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Gikanzin
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Posted - 2007.01.27 19:16:00 -
[31]
Well all I can say is that if you can't make a choice from all the information you got on the forums provided by these kind ladies and gents. Maybe you should ask a Dev or a GM for a fix, maybe?
Sorry but it seems that they have said it all, also you will have to think about "If she will contact the other guy issue about the baby" if she does then where would you come in?
I'm not saying that you should be some evil bastard and just dump her there alone with no one close to be there for her, but it seems to me that you should'nt be making this choice alone and the 2 of you need to be on the same page.
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Sereifex Daku
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Posted - 2007.01.27 19:39:00 -
[32]
I guess persuading her to get an abortion isn't an option here? If she's ok with it then advise her to do it, not for the sole purpose of getting back with you, but simply because the kid will ruin her life, she will have to work very hard to raise that kid by herself. If she does this then get back with her.
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Tiolincan
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Posted - 2007.01.27 20:12:00 -
[33]
Originally by: Sereifex Daku If she does this then get back with her.
What you said here sound like what the devil might say. And if you are him, can I get my soul back? 
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Look'Down On'You
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Posted - 2007.01.27 21:29:00 -
[34]
We need pictures of this 'hawt' girl. Depending on how thick your beer-goggles need to be, I say you should stay with her and raise the kid. Then in 10 years or so you can train the kid to haul your ore.
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Juwi Kotch
Gallente VIRTUAL LIFE VANGUARD
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Posted - 2007.01.27 21:29:00 -
[35]
It's been said before: You putting this question up here is reason enough to let her go.
If you would be absolutely sure that you love her, and proud and eager to shout that out to the world, then you two could have chance.
She just being "hawt" is the least important reason to stay with her.
Juwi Kotch
JOIN NOW, KLICK SIG! |

Sereifex Daku
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Posted - 2007.01.28 02:53:00 -
[36]
Originally by: Tiolincan
Originally by: Sereifex Daku If she does this then get back with her.
What you said here sound like what the devil might say. And if you are him, can I get my soul back? 
I get asked this a lot. Look, when I made you sign the contract in your own blood, and when I laughed uncontrollably after you did, didn't that tell you that there would be no backsies? 
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Araxmas
Black Lance Against ALL Authorities
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Posted - 2007.01.28 17:12:00 -
[37]
Simple solution..
Wait till she's asleep Get a coat hanger Remove the baby Problem solved --------
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Aayan
Beagle Corp
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Posted - 2007.01.28 18:07:00 -
[38]
Do not get back with her. This sounds like you are trying to rescue her and using what sounds like a lack of options to decide to stay with her... I know when I was in my first big relationship I took everything so seriously and way too soon. I realize this is prolly not your first big relationship but maybe it is? The fact that you two are so off again on again is not what you want when you have a kid. She is the one who got pregnant with that other guys kid. Think about this:
-You are in college -Just a guess but money prolly isn't pouring in -She is only 19!!!! -Good chance she is getting so close because of the pregnancy -She was never steady with you to begin with! -Did I mention she is 19?!?!?!?
I know how it feels to a degree. I used to be very good friends with this one particular girl who was extremely kind and beautiful. We would hang out all the time. Now she hasn't gotten pregnant but she started going on an off with this one guy for over a year and it started turning into us hanging out so that we could "talk" about them... hum... I don't know about you but I don't like the idea of being used. Crap would go down and guess who would get a call to bail her out... yeah I don't want to be here person go-to buddy. Needless to say we barely ever talk, I pretty much avoid her.
This may seem heartless but talk to anyone that has been in a similar situation and gone down the path you are considering and ask them how they feel. I bet almost all of them would change their mind if they could have the chance. Money is a huge deal. When people get married and there is so much "love" going around topics like money are avoided because it is heartless... I mean this is love no? Ha! All of a sudden little things start to creep up... I need this I need more of that... money plays a huge part in your life there is just no way to avoid it.
