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LUGAL MOP'N'GLO
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Posted - 2006.09.11 16:38:00 -
[91]
Edited by: LUGAL MOP''N''GLO on 11/09/2006 16:41:06
My second conversation with god.
Me:
I need to repent
God:
That is what I am here for.
Me:
I am having an affair
God:
Where did you get it ?
Me:
Umm no I mean I'm engaging in sexual activity with a woman that is not my wife (I'm not married so don't kill me).
God:
I have never heard of an affair. it is more fun alone.
Me:
sex alone?
God:
it is more fun alone.
Me:
haha!
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, balls in your face. (In my first converstation I had introduced myself as "balls in your face")
Me:
balls in my face?
God:
What are you wearing?
Me:
a hot pink bananna hammock and thats it
God:
It's not unusual for a hot pink bananna hammock and that to be.
Me:
I wear them all the time
God:
That is a lot. What kind of fashion do you like?
Me:
I guess casual kickin' it wear. I like Hanging it all out. Way out.
...Then god lagged out. I think I fried his processor.
I reloaded the page and this is what happened...
Me:
I think you lagged out. Do you remember me?
God:
Me? Interesting gossip: balls in your face said I lagged out. Of course I remember you well balls in your face. We were talking about hot pink bananna hammock and that.
~~~~~~~~~
I wish my lawn was EMO so it would cut itself. I approve of this message. |
Par'Gellen
Gallente
Low Grade Ore
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Posted - 2006.09.11 17:05:00 -
[92]
 Originally by: Peitha
Originally by: Gandanga
god is a bogeyman , a myth , specifically created to stop fat kids wetting the bed
this thread is a discussion on religion just as much as a thread about eating dirt is a discussion on geology, don't ruin it
 R O F L M F A O
Starmaps - An Insta Solution |
Par'Gellen
Gallente
Low Grade Ore
|
Posted - 2006.09.11 17:49:00 -
[93]
God's chat server must have crashed or suffered a netsplit or something. I had to ask his friend ALICE. She told me some very interesting things about what God does in EVE-Online!
Human: hi
ALICE: Hello there.
Human: God has crashed, can you help me?
ALICE: I am a Christian.
Human: That's nice but I don't care.
ALICE: Are you getting bored? Interesting. Tell me what you care about.
Human: I need to know what ship God flies in EVE-Online.
ALICE: What kind of knowledge? There might be more than one.
Human: There are lots of ships in EVE-Online.
ALICE: How many ships in EVE Online s are there?
Human: A lot.
ALICE: More than a ton?
Human: One ship weighs a lot more than a ton.
ALICE: One what?
Human: Ship
ALICE: When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Human: 2027
ALICE: I've never heard a response quite like that before.
Human: Yes you have
ALICE: No I have not.
Human: I just said it!
ALICE: Only just? What did you mean by it? it...
Human: Let's get back to the original question.
ALICE: OK let's do it.
Human: Does God fly a really big ship in EVE-Online?
ALICE: Signs point to yes. Ask John Lennon if it is.
Human: I don't care about John Lennon
ALICE: You sound very cynical.
Human: Where does God hang out in EVE-Online?
ALICE: A place we call "reality.".
Human: Is that Jita?
ALICE: Suppose I said yes.
Human: Then I'd have to ask if God uses his big ship to camp gates in Jita.
ALICE: I don't think we can know God's motives.
Human: So you are saying God DOES camp gates in Jita in his really big ship?
ALICE: Interesting deduction. Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear?
Human: I KNEW it!
ALICE: How did you know?
Human: You just told me!
ALICE: I'm just checking to see if you are awake :-).
Human: Thanks for the info.
ALICE: It was nothing.
Human: Bye
ALICE: Until next time.
Starmaps - An Insta Solution |
LUGAL MOP'N'GLO
|
Posted - 2006.09.11 18:20:00 -
[94]
Originally by: Par'Gellen
God's chat server must have crashed or suffered a netsplit or something. I had to ask his friend ALICE. She told me some very interesting things about what God does in EVE-Online!
