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Yblarbo Janks
Caldari
Veto.
Veto Corp
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Posted - 2007.01.13 00:49:00 -
[1]
Yblarbo Janks here! I have visited the bathrooms in Sobieski and collected a few jokes from the bathroom stalls!
Enjoy!
A Gallante pilot went to a dock worker and asked, "Can you build me a box that is two fingerlenghts high, two fingerwidths wide, and hmmm. Bout as long as a Thorax?"
"Hmm..." mused the Dock Worker. "It could be done, I suppose, but what would you want a box like that for?"
"Well, you see," said the Gallante, "my corp mate moved away and forgot some things, so he asked me to send him his rubber coolant hose."
---
A Gallente miner was walking down the space station corridor carrying a brown paper bag. He ran into one of his buddies, who asked,
"Hey! What's in the bag?"
The man tells his friend that he has some fish in the bag. His friend says,
"Well, I'll make you a bet. If I can guess how many fish you have in the bag, you'll have to give me one."
The Gallente says, "I'll tell you what. If you tell me how many fish I have in this bag, I'll give you both of them."
--------------
A popular bar had a new robotic bartender installed. A guy came in for a drink and the robot asked him, "What's your IQ?" The man replied, "130." So the robot proceeded to make conversation about physics, astronomy, and so on.
The man listened intently and thought, "This is really cool." Another guy came in for a drink and the robot asked him, "What's your IQ?" The man responded, "120." So the robot started talking about the Alliance Competition, Planetary Vehicles, and so on.
The man thought to himself, "Wow, this is really cool." A third guy came in to the bar. As with the others, the robot asked him, "What's your IQ?" The man replied, "80." The robot then said, "So, how are things in Gallente Space these days?"
------------------
These two Gallente mechanics are building a Vexor. One of them is putting on the armor. He picks up a rivot, hammers it in. Picks up another rivot, throws it away. Picks up a rivot, hammers it in. Picks up another, throws it away.
This goes on for a while, and finally his friend comes over and asks him why he is throwing half of the rivots away. He replies, "Those ones were pointed on the wrong end." The buddy gets exasperated and says "You idiot, those are for the other side of the ship!"
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Gallente Iteron IV was descending for a landing at an Jita Station they had never been to before. The pilot looked out the windshield and suddenly exclaimed to his copilot, "Holy Stuff! Look how short that runway is! I've never seen one so short!"
The copilot looked out the windshield. "Wow! you're right! That's insane! Are you sure we can make it?" "Well we better, were almost out of fuel."
So the captain got on the intercom and notified the station to prepare for an emergency landing. Then he set the flaps to full down and slowed the ship to just over stall speed.
The Iteron came screaming in, on the ragged edge of control. The pilot's hands were sweating, the copilot was praying. They touched down and came screeching to a halt JUST before the edge of the runway, the tires smoking. "Whew! That was close!" yelled the captain." That runway was short!" "Yeah!" said the copilot," and wide too!"
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Three Pirates, a Minmatar, a Caldari, and a Gallente, are scheduled to be executed by firing squad. They bring out the Minmatar and stand him in front of the pole.
He points and shouts, "Electrial Short!" They all look and the Minmatar runs away. Next, they place the Caldari in front of the firing squad.
He yells "Spacial Rift!" They all hit the dust and the Caldari escapes.
Next up is the Gallente. He looks around and shouts "Fire!"
-----------
Did you hear about the Gallente Admiral who wanted to be buried at sea when he died? Five of his men died digging his grave.
-----------
Did you hear about the Gallente Loan Shark? He lends out the money then skips town.
Ha, Hope you loved em!
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Admai Sket
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Posted - 2007.01.13 00:51:00 -
[2]
OMGgeniusIloveyouwhydidn'tIthinkofthisfirst!
BRING SHARKY AND GEORGE TO DVD |
Nex Angelus
Caldari
Hypherians
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Posted - 2007.01.13 01:03:00 -
[3]
Hahaha... You evil man, made me laugh out loud at work. Now my colleagues are wodering what the heck I'm up to.
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Abye
Caldari
UNITED STARS ORGANISATION
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Posted - 2007.01.13 01:16:00 -
[4]
Good ones 
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Lobo13
Gallente
Beyond-Redemption
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Posted - 2007.01.13 01:24:00 -
[5]
I don't get it.
