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Azirapheal
Amarr
kleptomaniacs
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Posted - 2007.06.13 12:06:00 -
[1]
Edited by: Azirapheal on 13/06/2007 12:17:50
Edited by: Azirapheal on 13/06/2007 12:17:39
Edited by: Azirapheal on 13/06/2007 12:10:27
Klepto EULA -
this contract is accepted upon termination of your ship/vessel/capsule/corpse and obligates you to smack/flame/give us your stuff if at any time you should accept our services. our services include the following terms; ransom, ganking, forum whoring, epeen enlargement but is not limited to the above terms.
you also agree to be terminated by kleptomaniac operatives if any of the following actions are performed; fitting WCS, travelling through losec, attacking a klepto member, being attacked by a klepto member, undocking, logging on, booting up your computer, connecting to the internet, waking up in the morning, going to sleep, going out for 5 minutes, being born. this is not intended to be an exhaustive list and also creates an obligation upon the consumer to; give us your stuff, empty your wallet into ours, cry on the forums about how uber we are and generally jsut give up on your worthless life (after contracting your soul to tiller).
klepto are not liable for any personal injury or death caused by; epeen waving, pwnage, your ingame death and any resulting actions thereof, including such accidents as electrocution caused by smashing your fist into your screen and other associated rage and frustration based incidents.
violation of the eula precludes you from any ransom, and will result in instant gankage no matter how much you plead although we will accept delivered pizza and booze as adequate compensation for violation.
Should a customer believe our terms are unfair or impractical, please call the klepto helpline for more information on
0870 D-I-E -N-O-O-B
 Originally by: CCP Wrangler
you're not supposed to feel like you're logging in to a happy, happy, fluffy, fluffy lala land filled with fun and adventures, that's what hello kitty online is for.
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Azirapheal
Amarr
kleptomaniacs
|
Posted - 2007.06.13 12:11:00 -
[2]
Edited by: Azirapheal on 13/06/2007 12:11:15
you should be smiling :) you got first on a klepto post :S
id say it was meant in jest, but its the truth hehe
EDITED original to allow people to actually read it, even if that is against the spirit of most eulas :P
Originally by: CCP Wrangler
you're not supposed to feel like you're logging in to a happy, happy, fluffy, fluffy lala land filled with fun and adventures, that's what hello kitty online is for.
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Azirapheal
Amarr
kleptomaniacs
|
Posted - 2007.06.13 12:15:00 -
[3]
Originally by: DubanFP
"insert smacktalk about Azirapheal's
mother here"
id say my mother was a saint, but i'd be lying... she gave birth to me 
Originally by: CCP Wrangler
you're not supposed to feel like you're logging in to a happy, happy, fluffy, fluffy lala land filled with fun and adventures, that's what hello kitty online is for.
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Azirapheal
Amarr
kleptomaniacs
|
Posted - 2007.06.13 12:40:00 -
[4]
pretty much, although being born also results in the same :P
Originally by: CCP Wrangler
you're not supposed to feel like you're logging in to a happy, happy, fluffy, fluffy lala land filled with fun and adventures, that's what hello kitty online is for.
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Azirapheal
Amarr
kleptomaniacs
|
Posted - 2007.06.13 13:20:00 -
[5]
hmmm im still in placid, only problems ive had lately is with players protecting macroers.... meh
Originally by: CCP Wrangler
you're not supposed to feel like you're logging in to a happy, happy, fluffy, fluffy lala land filled with fun and adventures, that's what hello kitty online is for.
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Azirapheal
Amarr
kleptomaniacs
|
Posted - 2007.06.13 14:54:00 -
[6]
might add that bit in keh, good idea.
although on a seriosu note. ALL corps fail to post all lossmails.
i do my best to post all of mine (and you can see my losses on the KB) since to be quite frank im not bothered.
and the eula isnt satire, or a bit of fun... its serious ;)
bloody bears
Originally by: CCP Wrangler
you're not supposed to feel like you're logging in to a happy, happy, fluffy, fluffy lala land filled with fun and adventures, that's what hello kitty online is for.
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Azirapheal
Amarr
kleptomaniacs
|
Posted - 2007.06.13 14:58:00 -
[7]
speaking of which we are running a 2 for one offer tonight, we will take your ship AND your life, at no extra cost
Originally by: CCP Wrangler
you're not supposed to feel like you're logging in to a happy, happy, fluffy, fluffy lala land filled with fun and adventures, that's what hello kitty online is for.
|
Azirapheal
Amarr
kleptomaniacs
|
Posted - 2007.06.13 15:26:00 -
[8]
oi, im not making strings of pointless threads thank you very much. this si if anything intended as some cnp satire based on the fact that we at klepto are professional forum "ladies of the night" it gave me a warm chuckle to think it up and i actually care enough about some satire to edit out my damned spelling mistax :P
Originally by: CCP Wrangler
you're not supposed to feel like you're logging in to a happy, happy, fluffy, fluffy lala land filled with fun and adventures, that's what hello kitty online is for.
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Azirapheal
Amarr
kleptomaniacs
|
Posted - 2007.06.13 15:37:00 -
[9]
Originally by: DarkElf
Originally by: Azirapheal
oi, im not making strings of pointless threads thank you very much. this si if anything intended as some cnp satire based on the fact that we at klepto are professional forum "ladies of the night" it gave me a warm chuckle to think it up and i actually care enough about some satire to edit out my damned spelling mistax :P
ok maybe i was a little harsh. i just see loads of posts from you calling ppl noobs etc and it's just a bit much for me that's all.
i see so many ppl coming on these forums who are new and make about 20 threads in their first week and think they can tell everyone they are the best pirate ever etc and call everyone noobs. forums smack ftl.
not saying u have done all this but u are guilty of some.
