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Thread Statistics | Show CCP posts - 3 post(s) |
Berneh
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Posted - 2006.01.29 23:54:00 -
[1]
We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note, these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1. Men ARE not mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months IS a problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will Be scratched.
We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and y! ou say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine... Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
Or golf.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
Pass this to as many men as you can,
to give them a laugh.
Pass this to as many women as you can, to give them a bigger laugh
Signature is not appropriate for the forums - Vanamonde |
jbob2000
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Posted - 2006.01.30 00:05:00 -
[2]
qft
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Calisto Cody
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Posted - 2006.01.30 00:16:00 -
[3]
bern has no girlfriend btw lol, guess why
Signature removed, allowed image dimensions are 400w x 120h. --Jorauk
grrrr now i need to ask someone to shrink my sig |
TauTut
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Posted - 2006.01.30 00:27:00 -
[4]
I see there is no rule for men to attack haulers with lots of mins in Jita with suicide caracals ... that's probably because real men don't do that kinda thing eh Bern!
-TT
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Berneh
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Posted - 2006.01.30 00:30:00 -
[5]
 Originally by: TauTut
I see there is no rule for men to attack haulers with lots of mins in Jita with suicide caracals ... that's probably because real men don't do that kinda thing eh Bern!
Suicide caracals ?
Well i never 
Signature is not appropriate for the forums - Vanamonde |
Chrisb6122
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Posted - 2006.01.30 00:39:00 -
[6]
All hail berrny !
lol
i just sent that to my female msn contacts and there now offline lol connection maybe lol
_____
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wierchas noobhunter
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Posted - 2006.01.30 15:45:00 -
[7]
so true
soar angelic now recruting |
Testy Mctest
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Posted - 2006.01.30 16:09:00 -
[8]
Q: "Does this dress make my bum look big?"
A: "No, your fat makes your bum look big"
The Eve Guild Wars Project! |
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Tuxford
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Posted - 2006.01.30 16:44:00 -
[9]
Originally by: jbob2000
qft
Aren't you supposed to quote something, preferably the thing that is "the truth" 
Quote:
1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
I hate when my gf asks me to do something and then tells me I did it wrong.
_______________ |
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Halo Serenity
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Posted - 2006.01.30 17:43:00 -
[10]
1. Only women are allowed rules, men just follow those said rules we create. 
Sig made by Esturary
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jbob2000
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Posted - 2006.01.30 18:06:00 -
[11]
Originally by: Tuxford
Originally by: jbob2000
qft
Aren't you supposed to quote something, preferably the thing that is "the truth"
well the entire thing was true, and my post was first and im lazy.
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Alex Kynes
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Posted - 2006.01.30 18:15:00 -
[12]
Momental revelation: Woman hate watching football because two teams of buff athletes are off chasing a ball, not her. 
/AK
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Eris Discordia
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Posted - 2006.01.30 19:44:00 -
[13]
Regarding clothes and shoes:
More is more and less is a bore
There is no such thing as enough clothes or shoes, there is only to little closet space!
Men 
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Hippey
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Posted - 2006.01.30 20:56:00 -
[14]
Originally by: Eris Discordia
Regarding clothes and shoes:
More is more and less is a bore
There is no such thing as enough clothes or shoes, there is only to little closet space!
Men
Just because women believe it, doesn't make it so :)
Just remember this simple universal formula
Root of all evil = women
Still love hawt goth minmatar chicks though <3
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If you do nothing to stop slavery, you do everything to support it |
Verizana
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Posted - 2006.01.30 22:34:00 -
[15]
Originally by: Verizana
Originally by: Berneh
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
this one is very very true, I hate when people answer me in essays when I ask a simple yes or no question.
