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Author	Thread Statistics \| Show CCP posts - 2 post(s)
Ruri	Posted - 2007.03.05 02:46:00 - [61] Originally by: Altrex Stoppel Chuck Norris already plays EvE for an hour every day. First thing he does is kick everyone else off so he can mine Veldspar in peace. OMG yes thats funny
Aphotic Raven Gallente E X O D U S Imperial Republic Of the North	Posted - 2007.03.05 02:52:00 - [62] He would fly caldari like the sheep he is. Then realising that this didnt give him an unfair advantage... would immediately switch to nanophoon... Then realising that he is just crap to begin with... would pay a bunch of tards to let him pwn them and fraps it. And i believe he is currently in talks with The Minmitar *** Rights League.
Siege Minmatar Siegecraft Bounty Hunting	Posted - 2007.03.05 03:00:00 - [63] All ye of little faith. Chuck would not flt a so-called "Ship", he would fly the planet Amarr itself armed with weapons made of angry volcanoes that spew super-torpedoes made from the hulls of Titans. Take THAT you uppity Gallente.
Rudy Metallo Minmatar G.H.O.S.T	Posted - 2007.03.05 03:09:00 - [64] Cyvok logged off because Chuck Norris jumped in with an Ibis.
Thales Archon Gallente BOOM - Gotcha United Corporations of Eve	Posted - 2007.03.05 03:34:00 - [65] Chuck Norris know Derick
Richard Aiel Caldari The Funkstars Guild	Posted - 2007.03.05 04:46:00 - [66] Originally by: Ruri I think Jet Lee could take Chuck and we all know Bruce Lee could Bruce Lee did... in a movie.. he killed Chuck norris I saw it on Stephen Colbert lol looks around the restaurant then look at his mate "I wouldnt be greatly surprised if a little band came in and started playing hums the Star Wars Cantina theme"
Richard Aiel Caldari The Funkstars Guild	Posted - 2007.03.05 04:48:00 - [67] Originally by: Siege All ye of little faith. Chuck would not flt a so-called "Ship", he would fly the planet Amarr itself armed with weapons made of angry volcanoes that spew super-torpedoes made from the hulls of Titans. Take THAT you uppity Gallente. Thats what he calls a frigate. His main ship is called space.. ALL OF IT... looks around the restaurant then look at his mate "I wouldnt be greatly surprised if a little band came in and started playing hums the Star Wars Cantina theme"
prathe Minmatar Omega Enterprises Dusk and Dawn	Posted - 2007.03.05 05:08:00 - [68] chuck norris need's neither ship nor pod he can exist in space and can destroy entire fleets with his glare you have been warned
R0ot InNova Tech Inc Xelas Alliance	Posted - 2007.03.05 05:20:00 - [69] tbh if chuck norris played eve hed be a dev and flying a jovian ship while being a mix of all the races including jovian,
Kusotarre Cutting Edge Incorporated RAZOR Alliance	Posted - 2007.03.05 05:26:00 - [70] Considering that Chuck Norris is a warmongering religious fundamentalist IRL, It's a good bet he'd be an Amarr character.
Thor Xian Vertigo One E.A.R.T.H. Federation	Posted - 2007.03.05 06:12:00 - [71] Chuck Norris has every skill trained to level 6. _________________________ ~Thor Xian, Material Defender Got Corp?
Sheriff Jones	Posted - 2007.03.05 06:40:00 - [72] Well, since people seemed to like it...here's a few more There's no real downtime, it takes that long to log Chuck Norris's greatness in. Chuck Norris doesn't fly ships, he flies fits.(just sounded cool) Cynosure fields are places where Chuck Norris roundhoused a ship. Chuck Norris doesn't mine, he roundhouses a roid and picks up the pieces. The reason you can't get to jove space is the lack of jump gates. The reason for lack of jump gates is that the jove don't want Chuck Norris there. There are no Jove. Chuck Norris don't play that sh*t. Chuck Norris doesn't invent stuff, stuff comes to Chuck Norris. There are no ship losses due to lag, there are ship losses due to Chuck Norris. And finally...just before someone else mentions it... The only reason the war is still going on is that Chuck Norris hasn't speed-dialled Jack Bauer
Rocinantae The 5 Amigo's LLC. NxT LeveL	Posted - 2007.03.05 07:27:00 - [73] Two words...Nano Titan.
Nero Scuro Caldari Jejaikaro Corporation	Posted - 2007.03.05 08:14:00 - [74] Chuck Norris mines roids. And by 'mine' I mean 'shoot'. And by 'roids' I mean 'devs'. ___ Nice one CCP
Crydawner	Posted - 2007.03.05 08:34:00 - [75] Originally by: Nero Scuro Chuck Norris mines roids. And by 'mine' I mean 'shoot'. And by 'roids' I mean 'devs'. i <3 your sig.
Ramblin Man Empyreum	Posted - 2007.03.05 10:03:00 - [76] Edited by: Ramblin Man on 05/03/2007 10:03:02 For all the detractors, "Chuck Norris" jokes aren't actually funny because they're about Chuck Norris. They're funny because it's a recognized style -- think of it as a new "The Aristocrats." That said, my humble contributions @ 3AM, Downtime is actually just hampster recharging. The reason it lasts for an hour is because that's how long it takes for the hampsters to get over their shock and start running after seeing a Polaroid of Chuck Norris. One time a fedo tried to suckle Chuck Norris' right nipple, but it just scratched itself. Chuck Norris was ISD for a short while, but whenever he clicked the lock button he vaporized threads. Fleet lag does not come from the servers. Fleet lag comes from the echo of Chuck Norris' footsteps approaching your constellation. Chuck Norris thought