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Bullock Brawn
Brawny Inc
20
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Posted - 2014.08.22 13:16:00 -
[91] - Quote
I have 5 kids (12 to 29)
1) Family first (Wife, kids, you (Eve) ... in that order)
2) EVE =
Quit your corp if you're in one. Get up early (5 or so AM) and play exploration, etc..other solo things Remember EVE is a game and it will keep. If anyone tells you otherwise.... they are just trolling.
otherwise, stop playing until they become less interested in you.... games like EVE are obsessive and need to be monitored, really!
Congrats on the family.... it's a cool ride, and far more exciting than any game. |
flakeys
Blue Republic RvB - BLUE Republic
2420
|
Posted - 2014.08.22 13:18:00 -
[92] - Quote
Kaarous Aldurald wrote:My daughter likes to watch when I suicide gank.
But she has gotten me killed on this character a fair bit, oftentimes in embarassing fashions because she wants to try and play the game if I leave the chair for more than a few moments.
But eh, it's no biggie, I am just glad she doesn't lick windows or try to kiss electric sockets like some of her cousins do.
My sons where having a blast watching the AT last weekend.They asked me to stream it to the big tv so they could watch it , was fun seeing them sitting there watching eve fights while eating a bag of chips .
That is untill mom came in and ruined the day , as per usuall .
We are all born ignorant, but one must work hard to remain stupid.
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flakeys
Blue Republic RvB - BLUE Republic
2420
|
Posted - 2014.08.22 13:30:00 -
[93] - Quote
Serene Repose wrote:I didn't play any game but Parenting for twenty+ years. I don't see how anyone could possibly pursue a gaming interest, properly maintain a household and raise children at the same time. I see people claiming they're doing it all the time. I have serious doubts. What makes this very difficult is how the economy has devolved into a form of economic slavery requiring two spouses to work in order to make ends meet. (I think my sleep went back to normal around three years after the last one moved out.) I'm not going to go into a morality/sociology diatribe about it. Unfortunately, like designer coffee, parents get to raise their kids "how they see fit" in this world. That's often a mask for "not raise them at all"; fast food diets, parking the offspring in front of the Cartoon Channel...then we laugh at generations that can't find their own state on a map. To each his own. You're free to ruin your progeny after your own image. My ultimate view is - you can't raise kids and seriously game. Impossible. One or the other will suffer. Love Child - The documentary
Yes you can , unless you want to play 9 hours in a row.I don't know any parent who isn't relaxing in the evening when the kids are in bed.Be it watching tv , reading a book or gaming , everyone needs to relax a few hours in the evening.If all you do is work and take care of others then you have a ****** life in my view.
We are all born ignorant, but one must work hard to remain stupid.
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BoBoZoBo
Paragon Fury Tactical Narcotics Team
461
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Posted - 2014.08.22 13:43:00 -
[94] - Quote
In a very methodical manner.
I have the same situation as you pretty much. It is not just the kids, but the wife as well. She is just as aching for time once the kids are indisposed.
First opportunity you have is nap time. But hat also comes with sexy time so there is not much time left for eve other than some in-station tasks of short travel. If not, it is work or other day-chores.
Next opportunity is bed time. Which follows the same pattern as above. Normally EVE time fits in afterwards and I will sometimes take it into the late night, getting me a solid 4-5 hours. This is limited, since littles ones don't give a flying frack about letting you sleep in.
Outside of that it comes to time management. I tell the wife I can either have a guys night at a strip club, or a night of playing eve, so that buys me blocks of time as well. Luckily, she is cool and gets the play-style that comes with EVE anyway.
I definitely do not have the time I had a few years ago, but it is manageable if you want to make the time for it. Of course, it comes at the price of doing other things. Primary Test Subject GÇó SmackTalker Elite |
Talvorian Dex
Repercussus RAZOR Alliance
24
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Posted - 2014.08.22 17:54:00 -
[95] - Quote
Trash Candice wrote:My little one just turned two, and -- while I've stayed subbed since she's been born -- I haven't really been able to meaningfully engage with the game this whole time. I've settled into a pattern where I keep my skill queue filled. I do some light industry, and I do my hauling at night after she's asleep.
I do have these dreams of a glorious future where I and daddy's little scouting alt go traipsing through the vast reaches of space, but I don't know realistically how far off that future is (if ever).
Since this game has been around long enough for folks to have had families and children, I thought I'd ask the community:
Did you stick around through the early parts of childhood or did you take a break? If you stuck around, what did you find you were able to do to keep you interested and engaged? At what ages or developmental milestones were you able to expand the scope of your play? What did it entail? Did you ever introduce you kids to Eve? If so, at what age and with what restrictions?
