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Mr Male
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Posted - 2006.05.05 03:12:00 -
[1]
It was a warm spring night, I had just returned from the soccer. My mother made me hot choclate and I had the sudden urge to try my hand at the pirating. I was nice and comfortable but I felt like a angry bear looking to kill a salmon. So I fitted my raven that I had trained for immediately from the beginning of my eve playtime, I had only the ability to use large heavy assault missiles which i had six launchers to kill npc pirates in my lvl 2 missions. I, being a crafty bear, fitted a nice versitile setup which I will reveal but my secret.
2 Heavy Launcher Missiles
2 Medium Pulse Lasers
2 Ep-Guassian Miner
1 Micro Smartbomb
1 Free slot to fit during space
2 Warp scramblers
2 cap recharger
1 target painter
1 small shield booster
4 warp core stabs
1 co pro(for cap)
(sorry for grammar, mum was not around)
So I search belts in the low security system for easily killable mining vessels, the first belt I warped to there was no one. I tried my hand at the npc pirates and looted a name cap recharger which I have fitted now kekekeke >.<. Second belt, I met a caracal cruiser and mining barge who were mining, I convoed them and decided not too shoot them...it could have been a tough fight. The mining barge had medium drones, and flashed to make me aware that they were angry bears too. I warped to the next belt and met a merlin...it was mining and I was ready to fight it. I looked it at on it and saw that it was mining a roid so I positioned myself next to it and proceeded to mine aswell to trick it. He stole from my jet can and I opened fire on his vessel, quickly returned fire but my missiles had already brought his shield down doing 11.4 dmg each, I had only heavy missile lvl 1 becz I was training to become an ew pilot and join an alliance probably bob. His missiles and turrets began to eat through my shields closer than my smal lshield booster could keep up so I convoed him for ransom but he ignored and typed an 'lol' in the local channel but I warped out thanks for 4 warp core stabs and I called him a snot head in the local chat. I warped back to station to repair my armor but great fight I spilt my hot choclate and my mom got mad it ruined my pants and burnt my shins and I got mad and hit my chair. was a fun fight and I almost got my first kill.
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Hey You
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Posted - 2006.05.05 03:17:00 -
[2]
Edited by: Hey You on 05/05/2006 03:21:13
I ******* love you.
Best part of the whole thing.
Second belt, I met a caracal cruiser and mining barge who were mining, I convoed them and decided not too shoot them...it could have been a tough fight. The mining barge had medium drones, and flashed to make me aware that they were angry bears too.
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Blind Man
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Posted - 2006.05.05 03:18:00 -
[3]
go back to wow/cs/wc3/etc child
Passari will never be safe again
sig thingy under maintenance |
KilROCK
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Posted - 2006.05.05 03:20:00 -
[4]
roflmao
Petwraith ♥ me. I make sigs |
Mr Male
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Posted - 2006.05.05 03:22:00 -
[5]
Edited by: Mr Male on 05/05/2006 03:22:35
If malka is out there to read this, I like you and if you give me hints to kill stuff like you do please?