Sigs for you! Convo for prizes and such. Gallery |
Verizana
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Posted - 2006.01.30 22:34:00 -
[16]
Originally by: Berneh
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
Sigs for you! Convo for prizes and such. Gallery |
Samirol
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Posted - 2006.01.30 23:40:00 -
[17]
Originally by: Berneh
1....We have no idea what mauve is.
umm....what is mauve
You won't like me when i am mad |
Ralus
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Posted - 2006.01.30 23:47:00 -
[18]
Originally by: Samirol
Originally by: Berneh
1....We have no idea what mauve is.
umm....what is mauve
I think its a sorta brown colour, maybe... I dunno 
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Grimwalius d'Antan
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Posted - 2006.01.30 23:58:00 -
[19]
I know so many people that need to hear this: If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
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Eris Discordia
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Posted - 2006.01.31 00:11:00 -
[20]
Originally by: Ralus
Originally by: Samirol
Originally by: Berneh
1....We have no idea what mauve is.
umm....what is mauve
I think its a sorta brown colour, maybe... I dunno
This is the colour, now go and impress your girlfriend
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jbob2000
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Posted - 2006.01.31 00:27:00 -
[21]
mauve is a type of car...pssh duh!
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keepiru
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Posted - 2006.01.31 03:40:00 -
[22]
You, sir, are my hero :D
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Please fix the stacking algorythm, it's a disgrace!
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Esturary
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Posted - 2006.01.31 04:47:00 -
[23]
/me glares at Berneh
Check Out My Sigs AND Teh real me |
Mr Floppyknickers
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Posted - 2006.01.31 05:43:00 -
[24]
Originally by: Eris Discordia
Originally by: Ralus
Originally by: Samirol
Originally by: Berneh
1....We have no idea what mauve is.
umm....what is mauve
I think its a sorta brown colour, maybe... I dunno
This is the colour, now go and impress your girlfriend
So why not just say Pink? It's pink!
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Berneh
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Posted - 2006.01.31 05:50:00 -
[25]
Looks pink to me too
Moderation is not appropriate for the forums - Vanamonde |
Tony Fats
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Posted - 2006.01.31 06:23:00 -
[26]
How many men does it take to open a can of beer?
None. It should be open by the time she brings it.
*burp*
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Samirol
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Posted - 2006.01.31 06:28:00 -
[27]
Edited by: Samirol on 31/01/2006 06:28:35
Originally by: Mr Floppyknickers
Edited by: Mr Floppyknickers on 31/01/2006 05:52:25
Originally by: Eris Discordia
Originally by: Ralus
Originally by: Samirol
Originally by: Berneh
1....We have no idea what mauve is.
umm....what is mauve
I think its a sorta brown colour, maybe... I dunno
This is the colour, now go and impress your girlfriend
So why not just say Pink? It's pink!
oh and off topic, but it's gotta be said. Esturary that video on your site is AMAZING! Is there anyway I can download that from somewhere?
Pink
"Mauve"
As we can um...clearly see, there is such a huge distinction.
You won't like me when i am mad |
kessah
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Posted - 2006.01.31 06:57:00 -
[28]
wow spot on.... spot on.
--------------------------------------------------------
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GouldFish
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Posted - 2006.01.31 07:51:00 -
[29]
Very nice. :)
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jbob2000
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Posted - 2006.01.31 12:56:00 -
[30]
Quote:
Pink
"Mauve"
Aside from the size difference, they look exactly the same
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fairimear
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Posted - 2006.01.31 15:29:00 -
[31]
Edited by: fairimear on 31/01/2006 15:32:15
Edited by: fairimear on 31/01/2006 15:30:10
Originally by: Eris Discordia
Originally by: Ralus
Originally by: Samirol
Originally by: Berneh
1....We have no idea what mauve is.
umm....what is mauve
I think its a sorta brown colour, maybe... I dunno
This is the colour, now go and impress your girlfriend
THATS PINK PINK
this is the travesty of a color
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Gothikia
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Posted - 2006.01.31 18:26:00 -
[32]
Originally by: Halo Serenity
1. Only women are allowed rules, men just follow those said rules we create.
if it involves you, me and some handcuffs and some kinkeh other stuff then i welcome it...
and yeah guys have rules and YOU lot follow them...
