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Darius Shakor	Posted - 2006.05.20 11:18:00 - [1] Edited by: Darius Shakor on 20/05/2006 11:27:53 So here I am enjoying my saturday, now turning to the early afternoon and ping-pong the doorbell rings. "WTF could that be?" I ask myself as I remove myself from the lounge chair and the roots that I have slowly taken. I open the door and it is our resident Jehovas witness that drops by once a month. Usually my Mum stands and listens to them as they talk about the topic of the month and drop off the magazines they print. Except she has just gone to the shops leaving me alone. What does this have to do with the Guristas? Well, here I am sitting in my Guristas t-shirt, a pair of shorts and my hair still looking like it was attached to my bed pillow and three days worth of stubble. Poor guy must have thought squatters had moved in and the dight of that evil bunny on the Guristas t-shirt didn't do much for him either. He didn't stop long and made a quick retreat up the driveway. Thats right b####, you better run. The Guristas are coming for ya'. (Disclaimer: I have nothing against Jehovas witnesses. But I might wear this t-shirt more often.) (Edited because I missed the 'r' in shirt in the link. You figure it out.) ------ Shakor Clan Information Portal Every man has a devil. You can never rest until you find it.
High Sierra	Posted - 2006.05.20 11:25:00 - [2] The only thing you should say when the Jehovah's Witnesses turn up and ask you 'Have you ever wondered where god is in your life?' Reply: 'No, he's in the lounge. Want to come in and meet him?' They will never, ever come back guaranteed.
Roshan longshot	Posted - 2006.05.20 12:39:00 - [3] I was cleaning my firearms...yeah I said firearms...I went out shooting friday afternoon, there was some beer invovled and some real big guns... Saturday morning and the hangover was light, kids went to see a movie, wife went with them...I had the house to myself...Gun cleaning time... I was about half way through cleaning the guns, my t-shirt has oil stains on it now...my hair is about as long as my avitars...and I have a two month beard. They came...knocking on my door...I got up from the work table and trodded through the house not even thinking what was in my hand.. I got to the door and remember I have a .357 colt magnum in my hand. So I hid it behind the half closed door as these two witnesses begin their speach... "Do you beleave in God?" "Why sure I do, I beleave in alot of Gods." "Huh?" says one witness. "I worship all the gods on a regular bassis." "What?" says the other witness. "Like today is Norse God day." "Who?" says the first witness. "Norse gods...You know Odin and his bunch?" "Ahhhhh" Says the second witness. "Yeah today is Thorsday." "WTF" Says the first withness "Who the hell is Thor" "Why the God of thunder...And I am about to pay homage to him right now." I hold up my colt magnum "And you better getthehellonoutahere!" Well the both scattered like cats with their tails on fire. And I went about my day.....Then the sheriff came... I sure do miss my guns...But I am getting real good with the Bow and arrow now...... Free-form Professions, ensure no limetations on professions. Be a trader, fighter, industialist, researcher, hunter *pirate* or mixture of them all. [i]As read from the original box. We are not ebil forum police, for one thing I don't have a hat :( - Cortes
Kalahari Wayrest	Posted - 2006.05.20 14:01:00 - [4] rofl, nice one __________________________ Indulge Me
HippoKing	Posted - 2006.05.20 15:04:00 - [5] not surprised the sheriff came
Viktor Fyretracker	Posted - 2006.05.20 15:10:00 - [6] ive allways wanted to come to the door when they arrive holding a shotgun and a can of cheap domestic beer(ie a Budweiser) and see if they go running.
FooB2	Posted - 2006.05.20 15:53:00 - [7] eh what the hell? ive played since 2004 and it never occured to me that EVE had a store. i wondered where the hell you ordered e-on from. Pre-Nerfed Tactics - yes, we are just plain nasty boys.
Zezman	Posted - 2006.05.20 15:59:00 - [8] With Eve having over 100,000 subscribers, theres a good chance that a few Jehovah's Witnesses play the game. Especially since Eve doesn't have any of the elements of the Dungeons and Dragons fantasy role playing style of game, this game is probably a magnet for those with a sci-fi bent. In fact, I just did a search and came up with three character names that start with Jehovah, but suprisingly, no corporations named after Him.