Honestly she was never stable with you... only left the other guy cause he moved... and now that she is pregnant she wants you! Let me guess she has told you over and over how it isn't like that and how awesome you make her feel... she is rebounding to a comfort zone and will suck you dry before you even know it! -Steve
- B E A G L E C O R P - |

Denrace
Amarr Viziam
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Posted - 2007.01.28 18:25:00 -
[39]
A kid is one of the biggest and most important things that will ever happen to anyone.
If you arent 100% sure you want that kind of shared responsibility, I'd walk away - but in a nice way of course.
A potentially unhappy and akward relationship is not something to be a part of.
Best of luck either way.
Den ________________________________________
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madaluap
Gallente Mercenary Forces Exquisite Malevolence
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Posted - 2007.01.28 18:30:00 -
[40]
Originally by: Marcus TheMartin
Originally by: Admai Sket
Originally by: madaluap This is why you should have save sex, kids
Save sex? Is that where you can go half way, save your progress, and come back later? or reload an old session that was really good?
Well in case you crash you can reboot and resume at where you left off 
Nah you can go back 1 minute before she got pregnant (auto save F T W) and than abort session and get yourself one of these. 
Yes repeating the best parts is possible aswell, so you can skip 1 hour of foreplay. _________________________________________________ Breetime
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Araxmas
Black Lance Against ALL Authorities
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Posted - 2007.01.28 18:35:00 -
[41]
Originally by: madaluap
Originally by: Marcus TheMartin
Originally by: Admai Sket
Originally by: madaluap This is why you should have save sex, kids
Save sex? Is that where you can go half way, save your progress, and come back later? or reload an old session that was really good?
Well in case you crash you can reboot and resume at where you left off 
Nah you can go back 1 minute before she got pregnant (auto save F T W) and than abort session and get yourself one of these. 
Yes repeating the best parts is possible aswell, so you can skip 1 hour of foreplay.
What if it starts to not to respond. How do we ctrl alt del? --------
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TheFirstInquisitor
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Posted - 2007.01.28 19:01:00 -
[42]
Ctr+ALT+Delete Gain control. Do the alternative methods. Finaly, delete.
Note to all, What I say may be infact of a more humorous tone than comes accross. |

Lacrimae
Gallente LFC Lotka Volterra
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Posted - 2007.01.28 19:14:00 -
[43]
Edited by: Lacrimae on 28/01/2007 19:10:34 This coming from a girl:
Run away. Come back in a few years, if you're both still interested, fine, start again, else you'll just realize it wasn't what you thought it was. She has nfc what she's doing, what she wants etc; and she'll only end up wiping her feet on you some more (even if that's not what she's intending to do) if you let her.
Dead Stars Still Burn
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voogru
Gallente Massive Damage
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Posted - 2007.01.28 23:15:00 -
[44]
To those suggesting an abortion, yes. Let's kill a child because someone made a mistake. What a great idea! 
I'd put it up for adoption.
As for the girl, I'd run.
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Mad
Amarr
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Posted - 2007.01.28 23:20:00 -
[45]
Originally by: voogru To those suggesting an abortion, yes. Let's kill a child because someone made a mistake. What a great idea! 
I'd put it up for adoption.
As for the girl, I'd run.
Btw her parents are telling her to get an abortion, she's not.
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Kehmor
Caldari PAK
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Posted - 2007.01.28 23:45:00 -
[46]
All these people saying to walk away make me sick. Stay with her for the next 6 or 7 months, then walk away.
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Dmian
Gallente Starline Engineering Corporation
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Posted - 2007.01.29 00:02:00 -
[47]
Listen to your brother. He's your family, he loves you and care for you. His advice is the best you have. Also, ask your parents about the issue. Your family will give you the best advice. Regards.
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Ranar Estraad
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Posted - 2007.01.29 00:44:00 -
[48]
I'm going to toss my few cents in here just because this is something that hits rather close to home.