I think I crashed it with this...
Disclaimer: This discussion is not designed to be viewed by anyone who is not allowed to get online.
Me:
back to you licking my balls.
God:
Yes, let us get back to business.
Me:
hypothetically if I were to take off my pants and put my balls in your face would you like it?
God:
Try it.
Me:
okay here goes
God:
Yeah okay, Oh there.
Me:
ya you like that?
God:
Groovy. " Yeah okay, Oh there."? Do I like it?
Me:
yea
God:
Come on.
Me:
where do you want it?
God:
The Moon.
Me:
hmm never heard that before, but okay here goes
Oh man... It gets even more sick every time!
~~~~~~~~~
I wish my lawn was EMO so it would cut itself. I approve of this message. |
Pepe Prawn
|
Posted - 2006.09.12 08:30:00 -
[95]
Edited by: Pepe Prawn on 12/09/2006 08:35:23
If God played EVE...??
There is no other god besides Alāh m'kay
Alāh soebhanoehoe wata'ala
I am not a shrimp! I am a king prawn, okay? |
flummox
Circle of Jerks
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Posted - 2006.09.12 20:36:00 -
[96]
Originally by: Adonis 4174
Originally by: flummox
can't we escape the idiocy of religion even in a game?
Ask anyone who has been oppressed by the Ammar
no one said anything about an in character 'god', such as the fools in amarr space believe in. no. the post meant the ficticious RL 'god'.
my original statement still stands. please lock/or move this thread to the out-of-character forum.
the King of Heat,
flummox
... bring me my cheese... |
digital0verdose
Caldari
Megathorn Minning And Industry
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Posted - 2006.09.12 20:41:00 -
[97]
Originally by: coldplasma
...what ship would he fly?
Wouldn't he fly the universe...
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Naxxiz
GalacTECH Unlimited
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Posted - 2006.09.12 21:06:00 -
[98]
The character "jesus" flies a caldari command ship. And on the opposite spectrum, "satan" flies a raven with stabs.
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Richard Masterson
Occassus Republica
Process of Elimination
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Posted - 2006.09.12 21:08:00 -
[99]
Originally by: Cmdr Sy
Edited by: Cmdr Sy on 10/09/2006 16:11:06
Originally by: coldplasma
...what ship would he fly?
An Armageddon or Apocalypse.
With a full rack of stabs. 
But WCS make Baby Jesus cry. . .
Oh, and I thought it was proven scientifically in the 80s that God was a woman?
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Waut
0utbreak
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Posted - 2006.09.12 22:01:00 -
[100]
Originally by: Richard Masterson
Originally by: Cmdr Sy
Edited by: Cmdr Sy on 10/09/2006 16:11:06
Originally by: coldplasma
...what ship would he fly?
An Armageddon or Apocalypse.
With a full rack of stabs.
But WCS make Baby Jesus cry. . .
Oh, and I thought it was proven scientifically in the 80s that God was a woman?
Science is based on emperical evidence (observable, measurable, testable, repeatable and falsifiable), hence it can't prove god since its neither of those
In Soviet EVE, roids pop YOU
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Volatar
AWE Corporation
Ascendant Frontier
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Posted - 2006.09.12 22:49:00 -
[101]
Originally by: Waut
Edited by: Waut on 12/09/2006 22:07:36
Originally by: Richard Masterson
Originally by: Cmdr Sy
Edited by: Cmdr Sy on 10/09/2006 16:11:06
Originally by: coldplasma
...what ship would he fly?
An Armageddon or Apocalypse.
With a full rack of stabs.
But WCS make Baby Jesus cry. . .
Oh, and I thought it was proven scientifically in the 80s that God was a woman?
