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Riot Girl
You'll Cowards Don't Even Smoke Crack
3459
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Posted - 2014.08.09 14:43:00 -
[31] - Quote
No honestly, I have a shitload of mental problems but I have better self esteem than just about anyone. Oh god. |
Malcolm Shinhwa
Northstar Cabal Tactical Narcotics Team
2776
|
Posted - 2014.08.09 17:15:00 -
[32] - Quote
This is a feel good thread about feeling bad. I support this. If we're not supposed to shoot pods in hisec, why are they filled with meat? |
James Amril-Kesh
4S Corporation Goonswarm Federation
10976
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Posted - 2014.08.09 20:42:00 -
[33] - Quote
Riot Girl wrote:No honestly, I have a shitload of mental problems but I have better self esteem than just about anyone. That's great for you. How is that relevant, though? No, this isn't it at all. Make it more... psssshhhh. |
Riot Girl
You'll Cowards Don't Even Smoke Crack
3463
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Posted - 2014.08.09 21:05:00 -
[34] - Quote
Because basically just become antisocial. It just makes life a lot easier. Oh god. |
Ulaa Sydney
Brave Newbies Inc. Brave Collective
0
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Posted - 2014.08.10 00:02:00 -
[35] - Quote
I literally logged to the forums for the first time in years to say. Thank you Coffee and Brave. This is awesome. |
Rowells
Unknown Soldiers Fidelas Constans
1159
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Posted - 2014.08.10 00:09:00 -
[36] - Quote
Brea Lafail wrote:Rowells wrote:And advice to the logibros: do not break lock until they are out of harms way. That's actually the opposite of the (very limited) suicide prevention training I got. Pass them off to the professionals and disengage before you become their primary contact, because once that happens, you need to be available 24/7 for months. Yeah the professionals should always be the end person, but my training (army) said to find that person if possible (or find someone else who can) and not let then out of your care until you can hand them off to another person/professional.
If someone contacts you in game showing the intent to do self-harm, do whatever it takes to get someone there. File a petition to a GM, let a corp mate who knows him personally know, call a suicide hotline and tell them what's going on, and if necessary call the police or some authority and let them know, even if they are in a different country. It's better to take too many precautions than to not take enough. |
Herzog Wolfhammer
Sigma Special Tactics Group
5236
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Posted - 2014.08.10 00:13:00 -
[37] - Quote
While I hate everybody, other players I hate the least.
+1 Bring back DEEEEP Space! |
James Amril-Kesh
4S Corporation Goonswarm Federation
10977
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Posted - 2014.08.10 00:23:00 -
[38] - Quote
Riot Girl wrote:Because basically just become antisocial. It just makes life a lot easier. I've had depression all of my life, and while I've never been suicidal or one to self harm, the point at which I would have been closest to that was when I had no friends to speak of because I had become so withdrawn - rarely leaving my room or interacting with anyone. No, this isn't it at all. Make it more... psssshhhh. |
stoicfaux
5251
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Posted - 2014.08.10 00:28:00 -
[39] - Quote
OP reported for.... hang on.... hrmm.... dammit, I'm 99% sure that giving a rat's ass about other people is against the ToS. Give me a minute, I'm still looking...
WASABI: Warp Acceleration System Ancillary Boost Injected(Gäó)
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Marsha Mallow
1410
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Posted - 2014.08.10 00:34:00 -
[40] - Quote
Well said.
FHC has a decent thread for people to talk about mental health issues, and it's good to see reddit create an area where people can do the same. OOPE on these forums is a decent spot for people to chat about personal problems without being trolled to oblivion. The mods are diligent about purging inappropriate remarks and moving threads to spots where they'll get helpful responses, and the residents tend to self moderate to encourage a particular tone.
That said, the second step should always be to advise the person involved to get professional help IRL - and if necessary take steps to ensure they get it if you have to. Basically everything Rowells just said, and Cagali's post is spot on for stating it so clearly. For EvE players I think you could file a petition if you have a serious concern, as they've taken action in the past. Creating a space to chat in is useful, but it won't resolve the underlying issues.