RogueWing	Posted - 2006.05.20 16:15:00 - [9] Edited by: RogueWing on 20/05/2006 16:16:16 I'm one of Jehovah's Witnesses. :) And I know of a few more personally that also are.
mamolian	Posted - 2006.05.20 16:21:00 - [10] I swear.. When I move.. I'm never going to live in a housing estate ever again.. Anytime that doorbell rings its always some religious nut trying to get me to convert to what ever ***pot religion their toting... So far ive run off mormons, christians, Jehovas witnesses, Islamics.. I've taken a particular dislike to morons tbh.. recruiting late teen kids and sending them out on missions full with their heads full of **e and lies.. -------------------------------
Coconut Joe	Posted - 2006.05.20 16:21:00 - [11] Edited by: Coconut Joe on 20/05/2006 16:21:27 Originally by: RogueWing Edited by: RogueWing on 20/05/2006 16:16:16 I'm one of Jehovah's Witnesses. :) And I know of a few more personally that also are. Please stop harrasing my family :(
Zezman	Posted - 2006.05.20 16:22:00 - [12] If I was a mod, I'd lock this thread before it got ugly.
Flyyn	Posted - 2006.05.20 16:32:00 - [13] To late its ugly.... Dont mind me I am just trying to catch up to DS and HK on the boards....
Kalahari Wayrest	Posted - 2006.05.20 16:56:00 - [14] but it started off so well __________________________ Indulge Me
Verone	Posted - 2006.05.20 17:43:00 - [15] Originally by: High Sierra 'Want to come in?' You should NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER say this to a Jehovah's Winess... that's ASKING for trouble. VETO RECRUITMENT
Adrian Kerensky	Posted - 2006.05.20 17:50:00 - [16] Originally by: Coconut Joe Edited by: Coconut Joe on 20/05/2006 16:21:27 Originally by: RogueWing Edited by: RogueWing on 20/05/2006 16:16:16 I'm one of Jehovah's Witnesses. :) And I know of a few more personally that also are. Please stop harrasing my family :( hahahahahahaahahhahaha /signed
RogueWing	Posted - 2006.05.20 18:09:00 - [17] Originally by: Coconut Joe Edited by: Coconut Joe on 20/05/2006 16:21:27 Originally by: RogueWing Edited by: RogueWing on 20/05/2006 16:16:16 I'm one of Jehovah's Witnesses. :) And I know of a few more personally that also are. Please stop harrasing my family :( Sure. Send me their names and addy's so I can add it to my "Call List".....er...."Do Not Call List" and I'll be happy to see that it gets done. :)
HippoKing	Posted - 2006.05.20 18:38:00 - [18] Originally by: Verone Originally by: High Sierra 'Want to come in?' You should NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER say this to a Jehovah's Winess... that's ASKING for trouble. not quite true, if you follow it with "we're sacrificing a goat in the back garden", you are still fine
Nikolai Nuvolari	Posted - 2006.05.20 18:54:00 - [19] Originally by: HippoKing Originally by: Verone Originally by: High Sierra 'Want to come in?' You should NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER say this to a Jehovah's Winess... that's ASKING for trouble. not quite true, if you follow it with "we're sacrificing a goat in the back garden", you are still fine I always figured the best way to deal with them is ask "Can god save me, even if I've sinned?" and when they say yes, you ask "What about murder?" and if they say yes, ask "What about double murder?"...I think you get the idea... -------- Tom Thumb > for a nut case you rawk [04:21:15] Mebrithiel Ju'wien > Nik's bio 4tw btw [07:38:53] Graelyn > Nikolai for Dev 108!
Adrian Kerensky	Posted - 2006.05.20 18:56:00 - [20] I had some people come to my door the other day saying they were from the 'Church of Saint Jesus and would I like to join? I replied with 'No I'm part of a proper religion' and closed the door after saying 'Good day' in the most polite voice I could muster at the time.
Gothikia	Posted - 2006.05.20 19:47:00 - [21] Originally by: RogueWing Edited by: RogueWing on 20/05/2006 16:16:16 I'm one of Jehovah's Witnesses. :) And I know of a few more personally that also are. /me deploys the fleet around the station sorted Gothikia :)
Leilani Solaris	Posted - 2006.05.20 20:17:00 - [22] I had a call from some Jehova's Witnesses a while ago, i asnwered the door with an upside down pentogram top on with Satan etc writen all over it. They tried to talk to me, i just told them i was an Satanist and that i didn't like them. They left soon after..
Drizit	Posted - 2006.05.20 20:23:00 - [23] Edited by: Drizit on 20/05/2006 20:23:26 When they ask me if I believe in god, I usually reply that I believe in the one true god. As I do so, I hold up my hand with index and little finger pointing in the sign of the devil and say "Him". Normally they scatter pretty quick. They don't visit me very often for some strange reason. --
Zezman	Posted - 2006.05.20 20:52:00 - [24] What exactly, is so bad about them?
