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Kaaii
Caldari
Equilibrium LLC
   |
Posted - 2007.07.25 13:18:00 -
[1]
Greets,
In order to facilitate the accurate, unbiased and complete picture when gathering useful info to post on CaOD forum I've put together this handy little guide. No more wading through pages of he said, she said, all you need is right here....
Right, so to begin.
First you need a catchy, Intelligent sounding corp/alliance ticker, something that guarantees pages and pages of responses to your facts.
Choose One:
1) Alts'R'Us
2) Smackers
3) Yetanotherknowitall
4) RevelationsfrommetoU (bibiical references get more hits)
5) Muppets Who know
Now you have your corp name you can move on to your Subterfuge Promotional Extended Writing phase. SPEW - for short. A title for your wealth of knowledge is mandatory, again something eye catching. This portion needs careful consideration, and a bit of work. You must substitute the correct name in the brackets. These "[]" are brackets.
There are several styles to choose from, (a lot of exclamation marks helps).
- -Global News style-
1) [insert name of Alliance/Corp/Pilot] looses [Supercap/Region/Game]!!!
-Covert News style-
2) [insert name of Alliance/Corp/Pilot] theft, losses in the [1's/10's/100's] of Billion ISKS!!!
-Event News style-
3) Humongous battle in [Region/System/undisclosed], [Alliance/Corp] looses [0/1/10/100/10000] ships, while [Alliance/Corp] looses [/1/10/100/1000]!!
a) My team won because of [Superior leadership/Exploit/Lag]
b) My team lost because of [Inferior leadership/Exploit/Lag]
-Logistical-
4) [Alliance/Corp] builds [Outpost/Cap ship yards/Tower] (if cap ship yards, claim to know where it is but don't tell anyone, people love that).
-Exceptional Kill-
5) [Titan/Mothership/Freighter] downed in [Region/System/undisclosed]!! (include link to killmail, for verification, can be fake)
Now on with the substance of the post.
Start with:
- 1) I heard
2) Someone said
3) Sources relate
4) My spies tell me
5) Recent events indicate
followed by either a long dissertation on your facts, or a vague innuendo's of knowing whats going on. Either works just as well. The main thing you must do is come across like you are ABSOLUTELY in the know. I cannot stress this enough. You can further bolster your claim by substantiating it with:
- 1) I personally was there
2) So was my alt
3) My convo with,
a) Sir Molle
b) Remedial
c) Shin Ra
d) Seleene
e) Dark Shikari
f) Chribba (warning, DO NOT use the Chribba reference UNLESS, it involves Veldspar, you have been warned)
4) I was asked by [Alliance/Corp/Pilot] to relate these facts here.
Then proceed with the rest of your information. It is important to note, that most CAOD readers are generally clambering for any tidbits of true and factual information, so be sure and use all of your creative writing skills to their fullest. Cite past operations, battles, history. Offer proof, but be sure to make your claims as vague as possible. This will insure many replies after your post to which you can respond to.
And finally-
Enviably, someone will post after you claiming you have no idea what you are talking about. This is to be expected, so be ready for it. Use the following to discredit them.
- 1) Fofofo
2) LOL
3) Lollerskates
4) This coming from your [Alliance/Corp/Pilot]
5) I will petition you for harassment!
------
And there you have it! INTEL posting 101
I hope this was as informative and useful for you as it was therapeutic for me...
"Id rather fall beside 10 Lions, than stand with 1000 sheep.."
Trading 101
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Mud Pandemonium
Minmatar
Umbra Congregatio
Interstellar Alcohol Conglomerate
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Posted - 2007.07.25 13:20:00 -
[2]
Fofofo
Annihilation, Obliteration
Pulses in these veins
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Caldari Citizen 6280
Various Disease
|
Posted - 2007.07.25 13:25:00 -
[3]
My spies tell me that this is funny I know this because I personally was there when I lol'd.
also Lollerskates.
---
Secret Forum Alt
Secret Forum Alt
They've given you a number
because your name was offensive. |
Grimpak
Gallente
Trinity Nova
KIA Alliance
|
Posted - 2007.07.25 13:26:00 -
[4]
win post for CAOD
---
truth about EVE:  Quote:
"Guns are fine, boost players"
Quote:
"Players are fine, boost guns"
|
Splagada
Minmatar
Tides of Silence
Hydra Alliance
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Posted - 2007.07.25 13:33:00 -
[5]
Edited by: Splagada on 25/07/2007 13:33:34
edit : how is it even possible to reply to the wrong thread lol
------
Proud Janitor of Tides of Silence |
Aira Phlux
Convergent
Firmus Ixion
|
Posted - 2007.07.25 13:36:00 -
[6]
Disturbingly accurate.
10/10 
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thoth foc
Destructive Influence
Band of Brothers
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Posted - 2007.07.25 13:39:00 -
[7]
lol 
_________________________
xMenta (DSMA)
xBOS (CA)
xATUK (.5.)
DICE (BOB)
Elcyion Lacar
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D'onryu Shoqui
Vengeance of the Fallen
Curse Alliance
|
Posted - 2007.07.25 13:46:00 -
[8]
dont forget to wear your tinfoil hat when posting
------------------------------
My opinions are my own and not that of the alliance i belong to. |
Karunel
Princeps Corp
YouWhat
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Posted - 2007.07.25 13:48:00 -
[9]
Originally by: D'onryu Shoqui
dont forget to wear your tinfoil hat when posting
That's covered on the "Forum's Guide for the Terminally Dumb", man!