Your bound to get dirty when you party naked. |
Korad Konstentyn
Shadowdancers Digital Press
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Posted - 2007.01.13 01:27:00 -
[6]
huh, y'know, we tell pretty similar jokes down here in Gallente space, but about the amarr
ahhh, vive les differences!
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Samirol
Turbulent
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Posted - 2007.01.13 01:29:00 -
[7]
 Originally by: Lobo13
I don't get it.
Tier 2 BS Lotto
Contact mach'ett3 for all your sig needs
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Nex Angelus
Caldari
Hypherians
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Posted - 2007.01.13 01:29:00 -
[8]
Originally by: Lobo13
I don't get it.
Classic
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Kunming
Outcasts
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Posted - 2007.01.13 01:32:00 -
[9]
Originally by: Yblarbo Janks
--------------
Three Pirates, a Minmatar, a Caldari, and a Gallente, are scheduled to be executed by firing squad. They bring out the Minmatar and stand him in front of the pole.
He points and shouts, "Electrial Short!" They all look and the Minmatar runs away. Next, they place the Caldari in front of the firing squad.
He yells "Spacial Rift!" They all hit the dust and the Caldari escapes.
Next up is the Gallente. He looks around and shouts "Fire!"
-----------
ROFL, my favourite.. that was all good fun
Quote:
READ THIS NEXT PART CAREFULLY AS IT IS VERY IMPORTANT AND POSTING A REPLY WITHOUT READING IT MAY RESULT IN YOU LOOKING STUPID.
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Petite Pierre
Cutting Edge Incorporated
RAZOR Alliance
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Posted - 2007.01.13 01:46:00 -
[10]
Originally by: Lobo13
I don't get it.
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Sessho Seki
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Posted - 2007.01.13 02:35:00 -
[11]
Isn't the thread title "Gallente Jokes!" redundant?
That's like saying "Minmatar Whiners", the two words mean the same thing.
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Sessho Seki
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Posted - 2007.01.13 02:35:00 -
[12]
Isn't the thread title "Gallente Jokes!" redundant?
That's like saying "Minmatar Whiners", the two words mean the same thing.
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Yblarbo Janks
Caldari
Veto.
Veto Corp
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Posted - 2007.01.13 02:40:00 -
[13]
Originally by: Lobo13
I don't get it.
Janks even wrote the jokes down slowly so you would not be rushed. Oh well.
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Yblarbo Janks
Caldari
Veto.
Veto Corp
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Posted - 2007.01.13 02:40:00 -
[14]
Originally by: Lobo13
I don't get it.
Janks even wrote the jokes down slowly so you would not be rushed. Oh well.
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Kanuo Ashkeron
Eve Defence Force
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Posted - 2007.01.13 02:45:00 -
[15]
Edited by: Kanuo Ashkeron on 13/01/2007 02:43:39
In contrast to "caldari jokes", "gallente jokes" fit on one page :)
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Kanuo Ashkeron
Eve Defence Force
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Posted - 2007.01.13 02:45:00 -
[16]
Edited by: Kanuo Ashkeron on 13/01/2007 02:43:39
In contrast to "caldari jokes", "gallente jokes" fit on one page :)
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Culmen
Caldari
Gekidoku
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Posted - 2007.01.13 02:54:00 -
[17]
heres a joke i posted under my "how many ,.... does it take to screw in a light bulb"
How many gallente does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two, once they're done screwing in the dark
_____________________________________________________
Why do i even need a sig? |
Marcus TheMartin
Gallente
Tuxedo.
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Posted - 2007.01.13 03:38:00 -
[18]
In before every one takes every black joke they know and modifiy it for minmatar bashing
Best Dressed Corp of 2006 and 2007! -Marcus TheMartin
Marcus Thinks Eve who knew!? |
Audri Fisher
Caldari
The Keep
THE R0CK
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Posted - 2007.01.13 06:15:00 -
[19]
Originally by: Yblarbo Janks
Originally by: Lobo13
I don't get it.
Janks even wrote the jokes down slowly so you would not be rushed. Oh well.
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Corbin Devereux
Gallente
Federal Navy Academy
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Posted - 2007.01.13 09:02:00 -
[20]
Good thing i'm intaki. Those gallente sure are stupid.