(and no mistress cordy that dosn't apply to you.. please dont hit me with a brick again  )
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Insane Asylum
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Posted - 2006.02.01 04:30:00 -
[33]
This man speaks the truth....
I am Trey Azagthoth's alt, and I approve this message. |
Brolly
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Posted - 2006.02.01 05:26:00 -
[34]
Soo, mauve is just dirty pink?
I hate pink
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Samirol
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Posted - 2006.02.01 16:03:00 -
[35]
okay, so mauve is a shade of pink, what about green? Why isn't green getting some love here, shouldn't a dirty green be called "suave" or "pauve"?
You won't like me when i am mad |
Shade Widow
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Posted - 2006.02.01 16:31:00 -
[36]
After considerable debate with myself and a few colleauges, we have decided Mauve is infact pink. They are just set at different contrasts.
---
And im here again in the rain, alone and cold. Liquid rebirth of the world, destroyer of souls.
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Berneh
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Posted - 2006.02.02 08:13:00 -
[37]
pink > mauve tbh
but blue > pink
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Berneh
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Posted - 2006.02.02 08:14:00 -
[38]
http://www.googlefight.com/index.php?lang=en_GB&word1=pink&word2=mauve
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Dimitri Chandler
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Posted - 2006.02.02 09:08:00 -
[39]
did Berneh just get dumped?
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Glassback
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Posted - 2006.02.02 11:24:00 -
[40]
Originally by: Eris Discordia
More is more and less is a bore
Just because something rymes doesnt make it true.
;)
G.
I've got an idea--an idea so smart that my head would explode if I even began to know what I'm talking about
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Dak Hakin
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Posted - 2006.02.02 11:52:00 -
[41]
Originally by: jbob2000
Quote:
Pink
"Mauve"
Aside from the size difference, they look exactly the same
*tries to resist saying it..*
screw it.
"Thats what she said"
_______________________________________________
Proudly serving Electus Matari
Mr. Grumpy-sour-pus |
Wakibaki
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Posted - 2006.02.08 19:02:00 -
[42]
Ah dear, not only did showing this to a girl get me beaten it also means a 17 month headache is now acceptable damn it Bern stop Fackin wit my love life you cant have me stop tainting my other chances!!! and as for the sig i hope u bern baby... bern...
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Rungar
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Posted - 2006.06.02 20:38:00 -
[43]
Originally by: Tuxford
Originally by: jbob2000
qft
Aren't you supposed to quote something, preferably the thing that is "the truth"
Quote:
1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
I hate when my gf asks me to do something and then tells me I did it wrong.
I'll drink to that!
___________________________________
Dodge this....
Making excuses to play EVE  |
Nyabinghi
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Posted - 2006.06.02 23:52:00 -
[44]
Originally by: Tuxford
I hate when my gf asks me to do something and then tells me I did it wrong.
Just tell her it's being corrected in the next patch.
I make cool banners for ISK.
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Frank Horrigan
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Posted - 2006.06.02 23:58:00 -
[45]
Im posting this on mypsace like mad.. get all the emo girls ****y.. lol
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Samantha Dar'Khan
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Posted - 2006.06.03 01:07:00 -
[46]
Originally by: Nyabinghi
Originally by: Tuxford
I hate when my gf asks me to do something and then tells me I did it wrong.
Just tell her it's being corrected in the next patch.
ROFL i LOL'd at that one ^^
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Chrisb6122
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Posted - 2006.06.03 01:18:00 -
[47]
Originally by: Samantha Dar'Khan
Originally by: Nyabinghi
Originally by: Tuxford
I hate when my gf asks me to do something and then tells me I did it wrong.
Just tell her it's being corrected in the next patch.
