------------------------- Pulgor --- In service to Saram. Visit the Ammatar channel ingame!
Pulgor	Posted - 2005.05.01 00:46:00 - [3] Originally by: Kyle Caldrel May i stroke your legs? (not u pulgor). No... Actually I don't know but I'll assume no. ----------------------------------- Pulgor --- In service to Saram. Visit the Ammatar channel ingame!
Pulgor	Posted - 2005.05.01 00:50:00 - [4] Originally by: Ikvar Edited by: Ikvar on 01/05/2005 00:18:58 Dear Pulgor, Why do I keep bothering you with stupid questions and can I have your corpse yet? Love, Ikvar. That's TWO questions! 1) Why do you bother me with stupid questions? I don't know, although answering strange questions is kind of what we do around here. 2) Can you have my corpse yet? No dammit, I'm using it right now! And before you ask: Yes, I do need my eyes! ----------------------------------- Pulgor --- In service to Saram. Visit the Ammatar channel ingame!
Pulgor	Posted - 2005.05.01 01:28:00 - [5] Originally by: Wilvarin Sense Dear Pulgor, A friend of mine had the misfortune of losing a brand new assault frigate under some minor embarassing circumstances a few days ago. Since then, my friend have been trying to get revenge.. COMPENSATION, from the person in question, who for some reason seems to have gone into hiding. Because of this, the individual have not been seen for several days. What should I do to get my compensation? My friend do, I mean. Sincerely, Wilvarin Sense Well this is a tricky proposition. The problem here is that the perpitrator may be hiding out for a while. here's some things I can recommend: - If you have this person's picture, put it up in a bathroom stall with the words, "4 H0T Luv, contact: <Name here>" This works best if the bathroom stall is in a gallente pleasure hub. - Another trick is to pirate him and his corp mates until you make the money back. Simply pirate or pod kill them until the amount lost equals what the assult frigate was worth. - If you see the perp in a bar, then toss some X-instinct in his drink, he should act a bit more chipper then usual =). Other fun things are: Crash, Bluepill, Drop, and synthetic oil. Wait, why synthetic oil you say? Well unlike regular oil, synthetic oil will dissolve into most heavier drinks when stirred enough (Drinks like wine, spirits etc... work very well for this). Then upon drinking the intestin removes the wine but leaves the synthetic oil which will recombine at the bowel causing extreem constipation. Even the strongest laxitives take a while to remove the pain. I hope one of these tricks works for you. Oh wait... there's one more: - Hire the GHSC to cause them financial ruin. However beware, this costs a fair sum of money and you may have to listen to Istvaan talk for hours and hours about his various hiests. If he starts that I recommend the stuff in drink trick =P. ----------------------------------- Pulgor --- In service to Saram. Visit the Ammatar channel ingame!
Pulgor	Posted - 2005.05.01 16:28:00 - [6] Originally by: Brute Helmet Mr Pulgor. That rude droid of yours, do you rent him out on occasion ? There are some people that I know who would benefit from some blasting. I used to rent him out but the prospect turned too dangerous. He gets a little.... carried away sometimes. It's probably best if you just blast the humans yourself as then there's no risk of bystandards getting shot. ----------------------------------- Pulgor --- In service to Saram. Visit the Ammatar channel ingame!
Pulgor	Posted - 2005.05.01 16:33:00 - [7] Originally by: Nero Scuro Question to the Ammatar - If a girl is 15 years old, and a man is 30 years old, then the man is twice as old as the girl. Twice as old! That's a big difference. Yet in 15 years, the girl will be 30 and the man 45! Assuming both of them survive... forever, doesn't that mean both of them will eventually be the same age? If the difference between the two keeps getting smaller and smaller, it must! MUST, I SAY! Actually Nero, that will only happen if they are trapped in a time differentiation anomaly like the one I encountered on Ossoger II. I was there on a routine patrol when suddenly time slowed down. I could tell because it took 6 minutes for my coffee to reheat as opposed to 3 minutes! I immidiately notified CONCORD but when they arrived the anomaly was gone! I explained to them what happened and they had the nerve to tell me that it was just the microwave on my ship! The microwave is fine! They can't just dismiss this, sooner or later it will bite them in the butt then who will have the last laugh!..... well actually they probably will if they get caught in an anomaly that slows time because then it'll take them twice as long to laugh as it will me. ----------------------------------- Pulgor --- In service to Saram. Visit the Ammatar channel ingame!