No worried, no pants or shins were harmed in the making of this story but the chair is ok my hand hurts bad and my***** spaniel wouldnt quit barking for he was an angry bear too i think but I acciently hitted him wit my playstation controller. |
Mr Male
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Posted - 2006.05.05 03:26:00 -
[6]
 Originally by: KilROCK
roflmao
rdaloam bak at u buddy cowboy |
Mr Male
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Posted - 2006.05.05 03:26:00 -
[7]
Originally by: KilROCK
roflmao
rdaloam bak at u buddy cowboy |
Xoria Krint
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Posted - 2006.05.05 03:28:00 -
[8]
Originally by: Mr Male
Originally by: KilROCK
roflmao
rdaloam bak at u buddy cowboy
Dubble post 
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My Movie: Insane World |
Mr Male
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Posted - 2006.05.05 03:29:00 -
[9]
I got back from vet, my dog will feel better soon.  Maybeh he could train to be pirate doogie and we would pirate together and when people saw us enter system they would go 'oh uh angry bears be afraid' |
Xoria Krint
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Posted - 2006.05.05 03:31:00 -
[10]
Edited by: Xoria Krint on 05/05/2006 03:32:30
Originally by: Mr Male
I got back from vet, my dog will feel better soon. Maybeh he could train to be pirate doogie and we would pirate together and when people saw us enter system they would go 'oh uh angry bears be afraid'
ehm.. ok. brother, I love you
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My Movie: Insane World |
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Tityana
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Posted - 2006.05.05 03:31:00 -
[11]
Te He He
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Cremter Ragnarok
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Posted - 2006.05.05 06:34:00 -
[12]
Edited by: Cremter Ragnarok on 05/05/2006 06:35:46
ok. first:
"I had only heavy missile lvl 1 becz I was training to become an ew pilot and join an alliance probably bob
spelling and punctuation are your friends
second, a raven with heavy missiles?? that couldnt take on a friggin caracal??
im in a moa if it werent for the caracals uber range and more midlots than the moa which is the tanker then i'd attack it. if i had that omen im training for soon i'd attack it.
third, use a caracal of your own until you can use cruise missiles. if youve only trained for the ship and not the weapons, dont use the ship. that simple. and have support skills, those help a lot.
and also, dont abuse the poor raven with lasers OR guns in general.. that poor ship.. it needs a nice, loving owner.
if you dont watn to do this because it takes to much time blahblahblah then...
as Blind Man said
"go back to wow/cs/wc3/etc child"
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uhh.. what does this button do? |
Morathei
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Posted - 2006.05.05 06:46:00 -
[13]
omg it hurts.
thanks for the laugh.
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Mr Jay
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Posted - 2006.05.05 07:21:00 -
[14]
Originally by: Blind Man
go back to wow/cs/wc3/etc child
Get a sense of humour 
Absolute Evil pwned my sig =( |
MrFu
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Posted - 2006.05.05 07:25:00 -
[15]
I need a sig |
J'Jenksie
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Posted - 2006.05.05 07:34:00 -
[16]
Well, woke up afta a **** up last nite, to find this , not had a laugh like that in ages.
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Bl4zer
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Posted - 2006.05.05 07:50:00 -
[17]
Originally by: Cremter Ragnarok
Some very useful advice
Which I am sure that the OP knows.
Save the Ubar asteroids
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terje
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Posted - 2006.05.05 07:58:00 -
[18]
Originally by: Cremter Ragnarok
Edited by: Cremter Ragnarok on 05/05/2006 06:35:46
ok. first:
"I had only heavy missile lvl 1 becz I was training to become an ew pilot and join an alliance probably bob
spelling and punctuation are your friends
second, a raven with heavy missiles?? that couldnt take on a friggin caracal??
im in a moa if it werent for the caracals uber range and more midlots than the moa which is the tanker then i'd attack it. if i had that omen im training for soon i'd attack it.
third, use a caracal of your own until you can use cruise missiles. if youve only trained for the ship and not the weapons, dont use the ship. that simple. and have support skills, those help a lot.
and also, dont abuse the poor raven with lasers OR guns in general.. that poor ship.. it needs a nice, loving owner.
if you dont watn to do this because it takes to much time blahblahblah then...
as Blind Man said
"go back to wow/cs/wc3/etc child"
its a joke dummy
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Xeaon
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Posted - 2006.05.05 08:11:00 -
[19]
Best yarr story ever.
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Eximius Josari
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Posted - 2006.05.05 09:29:00 -
[20]
YarrHarr 
~Shadowlord
Don't miss your chance to buy Sobe |
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Vamp 1
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Posted - 2006.05.05 10:01:00 -
[21]
These t1 merlins are nasty.
You need teamwork to take one down
A merlin took down a freighter or was that an ibis - can't remember , too early in the morning.