Thanks in advance folks!
I have a 3-yr-old and a 1-yr-old, and I only started playing again after the 3-yr-old was born. With two toddlers, I play only in the evenings now. Mostly after my wife goes to bed; from 9:30 to 11:30 is when I tend to play. On the weekends, I can do longer at night, but I'm out of commission during the day times regardless. I still don't have a problem plexing both of my accounts. Writer of Target Caller, an Eve Online PvP blog, at http://targetcaller.blogspot.com |
Talvorian Dex
Repercussus RAZOR Alliance
24
|
Posted - 2014.08.22 17:56:00 -
[96] - Quote
flakeys wrote:My sons where having a blast watching the AT last weekend.They asked me to stream it to the big tv so they could watch it , was fun seeing them sitting there watching eve fights while eating a bag of chips . That is untill mom came in and ruined the day , as per usuall .
I hooked my laptop up to the TV with an HDMI cable and was watching the AT last weekend. My daughter was happy once I set up Hub Network via the Verizon app on my phone.
When my wife woke up from her afternoon nap, she took one look at the setup and shook her head. Writer of Target Caller, an Eve Online PvP blog, at http://targetcaller.blogspot.com |
Slade Trillgon
Brutor Force Federated
3122
|
Posted - 2014.08.22 22:08:00 -
[97] - Quote
Trash Candice wrote:Serene Repose wrote:False dilemma troll But hey, I'll bite. Raising children and serious gaming are not the only two options. There's a whole continuum between these poles that is totally viable and healthy. Counterexamples: this thread. Protip to all the readers thinking about starting a family out there: ignore the abridged screed above. Just because you have had a child does not mean that society demands that you don a hairshirt and hang yourself upon the cross of parenthood for the next twenty years. If you do not give yourself, your spouse, and your child the time and space to be complete human beings with their own opinions, relationships, and interests (including gaming) then you will all come out of the other end of next few decades physically and emotionally crippled. Make time for yourself. Make time for each other. Share your interests, but allow everyone to find their own way to engage. The rest is just bookkeeping.
Exactly. Also it is good to teach your children young how to entertain themselves, to be imaginative, to problem solve. All of which assist in giving parents time to do the things that need to be done...and rest, relaxation and recreation are part of the human condition. No need to do anything in excess, gaming or parenting. |
Desimus Maximus
Deep Core Mining Inc. Caldari State
74
|
Posted - 2014.08.22 22:15:00 -
[98] - Quote
It's called divorce. |
Marcus Arelios
Blackjack Brigade
1
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Posted - 2014.08.22 22:41:00 -
[99] - Quote
I learned a long time ago I have no interest in having kids. Dogs are as far as I go..... Although, sometimes they are a hindrance as well to gaming. Its too hard to keep playing when I have this face looking at me |
Presidente Gallente
Dark-Rising Executive Outcomes
115
|
Posted - 2014.08.25 15:28:00 -
[100] - Quote
I have two sons at 7 and 9. I am playing EVE since March 2006. From my experience it's not really compatible with a family life. The usual time to play is at EVEning or weekend. But the weekend is mostly also limited to the EVEnings. EVEning means here late night mostly what will cause additional problems over the years: sleep deprivation. My wife is cool but the game isn't healthy for a relationship for a lot of reasons. EVE is time consuming depending what you do ingame. I am focused on PvP and part of a great group of players. But I can't join all the acitivities and for years I have worked out my own independend style to play. Over the day I have to take care about my RL company. This gives me more freedom compared to an employee but to keep a company running well is a complex job.
EVE is a great game indeed but it makes life a bit more complicated. Due to the limited sparetime I want to play as much as possible but I have a familiy. And familiy must come first. We have a lot of activities but when you play EVE every day at night it will definitely affect your job and relationship negatively. This is a fact from my experience.
Additionally you have to understand that you are a model for your kids. My kids love playing Minecraft and all these games on my iPad. I had many discussion with my wife who has no interest in computer games. I don't share the opinion that kids should not play more than 30 minutes per day. That's totally stupid. You never would take away LEGO after 30 minutes when they have fun with it. But video games are more different ofc.I am playing video games since the first cabinets on the market. I watched thousands of hours TV. I must be a loser and nerd without a social life. Well, I am not
But you have to take control over your kids behaviour and limit their time depending on what they play. But on the other side they see their dad sitting at EVE (the PC) all the time when he's at home. My wife hates it. I can understand this but it's really hard to break the routine because of EVE's concept. It's just too easy to log-in and once you are in combat and action there's no pause-button for kids- and wife aggro. My wife and myself agreed that it's important to stay with the kids till they go to bed and that we also need time for us. I am honest: it works for a while but then I start to do "EVE beside" again till the next dispute. The game is addictive and for me it has become a part of my life because it's an intense hobby.