Pulgor	Posted - 2005.05.01 16:41:00 - [8] Originally by: Tar Kovsky Originally by: Nero Scuro Question to the Ammatar - If a girl is 15 years old, and a man is 30 years old, then the man is twice as old as the girl. Pulgor, don't the Caldari have laws against statuatory rape? Probably, but then again Nero could just be weird too. ----------------------------------- Pulgor --- In service to Saram. Visit the Ammatar channel ingame!
Pulgor	Posted - 2005.05.01 16:43:00 - [9] Originally by: Nero Scuro Originally by: Tar Kovsky Originally by: Nero Scuro Question to the Ammatar - If a girl is 15 years old, and a man is 30 years old, then the man is twice as old as the girl. Pulgor, don't the Caldari have laws against statuatory rape? Question to the Amateur - Are all Minmatar this dirty minded? It was a perfectly innocent question! OOooooh, clever insult "Amateur". I'll give you one Minmatar Fun Snack just for that. Also, yes, all Minmatar are that dirty minded. Now you know why they are the way they are =P. ----------------------------------- Pulgor --- In service to Saram. Visit the Ammatar channel ingame!
Pulgor	Posted - 2005.05.01 17:52:00 - [10] Edited by: Pulgor on 01/05/2005 17:52:34 Originally by: Nero Scuro Originally by: Pulgor OOooooh, clever insult "Amateur". I'll give you one Minmatar Fun Snack just for that. Well I WAS saving it for some witty retort to something, but all your answers are so benign (not to mention, not actually answers. Well, not to the questions asked anyway), makes it a little hard. * Nero Scuro munches on the Fun Snack Here now! If you have a problem with the service, please write to our office in Yulai. After 6 - 8 days they'll maybe probabaly send your letter back to you with a drawing of what they think you look like. Here's a sample: Dear Ask an Ammatar Complaints Dept: I am unsatisfied with the answers I've recieved from your service! I don't think they're answers to the questions that we're asking. Please remedy the problem. ---- Thank you for your letter. It has been recieved and will be processed soon.... no really, now that we already have your money we'll promptly get on it! Oh, and just for fun, we've included a drawing of what you may look like: --------------------------------------- So don't hesitate, send in your complaints now! ----------------------------------- Pulgor --- In service to Saram. Visit the Ammatar channel ingame!
Pulgor	Posted - 2005.05.01 18:28:00 - [11] Originally by: Zaintiraris Dear Pulgor, Where can I find Ceratin, and what are her off-hours, so that I can stroke her legs? With all these people wanting to stroke her legs, I'm beginning to think you sould start your search in a Pleasure Hub! ----------------------------------- Pulgor --- In service to Saram. Visit the Ammatar channel ingame!
Pulgor	Posted - 2005.05.01 18:42:00 - [12] Originally by: Graelyn Dear Pulgor: As a CEO, I try to make sure our corp hangars and offices make our pilots and crew feel at home during long deployments. As such, I often blare my favorite Kheram Symphonies over the loudspeakers. This has led to apparent self-inflicted head trauma among some of my Ammatar personnnel. In the interests of preserving the brain cells and cranial integrity of my people, what should I switch to? Now this is tricky, because Ammatar and Amarr music tastes differ very much. You're not going to beable to keep both camps happy. I recommend headphones and digital players with a selection of songs that both parties can enjoy then everyone can listen to what they want! However this does create a problem of people not being able to hear commands. Expect your accident ratio to tripple! However I'm not sure if this solves your problem as now that the braincells and integrity of the crewmen are saved.... the physical limbs arn't. Win some, lose some? ----------------------------------- Pulgor --- In service to Saram. Visit the Ammatar channel ingame!
