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EU's 5year plan for English

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Author	Thread Statistics \| Show CCP posts - 1 post(s)
Xoria Krint	Posted - 2006.01.25 10:08:00 - [1] The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English". In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter. In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters that have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away. By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand etsh oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru .. Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas. ---- Space Invader \| Unknown \| Xoria Krint
wierchas noobhunter	Posted - 2006.01.25 10:11:00 - [2] politic sux soar angelic now recruting
Xoria Krint	Posted - 2006.01.25 10:14:00 - [3] Originally by: wierchas noobhunter politic sux Please read before comment ---- Space Invader \| Unknown \| Xoria Krint
wierchas noobhunter	Posted - 2006.01.25 10:18:00 - [4] Originally by: Xoria Krint Originally by: wierchas noobhunter politic sux Please read before comment still politic sux soar angelic now recruting
Gothikia	Posted - 2006.01.25 10:25:00 - [5] i hope your frakking kidding, might as well just be talking german. But english is fine the way it is, with the internet everyone is writing in American-English. color ftw! colour sucks! ps. politics dont suck, just damn annoying at times, bloody capitalists :(
wierchas noobhunter	Posted - 2006.01.25 10:29:00 - [6] Originally by: Gothikia ps. politics dont suck, just damn annoying at times, bloody capitalists :( so true soar angelic now recruting
DarK	Posted - 2006.01.25 10:30:00 - [7] that's funny as ****
Calisto Cody	Posted - 2006.01.25 10:32:00 - [8] thats great, since everyone use english-american anyway, they now have even more to learn on a complex freaky language Signature removed, allowed image dimensions are 400w x 120h. --Jorauk grrrr now i need to ask someone to shrink my sig
Testy Mctest	Posted - 2006.01.25 10:46:00 - [9] This is a JOKE, its not serious..... Surely you people didnt actually believe it? The sheer stupidity of humanity is so much more comical than anything that can be written down :S Incidentally, this joke is also a good few years old. The Eve Guild Wars Project!
Xoria Krint	Posted - 2006.01.25 11:00:00 - [10] Haha, Yes its a joke. ---- Space Invader \| Unknown \| Xoria Krint
Kyht	Posted - 2006.01.25 11:09:00 - [11] Lol
Calisto Cody	Posted - 2006.01.25 11:33:00 - [12] hahah i get jokes Signature removed, allowed image dimensions are 400w x 120h. --Jorauk grrrr now i need to ask someone to shrink my sig
Uggster	Posted - 2006.01.25 11:40:00 - [13] Hahaha As a dyslesic Englishman living on the Euro mainland this would be a blissfull fronetik heavan for me.....
Dark Shikari	Posted - 2006.01.25 11:42:00 - [14] This is very old, but still very funny -- Proud member of the [23]. The Tachikomas are DEAD! Click sig for video.
Buzzmong	Posted - 2006.01.25 13:00:00 - [15] I heard this ages ago, but it's still good. --------------------------------- Contact Nautilus Industries in the channel "Naut Shipyard" for T1 Ship manufacture in the Gallente core systems.
Gothikia	Posted - 2006.01.25 13:39:00 - [16] Originally by: Xoria Krint Haha, Yes its a joke. DIRTY ROTTEN *****!!!! U OTTA ******* WITH THE ***** AND I HOPE IT FALLS OFF THEN YOU'LL HAVE TO **** * ******* ** **BANDITS! nice one mate you had me there for a sec, rofl
Zuki Ed	Posted - 2006.01.25 14:28:00 - [17] roflmao I cna ytpe 300 wrods pre mniuet!!!
ParMizaN	Posted - 2006.01.25 16:07:00 - [18] lmao Phenomena of ironies, cast the litany aside How intelligible, blessed be the forgetful
Peter Armstrong	Posted - 2006.01.25 16:42:00 - [19] LOL class Dark Skyes Website Under Construct
Dark' Lord	Posted - 2006.01.25 16:57:00 - [20] lmao gd stuf lol
Mouriq	Posted - 2006.01.25 17:47:00 - [21] Damn that was funny!
Soulis	Posted - 2006.01.25 18:23:00 - [22] nice
Kyozoku	Posted - 2006.01.26 03:47:00 - [23] it was funny when i first read it about 6 months ago.
Sakura Nihil	Posted - 2006.01.26 04:26:00 - [24] nice :) "8.) After each wrecking shot, you shall yell "THANK YOU SIR, MAY I HAVE ANOTHER!""