Raptornas	Posted - 2006.05.20 20:53:00 - [25] Ah people trying to peddle there religion to you. Scientology is the best, Just ask them hows Xenu today, smile and walk off. __
Tarquin Tarquinius	Posted - 2006.05.20 20:55:00 - [26] Jehovah's witnesses annoy me, but the Mormons are worse. They're all polite and well dressed. Being rude to them makes me feel bad. Last time the Mormons came, they had a stray puppy they found, and asked me if it was mine. How can I slam the door on such politness. On a related note: Big Love is an awsome show. ------------------------ The Almighty says this must be a fashionable fight. It's drawn the finest people. - an Amarr Mercenary
Zezman	Posted - 2006.05.20 21:10:00 - [27] I'm gonna take a wild guess here, and say you probably have no idea why they keep coming back. Has anyone ever asked them that?
wierchas noobhunter	Posted - 2006.05.20 21:12:00 - [28] well guys dont be so not ethic its just religion.... join soar angelic! or at least bump it
RogueWing	Posted - 2006.05.20 21:23:00 - [29] Most of us JW's have a sense of humor about our religion and the way other people view us. All we ask is that people give us the same respect that we try to show to others. Speaking of sense of humor, here's a nice JW joke. How many JW's does it take to change a light bulb? We don't know...we can't get them to put their Bibles down long enough to change it.
Zezman	Posted - 2006.05.20 21:25:00 - [30] Nah, i got a better one: How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to change a lightbulb? Two, they talk to the lightbulb until it converts itself.
Zezman	Posted - 2006.05.20 22:22:00 - [31] Edited by: Zezman on 20/05/2006 22:23:18 I have another question for everyone reading this topic... How much do you value your freedoms and rights of privacy? Did you know that Jehovah's Witnesses have contributed more to the rights of the Constitution of the United States and other countries than any other religious or secular group? By far the Supreme Court decisions handed down in favor of the Witnesses in the US have helped build up the constitutional rights of privacy and anonymity as well as to the first ammendment rights of freedom of speech, press and religion. If you don't believe me, do a search online. You have more to thank the JW's for than you may realize. Electronic Privacy Information Center article A reprint of an article originally posted in USA TODAY The Historical Development of the Freedom of Speech
Scorpyn	Posted - 2006.05.20 23:24:00 - [32] Edited by: Scorpyn on 20/05/2006 23:24:42 As far as I know, my grandpa used to invite them in for a chat. I don't think they talked about religion though... As long as they leave when you tell them you're not interested I don't see a problem, but some have apparently tried preventing ppl from closing the door by putting a foot inbetween etc which is probably why they have such a nasty reputation (although I don't think they do that anymore in my area). Even though I don't share their religion, I do admire their determination to try to "awaken" people. Unfortunately I think they are on the completely wrong track though, which makes me somewhat sad. After all, they are still human, along with the telemarketing guys and most politicians. ____________________ 45545555555555555555
RogueWing	Posted - 2006.05.20 23:30:00 - [33] Originally by: Zezman Edited by: Zezman on 20/05/2006 22:23:18 By far the Supreme Court decisions handed down in favor of the Witnesses in the US have helped build up the constitutional rights of privacy and anonymity as well as to the first ammendment rights of freedom of speech, press and religion. If you don't believe me, do a search online. You have more to thank the JW's for than you may realize. Electronic Privacy Information Center article A reprint of an article originally posted in USA TODAY The Historical Development of the Freedom of Speech Unfortunately, these kind of court cases are not only in the distant past.....the Supreme Court has heard cases as recently as 2002. http://www.jw-media.org/region/americas/usa/english/releases/religious_freedom/usa_e020617.htm (BTW, I'm not interested in causing any kind of flame war. While I don't mind discussing my religion, these kind of things can get out of hand very quickly in a public forum. If you wish to respond here, please keep it respectful so that the Mods don't see fit to close the thread.)
Istvaan Shogaatsu	Posted - 2006.05.20 23:52:00 - [34] This one time two Jehovah's Witnesses came to my house so I strapped them to white hot buzzsaws covered in white hot scorpions and shot them into the sun.