I am pretty sure that most of us with a family must have the same issues. Fact is: I will keep my sons away from EVE as long as possible. If they start to play EVIL-Online under 16 my wife would file for divorce.
The day has 24 hours. It this isn't enough we play EVE at night. |
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Jenn aSide
Smokin Aces.
7764
|
Posted - 2014.08.25 15:58:00 -
[101] - Quote
Desimus Maximus wrote:It's called divorce.
Thus far EVE has survived 2 real wives (1 ex and 1 current) and 1 'common law wife' who was really just a sidechick who left her toothbrush in my bathroom. EVE is Real Eternal.
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DeadDuck
Viziam Amarr Empire
88
|
Posted - 2014.08.25 16:29:00 -
[102] - Quote
Trash Candice wrote: Did you stick around through the early parts of childhood or did you take a break?
I continue playing EVE when my son born. Sometimes you have to go afk but it was easy. TBH it was when my social life melted (baby born) that I started to play EVE more and more since to nights out, cinemas ect etc started to be rare.
Trash Candice wrote: If you stuck around, what did you find you were able to do to keep you interested and engaged?
TBH I continued to play focusing in what I was doing before. PVP.
Trash Candice wrote: Did you ever introduce you kids to Eve? If so, at what age and with what restrictions?
Yes. I created a character to him when he was 10 and soon after he started to play side by side with me. Today he is 14 and we continue to play together focusing on PVP. Yep my original idea of creating a "isk slave" for me backfired and now I'm stuck with a lazy grunt addicted on PVP in wich I have to pay him the damn ships and fits
TBH thats pretty much what we do. We go out together to find some fights and usually we die together. We even entered in a AT tournement together
Regarding restrictions I locked him the convos and he was only allowed to be on TS when I was around.
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corebloodbrothers
Volition Cult The Volition Cult
632
|
Posted - 2014.08.25 16:32:00 -
[103] - Quote
I got 4 kids, age 4-10 , i can say i am oretty eve dedicated, with csm, fc ing for provi block most evenings.
Ofc rl , work and kids come first. My time is aftehr 20.00 h till 2400 max. Which is solid 4 h. I joined providence as u can instantly get a fleet and some pew pew. I cant sit on titans anymore for nigts and days, or a super till downtime.
In rl i plan, i tend to please the wife with cleaning, making sure dinner is on time on table, doing good dad things, so i am really done when it hits 20.00 . Eve emails and such on ipad, same as skype to arnage battles, talks and other stuff. I pads at work is a nice combo. Work. Play , rl floe on eachother.
It shoudl all be enjoyable, u dont want to be the dad that played that game that doesnt excist anymore and didnt see his kids grow up. So u maximise the joy form time with them, and u ensure u really play. Not station spin or carebear. I want to pew pew when i am online
U shoudl not look at others, but at yourself, and put actions where thougts are
Cu in eve |
Presidente Gallente
Dark-Rising Executive Outcomes
115
|
Posted - 2014.08.25 17:01:00 -
[104] - Quote
corebloodbrothers wrote:I got 4 kids, age 4-10 , i can say i am oretty eve dedicated, with csm, fc ing for provi block most evenings.
Ofc rl , work and kids come first. My time is aftehr 20.00 h till 2400 max. Which is solid 4 h. I joined providence as u can instantly get a fleet and some pew pew. I cant sit on titans anymore for nigts and days, or a super till downtime.
In rl i plan, i tend to please the wife with cleaning, making sure dinner is on time on table, doing good dad things, so i am really done when it hits 20.00 . Eve emails and such on ipad, same as skype to arnage battles, talks and other stuff. I pads at work is a nice combo. Work. Play , rl floe on eachother.
It shoudl all be enjoyable, u dont want to be the dad that played that game that doesnt excist anymore and didnt see his kids grow up. So u maximise the joy form time with them, and u ensure u really play. Not station spin or carebear. I want to pew pew when i am online
U shoudl not look at others, but at yourself, and put actions where thougts are
Cu in eve
What is your wife doing in RL? Isn't EVE robbing too much time for a man and woman relationship beside the family life with kids? |
Zephraim Cockring
Center for Advanced Studies Gallente Federation
2
|
Posted - 2014.08.25 18:04:00 -
[105] - Quote
We just had our first four months ago - my playtime has nosedived, but I still find time to log in and have fun maybe every other day or so, at least just to keep skills going and have quick 1.5 - 2 hr sessions. Here's how I've managed so far:
1. Don't expect things to be like they were, because they won't be.
2. Try to work out some kind of regular schedule - a couple hours a couple times a week where you can just play. The kid has to sleep sometime - I have a lot more responsibility now, I've just cut out a few other things. It's not the epic sessions you're used to, but how much of that time did you spend actually doing fun eve stuff and how much did you spend spinning / trolling local / gabbing on comms? Which brings me to
3. Maximize the time you've got - figure out parent friendly playstyle opportunities - things where you can log in and go, not worry about sudden AFK, and not have to be on other corp members schedules / ctas or anything like that. It may mean finding a new corp. It may mean training new skills, buying new ships, moving to a new part of space, trying things you never thought you'd try. Which is a good thing.
4. Embrace and/both rather than either/or. A couple times I've popped my daughter into a bjorn and had her watch as I did my thing. She was way into it. My wife was not as into it, but when she sees us laughing together and having fun, it is hard to argue. Just remember you may have to sing the itsy bitsy spider at any time, so push to talk is your friend.
5. Most importantly, don't feel bad. Eve will be there when you're ready, and I sincerely hope Eve will be there when my daughter is ready for it. Just keep your training queue moving forward, and remember that you're likely having more fun with your kid than you would be in eve.
--ZC |
Ralph King-Griffin
Lords.Of.Midnight The Devil's Warrior Alliance
4212
|
Posted - 2014.08.25 18:11:00 -
[106] - Quote
Zephraim Cockring wrote:We just had our first four months ago - my playtime has nosedived, but I still find time to log in and have fun maybe every other day or so, at least just to keep skills going and have quick 1.5 - 2 hr sessions. Here's how I've managed so far: You're actually in the most draining part imo, not only are you dealing with an infant, you're also changing the way you act and think while developing skills I bet you didn't know you had
Quote: and remember that you're likely having more fun with your kid than you would be in eve.
--ZC very much this, o7 =][= |
Xavi Bastanold
Parallax Shift The Periphery
0
|
Posted - 2014.08.25 18:14:00 -
[107] - Quote
I've gamed since forever (been gaming before there were PCs--hence, 'forever'). I gamed hardcore until my marriage, since my wife isn't a gamer. Gamed even less when my son was born. Now he's 14 years old. I'd say the hardest years to game were up until my son turned pre-teen. Until that point I wanted to put time with my kid, be there for him rather than glued to a screen. Can't say I was even close to perfect at it, but that was the principle anyway. He's a gamer himself now, which is a double-edged sword of sorts.
Can't answer the more EVE-specific questions(only been with EVE since last year), but the topic is thought provoking in a more general sense too. Good hunting, Xavi |
Belt Scout
Thread Lockaholics Anonymous
648
|
Posted - 2014.08.25 21:35:00 -
[108] - Quote
Thats the cats way of saying "Enough typing. Time for petting."
.
They say most of your brain shuts down on the EvE forums. All but the impatient side, and the sarcastic side. No wonder I'm still awake. |
Reznorock
Czerka Unlimited Drop the Hammer
0
|
Posted - 2014.08.26 00:54:00 -
[109] - Quote
@OP
Sometimes im not sure how I play eve. beyond grabbing the time when I can. which means docking at least twice during an anomoly if im going solo. and not making a whole lot of isk. and probably irritating people when I can't get on coms so don't go on ops. which I still manage to do at least twice a week.
Combine that with being back to eve for about a month and a half after being gone for 5 years. its... been fun trying to relearn the game. and I do get a bit agitated at times when people get bent out of shape for what I consider no good reason. but slow and steady im getting back into it all. and take the time when I can.
I think the most important thing to do is know your limits. don't go on excursions when you know there is a very good chance you are going to have to step away with no idea when you are going to come back. try to be reasonable , people without kids don't seem to understand, and some will look at you with disdain. Having "Me time" when the significant other is around helps a lot to throw in an hour or two in the evening.
I guess thats about it.
TLDR:
Take the time when you can to play, be reasonable, don't take any ****. RL first.
Oh and if it's passed bed time, it is perfectly acceptable to 1. lock children in their room 2. let them watch silently while you play till they pass out. If they are older, maybe start setting aside isk to buy yourself another character and teach them to play hehehehe. |
Wacktopia
Noir. Noir. Mercenary Group
673
|
Posted - 2014.08.26 09:32:00 -
[110] - Quote
corebloodbrothers wrote:It shoudl all be enjoyable, u dont want to be the dad that played that game that doesnt excist anymore and didnt see his kids grow up. So u maximise the joy form time with them, and u ensure u really play. Not station spin or carebear. I want to pew pew when i am online
I couldn't agree more with this sentiment. I think it's true of any MMO - plan your game time and maximise the fun.