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Hypo Psycho
Minmatar
Universal Army
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Posted - 2007.01.13 09:44:00 -
[21]
Originally by: Sessho Seki
Isn't the thread title "Gallente Jokes!" redundant?
That's like saying "Minmatar Whiners", the two words mean the same thing.
lol dont get me started on the amarr
"see you on the other side"
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Hin Vemere
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Posted - 2007.01.13 10:18:00 -
[22]
Edited by: Hin Vemere on 13/01/2007 10:17:35
Q. Why did the Deteis cross the road?
A. Because his superiors at Kaalakiota Corporation requested that he do so or suffer termination of contract.
Q. How many Caldari does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. However many as is stated in Wiyrkomi Corporation procedures manual #A5E7B (monitoring and replacement of standard State ceiling fittings, volume 1 of 15), no more and no less.
Q. How did the State Board of Directors recruit so many Caldari to fight and die against the Gallente Federation?
A. By upping their life insurance policies by 4.013%, thus making their deaths profitable.
Q. How do you confuse a Caldari?
A. By using funny animations and gentle humour in your corporate Powerpoint presentations.
Q. How does a Caldari rebel against his corporate leaders?
A. By clocking off 1.2 minutes early, and to hell with the consequences. The really reckless ones take an extra doughnut from the fridge.
Thankyou, I'll be here all night! |
Phoenix Mulderdart
Caldari
Starlancers
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Posted - 2007.01.13 10:49:00 -
[23]
Edited by: Phoenix Mulderdart on 13/01/2007 10:46:49
A Minnie, a Gallente and a Caldari discover a Sub-Space Etheral being. The being, named Brian, grants them each a task for him to fulfill.
Thie Minnie says "I wish that the Republics Fleet was the strongest in the Galaxy so that no-one would dare to attack us." The being clicked his etheral fingers and it was made so.
Next the Gallente; "I would like a defensive shield created around Gallente space, so strong and powerful that no weapon could penetrate it." Brian clicked his fingers and it was so.
Finally it was the Caldari's turn. "This defensive shield that they've requested. Does it stop weapons travelling both ways?". "Yes" replied Brian. "And does it have a flux co-efficient greater than 65.342%?" Asked the caldari. "Why yes, of course" Replied Brian.
The Caldari thought for a second the asked, "Any chance of filling it with anti-matter?"
Edit - for typo's
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Tommy TenKreds
Animal Mercantile Executive
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Posted - 2007.01.13 11:17:00 -
[24]
Originally by: Hin Vemere
Q. How did the State Board of Directors recruit so many Caldari to fight and die against the Gallente Federation?
A. By upping their life insurance policies by 4.013%, thus making their deaths profitable.
Originally by: Tyrrax Thorrk
Is there anything other than ISK you might be interested in? |
Atreides Horza
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Posted - 2007.01.13 11:18:00 -
[25]
An amarr pilot comes across a sub-spatial ethereal being fresh out of Jove space and is granted one wish only.
The amarr pilot thinks carefully, then hands the being a chip containing a 3D-starmap says:
"I want you to sketch out new borders and create a peace accord between all the major races of the known universe that will put an end to the centuries of war and bring prosperity to mankind."
The ethereal being scratches its non-existant head and says: "You know... I said you could wish for anything, but this might just be a tad out of my league. Isn't there another wish I can grant you?"
The amarr pilot answers promtly and hands the being a holopicture: "Well, then... This is my amarr wife, and I want you to make her into the most beautiful and sexy women in the known universe.
The ethereal being looks at the holopicture, obviously grief-stricken, and says quietly: "Yo man, hand me that starmap again, will ya?"
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Yukami Kido
Caldari
Adeptus Illuminati Aegis Authentica
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Posted - 2007.01.13 11:38:00 -
[26]
Pure genius all of them.
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Kunming
Outcasts
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Posted - 2007.01.13 11:40:00 -
[27]
Originally by: Atreides Horza
An amarr pilot comes across a sub-spatial ethereal being fresh out of Jove space and is granted one wish only.
The amarr pilot thinks carefully, then hands the being a chip containing a 3D-starmap says:
"I want you to sketch out new borders and create a peace accord between all the major races of the known universe that will put an end to the centuries of war and bring prosperity to mankind."
The ethereal being scratches its non-existant head and says: "You know... I said you could wish for anything, but this might just be a tad out of my league. Isn't there another wish I can grant you?"
