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Mad
Amarr
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Posted - 2007.01.27 01:43:00 -
[1]
Ok, theres a girl who I have been on and off with but really have always had strong feelings for her since we first got together. Would rather say I'm infatuated with her than say the L word, but it has popped in my mind when thinking about her... btw she's 4 years younger than me and hawt. ( I'm 23 )
Only problem is one of the times while we were split she met this dude and she has no inhibitions at all in talking about her relationships, she was tellin me how much she liked this new dude but he was moving ( approx 3000 miles away ), well after around 2 weeks after he was gone we started kinda gettin back together again it seemed like. And then she noticed some odd stuff
She was pregnant, by the other dude, that had just moved 3000 miles away. The only 2 people she had ever 'been with' was me and that dude. And before you start, yea I know 100% that it is his, there was around a month between when we split up the last time and when she got with that dude.
And like I said, I still have really strong feelings for her, and I dont know wtf to do... Should I **** off just because she's pregnant? And she has been trying to get back with me, just doing obvious things. And I dont even know how to act around her anymore... And I'm also kinda scared because I'm worried that she may just be wanting to get back with me again because she's pregnant, she wants someone to look after her and be with her, and it worries me that she just might be using me... My brothers saying not to get back with her and said 'she just wants a baby daddy' :D
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Benco97
Gallente Multiverse Corporation
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Posted - 2007.01.27 01:50:00 -
[2]
I can't tell you what to do but I can say what I would do in this situation.. I'd get back with her, be with her and the kid and eventually have another kid with her. Still, like I said, that's just me and I want to adopt.. so.. you know.. Anyway, whatever you do make sure it's what you feel happy with.
"MY GOD KEEP THIS AWAY FROM BENCO97!!!!!" - Constantine Arcanum |

Samuel Freedom
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Posted - 2007.01.27 01:52:00 -
[3]
Edited by: Samuel Freedom on 27/01/2007 01:50:51 Edited by: Samuel Freedom on 27/01/2007 01:49:34 Dude, The fact that your even questioning it give you the answer ..... If you was sure you would be sure and if your gonna bring up another man kid you'd better be sure 100% or it will be worse for everyone in the long run.
Do you want to bring up another dudes kid as your fiorst borne, I wpouldn't. I know alot of people will disagree with me maybe but im just gonna tell it like it is. Think of all them hard times to come with arguments and when the kid starts playin up when he/she old. It ALOT harder when it's not your own blood bro.
My verdict = You aint sure are you ? be gutted at losing the girl for a few months you'll find someone you will love and bring up a kid thats your toghther if thats what you want.
Don't do it. Plenty more fish in the sea.
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Cipher7
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Posted - 2007.01.27 02:02:00 -
[4]
Walk away.
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Mad
Amarr
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Posted - 2007.01.27 02:32:00 -
[5]
Originally by: Benco97 I can't tell you what to do but I can say what I would do in this situation.. I'd get back with her, be with her and the kid and eventually have another kid with her. Still, like I said, that's just me and I want to adopt.. so.. you know.. Anyway, whatever you do make sure it's what you feel happy with.
How old are you tho? Like I said I'm 23, she's 19... Dont really want kids while I'm in college.
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Ice Conch
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Posted - 2007.01.27 02:36:00 -
[6]
Originally by: Cipher7
Walk away.
im going with cipher here
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Benco97
Gallente Multiverse Corporation
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Posted - 2007.01.27 02:43:00 -
[7]
Originally by: Mad How old are you tho? Like I said I'm 23, she's 19... Dont really want kids while I'm in college.
Ahh well then, yes, if it's going to mess with things in such a way then it's best to do as the others say.
"MY GOD KEEP THIS AWAY FROM BENCO97!!!!!" - Constantine Arcanum |

Marcus TheMartin
Gallente Tuxedo.
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Posted - 2007.01.27 02:54:00 -
[8]
Originally by: Ice Conch
Originally by: Cipher7
Walk away.
im going with cipher here
Yeah walk away and never look back
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DeMundus
The Establishment Establishment
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Posted - 2007.01.27 03:09:00 -
[9]
Questining that gives you the answer, and you are only 23.
Besides lots of babes in College
-Dr. Love Abandon all hope But take care of teh cake!11 - Immy |

Asimov Andies
Gallente Red Blade Industries United Corporations of Eve
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Posted - 2007.01.27 03:20:00 -
[10]
I'd say walk away for 2 reasons.
1) you are 23, you don't want a kid at 23 unless you are financially sound and mature enough to deal with a kid. 2) she got knocked up at 19... I have a feeling that one is gonna be a cheater.
-=##=- Why are they shooting at us Captain? |