Pulgor	Posted - 2005.05.01 20:36:00 - [13] Originally by: Tirun Araun Dear Mr. Pulgor, I'm reading all your fabulous hints with fascination. It must really be really really FASCINATING to have an Ammatar. I'd like to prod one. I figure, I could probably lure one with some Matar wine, they're really REALLY good by the way, you should try one, so do you have an address where I can mail order one, please? Really REALLY good wine! Here I'll share one with you. You must look dashing without those eyeshades. Tirun Araun smiles sweetly. Sorry, only Khanid wine for me! Besides I won't fall for your obvious trap. Now maybe if you could spice up the deal a little I would be more inclined to accept your offer. And you'll have to do better then Matari wine, I think I use that stuff to take out blemishes in my ships hull! ----------------------------------- Pulgor --- In service to Saram. Visit the Ammatar channel ingame!
Pulgor	Posted - 2005.05.01 20:40:00 - [14] Originally by: Ikvar Dear Dr. Sunglassesmguy, What makes you qualified to answer questions? I went to Quafe University where they teach you such classes as: -Answering questions -TV/VCR repair -Home vetrenarian -1337 Sp3a\|< 101 -SRX Droid Repair. -Councelling -Rehab administration -Or get your degree! ----------------------------------- Pulgor --- In service to Saram. Visit the Ammatar channel ingame!
Pulgor	Posted - 2005.05.01 20:42:00 - [15] Originally by: Amataras Edited by: Amataras on 01/05/2005 20:02:57 Dear Pulgor, are you going to be making any public appearances any time soon? I appeared at an Ammatar Arms weapons convention once.... I don't do many public appearences though. See, the thing is... I've got lots of people that want to kill me and this creates a problem. ----------------------------------- Pulgor --- In service to Saram. Visit the Ammatar channel ingame!
Pulgor	Posted - 2005.05.01 20:45:00 - [16] Originally by: Tariel Orenia Dear Mr. Pulgor; Why are you so darned handsome? And would you consider a relationship with a nubile young Gallentean man? That's a first, I believe the other night was in a channel and they told me I was "Lord of the Fedo's" or something. It was very disterbing. As for your second question: While I'm generally not into that kind of thing, you're pretty damn good looking. I'm not sure if I could resist your charms! Therefore I'm going to stay 10ft away from you at all times to avoid such a happenstance. ----------------------------------- Pulgor --- In service to Saram. Visit the Ammatar channel ingame!
Pulgor	Posted - 2005.05.01 21:17:00 - [17] Originally by: Tirun Araun Originally by: Pulgor See, the thing is... I've got lots of people that want to kill me and this creates a problem. KISS you, you mean, kiss you! But I'm over it now. I still want something to prod. I hardly consider a particle blaster a "kiss" although you may think differently. Well I'm glad your over it, hopefully we can still be friends =P. ----------------------------------- Pulgor --- In service to Saram. Visit the Ammatar channel ingame!
Pulgor	Posted - 2005.05.02 01:04:00 - [18] Originally by: Tirun Araun A kiss of particles, a kiss of death, a kiss of moonlight, or a kiss of poison, and most of all a kiss of Matari wine. But I'll try that Khanid. If it's not red I'll be throwing a tantrum. Or wait, I can't, I have an appointment with a scientist. Tirun Araun walks over to the window, opens it, and climbs out. You don't want to try Khanid wine then. It's green. ----------------------------------- Pulgor --- In service to Saram. Visit the Ammatar channel ingame!
Pulgor	Posted - 2005.05.02 01:05:00 - [19] Originally by: Bastables Originally by: Ceratin Dear Pulgor Everytime i step away from my console for more than a few moments, a senior member of my corp starts to stroke my legs. I've told him that i consider this to be unacceptable, and that he should at the least wait until i'm back to enjoy it, ut he seems to get a kick out of doing it. What should i do? I resent the implication that this is done under duress or a matter of "taking advantage" of combat pilots. Besides which this is standard procedure for pilots that continuously step away from their duties. You were just "Inspecting the troops" right? See it was all just a simple misunderstanding! ----------------------------------- Pulgor --- In service to Saram. Visit the Ammatar channel ingame!