Great thread!
____
Originally by: elbenito
The problem with large fleet engagements is that the hamsters stop to watch.
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scififreak
Minmatar
Exanimo Inc
Triumvirate.
|
Posted - 2007.07.25 13:52:00 -
[10]
Good stuff 
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Idaeus
Gallente
Earned In Blood
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Posted - 2007.07.25 13:55:00 -
[11]
Needs to be stickied.
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Akela
Caldari
Interstellar Developments Corp
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Posted - 2007.07.25 14:56:00 -
[12]
Pwnd!
"All who wander are not lost.." |
Dark Shikari
Caldari
Imperium Technologies
Firmus Ixion
|
Posted - 2007.07.25 15:03:00 -
[13]
Epic. Needs a sticky TBFH.
23 Member
EVE Video makers: save EVE-files bandwidth! Use the H.264 AutoEncoder! |
Lee Bian
Amarryan Nations
GoonSwarm
|
Posted - 2007.07.25 15:31:00 -
[14]
you picked:
3
?
5
1
my retort is 5
|
Seleene
Body Count Inc.
Mercenary Coalition
|
Posted - 2007.07.25 15:36:00 -
[15]
Edited by: Seleene on 25/07/2007 15:36:44
CAOD win button. 
-
THIS FLEET FOR RENT! |
Djerin
Obsidian Exploration Services
|
Posted - 2007.07.25 15:45:00 -
[16]
Originally by: Seleene
Edited by: Seleene on 25/07/2007 15:36:44
CAOD win button.
yah lol, this thread will be linked to a hell lot of future "news" threads and the like.
:{D
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Easylife
Umbra Congregatio
Interstellar Alcohol Conglomerate
|
Posted - 2007.07.25 15:45:00 -
[17]
wins |
Dog Solitude
Equilibrium LLC
|
Posted - 2007.07.25 17:13:00 -
[18]
The trade guide was pretty good Kaaii, but this is gold. 
|
Angelus X
Reikoku
Band of Brothers
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Posted - 2007.07.25 17:15:00 -
[19]
Very funny :)
Foxor : targets are lewt, just not yet in can form
Hi |
Zethan Z
Dark and Light inc.
D-L
|
Posted - 2007.07.25 17:27:00 -
[20]
Full endorsement of this product! :)
Your sure you really wrote this though? Seems like an awfull lot of people have been using it before!..  .. 
|
Proxay
Gallente
Fallen Angel's
Blade.
|
Posted - 2007.07.25 17:32:00 -
[21]
Edited by: Proxay on 25/07/2007 17:32:25
Originally by: D'onryu Shoqui
dont forget to wear your tinfoil hat when posting
and reading
/signed for sticky!
Fallen Angel's Recruitment |
Gutsani
D00M.
Triumvirate.
|
Posted - 2007.07.25 17:36:00 -
[22]
can someone make a php/asp/python script for this? to generate the message
it all sounds so difficult!
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Kaaii
Caldari
Equilibrium LLC
|
Posted - 2007.07.25 19:52:00 -
[23]
Originally by: Seleene
Edited by: Seleene on 25/07/2007 15:36:44
CAOD win button.
Had I only known you would appear and endorse my proposal, I would have surely moved you to "a"
"Id rather fall beside 10 Lions, than stand with 1000 sheep.."
Trading 101
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Chronus26
Gallente
Team Laser Explosion
Molotov Coalition
|
Posted - 2007.07.26 00:42:00 -
[24]
Wow thanks.
/me goes to free up some alt slots.
-----
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Domalais
Equilibrium LLC
|
Posted - 2007.07.26 01:31:00 -
[25]
Almost perfect, but you forgot one tactic.
Step 1) Wait for your alliance to do something right/win a battle/etc. Depending on which alliance you are in, this could take quite a while.
Step 2) Post with your alt, with the topic "Hey, I heard that soandso alliance totally omgpwned another alliance today! Is that true?"
Step 3) Reply to your alt with your main, and talk about how awesome you are, and the total pwnage that happened.
It's a sure-fire CAOD winner tactic.
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Devian 666
Axe Gang
|
Posted - 2007.07.26 03:12:00 -
[26]
On another forum that I'm a member of a similar "guide" was posted so that people wouldn't post complete garbage that no one wanted to read. Such a guide if stickied might assist a reduction in the number of ******** posts.
If people read the OP try not to post anything that falls into the categories listed. Though I don't mind reading smack free ACCURATE battle reports.
I agree I don't have the features to be a holoreel star.
Most people have missed the point that this is Mobsters Online and that carebears are at the bottom of the foodchain. |
Buxaroo
Reikoku
Band of Brothers
|
Posted - 2007.07.26 14:48:00 -
[27]
Agreed, this should be a sticky
Don't know how I missed reading this.
"No matter where you go, there you are" - B |
darkfuntime
Minmatar
Omega Enterprises
Mostly Harmless
|
Posted - 2007.07.26 15:21:00 -
[28]
My name is Dark and i approve this message
[/url] |
Orryc
Equilibrium LLC
|
Posted - 2007.07.26 15:42:00 -
[29]
Originally by: Buxaroo
Agreed, this should be a sticky
Don't know how I missed reading this.
It's easy to miss, because it is being overpowered by those forum warriors who have not yet been enlightened to this post, and are still spamming away useless stuff.
/me votes for a Sticky. |
n0thing
omen.
|
Posted - 2007.07.26 16:22:00 -
[30]
Priceless post. One of those that put a smile on your face for long hours
---
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