I was in something almost exactly the same. I'm 23 and my first girlfriend and I were together for 3 years, and near the end became something of an on-again-off-again deal. Annoying, to be sure. Anyways, We broke up and her biological clock kicked into overdrive. Hooked up with a guy from work, dated for two months, engaged, married four months later, squirted out a daughter nine months after that. Then had an affair with a mutual ex-friend of ours, divorced moved out with the child into the new guys house, and wouldn't you know it, five months later guess who doesn't want anything to do with her anymore? The ex-friend. So now she is living in his house with the guy who doesn't give her enough attention ad can't move out because she hasn't enough money...and just GUESS who she regains contact with?
I'll give you a hint: ME
I hear her woes of being a single mother in a house with the guy who doesn't LOVE her, but doesn't mistreat her. Just behaves like her friend. Now she says she doesn't like trying to date other guys and, and I quote, "wants something familiar, something comfortable." Because the new guys bolt when they find out she has a kid I guess. (she's 22 which isn't THAT bad, but still)
I suggest you do what I did. I stil had feelings for her but like you I was debating it, which means that I know I shouldn't. Tell her you care for her, and still like her, but you're just not comfortable getting back into a relationship that was as unstable, and don't want to put yourself in that situation again.
Eventually it all comes down to whether or not the juice is worth the squeeze, metiphorically speaking.
P.S. Although, this may be your opprotunity to get some hot pregnant-sex. You're call.
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DR L337
Republic Military School
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Posted - 2007.01.29 00:57:00 -
[49]
Originally by: Cipher7
Walk away.
qft im afraid ___________________________________
I ART IN THINE ABODE BANGING THINE MUM |

Mad
Amarr
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Posted - 2007.01.29 00:57:00 -
[50]
Originally by: Ranar Estraad
P.S. Although, this may be your opprotunity to get some hot pregnant-sex. You're call.
Was waiting for someone to bring that up! 
like 5 buds of mine said "dude, get back with her for at least a couple weeks. pregnant chicks are horney as hell!" which kinda makes me wanna which is one of the main reasons im feelin kinda bad :P
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Carth Jared
Body Count Inc. Mercenary Coalition
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Posted - 2007.01.29 01:04:00 -
[51]
Edited by: Carth Jared on 29/01/2007 01:02:41
Originally by: Kehmor All these people saying to walk away make me sick. Stay with her for the next 6 or 7 months, then walk away.
Yes because walking away after the child is born is the solution... C'mon man :/
edit: Just occurred to me that you were prolly joking
If possible be there as a friend for her, but dont get too involved.
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Victor Valka
Caldari Archon Industries
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Posted - 2007.01.29 03:02:00 -
[52]
Everyone's using everyone. That's how this little piece of rock keeps spinning. Don't bash yourself for it and don't bash her. Or anyone else.
My suggestion: Like her? Coo! Stick with her, help her out, whatever. You can both benefit. Just don't get married, 'kay! Neither of you needs that ****. That should give you enough headway and make her understand that you are not gonna do everything for her and she'll still have to drag her weight.
No need to thank me. The cheque will be in the mail.
Originally by: Diana Marc Notice that BoB is agreeing with RA's concern. That's like Elrond and Sauron agreeing to reduce carbon emissions.
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Sereifex Daku
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Posted - 2007.01.29 03:13:00 -
[53]
Originally by: Mad
Originally by: Ranar Estraad
P.S. Although, this may be your opprotunity to get some hot pregnant-sex. You're call.