Kyguard
Fire Mandrill Curse Alliance
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Posted - 2007.01.27 04:02:00 -
[11]
Hmm tough situation. I'd consider an abortion, but that's just me. I know there are lot of people against it and since no one has suggested it, I don't think anyone is for it.
Tbh, you've got your entire life ahead of you. I've personally never been in your shoes where I had to make a choice between myself and someone else, so I really can't say. It's a critical decision, you gotta think about it long and hard.. if she ends up messing around at a later date then you will regret it very very much. -
WeComeInPeace Video |

Dreez
Destructive Influence Band of Brothers
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Posted - 2007.01.27 04:14:00 -
[12]
Ditch the *****. IŠve never been the forgiving type of dude. When i found out my girl had been fooling around, i threw her out with her head first. She cried, i didnt give a ****.
Ditch the *****, there will be others.
Bob farted, ASCN burped & then there was a nodecrash.
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dennyreborn
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Posted - 2007.01.27 05:31:00 -
[13]
i am going to be honest with you. you do have two choices.
1. Marry her raise the kid.
2. move one.
I lean toward advising number 2 in your case because like you said you hesitate to use the L wood. And she is talking about how much she "LIKED HIM". The Truth is neither of you are that into each other. You are lonely and She is scared.both such factors will fade in time and you will find your self married and with a baby to someone thats off and on again.
Go to the doctor with her and hear exactly how far along she is. I have a suspension she was more then a month along when she got back with you. If So she at least had a guess she was preg.
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Patch86
Di-Tron Heavy Industries Freelancer Alliance
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Posted - 2007.01.27 11:39:00 -
[14]
I would totally not take advice on the matter from an MMO community public forums 
Anyhow, I go with the "leave it" crowd. You're better off out of that mess. -----------------------------------------------
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Admai Sket
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Posted - 2007.01.27 11:48:00 -
[15]
You're asking the EVE population how to deal with this? Half the EVE Population don't know HOW to get someone pregnant, let alone deal with it! :P
I got my sig snipped again. Can someone make me a new one? |

Dario Wall
Caldari Deep Core Mining Inc.
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Posted - 2007.01.27 11:54:00 -
[16]
From what you have written, it looks like she is using you as someone to fall back on now that she's pregnant. The fact that you can not say you love her shows that you and her are not ready to be together. If she truly cared for your feelings she would not be bringing up her past relationship, and would have moved on.
Even though you say you are 100% certain the child is not yours, you may want to have a paternity test done to see if it really is his child or not. If it turned out to be yours and you didn't find out until after you were in a relationship with someone else, there's a very high chance that it would ruin the relationship.
Honestly though, you should spend a while thinking things through before making any major decision. It comes down to what you decide, not what a bunch of people on an online forum tell you to do.
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wierchas noobhunter
The Collective Against ALL Authorities
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Posted - 2007.01.27 11:56:00 -
[17]
I'm worried that she may just be wanting to get back with me again because she's pregnant, she wants someone to look after her and be with her, and it worries me that she just might be using me...
yes its true dont get back with her run run far away from her as u can
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Ebedar
Gallente Primary Intelligence
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Posted - 2007.01.27 12:39:00 -
[18]
Seems as though she only split up with the baby's father because he moved away. What if he moves back - where does that leave you and how will she respond?
Don't let your feelings for her cloud the issue. Unless you can be certain that she would choose you over him in any situation, you'll always have that doubt at the back of your mind. Relationships are built on trust - if you don't feel that now, it's unlikely to become better over time.
It sounds to me as though it would be better for you to move on now rather than further down the line when you're going to be more invested in the relationship. ~
ioctl |