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Mruah Ktah
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Posted - 2006.05.05 10:03:00 -
[22]
one of the best pirating stories
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Dahak2150
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Posted - 2006.05.05 10:52:00 -
[23]
I give it a 5 out of 5!
Sig removed, please keep it below 24000 bytes, email [email protected] if you have any questions - Xorus |
Irashi
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Posted - 2006.05.05 12:34:00 -
[24]
Edited by: Irashi on 05/05/2006 12:38:30
Originally by: terje
its a joke dummy
That's kind of obvious since the guy's 4 days old
Still got a laugh though
__________________________________________________
:D Many thanks for the frequent sig comments |
Jonathan Davis
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Posted - 2006.05.05 12:38:00 -
[25]
That has made work so much more bearable... thankyou!!!
__________________________________________________
Arrrrrr |
maGz
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Posted - 2006.05.05 13:06:00 -
[26]
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Neon Genesis
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Posted - 2006.05.05 13:20:00 -
[27]
Yeah, when people make me coco it makes me want to go out and kill things too.
I feel your pain.
PS good goin on the free slot! I recommend two for extra versatility!
There, i just contributed nothing to your thread |
Krulla
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Posted - 2006.05.05 13:26:00 -
[28]
Originally by: maGz
--------------------------------
Joria Klex > it's sad really cuz i know for a fact i would utterly destroy u all in RL combat |
JohnnyT
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Posted - 2006.05.05 15:37:00 -
[32]
Edited by: JohnnyT on 05/05/2006 15:38:09
This a damn funny joke... if it was real would be even funnier :D Made me laugh for a while, best post I read
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Heikki
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Posted - 2006.05.05 15:59:00 -
[33]
Originally by: Zarithas
Ok. The fact that some people do not understand that this is a joke makes me cringe. It's actually a pretty good joke post, but he makes it too obvious that he's joking.
I always think that this has to have kind of relation with the quality of some elected leaders our globe has...
-Lasse
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Havelcek
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Posted - 2006.05.05 16:56:00 -
[34]
I don't know what's funnier, the OP, or the people who took it seriously.
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xeom
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Posted - 2006.05.05 17:21:00 -
[35]
Good idea with the miner.Tricking people into thinking you're a miner is a great idea dunno why i didnt think of it.
www.eve-files.com/media/signatures/xeomjugga.jpg[/IMG]
CCP where are our t2 shield power relays?
Please resize image to a maximum of 400 x 120, not exceeding 24000 kbs, ty - Cortes |
Cummilla
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Posted - 2006.05.05 17:41:00 -
[36]
I dunno, the wcs part was pretty realistic
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sgt spike
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Posted - 2006.05.05 18:27:00 -
[37]
gonna get me one o those mining barge thingies wit da medium drones and go hunt me some ravens :)
can you put a price on peace?
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Kaeten
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Posted - 2006.05.05 18:46:00 -
[38]
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Zandramus
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Posted - 2006.05.05 19:16:00 -
[39]
Originally by: sgt spike
gonna get me one o those mining barge thingies wit da medium drones and go hunt me some ravens :)
right on
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Cpt Placeholder
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Posted - 2006.05.05 19:37:00 -
[40]
yeah its like too good to be true
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vile56
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Posted - 2006.05.05 21:54:00 -
[41]
made my day
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Ninlaar
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Posted - 2006.05.05 22:21:00 -
[42]
Originally by: Blind Man
go back to wow/cs/wc3/etc child
Please. World of Warcraft is far superior to this game in so many ways other then PvP it would take me a lifetime to count them all. Get off your high horse tough guy.
That being said I do enjoy this game and plan on playing it for awhile.
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Trepkos
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Posted - 2006.05.05 22:37:00 -
[43]
Edited by: Trepkos on 05/05/2006 22:39:31
Originally by: Ninlaar
Originally by: Blind Man
go back to wow/cs/wc3/etc child
Please. World of Warcraft is far superior to this game in so many ways other then PvP it would take me a lifetime to count them all. Get off your high horse tough guy.
That being said I do enjoy this game and plan on playing it for awhile.