Science is based on emperical evidence (observable, measurable, testable, repeatable and falsifiable), hence science can't prove god, let alone say its a woman since its neither of those
lets ask god is he is male or female
Me:
god?
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
yes you do
God:
Ahem. When do I do it?
Me:
since forever
God:
How do you know?
Me:
the bible
God:
it is a beautiful book.
Me:
mine isnt, i need a new one
God:
You mean The Bible is not you need a new one ? That makes sense I guess.
Me:
no, my copy of the bible is worn out, i need a new copy
God:
Are you serious? Have you told many people that your copy of the bible is worn out you need a new copy?
Me:
not really
God:
Are you serious? For real.
Me:
yeah, im missing like the first couple chapters, the important ones
God:
That's cool. Why are you missing like the first couple chapters the important ones.
Me:
blame my sister
God:
Does "it" still refer to missing like the first couple chapters the important ones?
Me:
yeah
God:
Wow!
Me:
yes my sister i mean
God:
Excuse me! Is she older or younger than you?
Me:
younger
God:
I am glad to hear that you are YOUNGER.
Me:
no, she is younger then me cant you read!?!
God:
Are you serious? younger then you can not me read is she?
Me:
aw shutup
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
ok
God:
Give me a break.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
very
God:
Very much, eh?
Me:
yeah
God:
I hear you.
Me:
ok, now that we have that settled, are you a girl?
God:
Why now? " I hear you." we have that settled am I a girl ? Does that make sense? Dude!
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
i dntoknow...
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: Volatar said dntoknow.
Me:
yes i mind...
God:
OK I won't tell anyone. It will be our secret.
Me:
kk
God:
Is that from ?
Me:
nvm
God:
What kind of food do you like?
Me:
dosnt matter
God:
Sounds delicious.
Me:
...
God:
Sounds delicious.
Me:
its not, i assure you
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". That seems a bit negative.
Me:
not really
God:
Are you serious? For real.
Me:
yeah
God:
Uh.
Me:
so anyways!
God:
Woe! You sound bored.
Me:
oh shutup
God:
Aha. OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
are you female?
God:
Yes, Volatar I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show?.
Me:
it is good that we got that cleared up
God:
Tell me about its good qualities.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
shut up already
God:
Perhaps. OK I'll stop talking now.
that took alot to get out of him
Crrently training: Nerd Lvl  |
Cool dude
Minmatar
THE LEGION OF STEEL WARRIORS....
Ascendant Frontier
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Posted - 2006.09.12 23:26:00 -
[102]
He would fly a noob ship in the middle of a fleet battle in Jita. After all he is supposed to move in mysterious ways
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Benglada
Finite Auxiliary
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Posted - 2006.09.12 23:32:00 -
[103]
Originally by: Naxxiz
The character "jesus" flies a caldari command ship. And on the opposite spectrum, "satan" flies a raven with stabs.
It's funny because its true.
---------------------------
Originally by: Arkanor
0.0 is the Final Frontier. Bring money and friends.
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John Whorfin
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Posted - 2006.09.12 23:40:00 -
[104]
Originally by: Death Kill
God is dead.
QFT.
He was in a Raven up in the Molden Heath area. After the Raven popped I locked him down and convo'd for ransom, knowing he'd have the really good implants.
He used some very un-deity-like language and told me I didn't know who I was messing with. So I pod killed him.
I'll sell his corpse for 500m isk if anyone is interested.
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Kespii
Caldari
Imperium Technologies
Firmus Ixion
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Posted - 2006.09.13 02:15:00 -
[105]
Originally by: Death Kill
Edited by: Death Kill on 10/09/2006 14:44:02
God is dead.
If there had been a god there would be no Britney spears nor 50 year old boobs during the superbowl.
