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Thread Statistics | Show CCP posts - 0 post(s) |
ee21k
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Posted - 2007.01.13 16:33:00 -
[31]
There is only one Gallante joke: caldari (small c) prime!
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Verone
Veto.
Veto Corp
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Posted - 2007.01.13 17:28:00 -
[32]
I see Janks got out of his cell again...
Damn it... now we gotta buy more rubber wallpaper... 
NEWEST MOVIE : VETO FOR HIRE
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Kyreax
Gallente
Rising Sun Coalition
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Posted - 2007.01.13 17:37:00 -
[33]
I still don't get it.
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Rising Sun Coalition is Recruiting! And...we don't smell funny like some other corps. |
Kharakan
Amarr
Morticus Impendium
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Posted - 2007.01.13 17:41:00 -
[34]
How do you get four gallentes to sit on a barstool?
Turn it upside down.
this signature space is claimed in the name of eris, haha I got to him first. neeneer
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James Snowscoran
Coreli Corporation
Corelum Syndicate
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Posted - 2007.01.13 18:56:00 -
[35]
 Originally by: Kharakan
How do you get four gallentes to sit on a barstool?
Turn it upside down.
>.<
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Sessho Seki
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Posted - 2007.01.13 19:19:00 -
[36]
Originally by: Hypo Psycho
Originally by: Sessho Seki
Isn't the thread title "Gallente Jokes!" redundant?
That's like saying "Minmatar Whiners", the two words mean the same thing.
lol dont get me started on the amarr
As already stated, this is a joke thread, not a whine thread, Minmatar need only show up to fulfill the “on topic” requirement, however speaking Minmatar/Matarii (or whinese) isn’t a joke it’s just annoying.
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Mtthias Clemi
Gallente
Infinitus Odium
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Posted - 2007.01.13 19:54:00 -
[37]
I WILL DESTORY YOU!!!
Otherwise Bravo! *claps*
ok ok that was harsh, i dont hate mods.. as an apology the mod who shows the most wuv gets a free mercedes...
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Nate D
Naughty Ambitious Temptatious Endeavours
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Posted - 2007.01.13 19:55:00 -
[38]
Janks Janks!!!! Nate make joke on Gallente too! You write for Nate on bathroom stall!
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So there were 3 pilots being chased by Concord; a Caldari, a Minmatar, and a Gallente. They all come zooming into a station with Customs on their tails and find solace in the petting zoo. The Caldari hides behind the cattle, the Minmatar behind the slave hounds, and the Gallente jumps behind the pile of dairy products. When the Concord pilots came in to look for the criminals they first searched by the cattle; to blend in the Caldari went "Moooo" and Concord decided that everything was normal and moved on. When they got to the slave hounds the Minmatar said "woof woof," again the patrol moved on. They were about to move past the dairy products when they heard a Gallente shouting "Dairy Dairy!"
Concord capped his ace!
-NÖ
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Voice Comms are Coming
...SoonÖ
[Click] |
keepiru
Supernova Security Systems
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Posted - 2007.01.13 20:10:00 -
[39]
Here's one:
caldari prime.
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Boost T2 Plate HP! |
Yblarbo Janks
Caldari
Veto.
Veto Corp
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Posted - 2007.01.13 22:56:00 -
[40]
Janks sees a redundant theme with the Gallante's joke "Caldari Prime"
Anything more than a couple words makes their heads hurt!
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Sessho Seki
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Posted - 2007.01.14 02:28:00 -
[41]
Originally by: Yblarbo Janks
Janks sees a redundant theme with the Gallante's joke "Caldari Prime"
Anything more than a couple words makes their heads hurt!
they are used to two word phrases mostly, like "I surrender!", "don't shoot!", and the always popular "run away!".
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ee21k
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Posted - 2007.01.14 04:29:00 -
[42]
Originally by: Sessho Seki
Originally by: Yblarbo Janks
Janks sees a redundant theme with the Gallante's joke "Caldari Prime"
Anything more than a couple words makes their heads hurt!
they are used to two word phrases mostly, like "I surrender!", "don't shoot!", and the always popular "run away!".
Whats that? Can't seem to hear you with all these sanctified remains of your deadlying around here. maybe if we toss a few in the garbage we will be able to hear your squeaking.
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Rollava Pollkin
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Posted - 2007.01.14 05:03:00 -
[43]
It has to be done.
Whew! That was close!" yelled the captain." That runway was short!" "Yeah!" said the copilot,
and wide too! |
Anfelina Adante
Gallente
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Posted - 2007.01.14 09:34:00 -
[44]
A Caldari, fed up with the harsh life imposed on him by his bosses, decides to leave Caldari space and comes to Gallente.
