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Callduron
369
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Posted - 2013.06.08 07:56:00 -
[1] - Quote
Wow what a pretentious wall of sperg, Any of the old school 07 Something Awful Rifter heroes would have griefed anyone posting this off the internet.
Quote: June 7th Fountain War Update
Good morning gentlemen and welcome to your first post-invasion briefing. ItGÇÖs D+1 and our troops are ashore along the coast of Fountain. JerryGÇÖs railway bridges and infrastructure south of the Loire have taken a bally pounding and our chaps in the Royal Navy have wiped the floor with the fleets the Bosch has thrown at the troop convoys. So far, things are looking dashed decent overall and even the Yanks managed to get ashore at Omaha without their usual 50% casualties for once. The Canadians under General Vily managed to get one of the big ships run aground for a bit, but he sent out a GÇ£tally-hoGÇ¥ and you fellows rallied round like absolute bricks. Still, itGÇÖs not over yet. The eggheads up at Military Intelligence have picked up fleet movements and radio broadcasts which suggest that the ghastly Hun has moved thirty or so divisions from the Fountain Peninsula to somewhere in Italy, just south of Rome, and heGÇÖs declared that heGÇÖll defend France from there. Dashed rum move and it seems the Boodafuhrer has flipped his bloody lid or something. Field Marshal von Beffah threw her oar in as well, getting on the horn to their divisional commanders and ordering them all to gather up anything they could roust up from their billets and make for the Swiss border toute bally suite. All completely bloody raving lunacy, militarily, I donGÇÖt need to tell you.
In the East, the Russians under Marshal "Uncle Vince" Drakenkev took advantage of the whole kerfuffle to drive their Querious front forward: take a good look at this map here and youGÇÖll see that theyGÇÖve already taken a few key bites out of Poland: http:// evemaps.dotlan.net/map/Querious It seems the Hun is having a spot of difficulty replacing
Panzers fast enough to keep up with losses and we have reports of the 324th Reserve GÇ£TribeGÇ¥ Division charging the enemy on foot shouting GÇ£brum brum IGÇÖma panzerGÇ¥ while making clippy-clop noises with coconuts for some reason. ItGÇÖs ghastly shame to see these simple native chaps cut down like that but I rather suppose they made their own bed, what?
IGÇÖm afraid itGÇÖs not all a bed of roses, however. One does so hate to be the bearer of bad knews and suchlike but the Brazil front GÇô codename "Operation Spacemonkey" GÇô somehow conspired to get themselves invaded without anyone noticing. The whole thing beggars belief but it seems that the Bosch sent his elite Paratroopers to take the sun-loving, inoffensive simpletons of the Amazon basin by surprise, and before you can say GÇ£MacarenaGÇ¥ the jack-booted thugs were strutting around as bold as you please, rounding up the Jews and making come-to-bed eyes at the local wildlife. Anyhoo, I suppose weGÇÖll have to get Admiral Inter to sail over there at some point and introduce them to a spot of gunship diplomacy.
Remember chaps: the sun never sets on the CFC Empire! Mainly because God doesnGÇÖt trust us in the shade. Damned sharp chap, that God fellow. Well, carry on chaps. Next stop 6VDT-Paris In The Spring and some saucy little minx called Collete, eh?
Duller, Saner, More Informative
As of a few hours ago weGÇÖd moved about two thousand pilots south to the Fountain border, including over six hundred caps and supers. That doesnGÇÖt count those who just podded themselves down and picked up ships from contracts, or from friendsGÇÖ SMAs, when they got there.