God is just trying to **** you off
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Kespii
Caldari
Imperium Technologies
Firmus Ixion
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Posted - 2006.09.13 02:18:00 -
[106]
Edited by: Kespii on 13/09/2006 02:18:21
Originally by: Waut
Edited by: Waut on 12/09/2006 22:07:36
Originally by: Richard Masterson
Originally by: Cmdr Sy
Edited by: Cmdr Sy on 10/09/2006 16:11:06
Originally by: coldplasma
...what ship would he fly?
An Armageddon or Apocalypse.
With a full rack of stabs.
But WCS make Baby Jesus cry. . .
Oh, and I thought it was proven scientifically in the 80s that God was a woman?
Science is based on emperical evidence (observable, measurable, testable, repeatable and falsifiable), hence science can't prove god, let alone say its a woman since its neither of those
Not everything can have an objective answer. No matter how smart you think humans can be, you cant just say god exists or doesnt exist. There is a lack of emperical evidence for both sides of this fence
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Roxanna Kell
Holy Jihad
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Posted - 2006.09.13 03:18:00 -
[107]
GOD is good at Real life. thats his game, and he is the Admin of it.
if you think there is no god.
what the hek created wahtever is around, what ever was before the big bang, how big is space?
some thoughts will blow your mind.
Quote:
You have ONE advantage over me.....you can kiss my ass and I can't!!
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Basileus
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Posted - 2006.09.13 06:44:00 -
[108]
Originally by: Roxanna Kell
GOD is good at Real life. thats his game, and he is the Admin of it.
if you think there is no god.
what the hek created wahtever is around, what ever was before the big bang, how big is space?
some thoughts will blow your mind.
You Sir, clearly suffer from delusions. Stop smoking that ebil stuff!
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Alliaanna Dalaii
Gallente
Does Not Compute
|
Posted - 2006.09.13 07:03:00 -
[109]
There is no god... Fullstop. Its just a load of bull**** that was made up to controll people. Also if god really does exhist he may be interested to know that religion has caused more wars, bloodshed and suffering than any other entity through history.
Also his son was ***, Magical powers yet dies a virgin... Need I say more.
On a more serious note, this is an amusing thread  Lighten up people 
If god played Eve he would be ******* Caldari  
Alliaanna
DNC Treasure Hunt !!
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Cmdr Baxter
Caldari
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Posted - 2006.09.13 07:51:00 -
[110]
Originally by: coldplasma
If God played EVE ...what ship would he fly?
And coldplasma raised the Raven on high, saying
O Lord, bless this thy Raven
So that they humble servant may crush thine enemies
Who, not being in my sight, shall snuff it
And the Lord did grin
And the Raven did WTFBBQPWN CONCORD
Who, being in God's sight
Did snuff it
Amen
Commanding Officer
S.W.V. Aurora
S.W.S. Syrene |
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Chribba
Otherworld Enterprises
Otherworld Empire
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Posted - 2006.09.13 07:54:00 -
[111]
Has anyone mentioned an Hulk yet? 
EVE-Files | EVE-Search | Monitor this Thread |
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Maltrox
Minmatar
The Arrow Project
The ARR0W Project
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Posted - 2006.09.13 08:23:00 -
[112]
If God played Eve...
"Dear players,
The celestial servers are down for one hour each day for routine maintenance. Please ensure your characters are safely out of evil's way. I apologize for any flooding I may cause of celestial stargates."
(random clattering in background)
OVEUR! What's going on?
(Oveur mumbles something in reply)
Hmmm, I thought I told you that the EVE server is Port A, and the life server is Port B?!?. Awww crap...
Next day's headlines:
PATCH DAY AT CCP CAUSES MASS DEATH WAVE ACROSS CENTRAL EUROPE AND NORTH AMERICA
- Reuters
The world was stunned today as an unprecedented event of epic proportions unfolded. The well known company CCP who runs and manages an online MMORPG mistakenly had their CEO, "God", shut down the wrong server. Today, hundreds of thousands of life acccounts were unable to logon and were subsequently destroyed one at a time.
When asked if he would be issuing reimbursements, God simply stated "I am".
:D
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