It's worth mentioning that there are so many mental health disorders (and personalities) that not everyone expresses them in ways people will respond to productively. Some people are abusive and 'act out', particularly on forums. The reaction of screaming hateful personal insults or going overboard trolling them is a bit dangerous because you can't judge how they'll react. It's one of those things that is really hard to put the breaks on when it starts - and it's difficult to judge where the line is - but just use a bit of common sense and don't take things too far. I don't care how obnoxious a player is, there's still a person behind the screen and if they are in the middle of a self-destructive mental health spiral, gobbing off at them might tip them over the edge. I doubt anyone wants that on their conscience. DON'T BE RIDICULOUS! |
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Don Pera Saissore
4
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Posted - 2014.08.10 01:14:00 -
[41] - Quote
Marsha Mallow wrote: I doubt anyone wants that on their conscience.
What about Mittani? |
Riot Girl
You'll Cowards Don't Even Smoke Crack
3482
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Posted - 2014.08.10 01:19:00 -
[42] - Quote
James Amril-Kesh wrote:Riot Girl wrote:Because basically just become antisocial. It just makes life a lot easier. I've had depression all of my life, and while I've never been suicidal or one to self harm, the point at which I would have been closest to that was when I had no friends to speak of because I had become so withdrawn - rarely leaving my room or interacting with anyone. Well I've been far deeper than you and let me tell you, it ain't worth it. **** everyone and **** everything. Oh god. |
Derrick Miles
EVENumbers
1034
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Posted - 2014.08.10 01:56:00 -
[43] - Quote
Riot Girl wrote:James Amril-Kesh wrote:Riot Girl wrote:Because basically just become antisocial. It just makes life a lot easier. I've had depression all of my life, and while I've never been suicidal or one to self harm, the point at which I would have been closest to that was when I had no friends to speak of because I had become so withdrawn - rarely leaving my room or interacting with anyone. Well I've been far deeper than you and let me tell you, it ain't worth it. **** everyone and **** everything. It's not a contest, because those that have been the deepest don't ever come back. I've been through very severe depression myself and I know that social contact with supportive people is perhaps the most helpful thing there is for it. When you're searching for a reason to live, there is no better place to find it than in another human being. |
Riot Girl
You'll Cowards Don't Even Smoke Crack
3482
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Posted - 2014.08.10 02:21:00 -
[44] - Quote
Can't say I shared the same experience. I found other people to be a waste of time and you know why?
Yesterday I was arrested and held in police custody, they asked me to speak to a drugs and alcohol advisor. I agreed. We talked and I told him it was a waste of time. He asked me why I thought that and I said, because of thisddd
Do you remember the last person you gave advice to? Do you remember the person before that? Or the person before that or the person before that? He told me he couldn't.
So I said Exactly! It's a waste of time because no one gives a ****. You don't give a ****, you can't even remember the people you're supposed to give meaningful support to. That's why it's a waste of time.
That's depressing. Oh god. |
Sibyyl
Gallente Federation
5801
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Posted - 2014.08.10 02:33:00 -
[45] - Quote
Riot Girl, hugs. The Muppets: P+¦pc++rn (thanks Ria!) "So.. youre saying you cant create content.... because other people are out... creating content?" --United Arab Emirates |
Derrick Miles
EVENumbers
1034
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Posted - 2014.08.10 03:01:00 -
[46] - Quote
Riot Girl wrote:Can't say I shared the same experience. I found other people to be a waste of time and you know why?
Yesterday I was arrested and held in police custody, they asked me to speak to a drugs and alcohol advisor. I agreed. We talked and I told him it was a waste of time. He asked me why I thought that and I said, because of thisddd
Do you remember the last person you gave advice to? Do you remember the person before that? Or the person before that or the person before that? He told me he couldn't.
So I said Exactly! It's a waste of time because no one gives a ****. You don't give a ****, you can't even remember the people you're supposed to give meaningful support to. That's why it's a waste of time.