Pulgor	Posted - 2005.05.02 12:33:00 - [20] Originally by: ThePilgrim Dear Pulgor, Why is the the only topic that I have (EVER!) read that has not been flamed I will assume you mean, why is this the only topic you've read that hasn't been flamed? If so, then it's just because I'm awsome. And now, thanks for that it's going to get flamed =(. ----------------------------------- Pulgor --- In service to Saram. Visit the Ammatar channel ingame!
Pulgor	Posted - 2005.05.02 12:41:00 - [21] Originally by: Jakk Graiseach Dear Pulgor, Quafe or Starsi? Good question! The answer is: None of the above. I once drank quafe but it was such a horrible drink I had to put bluepill in it to spice it up. This didn't help my drug problem too much you see. I tried to put the bluepill in Starsi but the resulting action was some kind of weird gas that ripped the pain of walls. I didn't try to drink it out of fear it might do the same to my intestines. Therefore instead of either drink I only drink Khanid wine now since I have given up the bluepill habit. If I ever go back maybe I'll try putting some crash into the starsi and see if has less i'll effects although a friend of mine thinks that the reaction was "The revenge escaping." I certainly hope not. ----------------------------------- Pulgor --- In service to Saram. Visit the Ammatar channel ingame!
Pulgor	Posted - 2005.05.02 13:04:00 - [22] Originally by: Discorporation Dear Pulgor, My implants give the appropriate reaction when in space, but they don't do very well at parties. I'd love to be someone other then the guy who sits in the corner, and scares the kids. Where can I get cool shades like yours? For some odd reason I've only ever seen Minmat's wearing them. Now I'm not sure why that is but I fear it's some kind of conspiricy. However that would be a pretty lame conspiricy and nowhere near on par with what people have been cooking up lately. So more then likly it's only a trend in Minmatar space. Now as for where to get them, I am very sure the only place is the Republic Military school but I don't think you'll have much luck there. My recommendation would be to wait in an ally of a Minmatar astation and simply abduct a passer by and take their shades! Yes yes, I know that's stealing but I'm very sure they won't sell them to an Amarr. One time I went to get the lenses on mine replaced and the dealer decided he didn't like the way the sale was going and tried to write a new ending with his 9mm as co-author! Unfortunately I had to blast him and then I had to spend 3 days in the Matari lockup for "Blasting an Armed citizen." (Not sure why only 3 days. I guess they're really leniant down there.) ----------------------------------- Pulgor --- In service to Saram. Visit the Ammatar channel ingame!
Pulgor	Posted - 2005.05.02 19:00:00 - [23] Originally by: Weston McArthur I have some questions that have been bugging me for a few months. The first just popped into my head, the other was after reading a historical text at the State War Academy for my pilot license renewal (which oddly didn't seem to have anything to do with piloting). 1. Is that the left or right side of North? and... 2. What is the ultimate question to the ultimate answer (42)? 1. Well we all know that north is up. So now left and right are reletive to the direction. So when you face up, then your left side is on your left and your right side is on your right. However sometimes if you're upside down then your right side is on your left but only when in a tunnel. If you're in the open then your right side is on your left and your left on your right and vice versa. I hope that answers your question. 2. The question was: 46 + 2 - 1 + 3 - 3. Please show your work. ----------------------------------- Pulgor --- In service to Saram. Visit the Ammatar channel ingame!
Pulgor	Posted - 2005.05.02 19:02:00 - [24] Originally by: Discorporation Thanks Pulgor, I will give your advice a shot and report here if i make it back. (Chances are low I make it out of an Minmatar alley alive, especially whenhaving just robbed a big giant Brutor or Sebiestor of his prized specs.) Don't worry Discorp! I'm sure you'll get away unscathed. You've been in worse spots. What about the time the entire Minmatar Republic attacked you and you fended them off with a rusty fork! Oh wait.... that might have been a dream I had. ----------------------------------- Pulgor --- In service to Saram. Visit the Ammatar channel ingame!