RogueWing	Posted - 2006.05.21 00:16:00 - [35] Originally by: Istvaan Shogaatsu This one time two Jehovah's Witnesses came to my house so I strapped them to white hot buzzsaws covered in white hot scorpions and shot them into the sun. That was me and my buddy. Thank goodness for our personal transporters that we used to get back. (Oops, wrong universe.)
gizli	Posted - 2006.05.21 01:13:00 - [36] when they come, having a dog is really good. If they arent scared of the dog call him satan while they're talking.
dailyhazard	Posted - 2006.05.21 01:13:00 - [37] best one ive heard is "sorry im busy gota take my wife to the abortion clinic" But she's hot, SHE MAY BE THE ONLY WOMAN I EVER HAVE - DAILY
Theseuss	Posted - 2006.05.21 01:32:00 - [38] Edited by: Theseuss on 21/05/2006 01:32:52 I've got a good way to get rid of any people trying to get in that I don't want in my house. I tell them "Please, come on in, just watch your step here, one of our pet snakes got out of his terrarium a while ago, we're not sure where he is at the moment." No, we don't have snakes actually, just tiny lizards, but nobody has ever dared to come in after hearing the warning. You could also go with talking about spiders or scorpions etc, most people won't risk it.
Negative Nancy	Posted - 2006.05.21 02:52:00 - [39] One time I was in my driveway launching potatoes out of my PVC potato cannon, and a whole van of the JWs showed up. They gave me the standard "have you found god yet" type line and I told them that I was already part of another religion, then proceeded to show them how the potato cannon works, they loved it.
Nights Dawn	Posted - 2006.05.21 03:09:00 - [40] Originally by: Negative Nancy One time I was in my driveway launching potatoes out of my PVC potato cannon, and a whole van of the JWs showed up. They gave me the standard "have you found god yet" type line and I told them that I was already part of another religion, then proceeded to show them how the potato cannon works, they loved it. Should have aimed it at the sky and while giggling said "Hey look!! I'm shooting your god!"
Lorth	Posted - 2006.05.21 03:09:00 - [41] Ok this one is actually true. It was a friday night, and I was bar hopping with a few friends. When we saw in the car next to our cab, an old friend we had all went to school with. So we pull over, and hope in his car, get a bunch of booze and head over to my place. Now its important to describe this guy. He's a biker, or at least looks like one. Kinnda gruby, ripped jeans, long hair, and a bunch of ink all over, and one huge tribal tatto on his back. Anyways, we drink, and have a great time for the next 5 hours untill everyone goes home, save for my friend who wasn't from town. I lent him my couch. Around 8am, I get a knock on my door. Mind you I had stopped drinking about 3 hours before, and I'm still drunk. I crawl out of bed, looking like crap on a stick, and go to find jehovas witnesses there. Now the appartment smells like a rye soaked ciggerte. Booze everywhere. And in the middle of it all, is my buddy passed out face down on the couch in full view of the door. They start in on thier speach, while I'm leaning against the wall, just to keep my self up. Then I have an idea. I stumble over to my buddy on the couch and start to shake him awake. "Honey, honey, wake up we have company" I turned around, and they we're gone.
Nikolai Nuvolari	Posted - 2006.05.21 03:33:00 - [42] Originally by: Istvaan Shogaatsu This one time two Jehovah's Witnesses came to my house so I strapped them to white hot buzzsaws covered in white hot scorpions and shot them into the sun. How do you get scorpions to be white-hot, that sounds incredibly useless and yet captivating? Originally by: Theseuss I've got a good way to get rid of any people trying to get in that I don't want in my house. I tell them "Please, come on in, just watch your step here, one of our pet snakes got out of his terrarium a while ago, we're not sure where he is at the moment." No, we don't have snakes actually, just tiny lizards, but nobody has ever dared to come in after hearing the warning. You could also go with talking about spiders or scorpions etc, most people won't risk it. Or if you DO have a pet snake, invite them in, take it out of the cage, and aggressively "offer" to let them hold it while assuring them that you have the antidote to its venom, which is never fatal as long as the antidote is administered within five minutes. I really need to try that some time, see if they can tell a python from a viper... Originally by: Lorth They start in on thier speach, while I'm leaning against the wall, just to keep my self up. Then I have an idea. I stumble over to my buddy on the couch and start to shake him awake. "Honey, honey, wake up we have company" You, sir, are a genius. That's like the MacGyver of scaring people away. -------- Tom Thumb > for a nut case you rawk [04:21:15] Mebrithiel Ju'wien > Nik's bio 4tw btw [07:38:53] Graelyn > Nikolai for Dev 108!