about spawning a T2 BPO for himself, but made up his mind and roundhouse kicked the number on a T1 BPO. He ended up at T21. Chribba decided to mockingly name his Veldnaught "Chuck Norris," and is now the only player ever to lose a ship and be podded by a Veldspar gas cloud. Chuck Norris got the killmail. Reykjavfk used to be on the equator, but then Chuck Norris leaned against it. CCP's new releases aren't coded. They spring, fully formed and bug-free, from Chuck Norris' head. The post-patch problems are simply CCP struggling to keep the residual Norrisity from breaking the servers. Chuck Norris is the only player to have Polaris V and a full set of AURORA implants. AURORA was going to ban him, but he looked at them first. There was no email bug. Chuck Norris just forgot to log on and check everyone's inboxes for a while. Chuck Norris was invited to join m0o, but he didn't fly with n00bs. There is no CovOps Cloak or Cap Recharger II cartel. Chuck Norris just really likes cloaks and cap rechargers. Your subscription fees don't go to CCP: they go to Chuck Norris as tribute for using his middle name in the "City of God" chronicle. BoB doesn't go to war when SirMolle feels like it. They go to war when Chuck Norris is in a fightin' mood. There were Lvl 5 missions on CCP's internal servers as early as Castor. The only enemies were 1x Chuck Norris. CCP took them back to the drawing board because even invulnerability-flagged ships couldn't finish them. Chuck Norris remains the only man to ever take out a full MC contract against himself -- and win. And finally... ... honestly, I've got nothing left. Your turn.
Miss Anthropy	Posted - 2007.03.05 10:13:00 - [77] Edited by: Miss Anthropy on 05/03/2007 10:09:39 Originally by: Sheriff Jones The only reason the war is still going on is that Chuck Norris hasn't speed-dialled Jack Bauer Jack Bauer is the new Chuck Norris. Get with the program people. ------------ UNDERpants. Pants that go UNDER!
Ramblin Man Empyreum	Posted - 2007.03.05 10:22:00 - [78] Originally by: Miss Anthropy Edited by: Miss Anthropy on 05/03/2007 10:09:39 Originally by: Sheriff Jones The only reason the war is still going on is that Chuck Norris hasn't speed-dialled Jack Bauer Jack Bauer is the new Chuck Norris. Get with the program people. Jack Bauer is a neocon's wet dream. Chuck Norris is Thor's wet dream.
Sheriff Jones	Posted - 2007.03.05 10:35:00 - [79] Nice ones Ramblin, gave me a good fight there By the by...there is no CCP anymore, it's now CNP for Chuck Norris Productions.
Raquel Smith Caldari Freedom-Technologies	Posted - 2007.03.05 10:40:00 - [80] Originally by: Richard Aiel What race would he be... what ship would he fly... etc etc... What corp... Easy. Race = Caldari Ship = State Issue Raven Corp = State War Academy
Jaggeh Gallente Furious Angels	Posted - 2007.03.05 11:47:00 - [81] In eve chuck norris renamed his famous roundhouse kick to /heal 0 --------------------------------------- Furious Angels are recruiting Carpe Pugya Pyga - Seize the Buttocks
Dead Emperor Minmatar	Posted - 2007.03.05 11:56:00 - [82] If Chuck Norris played EVE, Samuel L Jackson would kick his ass. ♥ Minmatart ♥
UberDefDef Roving Guns Inc. RAZOR Alliance	Posted - 2007.03.05 12:12:00 - [83] lol@relating chuck norris with bob... BTW I like what cyvok said Bob attacked me because I won eve ( power crazed people)
Thundercat Doom Minmatar Melissa Jumpclones INC	Posted - 2007.03.05 12:28:00 - [84] Thought Chuck Norris and Christie Brinkley both were killed in a tragic Total Gym accident? But if they haven't been, would love to see it happen. -------------------- -------------------- Flamers are Lamers.
Cheyenne Shadowborn Caldari Citizens of E.A.R.T.H. E.A.R.T.H. Federation	Posted - 2007.03.05 13:01:00 - [85] Chuck Norris camps gate camps. -- CCP: PLEASE fix the forum software - thanks.
Daelin Blackleaf No Joy Corp Pride - Honor - Duty	Posted - 2007.03.05 13:30:00 - [86] "Norrisity" Thanks Rambling Man, I now have my word of the week.
Kather Amarr Evil Proctologists	Posted - 2007.03.05 13:34:00 - [87] Originally by: Miss Anthropy Edited by: Miss Anthropy on 05/03/2007 10:09:39 Originally by: Sheriff Jones The only reason the war is still going on is that Chuck Norris hasn't speed-dialled Jack Bauer Jack Bauer is the new Chuck Norris. Get with the program people. Exactly. If Jack Bauer was *** he'd be called Chuck Norris

Tirg Forum Moderator Interstellar Services Department	Posted - 2007.03.05 14:05:00 - [88] Originally by: Khatred Chuck Norris can't play Eve, he's still stuck in The Barrens chat. You win. forum rules

Thor Xian Vertigo One E.A.R.T.H. Federation	Posted - 2007.03.05 17:16:00 - [89] Originally by: Ramblin Man Originally by: Miss Anthropy Edited by: Miss Anthropy on 05/03/2007 10:09:39 Originally by: Sheriff Jones The only reason the war is still going on is that Chuck Norris hasn't speed-dialled Jack Bauer Jack Bauer is the new Chuck Norris. Get with the program people. Jack Bauer is a neocon's wet dream. Chuck Norris is Thor's wet dream. I don't remember inviting him to that convo. _________________________ ~Thor Xian, Material Defender Got Corp?
Ramblin Man Empyreum	Posted - 2007.03.05 19:56:00 - [90] Originally by: Cheyenne Shadowborn Chuck Norris camps gate camps. @ Thor: So many Thor's, so little time.

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