TheAdj was, frankly, adjing it up, clearly having to switch off his mic and count to ten on occasion, but fortunately he managed to internalise his rage and store it away for a future embolism. He did threaten to simply DD any caps that messed up the move and made it clear that we werenGÇÖt going back to pick up anyone at all. I remember Sir Molle proudly posting pictures of pre-campaign capital move ops and in not one of them do I remember the thonged-one proudly posing, surrounded by hundreds of capitals and with one foot resting on the heaped carcasses of a handful of executed carriers. Still, we managed to move the first six hundred or so caps and supers with relative ease, avoiding the horrors we experienced - I originally documented in trail of tears dot jpg - on the way to Delve last year to help Test when they asked us to dig them out of a hole. Which we did. Hanging out with PL on that campaign helped a lot with newer supercap pilots.
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Callduron
369
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Posted - 2013.06.08 07:57:00 -
[2] - Quote
Quote:There will be many more ops for the supers and capitals who werenGÇÖt available to move on a Thursday night without notice, donGÇÖt worry. Just donGÇÖt go trying to solo down using cynos, I beg of you in the name of my Lord and Saviour.
Meanwhile, in Berlin
The reaction from TestGÇÖs leadership was baffling. For one thing, they have evacuated to lowsec, presumably on the advice of someone from RaidenDot, who lasted about a week after doing that. Beffah immediately broadcasted a warning for people to evacuate anything from Fountain that they arenGÇÖt happy to lose: GÇ£If you like it and are afraid you might lose access, move it.GÇ¥ She also told her members that we were GÇ£destituteGÇ¥. In fact, Goonswarm is extremely cash-and-asset rich right now. But our income has plummeted, so while we could probably live off capital and pre-patch investments like isotopes and our old Guidance Systems stash for the best part of a year, weGÇÖd be stuffed in 2014. That situation is why weGÇÖve been forced into this invasion. Given testGÇÖs currently parlous finances I suspect there is a degree of projection going on right now.
Booda then posted a somewhat surreal news item headed by a badly-mocked-up GÇ£Bullshit MeterGÇ¥ allegedly showing MittensGÇÖ SotA, in which he said GÇ£well, no propaganda, we need to secure more income in OdysseyGÇ¥ as GÇ£off the charts.GÇ¥ He then announced that by evacuating Fountain he had GÇ£thrown a spannerGÇ¥ in our plans to, erm, take Fountain. We dance to his tune, it seems. TestGÇÖs reimbursement queue is heavily backed-up right now, and they asked people who lost their ships on the NOL shield timer not to submit requests for reimbursement until they had petitioned CCP. TheyGÇÖve suggested that this is just admin, not a consequence of losing hundreds of billions of ISk in a fortnight, but by contrast our reimbursement team processed over five hundred requests per day during Burn Jita, without a problem.
Booda also did a strangely downbeat and uninspiring State of the Alliance for Test, in which he claimed to have known about this invasion GÇ£three weeks agoGÇ¥. In which case I rather wish he had told us as weGÇÖd have been a lot more prepared. He also claimed that the whole thing was "happening exactly as we wanted it to happen". Which sits ill with him quietly firing Viktor - the architect of the backstab on us when Test went back on their Querious agreement - from his diplo role, and even worse with the approaches from two separate well-known Test figures in the last three days begging us to turn on NCdot and to ambush their supers in one case, and not to invade Fountain in the other.
Booda has also repeatedly threatened to move Test Alliance in "next door" to us when they lose their space. Those who were on the Delve deployment can probably imagine how keen we are to get him to put that in writing.
Shout-outs
TheAdj IGÇÖve mentioned, while DaBigRedBoat, EveGÇÖs premier sov-taker, snapped nine jump-bridge links in Fountain using Tengufleet and killed two entire Test fleets in the process. Lyris Nairn has been a dynamo, running fuckyoufleet doctrine ships in fights and bringing something like seven or eight convoys as well. Alizabeth Vea has been doing brilliantly in her new role in Skyteam, and of course Rydis was busy, too.