Is this another joke post? 
Oh, dont get me wrong. I do enjoy no-risk PVP with a storyline that a small elementary student could sharply follow.
Nothing beats the ability to dance, chop wood and gather gold with the intense PVP experience that world of warcraft provides, the fact that when you die, you must travel back in spirit to regather your accessories and try again.
The possibilities are endless!
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Angel Deep Corporation
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Jennifae
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Posted - 2006.05.06 00:26:00 -
[44]
WoW pvp is pathetic excuse for pvp. How can a system where losses are meaningless represent anything that can pass for decent pvp?
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Maximus Krysdam
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Posted - 2006.05.06 01:01:00 -
[45]
Cheers mate! that was funny
"...It is that in war the victorious strategist
only seeks battle after the victory has been won,whereas he who is destined to defeat first fights and afterwards looks for victory..." |
Ben Hump
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Posted - 2006.05.06 12:49:00 -
[46]
hmm that sounds like killrocks macherial setup but he only has a structure repper not a shield booster
May contain traces of irony
"Yes Mister Tristan"
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wierchas noobhunter
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Posted - 2006.05.06 13:04:00 -
[47]
Originally by: Mr Male
I opened fire on his vessel, quickly returned fire but my missiles had already brought his shield down doing 11.4 dmg each, I had only heavy missile lvl 1 becz I was training to become an ew pilot and join an alliance probably bob.
this was best part
nice mode ON/off
Naughty - don't discuss moderation on the forums! - Cathath |
Niques Leutre
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Posted - 2006.05.06 15:53:00 -
[48]
Edited by: Niques Leutre on 06/05/2006 16:03:51
I wonder how the hell he managed to buy a bloody Raven considering he's so extremely new to the game (you'd have to be to use that setup on a Raven...) I smells e-bay!
P.S. Hull tank next time. Only the truly leet strategists use hull. Defeating someone by crushing them with your credit card and a rack of warp stabs isn't nearly as impressive as hull tanking.
___________________________________
When Newbies Attack! |
Malthros Zenobia
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Posted - 2006.05.06 16:30:00 -
[49]
Even as a joke thread, this makes me hate you.
I want those last 10 minutes of my live back...
And I want it to stop taking 9 1/2 minutes for a forum page to load.
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Alezi
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Posted - 2006.05.06 16:30:00 -
[50]
Edited by: Alezi on 06/05/2006 16:31:36
Originally by: Mr Male
I warped out thanks for 4 warp core stabs and I called him a snot head in the local chat
Real or not...
YOU decide
Join channel FIGHTME to organise hot 1 on 1 PVP action |
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B0rn2KiLL
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Posted - 2006.05.06 16:35:00 -
[51]
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new sig, Hijack it and ill eat u.
*Imaran hands B0rn2KiLL a fork - Come get some!11
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Shadrin
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Posted - 2006.05.06 16:58:00 -
[52]
lmao, I love this post. Angry bear, hahaha
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Shadrin
Imago Mundi
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Constantine Arcanum
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Posted - 2006.05.06 23:31:00 -
[53]
Originally by: Ninlaar
Originally by: Blind Man
go back to wow/cs/wc3/etc child
Please. World of Warcraft is far superior to this game in so many ways other then PvP it would take me a lifetime to count them all. Get off your high horse tough guy.
That being said I do enjoy this game and plan on playing it for awhile.
Yeah right. Like I want to play a boring game with lots of racist leetspeak 10-year-olds, and a crappy customer support service.
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arkarsk
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Posted - 2006.05.06 23:43:00 -
[54]
Hahaha, I dont know whats funnier, the fact that people believe that this story is true and that person isnt an alt, or the story itself.
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fmercury
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Posted - 2006.05.07 06:26:00 -
[55]
Originally by: Mr Male
Edited by: Mr Male on 05/05/2006 03:22:35
If malka is out there to read this, I like you and if you give me hints to kill stuff like you do please?