Luigi Thirty	Posted - 2006.05.21 04:30:00 - [43] Why would you evangelize for a religion that says only 100,000 or so will go to heaven...?
Nikolai Nuvolari	Posted - 2006.05.21 04:47:00 - [44] I had yet another genius idea. It's the simplest one yet. Just answer the door stark naked. It would throw just about anybody for a loop, but a Jehovah's Witness (or anybody else trying to convert you)? They'd just turn around and leave, I mean how can they try to talk about something as serious as saving your immortal soul while you're standing there with your junk hanging out, preferably giving it a good scratch for maximum effect? -------- Tom Thumb > for a nut case you rawk [04:21:15] Mebrithiel Ju'wien > Nik's bio 4tw btw [07:38:53] Graelyn > Nikolai for Dev 108!
Aeaus	Posted - 2006.05.21 05:00:00 - [45] Originally by: Lorth Ok this one is actually true. It was a friday night, and I was bar hopping with a few friends. When we saw in the car next to our cab, an old friend we had all went to school with. So we pull over, and hope in his car, get a bunch of booze and head over to my place. Now its important to describe this guy. He's a biker, or at least looks like one. Kinnda gruby, ripped jeans, long hair, and a bunch of ink all over, and one huge tribal tatto on his back. Anyways, we drink, and have a great time for the next 5 hours untill everyone goes home, save for my friend who wasn't from town. I lent him my couch. Around 8am, I get a knock on my door. Mind you I had stopped drinking about 3 hours before, and I'm still drunk. I crawl out of bed, looking like crap on a stick, and go to find jehovas witnesses there. Now the appartment smells like a rye soaked ciggerte. Booze everywhere. And in the middle of it all, is my buddy passed out face down on the couch in full view of the door. They start in on thier speach, while I'm leaning against the wall, just to keep my self up. Then I have an idea. I stumble over to my buddy on the couch and start to shake him awake. "Honey, honey, wake up we have company" I turned around, and they we're gone. Best one here in my opinion. My Guides (Recomended Reading)
Calisto Cody	Posted - 2006.05.21 05:57:00 - [46] Originally by: Nikolai Nuvolari I had yet another genius idea. It's the simplest one yet. Just answer the door stark naked. bet thats your answer for everything The Black Swan Society Berneh is not appropriate for the forums -
Zezman	Posted - 2006.05.21 06:41:00 - [47] Yea, the Pizza guy has the emotional scars to prove it
Nikolai Nuvolari	Posted - 2006.05.21 07:28:00 - [48] Originally by: Calisto Cody Originally by: Nikolai Nuvolari I had yet another genius idea. It's the simplest one yet. Just answer the door stark naked. bet thats your answer for everything It's a good general solution to most problems. Even if it doesn't solve the problem, you'll most likely be a slightly happier person anyway. Originally by: Zezman Yea, the Pizza guy has the emotional scars to prove it I ordered pizza tonight, and was briefly considering it, but I also figured I might not get my pizza. -------- Tom Thumb > for a nut case you rawk [04:21:15] Mebrithiel Ju'wien > Nik's bio 4tw btw [07:38:53] Graelyn > Nikolai for Dev 108!
Dak Hakin	Posted - 2006.05.21 07:59:00 - [49] My landlady is Jehovahs Witness. Never had any trouble with her trying to recruit me or anything. I used to live in a duplex and some mormon kids moved in next door (yes, Big Love is an awesome show). Every now and then you would hear some rock music, but mostly they were quiet and they were really just super nice kids. It was a sad day for us when they moved out and a pot dealing redneck moved in. _______________________________________________ I am the devil, and I'm here to do the devils work.
Kurren	Posted - 2006.05.21 08:10:00 - [50] Originally by: Raptornas Ah people trying to peddle there religion to you. Scientology is the best, Just ask them hows Xenu today, smile and walk off. That is the funniest damn thing I've read! --- --- --- --- SobaKai.com
Kuolematon	Posted - 2006.05.21 08:13:00 - [51] Once JW's ringed my bell. There was 2 women and I was kinda busy but after they asked their ritual questions about beliving in fairy tales and stuff, I preached them for a good 15 minutes about current situation in world and europe. They left without even offering me their fantastic magazine (I was out of toilet paper ). That was like 9 months ago. Why haven't they revisited me? Unnerf Amarr! Proud member of Caldari Provisions
Capsicum	Posted - 2006.05.21 13:49:00 - [52] We don't allow the discussion of Politics and religion on these forums. click forum rules \| [email protected] \| Our new Website!

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