The amarr pilot answers promtly and hands the being a holopicture: "Well, then... This is my amarr wife, and I want you to make her into the most beautiful and sexy women in the known universe.
The ethereal being looks at the holopicture, obviously grief-stricken, and says quietly: "Yo man, hand me that starmap again, will ya?"
*cough* points at portrait *cough*
Quote:
READ THIS NEXT PART CAREFULLY AS IT IS VERY IMPORTANT AND POSTING A REPLY WITHOUT READING IT MAY RESULT IN YOU LOOKING STUPID.
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Jarjar
Privateers
Privateer Alliance
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Posted - 2007.01.13 11:53:00 -
[28]
Originally by: Kunming
*cough* points at portrait *cough*
So, you're the amarr pilot's wife huh? 
-------
My posts reflect my own personal views.
I'm in this alliance for the fun, not for forum wars. |
Yblarbo Janks
Caldari
Veto.
Veto Corp
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Posted - 2007.01.13 16:21:00 -
[29]
A Gallante fighter walks into a bar with an old parrot on his shoulder. It had one eye bulging out, no feathers on the right wing, a broken beak that allowed saliva to slowly drip out of the side. Flies were circuling around it, as the smell was horrendous.
"Where did you find that nasty thing?!" Asked the bartender.
The Gallante replies, "In Caldari Space"
The Bartender replies "I was talking to the parrot."
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Great Artista
Veto.
Veto Corp
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Posted - 2007.01.13 16:27:00 -
[30]
Hahah
___________________________________
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ee21k
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Posted - 2007.01.13 16:33:00 -
[31]
There is only one Gallante joke: caldari (small c) prime!
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Verone
Veto.
Veto Corp
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Posted - 2007.01.13 17:28:00 -
[32]
I see Janks got out of his cell again...
Damn it... now we gotta buy more rubber wallpaper... 
NEWEST MOVIE : VETO FOR HIRE
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Kyreax
Gallente
Rising Sun Coalition
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Posted - 2007.01.13 17:37:00 -
[33]
I still don't get it.
---------------------------------------------------
Rising Sun Coalition is Recruiting! And...we don't smell funny like some other corps. |
Kharakan
Amarr
Morticus Impendium
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Posted - 2007.01.13 17:41:00 -
[34]
How do you get four gallentes to sit on a barstool?
Turn it upside down.
this signature space is claimed in the name of eris, haha I got to him first. neeneer
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James Snowscoran
Coreli Corporation
Corelum Syndicate
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Posted - 2007.01.13 18:56:00 -
[35]
Originally by: Kharakan
How do you get four gallentes to sit on a barstool?
Turn it upside down.
>.<
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Sessho Seki
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Posted - 2007.01.13 19:19:00 -
[36]
Originally by: Hypo Psycho
Originally by: Sessho Seki
Isn't the thread title "Gallente Jokes!" redundant?
That's like saying "Minmatar Whiners", the two words mean the same thing.
lol dont get me started on the amarr
As already stated, this is a joke thread, not a whine thread, Minmatar need only show up to fulfill the “on topic” requirement, however speaking Minmatar/Matarii (or whinese) isn’t a joke it’s just annoying.
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Mtthias Clemi
Gallente
Infinitus Odium
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Posted - 2007.01.13 19:54:00 -
[37]
I WILL DESTORY YOU!!!
Otherwise Bravo! *claps*
ok ok that was harsh, i dont hate mods.. as an apology the mod who shows the most wuv gets a free mercedes...
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Nate D
Naughty Ambitious Temptatious Endeavours
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Posted - 2007.01.13 19:55:00 -
[38]
Janks Janks!!!! Nate make joke on Gallente too! You write for Nate on bathroom stall!
------
So there were 3 pilots being chased by Concord; a Caldari, a Minmatar, and a Gallente. They all come zooming into a station with Customs on their tails and find solace in the petting zoo. The Caldari hides behind the cattle, the Minmatar behind the slave hounds, and the Gallente jumps behind the pile of dairy products. When the Concord pilots came in to look for the criminals they first searched by the cattle; to blend in the Caldari went "Moooo" and Concord decided that everything was normal and moved on. When they got to the slave hounds the Minmatar said "woof woof," again the patrol moved on. They were about to move past the dairy products when they heard a Gallente shouting "Dairy Dairy!"