BL and 401k did, genuinely, manage to reinforce various SMA assets without them noticing, so credit where credit is due there. We expected this, of course - Elo would provide manual relief to a dog if he got to shoot goons at the end of it - but it was still well handled
Your CorrespondentGÇÖs View From the Front Lines
Personally I had fun blapping Test slashers on the B-D undock. Well, when I say blapping slashers I mean inflicting zero damage with citadel cruise missiles at 600mrange on a single slasher in 10% tidi because I have a lawlviathan. That slasher pilot never knew what didnGÇÖt hit him. But I knew I had to get on some subcap killmails in the Levi if I was to have any chance of joining PL, who I hear are desperate to get their hands on shield titans.
Coming Soon
As ever we have some surprises lined up. I think youGÇÖll enjoy them! |
Callduron
369
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Posted - 2013.06.08 07:57:00 -
[3] - Quote
Goonswarm 2013. Literally Jadecougar. |
baltec1
Bat Country
6874
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Posted - 2013.06.08 08:42:00 -
[4] - Quote
Look at this bitter alt poster. |
Iszi
Martyr's Vengence Test Alliance Please Ignore
19
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Posted - 2013.06.08 08:44:00 -
[5] - Quote
baltec1 wrote:Look at this bitter alt poster.
Which one? |
baltec1
Bat Country
6875
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Posted - 2013.06.08 09:11:00 -
[6] - Quote
Iszi wrote:baltec1 wrote:Look at this bitter alt poster. Which one?
Wait they are triplets |
Callduron
369
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Posted - 2013.06.08 09:41:00 -
[7] - Quote
baltec1 wrote:Iszi wrote:baltec1 wrote:Look at this bitter alt poster. Which one? Wait they are triplets
Hey F13 called, they want their special snowflake back. |
Toshiro Ozuwara
Association of Commonwealth Enterprises Test Alliance Please Ignore
48
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Posted - 2013.06.08 10:23:00 -
[8] - Quote
If my fleet commander (DBRB) got podded by Test and lost Fleet Command level 5, and we lost nearly every PvP engagement on day 2 of the invasion, I'd want to post a bunch of colorful prose too. |
baltec1
Bat Country
6877
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Posted - 2013.06.08 13:35:00 -
[9] - Quote
Callduron wrote:
Hey F13 called, they want their special snowflake back.
They cant have it back. |
Proletariat Tingtango
GoonWaffe Goonswarm Federation
347
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Posted - 2013.06.08 13:58:00 -
[10] - Quote
Toshiro Ozuwara wrote:If my fleet commander (DBRB) got podded by Test and lost Fleet Command level 5, and we lost nearly every PvP engagement on day 2 of the invasion, I'd want to post a bunch of colorful prose too.
If I'd burned my diplomatic bridges, spurned a coalition, pissed off every ally and member corp worth two halves of a ****, and been unable to defend any timers come invasion day, I'd probably feel the need point and laugh at DBRB too.
Maybe I'd feel that way for just a second, but realizing my eventual loss in fountain I might refrain from dissing the guy who is spearheading the campaign that will inevitably unseat me from the region. |
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WarFireV
Blackwater USA Inc. Pandemic Legion
90
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Posted - 2013.06.08 15:55:00 -
[11] - Quote
How is something posted on Kugu a leak? |
Lykouleon
GoonWaffe Goonswarm Federation
808
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Posted - 2013.06.08 16:59:00 -
[12] - Quote
WarFireV wrote:How is something posted on Kugu a leak? And reddit...and TMC...
If this is TEST's vast spy network at work, I'm just going to evac all my assets now. They're so much better than us at it. Wow really does show how pathetic Goonswarm is, u drop 8 blackops onto a logi ship in the middle of nowhere, maybe when goonswarm gets some skilled pilots then mayb just mayb you'll be able to compete with TEST.
I would fully support account bans by ccp for meta type stuff like this. |
Toshiro Ozuwara
Association of Commonwealth Enterprises Test Alliance Please Ignore
51
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Posted - 2013.06.08 17:36:00 -
[13] - Quote
Proletariat Tingtango wrote:If I'd burned my diplomatic bridges, spurned a coalition, pissed off every ally and member corp worth two halves of a ****, and been unable to defend any timers come invasion day, I'd probably feel the need point and laugh at DBRB too. To be honest, I would probably laugh at dbrb even if I wasn't in Test. He's that laughable.