ROFL i LOL'd at that one ^^
necro 4tl?
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LWMaverick
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Posted - 2006.06.03 01:19:00 -
[48]
*Braaaaaiins*
Poverty |
Bentguru
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Posted - 2006.06.03 02:09:00 -
[49]
Originally by: Hippey
Just because women believe it, doesn't make it so :)
Just remember this simple universal formula
Root of all evil = women
Still love hawt goth minmatar chicks though <3
that is incorrect, the full proof goes as follows.
Everybody knows that girls require money and time to keep pleased, so...
Girls= Money X Time
We also know that time is money, so
Money = Time
and, by substitution...
Girls = (money) x (money)= (money)^2
Finally we know that money is the root of all evil
Money= (evil)^.5
So, by putting it all together we get the final result.
Girls = (money)^2 = ((evil)^.5)^2
Simplified...
Girls = Evil
proving what we suspected all along.
--
New Petition Inc Vid
This signature is protected by the pattented NoDev 2000 technology. THERE WILL BE NO COLORS
But colors are fun!!-Kaemonn
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Border201
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Posted - 2006.06.03 02:20:00 -
[50]
^^ From what I remember it's you set money to evil and not the root of all evil giveing you Girls = Evil^2 then solve for evil which gives you Girls^.5 = Evil meaning that Girls are the root of all evil.
At least thats what I have in my bio
Originally by: Tuxford
once tried to kick my brother when I had my pants around my ankle. Probably not my brightest moments.
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Dak Hakin
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Posted - 2006.06.03 04:12:00 -
[51]
Man Laws
_______________________________________________
I am the devil, and I'm here to do the devils work.
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Sakura Nihil
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Posted - 2006.06.03 04:22:00 -
[52]
Using algebra to prove that girls are evil and simultaneously the root of all evil...
Brilliant 
1st Lieutenant Sakura Nihil
CEO, Tharsis Security
Tharsis is now recruiting PvPers/Pirates |
Roshan longshot
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Posted - 2006.06.03 13:12:00 -
[53]
Originally by: Esturary
/me glares at Berneh
But Est, its the truth!!!
I am sooooo dead....
Free-form Professions, ensure no limetations on professions. Be a trader, fighter, industialist, researcher, hunter pirate or mixture of them all.
[i]As read from the original box.
We are not ebil forum police, for one thing I don't have a hat :( - Cortes |
Baldour Ngarr
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Posted - 2006.06.03 13:14:00 -
[54]
Originally by: Bentguru
Finally we know that money is the root of all evil
Everybody knows that. Such a shame that it's not actually what Saint Paul said, thus rendering the whole joke completely non-funny.
________________________________________________
"I tried strip mining, but I lost, and it's cold flying around in space naked." |
Nikolai Nuvolari
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Posted - 2006.06.04 00:10:00 -
[55]
I can't even handle 16 colors, I only comprehend nine: Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue, Purple, Black, Grey, and White.
--------
Tom Thumb > for a nut case you rawk
[04:21:15] Mebrithiel Ju'wien > Nik's bio 4tw btw
[07:38:53] Graelyn > Nikolai for Dev 108!
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Dak Hakin
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Posted - 2006.06.04 00:21:00 -
[56]
Originally by: Nikolai Nuvolari
I can't even handle 16 colors, I only comprehend nine: Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue, Purple, Black, Grey, and White.
*coughs* and pink
_______________________________________________
I am the devil, and I'm here to do the devils work.
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Nikolai Nuvolari
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Posted - 2006.06.04 02:06:00 -
[57]
Ah yes, I forgot to mention that a lot of other men seem unable to process RED, and tend to interpret it as pink.
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Tom Thumb > for a nut case you rawk
[04:21:15] Mebrithiel Ju'wien > Nik's bio 4tw btw
[07:38:53] Graelyn > Nikolai for Dev 108!
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| Pages: 1 2 :: [one page] |