Concord capped his ace!
-NÖ
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Voice Comms are Coming
...SoonÖ
[Click] |
keepiru
Supernova Security Systems
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Posted - 2007.01.13 20:10:00 -
[39]
Here's one:
caldari prime.
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Boost T2 Plate HP! |
Yblarbo Janks
Caldari
Veto.
Veto Corp
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Posted - 2007.01.13 22:56:00 -
[40]
Janks sees a redundant theme with the Gallante's joke "Caldari Prime"
Anything more than a couple words makes their heads hurt!
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Sessho Seki
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Posted - 2007.01.14 02:28:00 -
[41]
Originally by: Yblarbo Janks
Janks sees a redundant theme with the Gallante's joke "Caldari Prime"
Anything more than a couple words makes their heads hurt!
they are used to two word phrases mostly, like "I surrender!", "don't shoot!", and the always popular "run away!".
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ee21k
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Posted - 2007.01.14 04:29:00 -
[42]
Originally by: Sessho Seki
Originally by: Yblarbo Janks
Janks sees a redundant theme with the Gallante's joke "Caldari Prime"
Anything more than a couple words makes their heads hurt!
they are used to two word phrases mostly, like "I surrender!", "don't shoot!", and the always popular "run away!".
Whats that? Can't seem to hear you with all these sanctified remains of your deadlying around here. maybe if we toss a few in the garbage we will be able to hear your squeaking.
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Rollava Pollkin
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Posted - 2007.01.14 05:03:00 -
[43]
It has to be done.
Whew! That was close!" yelled the captain." That runway was short!" "Yeah!" said the copilot,
and wide too! |
Anfelina Adante
Gallente
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Posted - 2007.01.14 09:34:00 -
[44]
A Caldari, fed up with the harsh life imposed on him by his bosses, decides to leave Caldari space and comes to Gallente.
He docks at the first station he comes to and promptly makes his way to a bar.
Walking in he approaches the bartender and tells him his story and wants to know what he has to do to become an honorary Gallente.
The bartender informs him that he has to complete three tasks. Drink a quart of Ultra Quaffe with a lemon twist. Wrestle a Minmatar and win. Then find an Ammarian Noble woman and make mad passionate love with her.
The Caldari chugs the quart of Ultra Quaffe and then leaves. An hour later he comes back in, his clothes are a shambles and his face is black-and-blue.
He walks up to the bartender and says, 'Now, where is that Ammarian woman I'm supposed to wrestle?'
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Tommy TenKreds
Animal Mercantile Executive
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Posted - 2007.01.14 11:19:00 -
[45]
Q. How do you confuse a Minmatar miner?
A. Show him four mining lasers and tell him to take his pick.
__________
Q. How do you stop a Gallente from ejecting?
A. Don't target lock him.
__________
Q. How do you stop an Amarr from whining?
A. Remove local.
Originally by: Tyrrax Thorrk
Is there anything other than ISK you might be interested in? |
R34PER
|
Posted - 2007.01.14 11:51:00 -
[46]
Originally by: Phoenix Mulderdart
Edited by: Phoenix Mulderdart on 13/01/2007 10:46:49
A Minnie, a Gallente and a Caldari discover a Sub-Space Etheral being. The being, named Brian, grants them each a task for him to fulfill.
Thie Minnie says "I wish that the Republics Fleet was the strongest in the Galaxy so that no-one would dare to attack us." The being clicked his etheral fingers and it was made so.
Next the Gallente; "I would like a defensive shield created around Gallente space, so strong and powerful that no weapon could penetrate it." Brian clicked his fingers and it was so.
Finally it was the Caldari's turn. "This defensive shield that they've requested. Does it stop weapons travelling both ways?". "Yes" replied Brian. "And does it have a flux co-efficient greater than 65.342%?" Asked the caldari. "Why yes, of course" Replied Brian.
The Caldari thought for a second the asked, "Any chance of filling it with anti-matter?"
Hahahah that was the best one
Loved the other jokes too.
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Thurock Daynr
Caldari
Two Brothers Mining Corp.
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Posted - 2007.01.14 11:55:00 -
[47]
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Yblarbo Janks
Caldari
Veto.
