This is the most battleships I have ever seen in one place....

Can I try? I'll try...

The Ballad of Joe Popo!

Now this is the story of a troll
we'll call Joe Popo
- he made first in our poll.

Joe bravely fits Goon ships all day long.
Living off Goonswarm pay.
To feel real strong...

He does little nice API scripts sometimes, too.
Some Goons are too stupid for Dotlan, it's true!

Joe Popo is a courageous guy.
He joined the Goons on a fly!

Paid his all times SA forum fee.
With the EVE experience of your usual dumb tree.

But - please! don't expect me to vote him down!
He's the happiest Goon
- though he is a clown.

We once asked him what The Mittani was like.
He said: "Man, do I know, the dude's never around?"
He never once was while I played this game...
As a matter of fact, I'll note down his name!"

"But I set up a party in Paris for Goons!"
What a beautiful setting for their beautiful toons!

And I wonder through all my sleepless nights,
Did he buy Jaegermeister
as a special surprise?

The truth about Joe is as easy as this:
If he takes a P he might easily miss,
if his Bs aren't around to hold him steady,
and point his gun and say 'Yearh, you're ready!"

In truth Null sec is a sad affair.
The dangers of Null Sec...?
Just aren't there!

Fly through their systems and see them all dock
from the terrible ratting and mining they mock
Their 'whiny' High Sec cousins about..
"We are like you, but we're special and loud!"

So they make more ISK an hour, you say?
What price do the Joe's of this world really pay?

Have a boss like Mittani who is never there
Unless to add to his mystical flair?

And is he the only one so detached?
Some Goon guys that died were equally matched
By total ignorance from most of their team.
If you don't count at all, then what is the scheme?

The last truth I'll tell you is simple to get:
It is you, High Sec Bears, that make them fat.
Believe in the lies of dangers in Null.
And they are in their rights to call you dull.

And I'll add a note for Joe and his friends:
This is the start, lets see where it ends.


Also, Joepopo: In truth we of course luv you. All of us Except for some of us.... If you ever happen to be stranded in Belgium, we can have a drink. ;)
Though of course the Ballad tells many truths...

He did do nothing, just like the rest of the Goons never did anything to me.

He is just such a funny guy and proper material for a ballad.
I rarely get "butthurt" over space pixels.

So other than a 300% efficiency in Joe's battle yesterday, what else did Joe do to make you guys so butthurt? Or it it just because he didn't fit warp core stabs to his instacane and you still think that's silly?

You seemed pretty butthurt yesterday when you were hurling schoolyard insults around at people in JU.

As long as fun is to be had We will be involved. My employer is already prepared to offer similar prizes for Round 2 and ammo production is already lined up.

May We suggest a wider net for the next round?

Thank you for the ballad. It's quite cool :)

Who won the prizes for the first VFK burn?

Really? Well, I just joined the smack talk orgy that was already in progress between you guys and Harry.
Its pretty unproductive any day, but a good thing to while away time during a stalemate.

You couldn't find us... We couldn't hurt you playing gate games, because we were too few and your group composition included too many SB killers...

Our fleet speech actually was fun and relaxed though and all on our side had a good laugh as usual and agreed it was a great day. We'll see you again soon (TM) I'm sure.

Thank you for the ballad. It's quite cool :)

Who won the prizes for the first VFK burn?

Glad you like it, it came from heart...

If it wasn't fun, we'd not do it. As it is it is fun and also profitable enough.

I don't know about the prices, really. Guess Harry will have to see. I'll certainly not win a Bantham as it is.

I joined late, first day after a forced EVE absence and though I spotted targets that were destroyed, there was no good target for a SB, sadly. :)

Unsurprisingly Joe, the Tengu went to Harry himself. For like smacktalking or something.
A couple of other prizes went to the others for various reasons. All very suspect.

Yeah sure, just announce it here for all to see.

I hope i will be getting a consolation prize for being the biggest loser of the day.

Edit: Ah well, no. it was the Raven pilot again.. Welp!

It's EVE Online, what did you expect?

Hey, I offered to warp to you for a 5 on 1 away from gates, and I was in a T1 cruiser. Admittedly it's because I couldn't be bothered to gate jump back to VFK, but still, you didn't take me up on my offer.

Unsurprisingly Joe, the Tengu went to Harry himself. For like smacktalking or something.
A couple of other prizes went to the others for various reasons. All very suspect.

Well, there is the fact that last time we trusted Goons to act "honorably" and stick to their word, they didn't.
Unsurprisingly, really, I wouldn't know if I had kept it. ;)

Well I'm SMA :p
and That's why I offered to join your fleet and warp to you, so i couldn't bring allies and you could stage in a safe. I had to fly like 2 jumps thanks to you.

Mission accomplished!