Sometimes it means I take great breaks from EVE, other times it means I pull a bunch of late-nighters.
Kitchen sink? Seriousy, get your ship together - -áFleet-Up.com |
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isk4trade
Cogitation Mining and Industrial Trading
45
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Posted - 2014.08.26 13:21:00 -
[111] - Quote
Perhaps you could teach yourself and your child to spell and speak better English for some of that time ?
me
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Nico Laitanen
Federal Navy Academy Gallente Federation
6
|
Posted - 2014.08.26 13:41:00 -
[112] - Quote
I just had my first nine months ago. So, she's just old enough to rocket away and immediately start getting into stuff she shouldn't, but not quite old enough to understand no or what things will cause pain and why. That being said, I sold my old character and started a new one. My game time now consists of updating skill queue and forums. |
Xavi Bastanold
Parallax Shift The Periphery
1
|
Posted - 2014.08.26 15:28:00 -
[113] - Quote
This has been an interesting discussion overall. As I was going over the latest posts a question dawned on me: is there a corp made for parents out there? I know we have 'laid back' corps, but there's a specificity to parental 'laid backness.' Just wondering. Good hunting, Xavi |
BoBoZoBo
Paragon Fury Tactical Narcotics Team
467
|
Posted - 2014.08.26 15:38:00 -
[114] - Quote
Train Parenting to L5, then Boy/Girl Specialization to at least 3.
Also: - Household Management Specialization 3 - Time Management Specialization 5 - Spousal Appeasement Specialization 5 - Spousal Arousal Specialization 4 (5 will make her an addict, 4 just puts her to sleep)
Primary Test Subject GÇó SmackTalker Elite |
Xavi Bastanold
Parallax Shift The Periphery
1
|
Posted - 2014.08.26 15:45:00 -
[115] - Quote
Juan Diolosa wrote:I went on a week-long business trip last year. I forgot to set my skill-queue and my PI.
I knew my my daughter would be up getting ready for school just after DT so I called her and told her to log into my account and I walked her through doing both tasks.
Just as we were on the last planet, I heard the angry sounding voice of my wife asking why my daughter was on the computer playing games and talking on the phone when she should be at the bus stop...
Daughter -> MOOOOOM! IT'S DADDY'S PEE EYE! I HAVE TO SET IT OR HE LOSES ISKS!
Wife -> WTF did you just say?! Is that your father on the phone?!
Daughter -> JEEZE MOM, YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW IMPORTANT THIS IS. DADDY'S CURLY CUE IS EMPTY.
Wife -> Give me that GD phone.
- struggle struggle grunt whine -
Wife -> Listen to me, GDI... I don't even know, nor do I care wtf a pee eye is or why you have a curly cue... but we're going to have a conversation when you get back home...
Me -> Love ya, hon... Late for a meeting.
- click -
(daughter missed the bus)
Dude, I seriously hope all turned out well for you on this one. Totally hear ya. In fact, I'm glad I wasn't drinking coffee when reading your post as it would have been sprayed across the screen. Funny as hell--but only because I've been there and done similar. Good hunting, Xavi |
Slade Trillgon
Brutor Force Federated
3131
|
Posted - 2014.08.26 17:12:00 -
[116] - Quote
This video, The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch, is very enlightening for parents. I highly suggest all view this as it is inspiring beyond all belief.
Also, Randy's career is one that would interest many in the gaming world as he was a professor of computer science, human-computer interaction, and design at Carnegie Mellon University in Pittsburgh. (from the wiki page) |
Zephraim Cockring
Center for Advanced Studies Gallente Federation
3
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Posted - 2014.08.26 18:09:00 -
[117] - Quote
Juan Diolosa wrote:I went on a week-long business trip last year. I forgot to set my skill-queue and my PI.
I knew my my daughter would be up getting ready for school just after DT so I called her and told her to log into my account and I walked her through doing both tasks.
This reminds me of the time I was hauling 200M isk worth of loot to sell - mid warp to the last gate before the hub I got up to get a drink of water, as I was feeling a bit woozy. I ended up passing out and cutting my head open pretty badly - lots of blood.
When I came to, my wife was holding me up in a sitting position - bless her, she kept a cool head and was applying pressure to the wound with a washcloth. She asked "What do we do now?"
I said "Listen to me very carefully. Go to my laptop, right click in space and find Jita 4 moon 4 caldari navi assembly plant..."
Considering the look she gave me, I was lucky I was already covered in blood.
--ZC |
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