Sounds like you've already got her setups down, you've been taught well 
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Stern Maxwell
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Posted - 2006.05.07 08:44:00 -
[56]
Edited by: Stern Maxwell on 07/05/2006 08:44:58
rofl, a raven beat by a merlin miner! That was a great read.
_________________________
Dont pop my ship...
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Turiel Demon
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Posted - 2006.05.07 09:50:00 -
[57]
Originally by: fmercury
Originally by: Mr Male
Edited by: Mr Male on 05/05/2006 03:22:35
If malka is out there to read this, I like you and if you give me hints to kill stuff like you do please?
Sounds like you've already got her setups down, you've been taught well
Hehehe, I think ou need to fit a few civilian autocannon to make it into a TRUE Malka fitting
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nothing to see here, move along nicely now, is that a pink dread out there. aaww you just missed it -eris
It's not an Eidolon with 5 Basic Miner's on it, that's for certain.(FF04) ~kieron
No love for me? :'( - Wrangler
If you can't beat Eris, join her, hmmm that sounded so much better in my head - Cortes
Cuddles Eeyore. He's soooo cute and doesn't play EVE. perfect -eris
Eve-online Forum mods arn't Pokemon, you don't need to collect them all - Ductoris
Here's my autograph - now do I get some groupie lub? Jacques'
Don't be greedy :P -Capsicum |
Terris Clavain
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Posted - 2006.05.07 10:53:00 -
[58]
Very funny 
Made me spill my tea!
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HippoKing
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Posted - 2006.05.07 10:55:00 -
[59]
i would be laughing very hard if i hadn't fought people with worse setups and knowledge.
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Copine Callmeknau
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Posted - 2006.05.07 13:09:00 -
[60]
Man, no wonder you lost. Drop both of your launchers and the co-pro for a small armour rep. You'll handle those damn merlins with no problem that way
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With five million sheep in this army
I seem to be the only one fit to command
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Na'Thuul
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Posted - 2006.05.07 15:09:00 -
[61]
Small armor reps are damned expensive though. Maybe if you run both Civilian Shield Booster and Civilian Armor Repper you'd get a kickass tank.
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Lumel
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Posted - 2006.05.07 18:07:00 -
[62]
Good show. I always enjoy a stream of thought story with a good 55% reality and 45% wtf thrown in for seasoning. 
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Knowledge won't help us understand |
Mr Male
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Posted - 2006.05.07 21:22:00 -
[63]
Hihihihihi -N- THKS for all great replies.
Soz trolls ruin the day makes me sad but I ignore them easily. Some people think WCS's are the bad cuz people use them often, cuz they r great. This is not the true for I enjoy my use of WCS's for the solo pirate. I dont like to die cuz stabds r good.
I shuld think cuz Im paying customer. Please. I doo w/e I want. I think I train for geddon for 8 low slots thats lots wcs adn I pvp effeciently like really. too bad it cant use the missiles which might mean I have to put thought and intelligience itn o my setups and pvp actionz but I like missiles. |
Jarra
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Posted - 2006.05.08 02:28:00 -
[64]
Best thread ive read in a long time.....:)
So thats why the geddon has so many low slots :)
keep up your err....well enjoy eve :)
--
Diplomacy is like saying "nice doggy" until u can find a bigger rock:)
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Cremter Ragnarok
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Posted - 2006.05.08 05:44:00 -
[65]
Originally by: Havelcek
I don't know what's funnier, the OP, or the people who took it seriously.
not all of us check every character that posts, ya know. ive seen some horrible setups tbh.
ferox:
1x dual light beam laser
1x rocket launcher
1x dual 150mm railgun
1x focused medium pulse laser
1x light ion blaster
1x heavy missile launcher
1x standard launcher
after seeing that on my ship scanner, any bad setup is believeable to me
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uhh.. what does this button do? |
Hanan Grahif
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Posted - 2006.05.08 07:31:00 -
[66]
that is probably the best post ive seen on these forums, cheered me up on a rainy mon morning
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