He docks at the first station he comes to and promptly makes his way to a bar.
Walking in he approaches the bartender and tells him his story and wants to know what he has to do to become an honorary Gallente.
The bartender informs him that he has to complete three tasks. Drink a quart of Ultra Quaffe with a lemon twist. Wrestle a Minmatar and win. Then find an Ammarian Noble woman and make mad passionate love with her.
The Caldari chugs the quart of Ultra Quaffe and then leaves. An hour later he comes back in, his clothes are a shambles and his face is black-and-blue.
He walks up to the bartender and says, 'Now, where is that Ammarian woman I'm supposed to wrestle?'
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Tommy TenKreds
Animal Mercantile Executive
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Posted - 2007.01.14 11:19:00 -
[45]
Q. How do you confuse a Minmatar miner?
A. Show him four mining lasers and tell him to take his pick.
__________
Q. How do you stop a Gallente from ejecting?
A. Don't target lock him.
__________
Q. How do you stop an Amarr from whining?
A. Remove local.
Originally by: Tyrrax Thorrk
Is there anything other than ISK you might be interested in? |
R34PER
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Posted - 2007.01.14 11:51:00 -
[46]
Originally by: Phoenix Mulderdart
Edited by: Phoenix Mulderdart on 13/01/2007 10:46:49
A Minnie, a Gallente and a Caldari discover a Sub-Space Etheral being. The being, named Brian, grants them each a task for him to fulfill.
Thie Minnie says "I wish that the Republics Fleet was the strongest in the Galaxy so that no-one would dare to attack us." The being clicked his etheral fingers and it was made so.
Next the Gallente; "I would like a defensive shield created around Gallente space, so strong and powerful that no weapon could penetrate it." Brian clicked his fingers and it was so.
Finally it was the Caldari's turn. "This defensive shield that they've requested. Does it stop weapons travelling both ways?". "Yes" replied Brian. "And does it have a flux co-efficient greater than 65.342%?" Asked the caldari. "Why yes, of course" Replied Brian.
The Caldari thought for a second the asked, "Any chance of filling it with anti-matter?"
Hahahah that was the best one
Loved the other jokes too.
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Thurock Daynr
Caldari
Two Brothers Mining Corp.
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Posted - 2007.01.14 11:55:00 -
[47]
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Yblarbo Janks
Caldari
Veto.
Veto Corp
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Posted - 2007.01.14 17:09:00 -
[48]
Originally by: Anfelina Adante
A Caldari, fed up with the harsh life imposed on him by his bosses, decides to leave Caldari space and comes to Gallente.
He docks at the first station he comes to and promptly makes his way to a bar.
Walking in he approaches the bartender and tells him his story and wants to know what he has to do to become an honorary Gallente.
The bartender informs him that he has to complete three tasks. Drink a quart of Ultra Quaffe with a lemon twist. Wrestle a Minmatar and win. Then find an Ammarian Noble woman and make mad passionate love with her.
The Caldari chugs the quart of Ultra Quaffe and then leaves. An hour later he comes back in, his clothes are a shambles and his face is black-and-blue.
He walks up to the bartender and says, 'Now, where is that Ammarian woman I'm supposed to wrestle?'
Janks knew that story would come back to haunt him. 
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FMAR
Gallente
Cosmic research and production services
Sylph Alliance
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Posted - 2007.01.14 19:27:00 -
[49]
The gallente in me is amused but not happy. =)
good jokes.
**********
Certified roleplaying eve-couples counselor. It's never too late to save love.
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Kim Chee
Caldari
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Posted - 2007.01.14 20:12:00 -
[50]
So there are 4 prisoners in the hands of a Jovian death squad, one Minmatar, one Gallente, one Amarr, and one Caldari. The Jovian places a pistol in front of the Minmatar and says, "You are all to be executed. You may choose between a slow torture, or this pistol. However, we wish you to tell the galaxy of our mercy, so only three bullets are loaded."
The Minmatar picks up the gun and screams "I will be avanged!", blowing his brains across the table.
The Gallente looks at the gun, and runs screaming across the room, and the Jovian speaker grabs the gun and shoots him in the back.
The Amarr quietly says, "My God will not allow me to die." He picks up the gun, and the Caldari then says "Hey, if you give me 3/4 of the going price for that gun, I'll buy it from these guys."