But seriously, why so toxic friend?
Proletariat Tingtango wrote:Maybe I'd feel that way for just a second, but realizing my eventual loss in fountain I might refrain from dissing the guy who is spearheading the campaign that will inevitably unseat me from the region. We might lose Fountain. We might not.
You won't be there
http://eve-kill.net/?a=pilot_detail&plt_id=1203054 |
Lykouleon
GoonWaffe Goonswarm Federation
811
|
Posted - 2013.06.08 21:03:00 -
[14] - Quote
My god you're precious and adorable. You've never heard of a posting alt, have you? Oh, that is just the most adorable darn thing I've seen all day.
Waddle your autistic butte over here so I can give you a pinch on the cheek and a candy bar for trying so hard. Wow really does show how pathetic Goonswarm is, u drop 8 blackops onto a logi ship in the middle of nowhere, maybe when goonswarm gets some skilled pilots then mayb just mayb you'll be able to compete with TEST.
I would fully support account bans by ccp for meta type stuff like this. |
Erotica 1
Krypteia Operations
235
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Posted - 2013.06.08 21:46:00 -
[15] - Quote
I'm still doubling Test isk. Fight the goons back!
Let me help you help yourselves. See Bio for isk doubling rules. -áIf you didn't read bio, chances are you helped fund those who did. |
Varesk
Origin. Black Legion.
377
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Posted - 2013.06.09 02:58:00 -
[16] - Quote
Lykouleon wrote:My god you're precious and adorable. You've never heard of a posting alt, have you? Oh, that is just the most adorable darn thing I've seen all day. Waddle your autistic butte over here so I can give you a pinch on the cheek and a candy bar for trying so hard.
oh no you cannot talk about posting alts due to the GRRR GOON forum tag line of "Post with your main" crap thats been spewed on this forum for ages.
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Callduron
372
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Posted - 2013.06.09 06:17:00 -
[17] - Quote
baltec1 wrote:Callduron wrote:
Hey F13 called, they want their special snowflake back.
They cant have it back.
Can't. |
Callduron
372
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Posted - 2013.06.09 06:18:00 -
[18] - Quote
WarFireV wrote:How is something posted on Kugu a leak?
Everything posted on Kugu is a leak. |
Callduron
372
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Posted - 2013.06.09 06:25:00 -
[19] - Quote
Varesk wrote:Lykouleon wrote:My god you're precious and adorable. You've never heard of a posting alt, have you? Oh, that is just the most adorable darn thing I've seen all day. Waddle your autistic butte over here so I can give you a pinch on the cheek and a candy bar for trying so hard. oh no you cannot talk about posting alts due to the GRRR GOON forum tag line of "Post with your main" crap thats been spewed on this forum for ages.
Grrr posting alt is a metagaming ploy.
Post on your main so we can watch list you figure out how to suicide gank you in high sec. Several Eve players have been targeted by Goon hit squad Miniluv for posting or blogging in a manner uncomplimentary to the Mittani such as White Rose and Mabrick.
http://fiddlersedge.blogspot.co.uk/2012/07/white-rose-conventicle.html http://mabricksmumblings.blogspot.co.uk/2012/07/goons-if-you-cant-take-heat-please-get.html
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Toshiro Ozuwara
Association of Commonwealth Enterprises Test Alliance Please Ignore
58
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Posted - 2013.06.09 08:56:00 -
[20] - Quote
Lykouleon wrote:You've never heard of a posting alt, have you? I don't think anyone courageous has to hide behind a posting alt.
Lykouleon wrote:Waddle your autistic butte over here so I can give you a pinch on the cheek and a candy bar for trying so hard. Watch your toxic bro, this isn't Kugu.