That's depressing. You're right, that is depressing. But to me, that just illustrates the point that it is important to get help from a professional, and someone you feel you can build trust with. When you go to see someone who has been training for years in treating what ails you, and you know they will remember you week after week, it makes all the difference in the world. |
James Amril-Kesh
4S Corporation Goonswarm Federation
10979
|
Posted - 2014.08.10 03:20:00 -
[47] - Quote
Riot Girl wrote:James Amril-Kesh wrote:Riot Girl wrote:Because basically just become antisocial. It just makes life a lot easier. I've had depression all of my life, and while I've never been suicidal or one to self harm, the point at which I would have been closest to that was when I had no friends to speak of because I had become so withdrawn - rarely leaving my room or interacting with anyone. Well I've been far deeper than you and let me tell you, it ain't worth it. **** everyone and **** everything. If you ever change your mind, here's a thread full of people you can talk to. It may not be much but it's better than nothing, in my opinion. No, this isn't it at all. Make it more... psssshhhh. |
Coffee Rocks
Thrall Nation Brave Collective
259
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Posted - 2014.08.10 03:44:00 -
[48] - Quote
James Amril-Kesh wrote:Riot Girl wrote:James Amril-Kesh wrote:Riot Girl wrote:Because basically just become antisocial. It just makes life a lot easier. I've had depression all of my life, and while I've never been suicidal or one to self harm, the point at which I would have been closest to that was when I had no friends to speak of because I had become so withdrawn - rarely leaving my room or interacting with anyone. Well I've been far deeper than you and let me tell you, it ain't worth it. **** everyone and **** everything. If you ever change your mind, here's a thread full of people you can talk to. It may not be much but it's better than nothing, in my opinion.
+1 - to you both.
Riot Girl, I'm not here to change your mind. Just to say, f***, I've been there. A few times. I'm way better these past few years, and it's only because I have a few close people that anchor me. I don't know if I'd be here without them.
James is right, this thread of white-knighters and cutthroat bas****s - we'd all be here to listen. http://www.thecoffeerocks.com Twitter: @thecoffeerocks |-áSteam: CoffeeRocks-á https://forums.eveonline.com/default.aspx?g=posts&find=unread&t=327221 |
Ashlar Maidstone
Kiith Paktu Curatores Veritatis Alliance
109
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Posted - 2014.08.10 07:26:00 -
[49] - Quote
+10! |
Tara Vorkosigan
Dark Fusion Industries
6
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Posted - 2014.08.11 17:29:00 -
[50] - Quote
This is why I love EVE. You have all your pirates, scammers, and trolls, but then you magnificent bastards show your true colors and help people out when they need it.
*hugs for everyone* |
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Enei Etha
Viziam Amarr Empire
4
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Posted - 2014.08.11 18:01:00 -
[51] - Quote
Tara Vorkosigan wrote:...but then you magnificent bastards show your true colors and help people out when they need it.
I keep coming back for this, I think we all do.
The EVE community is a strange place. In game everyday we treat each other like crap, talk smack, blow up your toys, and generally ruin each others day.
Then there is real life and we'd help each and every one of you if you needed it. There are quite a few reds here, never been happier to see them. |
Yokai Mitsuhide
Native Freshfood Minmatar Republic
5502
|
Posted - 2014.08.11 18:19:00 -
[52] - Quote
Awesome thread. So great to see how amazing this community is. |
Jessica Danikov
Clan Shadow Wolf Fatal Ascension
378
|
Posted - 2014.08.11 20:14:00 -
[53] - Quote
Don Pera Saissore wrote:Marsha Mallow wrote: I doubt anyone wants that on their conscience. What about Mittani?
I was going to say I believe 'The Mittani' would have no comment, but Alex Gianturco would be very apologetic... but he said the exact thing himself, so no need to conjecture- https://forums.eveonline.com/default.aspx?g=posts&t=86980
This is very much a player thing, not a character thing. On the whole, the community is fairly good at drawing that line (with a few exceptions on the fringes, but there's always a few). |
Coffee Rocks
Thrall Nation Brave Collective
276
|
Posted - 2014.08.12 02:36:00 -
[54] - Quote
Tara Vorkosigan wrote:This is why I love EVE. You have all your pirates, scammers, and trolls, but then you magnificent bastards show your true colors and help people out when they need it.
*hugs for everyone*
To be fair, I'd shoot you in Null/Low, but I'm all carebear at heart!!
Now, the rest of General Discussion, on the other hand.... http://www.thecoffeerocks.com Twitter: @thecoffeerocks |-áSteam: CoffeeRocks-á https://forums.eveonline.com/default.aspx?g=posts&find=unread&t=327221 |
Don Purple
The Pursuit of Happiness
376
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Posted - 2014.08.12 03:09:00 -
[55] - Quote
I am the king of snuggles. Always willing to listen. I am just here to snuggle. |
Glathull
Blue Republic RvB - BLUE Republic
579
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Posted - 2014.08.12 04:33:00 -
[56] - Quote
We have a very serious problem in this country with how we understand and deal with the high correlations between addiction, depression, and suicide.