Pulgor	Posted - 2005.05.02 19:12:00 - [25] Originally by: Kyle Caldrel Dear pulgor, If you could have true love or a big gun of ultimate galactic domination, which would you take? That's no contest, I'll take the gun. Call me a heartless husk of human flesh but that would just be too awsome to pass up! However I'm kind of waffling a bit, maybe some torpedo's to sweetin the deal would be in order. ----------------------------------- Pulgor --- In service to Saram. Visit the Ammatar channel ingame!
Pulgor	Posted - 2005.05.02 22:19:00 - [26] Originally by: Babs Johnson Dear Pulgor: I have a problem. When my boyfriend and I go out in public, he is always looking at other women. I tell him how hurtful it is to me when he does that but he denies it and says it's just my imagination. Last night, we went out to dinner and I caught him in the act of flirting at some Caldari tart at the next table, so when we got back to his place, made a drink for him laced with a sedative, and when he passed out I surgically removed his left kindey and sold it on the black market for seven million isk. Does this make me a bad person? Unforunately it might. It depends what you did with the ISK. If you bought your boyfriend a GLB pleasure hub calander then it may be excusable, however it'd have to be the one that's "Hand delievered" by Keligh Doyle herself. On the other hand if you used it to buy yourself a preimum subscription to FTL channel 6447, for the "Everlasting Worlds and Empires" show then I'll have to be very displeased because that's what I wanted! ----------------------------------- Pulgor --- In service to Saram. Visit the Ammatar channel ingame!
Pulgor	Posted - 2005.05.03 12:51:00 - [27] Originally by: Cassie Johannson I see you are in the Jericho Fraction now. Has Ammatar Arms gone out of business with the theft of your blueprint? No, not really. It's presence in space is minimalized once again though. Horatio Nemarr, owner of the company being the only member left. Notorious a company it is though it most likly won't ever be fully shut down dispite the numerous violations of Tanoo safety laws, and SPCS guidelines. Do not dispair however, I can still be made available to answer the questions of the populace! For without answers how can the truth be known? ----------------------------------- Pulgor --- In service to Saram. Visit the Ammatar channel ingame!
Pulgor	Posted - 2005.05.03 19:07:00 - [28] Originally by: Horatio Nemarr I doubt what comes out of your mouth resembles anything like the truth. Ammatar Arms: Faithfully serving God and Emperor for 150 years. Have a quafe... sit back... enjoy... ----------------------------------- Pulgor --- In service to Saram. Visit the Ammatar channel ingame!
Pulgor	Posted - 2005.05.03 19:17:00 - [29] Originally by: Vera Liskrii Dear Pulgor, I have been tasting my way across the universe for awhile now, and I'm running out of places to go. Can you, ITX-9, or Wetworx make any suggestions for a good place for food that I wouldn't have tried? Hmm... well having run out of places in safe space, the next trip for you should be out to the neather regions. Go to alliance space. Make your way into curse space and taste the "Shattered Dreams Stew" or go down to Xetic and have the "Stain Olives." (Carful though, they're not called stained olives because of the alliance.) Or head on up north and have the "War torn chilli." Head west and taste the "NORAD Soulfe" and down south in FIX you can taste the "Rat stew" and "Ganked biomass supreme." Those locales should keep you interested. You can always come up to Star Fraction and I'll serve you a "Freespace saucer" A Pizza with several awsome topings from around the galaxy. I hope this helps. Oh and Wetwork told me to tell you that you should correct the spelling of his alias or else he'll "Knock you into the next centery with his boxing gloves of legal fortitude!" I'm not sure what that means but it dosn't sound good. ----------------------------------- Pulgor --- In service to Saram. Visit the Ammatar channel ingame!

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