Xoria Krint	Posted - 2006.01.26 08:25:00 - [25] Originally by: Kyozoku it was funny when i first read it about 6 months ago. This is for you ---- Space Invader \| Unknown \| Xoria Krint
Bellac	Posted - 2006.01.26 11:23:00 - [26] ROFL What made this even funier is that some peeps actually believed it. Funniest thing i have read in ages, It's really cheared me up
My grandfather	Posted - 2006.01.26 11:31:00 - [27] Originally by: Bellac ROFL What made this even funier is that some peeps actually believed it. Funniest thing i have read in ages, It's really cheared me up QFT! I can't believe people fell for this...
shakaZ XIV	Posted - 2006.01.26 11:58:00 - [28] Originally by: Bellac Funniest thing i have read in ages, It's really cheared me up indeed :D
Nuala Reece	Posted - 2006.01.26 14:33:00 - [29] Originally by: Dark Shikari This is very old, but still very funny Very, very old - the original version's generally attributed to Mark Twain Linkage, although there's some dispute about that. But Twain did write A Simplified Alphabet in 1899 which is maybe what the letter drew on in the first place. Be Free Starlancers
Xoria Krint	Posted - 2006.01.26 14:39:00 - [30] Originally by: Nuala Reece Originally by: Dark Shikari This is very old, but still very funny Very, very old - the original version's generally attributed to Mark Twain Linkage, although there's some dispute about that. But Twain did write A Simplified Alphabet in 1899 which is maybe what the letter drew on in the first place. It does not matter if its old or not, Many people have not seen it. So please stop the "Its old" posts. It just looks stupid. ---- Space Invader \| Unknown \| Xoria Krint
Siren Shiva	Posted - 2006.01.26 14:46:00 - [31] I did not believe it. I win.
Nuala Reece	Posted - 2006.01.26 15:16:00 - [32] I do apologise, Xoria. Far be it from us to contribute (and add) to a thread. You do appreciate that saying it's old isn't an attempt to knock your post but to join in the conversation, don't you? For my part I thought people might like to see some other versions of the same joke (which, incidentally, I did find funny even though I've read a variation before). It's not personal, so you shouldn't take it that way - just go with the flow and see what your post leads to. Be Free Starlancers
Xoria Krint	Posted - 2006.01.26 15:23:00 - [33] Originally by: Nuala Reece I do apologise, Xoria. Far be it from us to contribute (and add) to a thread. You do appreciate that saying it's old isn't an attempt to knock your post but to join in the conversation, don't you? For my part I thought people might like to see some other versions of the same joke (which, incidentally, I did find funny even though I've read a variation before). It's not personal, so you shouldn't take it that way - just go with the flow and see what your post leads to. Apologie accepted. My bad for quoting you. Kyozoku should be a better choice. ---- Space Invader \| Unknown \| Xoria Krint
HippoKing	Posted - 2006.01.26 16:28:00 - [34] lmao the number of people taking this seriously makes me cry
Jon Engel	Posted - 2006.01.26 18:40:00 - [35] Why would the EU hegemony bother with official languages when its a multinational/ethnic organization? blah blah blah. Im glad I live in a Nation where we only speak English and Spanish.
Xoria Krint	Posted - 2006.01.26 18:43:00 - [36] Originally by: Jon Engel Why would the EU hegemony bother with official languages when its a multinational/ethnic organization? blah blah blah. Im glad I live in a Nation where we only speak English and Spanish. ---- Space Invader \| Unknown \| Xoria Krint
Reto	Posted - 2006.01.26 20:05:00 - [37] Edited by: Reto on 26/01/2006 20:04:22 Originally by: wierchas noobhunter Originally by: Xoria Krint Originally by: wierchas noobhunter politic sux Please read before comment still politic sux correction m8...politik susk !
Laythun	Posted - 2006.01.26 20:57:00 - [38] Originally by: Calisto Cody thats great, since everyone use english-american anyway, they now have even more to learn on a complex freaky language what on God's green earth in 'english-american'??? its english or it isnt. american's speak a different dialect See Me! http://195.225.8.195:7090/listen.[/url]
Laythun	Posted - 2006.01.26 20:58:00 - [39] also, twas funny See Me! http://195.225.8.195:7090/listen.[/url]
Nafri	Posted - 2006.01.26 21:22:00 - [40] Originally by: Laythun Originally by: Calisto Cody thats great, since everyone use english-american anyway, they now have even more to learn on a complex freaky language what on God's green earth in 'english-american'??? its english or it isnt. american's speak a different dialect Nope, we got american-english marked as an mistake in school. Its not really the same, really british english is quite different
Plim	Posted - 2006.01.27 03:56:00 - [41] Aye, and Yorkshire English is something entirely different -----------------

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