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knobber Jobbler
Bat Country Goonswarm Federation
240
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Posted - 2013.06.09 10:03:00 -
[21] - Quote
Toshiro Ozuwara wrote:If my fleet commander (DBRB) got podded by Test and lost Fleet Command level 5, and we lost nearly every PvP engagement on day 2 of the invasion, I'd want to post a bunch of colorful prose too. Wait, test put up a fleet? So far tests fight back has consisted of bombing some dreads, a talwar fleet, a failed rokh fleet where the fc didn't have a micro jump drive so got killed when they bailed and two bc fleets that got decimated when they bubbled themselves. If that is winning we need to redefine the meaning of winning and losing. |
Alavaria Fera
GoonWaffe Goonswarm Federation
3616
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Posted - 2013.06.09 16:18:00 -
[22] - Quote
knobber Jobbler wrote:Toshiro Ozuwara wrote:If my fleet commander (DBRB) got podded by Test and lost Fleet Command level 5, and we lost nearly every PvP engagement on day 2 of the invasion, I'd want to post a bunch of colorful prose too. Wait, test put up a fleet? So far tests fight back has consisted of bombing some dreads, a talwar fleet, a failed rokh fleet where the fc didn't have a micro jump drive so got killed when they bailed and two bc fleets that got decimated when they bubbled themselves. If that is winning we need to redefine the meaning of winning and losing. They can ~win~ into our bombs all they like. I am a nullsec zealot. |
WarFireV
Blackwater USA Inc. Pandemic Legion
91
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Posted - 2013.06.09 18:48:00 -
[23] - Quote
They are going to moral victory the **** out of you! |
Callduron
372
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Posted - 2013.06.09 19:26:00 -
[24] - Quote
WarFireV wrote:They are going to moral victory the **** out of you!
And the moral of this story, children, is learn the difference between "moral" and "morale". |
WarFireV
Blackwater USA Inc. Pandemic Legion
92
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Posted - 2013.06.09 22:00:00 -
[25] - Quote
Callduron wrote:WarFireV wrote:They are going to moral victory the **** out of you! And the moral of this story, children, is learn the difference between "moral" and "morale".
HEY GUYS LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT GRAMMAR ON THE INTERWEB! |
Alavaria Fera
GoonWaffe Goonswarm Federation
3640
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Posted - 2013.06.10 21:42:00 -
[26] - Quote
WarFireV wrote:Callduron wrote:WarFireV wrote:They are going to moral victory the **** out of you! And the moral of this story, children, is learn the difference between "moral" and "morale". HEY GUYS LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT GRAMMAR ON THE INTERWEB! I actually thought TEST was going to claim a moral victory.
Not like their morale is going to beat us, but ~self defense~ is a great high ground to get murdered on. I am a nullsec zealot. |
Scooter McCabe
SUNDERING Goonswarm Federation
191
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Posted - 2013.06.13 20:11:00 -
[27] - Quote
This wasn't a leak so much as a copy pasting of a TMC article. |
fukier
Unclaimed.
949
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Posted - 2013.06.13 20:29:00 -
[28] - Quote
Callduron wrote:baltec1 wrote:Iszi wrote:baltec1 wrote:Look at this bitter alt poster. Which one? Wait they are triplets Hey F13 called, they want their special snowflake back.
it appears my f13 haz been replaced with a print screen button...
i am depressed. At the end of the game both the pawn and the Queen go in the same box. |
Callduron
382
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Posted - 2013.06.14 00:16:00 -
[29] - Quote
Scooter McCabe wrote:This wasn't a leak so much as a copy pasting of a TMC article.
Never look at the place mate, it's junk. |
Scooter McCabe
SUNDERING Goonswarm Federation
195
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Posted - 2013.06.14 02:18:00 -
[30] - Quote
Callduron wrote:Scooter McCabe wrote:This wasn't a leak so much as a copy pasting of a TMC article. Never look at the place mate, it's junk.
Well who ever is looking at it for you needs a heads up.
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