The Amarr gives the Caldari some cash, and the Caldari then offers to buy the gun from the Jovians. Amused, they agree. The Caldari gets up and points the gun at his Amarr companion and says, "Now, if you'd just purchase the remaining bullet from me, we can get out of here."
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keepiru
Supernova Security Systems
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Posted - 2007.01.14 21:58:00 -
[51]
Originally by: Yblarbo Janks
Janks sees a redundant theme with the Gallante's joke "Caldari Prime"
Anything more than a couple words makes their heads hurt!
We keep them simple so caldari understand them, because gallente are all about love
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Boost T2 Plate HP! |
keepiru
Supernova Security Systems
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Posted - 2007.01.14 21:58:00 -
[52]
Originally by: Yblarbo Janks
Janks sees a redundant theme with the Gallante's joke "Caldari Prime"
Anything more than a couple words makes their heads hurt!
We keep them simple so caldari understand them, because gallente are all about love
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Boost T2 Plate HP! |
Sandzibarr
A.W.M
Ka-Tet
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Posted - 2007.01.14 22:26:00 -
[53]
the domi ship model....
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Kehmor
Caldari
PAK
Shroud Of Darkness
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Posted - 2007.01.14 22:48:00 -
[54]
Q)Whats the difference between a Corvus and a pile of dead Gallente?
A)I don't have a Corvus in my hanger.
Q)Why does the Hyperion have guns mounted on the back?
A)So the Gallente can shoot while running away.
Q)What do you say to a minmatar in uniform?
A)Could I have fries with that.
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Hoshino Rika
Caldari
Rave Technologies Inc.
Ion Core
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Posted - 2007.05.17 11:07:00 -
[55]
You heared that Ammarian abolished death penalty for female slaves?
They make them marry male Ahura instead.
"Do you not see that if we kill him with the pill from the till by making with it the drug in the jug, you need not light the candle with the handle on the gateau from the chateau!"
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Voulture
Caldari
GBTeam
Ion Core
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Posted - 2007.05.17 11:54:00 -
[56]
Edited by: Voulture on 17/05/2007 11:53:43
Rika, honey, keep silent and come back to the kitchen :P
~~
Great jokes ;)
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Roshan longshot
Gallente
Ordos Humanitas
FREGE Alliance
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Posted - 2007.05.17 12:04:00 -
[57]
Whats the deffrence between a Domi BS and a Caldari pilot?
Not everyone has been in a Domi.
Why are most Caldari bald?
Because they are true blonds.
Free-form Professions, ensure no limetations on professions. Be a trader, fighter, industialist, researcher, hunter pirate or mixture of them all.
[i]As read from the original box.
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Windryder
Caldari
Dummy Corp
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Posted - 2007.05.17 12:31:00 -
[58]
A Caldari was showing-off his family's fabled Talocan War Announcer to an Amarr friend.
During their conversation the box started playing music; a sorrowful, lilting masterpiece worthy of a state funeral filled the room and both of them them fell silent.
The Amarr, a tear in his eye from the haunting, emotional evocation, asked his friend what it meant.
The Caldari replied that the Talocan War Announcer did that whenever the Gallente lost a battle.
Curious, the Amarr asked what it did when the Gallente won a battle.
The Caldari frowned and admitted that he didn't know, as the relic had only been in his family for a few generations.
\\'
"Never underestimate the power of a n00b to blunder through a dangerous situation unharmed and obliviously unaware." |
Jenny Spitfire
Caldari
Requiem of Hades
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Posted - 2007.05.17 12:34:00 -
[59]
I find these jokes too degrading on the Gallente. Shame on you, you big Caldari bully.
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Technica impendi Caldari generis. Pax Caldaria!
Kali is for KArebearLIng.
I 100% agree with Avon.
Female EVE gamers? Mail Zajo or visit WGOE.Public in-game. |
KaiDoh Maru
Brutor tribe
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Posted - 2007.05.17 13:06:00 -
[60]
Edited by: KaiDoh Maru on 17/05/2007 13:04:51
Ok, there is a Gallente Pilot, a Caldari Bussinessman, an Amarr Priest and a retired Matari warrior going to a meeting in a transporter and at one point the Pilot says: we have two problems
1. the ship is about to explode
2. we only have 3 escape pods
So the Caldari says : I have a business to run and many ppl depend on me.. and jumps in a pod
then the Amarrian says: the Amarr are the highest expression of Gods creation, so I should be saved.. and jumps in
the old Matari turns to the Gallente Pilot.. go and save yourself boy, I've seen enough
battles and regret nothing; the Pilot responds:
don't worry we'll both be saved.. the highest expression of Gods creation just jumed out of the airlock
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