Was waiting for someone to bring that up! 
like 5 buds of mine said "dude, get back with her for at least a couple weeks. pregnant chicks are horney as hell!" which kinda makes me wanna which is one of the main reasons im feelin kinda bad :P
I don't know about you but the idea of having sex with a chick with a little person in her belly would freak me out, I'd imagine a little foetus laughing at my pathetic attempt to pleasure it's mummy 
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Fuh Q
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Posted - 2007.01.29 03:29:00 -
[54]
get rid of the *****, get a better one you can accually love
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Gealbhan
Caldari The Big Sky Corp
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Posted - 2007.01.29 06:19:00 -
[55]
Originally by: Mad Ok, theres a girl who I have been on and off with but really have always had strong feelings for her since we first got together. Would rather say I'm infatuated with her than say the L word, but it has popped in my mind when thinking about her... btw she's 4 years younger than me and hawt. ( I'm 23 )
Only problem is one of the times while we were split she met this dude and she has no inhibitions at all in talking about her relationships, she was tellin me how much she liked this new dude but he was moving ( approx 3000 miles away ), well after around 2 weeks after he was gone we started kinda gettin back together again it seemed like. And then she noticed some odd stuff
She was pregnant, by the other dude, that had just moved 3000 miles away. The only 2 people she had ever 'been with' was me and that dude. And before you start, yea I know 100% that it is his, there was around a month between when we split up the last time and when she got with that dude.
And like I said, I still have really strong feelings for her, and I dont know wtf to do... Should I **** off just because she's pregnant? And she has been trying to get back with me, just doing obvious things. And I dont even know how to act around her anymore... And I'm also kinda scared because I'm worried that she may just be wanting to get back with me again because she's pregnant, she wants someone to look after her and be with her, and it worries me that she just might be using me... My brothers saying not to get back with her and said 'she just wants a baby daddy' :D
My advice - run. No way I'd raise another mans kid. sounds to me like she's using your feelings against you. Listen to your brother, drop her like a bad habit, quick.
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Anatolius
Amarr PIE Inc.
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Posted - 2007.01.29 09:50:00 -
[56]
Originally by: Mad Like I said I'm 23, she's 19... Dont really want kids while I'm in college.
Correct.
Originally by: Mad she's pregnant, she wants someone to look after her and be with her, and it worries me that she just might be using me...
Also correct.
She gets impregnated by some dude who moves 3k miles away, and now she's looking for a provider. No offense, but a) a month and she gets knocked up - wtf?, b) birth control is inexpensive and very effective, c) in case of emergency, a small amount of money will take care of the problem. (Some religious and/or ethical objections may apply. )
Your brother saw it. Other people in this thread saw it. I'm merely posting to say it, because I see it too. Yeah, love, all those wonderful feelings and all that crap. Run dude - RUN. Load up on warp core stabs and inertial stabilizers. Warp to zero. Logoffski. Eject from your ship and spam warp to the nearest station.
In the words of the immortal Gandalf, "Fly, you fools!"
"If God be for us, whom can be against us?" |

Hypatia Iola
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Posted - 2007.01.29 10:26:00 -
[57]
I'm not sure what others have posted, but many of them seem kinda one-sided(that is to say, all the ones i read)
You need to ask yourself some questions:
1: am I capable of dealing with a child at this point in my life? (this is most likely a yes whether or not you know it)
2: Does it bother me that she was with this other guy?
3: does the biodad know about the kid?
4: If 3 is yes, is he going to help? if no, is she going to tell him?
5: do you trust her not to use you (this sounds iffy)
6: remember that when a woman finds out she's pregnant, it is a LIFE ALTERING THING, so have you considered that shock and worry may be fueling her behavior instead of a conscious desire to use you?
7: Last one here, you said you're infatuated, be honest about whether it's just that or someting more
Seriously man, this is not a small decision. One of my friends is with a girl who had a kid before she met him. They are doing very well (working on #3(2 his) now) and their relationship is strong. On the other hand, i've got friends who have had kids who i can't even deal with anymore because they are so thoroughly screwing up each others lives and the kids to boot. At the core of things you need to sit down and talk with her (big pain in the ass there) and find out what she wants, what you want, and where to go from there. This is definitely not just a "i'll take advice off the internet" kinda decision, and it affects more than just you.
Words of wisdom brought to you by: Ben, your lord and master.