DE
i rarely merely call people noobs, especially where i find a large diatribe on how much they suck hurts them more :P
and fyi azi may be a year and 2 months old, but my trading char has been around for alot longer ;)
rawr
Originally by: CCP Wrangler
you're not supposed to feel like you're logging in to a happy, happy, fluffy, fluffy lala land filled with fun and adventures, that's what hello kitty online is for.
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Azirapheal
Amarr
kleptomaniacs
|
Posted - 2007.06.13 15:55:00 -
[10]
[subtlemode]ill give you the isk in a bit[/subtlemode]
hehehe
Originally by: CCP Wrangler
you're not supposed to feel like you're logging in to a happy, happy, fluffy, fluffy lala land filled with fun and adventures, that's what hello kitty online is for.
|
Azirapheal
Amarr
kleptomaniacs
|
Posted - 2007.06.13 16:20:00 -
[11]
it is quite groovy isnt it :) the actual full quote is in my bio, damn sig constraints :(
Originally by: CCP Wrangler
you're not supposed to feel like you're logging in to a happy, happy, fluffy, fluffy lala land filled with fun and adventures, that's what hello kitty online is for.
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Azirapheal
Amarr
kleptomaniacs
|
Posted - 2007.06.13 17:36:00 -
[12]
listen here son, gimme that crash!
sigh im bored out of my mind at the minute, might go eat a baby
Originally by: CCP Wrangler
you're not supposed to feel like you're logging in to a happy, happy, fluffy, fluffy lala land filled with fun and adventures, that's what hello kitty online is for.
|
Azirapheal
Amarr
kleptomaniacs
|
Posted - 2007.06.13 19:00:00 -
[13]
Originally by: Arii Smith
Is it just me or is Tiller the only member of Klepto who is not a complete muppet (Atleast when he makes a thread I laugh)?
All these threads are making you guys into a joke, not a feared pirate corp...
im fairly sure that tiller would have a heart attack if you didnt include him in the muppetry :P
Originally by: CCP Wrangler
you're not supposed to feel like you're logging in to a happy, happy, fluffy, fluffy lala land filled with fun and adventures, that's what hello kitty online is for.
|
Azirapheal
Amarr
kleptomaniacs
|
Posted - 2007.06.13 21:13:00 -
[14]
Edited by: Azirapheal on 13/06/2007 21:12:00
im officially honoured, boob head graced me with his presence
and im absolutely loving all these people that hate us for being uber flaming our posts and keeping em alive
id laugh, but it would be unbecoming for one as smacktacular as i!
Azi *chuckles
Originally by: CCP Wrangler
you're not supposed to feel like you're logging in to a happy, happy, fluffy, fluffy lala land filled with fun and adventures, that's what hello kitty online is for.
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Azirapheal
Amarr
kleptomaniacs
|
Posted - 2007.06.13 22:17:00 -
[15]
im not one with the boob!
everything i do contradicts what you want :P did you even read the EVE eula? (not ours)
quite clearly states that "persons with boobs for heads do not have a valid opinion, ever"
somewhere near the bottom i think ;)
/emote goes to have a shower
Originally by: CCP Wrangler
you're not supposed to feel like you're logging in to a happy, happy, fluffy, fluffy lala land filled with fun and adventures, that's what hello kitty online is for.
|
Azirapheal
Amarr
kleptomaniacs
|
Posted - 2007.06.13 23:07:00 -
[16]
ironic really, a eula joke too intelligent for CNP "bring out the dancing spam"
sigh - mod go clicky clicky please and let it die *sniffle*
Originally by: CCP Wrangler
you're not supposed to feel like you're logging in to a happy, happy, fluffy, fluffy lala land filled with fun and adventures, that's what hello kitty online is for.
|
Azirapheal
Amarr
kleptomaniacs
|
Posted - 2007.06.14 18:19:00 -
[17]
if i really wanted to attract vast amounts of attention to myself i'd run ******* naked through the nearest city centre waving my truncheon around and cackling like a loon
and yeah tiller is under your stairs.... griefing your noobs
Originally by: CCP Wrangler
you're not supposed to feel like you're logging in to a happy, happy, fluffy, fluffy lala land filled with fun and adventures, that's what hello kitty online is for.
|
Azirapheal
Amarr
kleptomaniacs
|
Posted - 2007.06.15 00:09:00 -
[18]
what the smeg is going on here?
Originally by: CCP Wrangler
you're not supposed to feel like you're logging in to a happy, happy, fluffy, fluffy lala land filled with fun and adventures, that's what hello kitty online is for.
|
Azirapheal
Amarr
kleptomaniacs
|
Posted - 2007.06.17 18:11:00 -
[19]
i can confirm he is not my alt, technically speaking i myself am an alt if you go by character age
but fish happens
on a lighter note i now have a RL job! so will only be forum spamming for 18 hours of the day
Originally by: CCP Wrangler
you're not supposed to feel like you're logging in to a happy, happy, fluffy, fluffy lala land filled with fun and adventures, that's what hello kitty online is for.
|
Azirapheal
Amarr
kleptomaniacs
|
Posted - 2007.06.17 22:50:00 -
[20]
Edited by: Azirapheal on 17/06/2007 22:50:00
HAI
CAN HAS 1337PWNZORZ
VISIBLE "KLEPTOMANIA PWNS JOO"
VISIBLE "Faekurias PH43RS US"
VISIBLE "KLEPTO WIN EVE"
KTHXBYE
Originally by: CCP Wrangler
you're not supposed to feel like you're logging in to a happy, happy, fluffy, fluffy lala land filled with fun and adventures, that's what hello kitty online is for.
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