Veto Corp
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Posted - 2007.01.14 17:09:00 -
[48]
Originally by: Anfelina Adante
A Caldari, fed up with the harsh life imposed on him by his bosses, decides to leave Caldari space and comes to Gallente.
He docks at the first station he comes to and promptly makes his way to a bar.
Walking in he approaches the bartender and tells him his story and wants to know what he has to do to become an honorary Gallente.
The bartender informs him that he has to complete three tasks. Drink a quart of Ultra Quaffe with a lemon twist. Wrestle a Minmatar and win. Then find an Ammarian Noble woman and make mad passionate love with her.
The Caldari chugs the quart of Ultra Quaffe and then leaves. An hour later he comes back in, his clothes are a shambles and his face is black-and-blue.
He walks up to the bartender and says, 'Now, where is that Ammarian woman I'm supposed to wrestle?'
Janks knew that story would come back to haunt him. 
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FMAR
Gallente
Cosmic research and production services
Sylph Alliance
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Posted - 2007.01.14 19:27:00 -
[49]
The gallente in me is amused but not happy. =)
good jokes.
**********
Certified roleplaying eve-couples counselor. It's never too late to save love.
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Kim Chee
Caldari
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Posted - 2007.01.14 20:12:00 -
[50]
So there are 4 prisoners in the hands of a Jovian death squad, one Minmatar, one Gallente, one Amarr, and one Caldari. The Jovian places a pistol in front of the Minmatar and says, "You are all to be executed. You may choose between a slow torture, or this pistol. However, we wish you to tell the galaxy of our mercy, so only three bullets are loaded."
The Minmatar picks up the gun and screams "I will be avanged!", blowing his brains across the table.
The Gallente looks at the gun, and runs screaming across the room, and the Jovian speaker grabs the gun and shoots him in the back.
The Amarr quietly says, "My God will not allow me to die." He picks up the gun, and the Caldari then says "Hey, if you give me 3/4 of the going price for that gun, I'll buy it from these guys."
The Amarr gives the Caldari some cash, and the Caldari then offers to buy the gun from the Jovians. Amused, they agree. The Caldari gets up and points the gun at his Amarr companion and says, "Now, if you'd just purchase the remaining bullet from me, we can get out of here."
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keepiru
Supernova Security Systems
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Posted - 2007.01.14 21:58:00 -
[51]
Originally by: Yblarbo Janks
Janks sees a redundant theme with the Gallante's joke "Caldari Prime"
Anything more than a couple words makes their heads hurt!
We keep them simple so caldari understand them, because gallente are all about love
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Boost T2 Plate HP! |
keepiru
Supernova Security Systems
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Posted - 2007.01.14 21:58:00 -
[52]
Originally by: Yblarbo Janks
Janks sees a redundant theme with the Gallante's joke "Caldari Prime"
Anything more than a couple words makes their heads hurt!
We keep them simple so caldari understand them, because gallente are all about love
----------------
Boost T2 Plate HP! |
Sandzibarr
A.W.M
Ka-Tet
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Posted - 2007.01.14 22:26:00 -
[53]
the domi ship model....
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Kehmor
Caldari
PAK
Shroud Of Darkness
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Posted - 2007.01.14 22:48:00 -
[54]
Q)Whats the difference between a Corvus and a pile of dead Gallente?
A)I don't have a Corvus in my hanger.
Q)Why does the Hyperion have guns mounted on the back?
A)So the Gallente can shoot while running away.
Q)What do you say to a minmatar in uniform?
A)Could I have fries with that.
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Hoshino Rika
Caldari
Rave Technologies Inc.
Ion Core
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Posted - 2007.05.17 11:07:00 -
[55]
You heared that Ammarian abolished death penalty for female slaves?
They make them marry male Ahura instead.
"Do you not see that if we kill him with the pill from the till by making with it the drug in the jug, you need not light the candle with the handle on the gateau from the chateau!"
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Voulture
Caldari
GBTeam
Ion Core
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Posted - 2007.05.17 11:54:00 -
[56]
Edited by: Voulture on 17/05/2007 11:53:43
Rika, honey, keep silent and come back to the kitchen :P
~~
Great jokes ;)
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Roshan longshot
Gallente
Ordos Humanitas
FREGE Alliance
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Posted - 2007.05.17 12:04:00 -
[57]
Whats the deffrence between a Domi BS and a Caldari pilot?