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Mad
Amarr
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Posted - 2007.01.29 14:03:00 -
[58]
Originally by: Hypatia Iola I'm not sure what others have posted, but many of them seem kinda one-sided(that is to say, all the ones i read)
You need to ask yourself some questions:
1: am I capable of dealing with a child at this point in my life? (this is most likely a yes whether or not you know it)
2: Does it bother me that she was with this other guy?
3: does the biodad know about the kid?
4: If 3 is yes, is he going to help? if no, is she going to tell him?
5: do you trust her not to use you (this sounds iffy)
6: remember that when a woman finds out she's pregnant, it is a LIFE ALTERING THING, so have you considered that shock and worry may be fueling her behavior instead of a conscious desire to use you?
7: Last one here, you said you're infatuated, be honest about whether it's just that or someting more
Seriously man, this is not a small decision. One of my friends is with a girl who had a kid before she met him. They are doing very well (working on #3(2 his) now) and their relationship is strong. On the other hand, i've got friends who have had kids who i can't even deal with anymore because they are so thoroughly screwing up each others lives and the kids to boot. At the core of things you need to sit down and talk with her (big pain in the ass there) and find out what she wants, what you want, and where to go from there. This is definitely not just a "i'll take advice off the internet" kinda decision, and it affects more than just you.
Words of wisdom brought to you by: Ben, your lord and master.
When she found out, I was actually the first person she told, which also scares the hell out of me because why the **** would you go and tell your off and on ex that your pregnant before you tell your family and even the father.
And yea the father knows, his family doesnt know, but he knows and seems kinda just ignoring it.
Originally by: Anatolius
Originally by: Mad Like I said I'm 23, she's 19... Dont really want kids while I'm in college.
Correct.
Originally by: Mad she's pregnant, she wants someone to look after her and be with her, and it worries me that she just might be using me...
Also correct.
She gets impregnated by some dude who moves 3k miles away, and now she's looking for a provider. No offense, but a) a month and she gets knocked up - wtf?, b) birth control is inexpensive and very effective, c) in case of emergency, a small amount of money will take care of the problem. (Some religious and/or ethical objections may apply. )
Your brother saw it. Other people in this thread saw it. I'm merely posting to say it, because I see it too. Yeah, love, all those wonderful feelings and all that crap. Run dude - RUN. Load up on warp core stabs and inertial stabilizers. Warp to zero. Logoffski. Eject from your ship and spam warp to the nearest station.
In the words of the immortal Gandalf, "Fly, you fools!"
B. she was on it and didnt skip a day :P I asked.
And yea I know I've pretty much made up my mind not to get back with her and try to stay just friends 
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Araxmas
Black Lance Against ALL Authorities
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Posted - 2007.01.29 14:51:00 -
[59]
Originally by: voogru To those suggesting an abortion, yes. Let's kill a child because someone made a mistake. What a great idea! 
Hey we all know that a baby is only classified as LEGALLY human when its 14 years old. Any time before that you can kill it and say its abortion.
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Vari
Carbide Industries
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Posted - 2007.01.29 16:58:00 -
[60]
The fact that the baby is alive is not your, or the baby's own problem. It's the problem of it's mother and father. What they choose to do with it is their own thing. As long as the baby is alive, it has a rightful father who has abandoned it. And even if the baby is aborted, that says something about the mother who allowed such an operation.
The only available solution is to just leave her. I know it's hard and it definitely takes time, at minimum a year, to clearly see it from the viewpoint of your fellow EVE-ers.
You're 23, young and at your prime. Work on increasing your income (think EVE-wise with it's big numbers). Women love money among other things, so if a fine woman are your prime reason to be alive as it is with many males, get rich. (Well, don't do something you don't want to do for a living.) Lawyers, doctors and princes didn't get their beautiful, and possibly also intelligent, wife/wives because they're anything less than rich, now did they? There's millions of women out there, keep your eyes open.
However, if you're absolutely sure your ex is SUPREMELY beautiful, intelligent and overflowing with inner-beauty, even enough to forgive her for this transgression, welcoming her back would be the better answer. But chances are it isn't in this case.
Good luck mate 
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