Our typical assumption of a causal chain is a bit like a yoda-ism. Depression leads to abuse, abuse leads to addiction, and addiction leads to suicide.
Part of this causal fallacy is that people get hopped up on whatever they are addicted to . . . drugs, alcohol, sex, whatever, and when they are beyond making a rational decision because of the high they are feeling, they make an irrational choice to end things.
Anecdotally, I don't find this to be true. And I think there is enough data extant to find out if this is true. I think that addiction finds its own reason. There are some genetic components to it and some social. Certainly some depressed people turn to abuse and abuse leads to addiction, but the story just isn't that simple.
The biggest problem with addiction is the way that some addicts are treated by society. No matter where your addiction came from, genetic predisposition or intentional abuse, addiction leads to depression. Once you realize that society says that you have no choice and no control over your life, that no one trusts you to behave responsibly in the presence of whatever it is you are addicted to, that you have a disease with no cure, and that society looks down on you for having it, you will become depressed.
When everyone in your life, everyone who loves you says at the same time, "It's not your fault, but we fault you for it." When everyone you love looks at you and says, "I understand you have a problem. But I can't be with you anymore." When everyone in the job world says, "You're great! We love you! But we can't hire you because of this thing that is out of your control."
That, my friends, is the definition of depression. When society's only response to your plight is, "We don't blame you for who you are, we just blame you for who you are." what rational option is there left in the world? What sane person wants to live in a world like that? Who wants to live in a world where you have been defined as a failure, no matter what you do or don't do? What person wants to live in a world where basic logic has no meaning?
No one wants to live with that. It is particularly frustrating to see people addicted to all kinds of nonsense that is NOT looked down on by society. The reality is that peer-approval is a more powerful drug than anything any of us addicts smoke, shoot, have sex with, or shove up our butts. And the self-righteous masses sit around basking in the glow of their shared high of moral superiority, as though that's not a drug, and you aren't addicted to it.
Meanwhile, we feel sorry for or demonize or criticize those people who take their own lives to get away from the madness of being an addict in a world full of hypocritical addicts.
I'm not saying that I'm in favor of suicide. I'm saying that suicide is the ever-present shadow of a society that treats addicts like criminals, and I'm saying that it is a rational response to some kinds of treatment. We desperately need to understand this. It's not irrational, it's not crazy, and it's not because someone is messed up on drugs. It's a completely rational response to an unending situation that has no positive outcome.
I won't ever do it because two people have affected my life by doing it in all the most horrible ways. Every time it crosses my mind I think about my family and my brothers and my friends and how much that would hurt them. But I have a shadow that says to me every morning when I wake up, "Really? You want to go through this again?"
And I say, "Yes." Turrents |
Jags
Brutor Tribe Minmatar Republic
8
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Posted - 2014.08.12 06:01:00 -
[57] - Quote
This will sound strange to many people but a lot find it easier to talk to people in game than IRL when it comes to problems like this, whether its having a rant at someone you have know for ages or asking advice there is usually someone there to help you.
+1 to the OP for this. |
Ruskarn Andedare
Lion Investments
541
|
Posted - 2014.08.13 10:48:00 -
[58] - Quote
Brea Lafail wrote:Rowells wrote:And advice to the logibros: do not break lock until they are out of harms way. That's actually the opposite of the (very limited) suicide prevention training I got. Pass them off to the professionals and disengage before you become their primary contact, because once that happens, you need to be available 24/7 for months.
Agreed, but you need to be sure the professionals are fully engaged before you disengage - just sending a message and hoping they act on it isn't enough.
And yes, even then you might need to be available on and off down the line but, hey, that's what being human's about. |
Skintan
Tiana Enterprises
5
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Posted - 2014.08.13 11:18:00 -
[59] - Quote
Gotta +1 this! Just Awesome! |
Jonah Gravenstein
Machiavellian Space Bastards
20092
|
Posted - 2014.08.13 11:23:00 -
[60] - Quote
This is an especially poignant and relevant thread given the recent news about the death of Robin Williams.
If I could like the OP multiple times I would. Never hold your farts in. They travel up your spine and into the brain, where they ferment. They then migrate to your keyboard via your fingers. That's where shiptoasts come from.
Nil mortifi sine lucre. |
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