Not everyone has been in a Domi.
Why are most Caldari bald?
Because they are true blonds.
Free-form Professions, ensure no limetations on professions. Be a trader, fighter, industialist, researcher, hunter pirate or mixture of them all.
[i]As read from the original box.
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Windryder
Caldari
Dummy Corp
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Posted - 2007.05.17 12:31:00 -
[58]
A Caldari was showing-off his family's fabled Talocan War Announcer to an Amarr friend.
During their conversation the box started playing music; a sorrowful, lilting masterpiece worthy of a state funeral filled the room and both of them them fell silent.
The Amarr, a tear in his eye from the haunting, emotional evocation, asked his friend what it meant.
The Caldari replied that the Talocan War Announcer did that whenever the Gallente lost a battle.
Curious, the Amarr asked what it did when the Gallente won a battle.
The Caldari frowned and admitted that he didn't know, as the relic had only been in his family for a few generations.
\\'
"Never underestimate the power of a n00b to blunder through a dangerous situation unharmed and obliviously unaware." |
Jenny Spitfire
Caldari
Requiem of Hades
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Posted - 2007.05.17 12:34:00 -
[59]
I find these jokes too degrading on the Gallente. Shame on you, you big Caldari bully.
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Technica impendi Caldari generis. Pax Caldaria!
Kali is for KArebearLIng.
I 100% agree with Avon.
Female EVE gamers? Mail Zajo or visit WGOE.Public in-game. |
KaiDoh Maru
Brutor tribe
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Posted - 2007.05.17 13:06:00 -
[60]
Edited by: KaiDoh Maru on 17/05/2007 13:04:51
Ok, there is a Gallente Pilot, a Caldari Bussinessman, an Amarr Priest and a retired Matari warrior going to a meeting in a transporter and at one point the Pilot says: we have two problems
1. the ship is about to explode
2. we only have 3 escape pods
So the Caldari says : I have a business to run and many ppl depend on me.. and jumps in a pod
then the Amarrian says: the Amarr are the highest expression of Gods creation, so I should be saved.. and jumps in
the old Matari turns to the Gallente Pilot.. go and save yourself boy, I've seen enough
battles and regret nothing; the Pilot responds:
don't worry we'll both be saved.. the highest expression of Gods creation just jumed out of the airlock
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Toth Ruk
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Posted - 2007.05.17 13:22:00 -
[61]
A Gallente, Minmitar and a Caldari are all captured by Mordus Headhunters and taken to the Mordus banquet hall where a huge feast is being prepared.
The Gallente asks what they are having for dinner. The chief Mordus looks at the three and shouts "You are the feast tonight! You, Gallente, you will be boiled in oil and served with a side of fries!"
The Gallente screams and faints.
"You, Caldari!" The headhunter shouts, "You will be baked into pies and your head will sit upon our table as decoration."
The Caldari checks for escapes, sees none, estimates his probability of survival at 0.00341% and resigns himself to his fate.
"And you, Minmitar, we will peel your skin off your living flesh and make a hide boat from it!"
The Minmitar quickly grabs up a fork from the banquet table and starts stabbing himself with it repeatedly.
"Yeah?" the Minmitar shouts, "I got your boat right here!"
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Vantoth
Gallente
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Posted - 2007.05.17 13:50:00 -
[62]
Edited by: Vantoth on 17/05/2007 13:49:34
Do you know how to speak the Gallente prime language?
No?
How does it feel to be dumber than a Gallante?
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Hoshino Rika
Caldari
Rave Technologies Inc.
Ion Core
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Posted - 2007.05.17 16:17:00 -
[63]
Noone than gallente dont speak it anyway.:P
Why did gallente crossed the road?
He followed the chicken!
"Do you not see that if we kill him with the pill from the till by making with it the drug in the jug, you need not light the candle with the handle on the gateau from the chateau!"
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BluOrange
Gallente
Agony Unleashed
Agony Empire
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Posted - 2007.05.18 01:06:00 -
[64]
Originally by: Hoshino Rika
Noone than gallente dont speak it anyway.:P
Why did gallente crossed the road?
He followed the chicken!
On a related note:
Q: How do you stop a Caldari battleship commander from running away?
A: Teach him to pilot a warship.
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Agony Unleashed is recruiting. |
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