Fellet
Amarr Delta team Lotka Volterra
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Posted - 2007.01.27 13:02:00 -
[19]
Edited by: Fellet on 27/01/2007 12:58:43 Walk away , like other people said here . She only came back to you becuase the other guy went 3k miles away or something . And i dont think you want to get your heart broken agian by the same chick.
+ she will cheat on you
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PanzerGrenadier
Caldari VentureCorp Imperial Republic Of the North
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Posted - 2007.01.27 13:03:00 -
[20]
Originally by: Ebedar Seems as though she only split up with the baby's father because he moved away. What if he moves back - where does that leave you and how will she respond?
Don't let your feelings for her cloud the issue. Unless you can be certain that she would choose you over him in any situation, you'll always have that doubt at the back of your mind. Relationships are built on trust - if you don't feel that now, it's unlikely to become better over time.
It sounds to me as though it would be better for you to move on now rather than further down the line when you're going to be more invested in the relationship.
$$$$ - This guy is right.
I'd leave.
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FooB2
Caldari Pre-nerfed Tactics
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Posted - 2007.01.27 13:35:00 -
[21]
wait until shes asleep, and then stick it in her ear.
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madaluap
Gallente Mercenary Forces Exquisite Malevolence
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Posted - 2007.01.27 14:27:00 -
[22]
This is why you should have save sex, kids
Dont get back with her, just a shame of your own life
_________________________________________________ Breetime
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Pisi Mopsu
Caldari Professional Interstellar Support Initiative
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Posted - 2007.01.27 15:02:00 -
[23]
Do not commit to being with her unless you are ready to commit to her and that child 100% for the long haul. That child will always be the other man's therefore he will always be a part of her life... no matter what. You need to sort out your feelings on your own, either way, before you commit. You need to hear what she wants flat out... open and honest... no assumptions.
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Admai Sket
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Posted - 2007.01.27 15:37:00 -
[24]
Originally by: madaluap This is why you should have save sex, kids
Save sex? Is that where you can go half way, save your progress, and come back later? or reload an old session that was really good?
I got my sig snipped again. Can someone make me a new one? |

Marcus TheMartin
Gallente Tuxedo.
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Posted - 2007.01.27 15:43:00 -
[25]
Originally by: Admai Sket
Originally by: madaluap This is why you should have save sex, kids
Save sex? Is that where you can go half way, save your progress, and come back later? or reload an old session that was really good?
Well in case you crash you can reboot and resume at where you left off 
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Ice Conch
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Posted - 2007.01.27 16:17:00 -
[26]
Originally by: Admai Sket You're asking the EVE population how to deal with this? Half the EVE Population don't know HOW to get someone pregnant, let alone deal with it! :P
im sure most people in eve know how to get someone pregnant, but to deal with it, just push her down the stairs 
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Yendri
Perkone
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Posted - 2007.01.27 17:02:00 -
[27]
my personal opinion is, if you've got to ask for opinions of what to do, it'll not work out in the long run. it takes a definate committment to be with her, knowing that in the next half year she's going to be going through a pretty tough time with a pregancy, and when that's over for her, as a couple, you've got a lifetime of raising a child, the entire time knowing its not yours.
one hell of a committment to give, and if you're not absolutely certain now... you may well live to regret it.
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Dau Imperius
Amarr
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Posted - 2007.01.27 17:12:00 -
[28]
Oi this is not really the forum to ask this. Nobody here is halfway qualified, let alone the fect our opinions mean jack sheeba.
If I were in your shoes, I'd move on. It's been covered why in these posts. But here's my two isk: 1.) She went and got pregneant with another bloke in the space of 1 month? Future cheater. 2.) The bloke could come back into her and life and then what? The child isn't yours, it's her to deal with in the way she feels is right (Abortion, whatever) 3.) Do not put any blame or guilt on yourself. That's a trap you'll never dig yourself out of. She did it all by herself. I'm not seeing any love if she goes and wonders that quick after you split.
Walk away. This is between her and her stupid choice of a bloke that got her pregnant.
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westernstab
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Posted - 2007.01.27 17:19:00 -
[29]
Originally by: Dario Wall
Even though you say you are 100% certain the child is not yours, you may want to have a paternity test done to see if it really is his child or not. If it turned out to be yours and you didn't find out until after you were in a relationship with someone else, there's a very high chance that it would ruin the relationship.
No way most states if you can go for 2 years with her claiming you as a the father will not force a paternity test or make you to pay child support if she changes her toon. besides at that point it is easy to tell your new GF the her with a kid is crazy the courst have already ruled i am not the father.
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Doctor Fruitloop
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Posted - 2007.01.27 17:33:00 -
[30]
I dont know where you live so what i say should be taken with a pinch of salt. Get the test done, is it yours. Suggest that if she wants to have the child, she should move to where the father is, i presume that the only reason she broke up with him was because he moved. It may put it into perspective, that if you stay with her, there are more than triple the years ahead of you in life than there is behind, are you able to deal with this, an old saying, "in for a penny, in for a pound". Ultimately, its your decision, not hers or the guy she broke up with.
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