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bluecheast
Four Rings
Phalanx Alliance
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Posted - 2007.11.17 17:23:00 -
[31]
A good samaritan was walking home late one night when he came upon this drunk on the sidewalk. Wanting to help, he asked the drunk "do you live here?" "Yep". "Would you like me to help you upstairs?" "Yep". When they got up on the second floor, the good person asked "Is this your floor?" "Yep".
Then the good samaritan got to thinking that maybe he didn't want to face the man's irate and tired wife because she may think he was the one who got the man drunk. So, he opened the first door he came to and shoved him through it then went back downstairs. However, when he went back outside, there was another drunk. So he asked that drunk "Do you live here?" "Yep". "Would you like me to help you upstairs?" "Yep". So he did and put him in the same door with the first drunk. Then went back downstairs.
Where, to his surprise, there was another drunk. So he started over to him. But before he got to him, the drunk staggered over to a policeman and cried "Please officer, protect me from this man.
He's been doing nothing all night long but taking me upstairs and throwing me down the elevator shaft!"
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(Our Forums)
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sweetheart
Absolute Destruction
Phalanx Alliance
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Posted - 2007.11.17 22:58:00 -
[32]
Bump for a good joke , and a great bunch of PvP'ers ..
..............................................
To Win is Everything
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midge Mo'yb
R.U.S.T.
Phalanx Alliance
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Posted - 2007.11.17 23:43:00 -
[33]
 Originally by: sweetheart
Bump for a good joke , and a great bunch of PvP'ers ..
agreed :D
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bluecheast
Four Rings
Phalanx Alliance
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Posted - 2007.11.18 17:13:00 -
[34]
When the waitress in a New York City restaurant brought him the soup du jour, the Englishman was a bit dismayed. "Good heavens," he said, "what is this?"
"Why, it's bean soup," she replied.
"I don't care what it has been," he sputtered. "What is it now?"
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(Our Forums)
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bluecheast
Four Rings
Phalanx Alliance
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Posted - 2007.11.19 19:32:00 -
[35]
A blonde was standing in front of a soda machine outside of a local store. After putting in sixty cents, a root beer pops out of the machine. She set it on the ground, puts sixty more cents into the machine, and pushes another button; suddenly, a coke comes out the machine!
She continued to do this until a man waiting to use the machine became impatient. "Excuse me, can I get my soda and then you can go back to whatever stupid thing you are doing?"
The blonde turns around and says, "Yeah right! I'm not giving up this machine while I'm still winning!"
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(Our Forums)
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bluecheast
Four Rings
Phalanx Alliance
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Posted - 2007.11.22 19:04:00 -
[36]
"Yes da bad times in life is like a telephone
You never know when it ago ring
But when it ring
Just pick it up an receive
When you finish
Put down the receiver and carry on
'Cause the sun will always shine"
Say what?
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(Our Forums)
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bluecheast
Four Rings
Phalanx Alliance
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Posted - 2007.11.23 19:49:00 -
[37]
Q: If there were 4 potatoes in a room, which one would be the prostitute?
A: The one that's labeled "IDAHO"
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(Our Forums)
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bluecheast
Four Rings
Phalanx Alliance
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Posted - 2007.11.26 15:20:00 -
[38]
There's this Wizard who worked in a factory. Everything was satisfactory except that miscreants, taking advantage of his good nature, would steal his parking spot. This continued until he put up the following sign: "This parking space belongs to the Wizard. ... Violators will be toad."
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(Our Forums)
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bluecheast
Four Rings
Phalanx Alliance
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Posted - 2007.11.27 22:41:00 -
[39]
There were some backwoods hillbillies living across the river from each other, who feuded constantly. John hated Clarence with a passion and never passed up a chance to throw rocks across the river at Clarence. This went on for years until one day the Corps of Engineers came to build a bridge across that river. John was elated; he told his wife that finally he was going to get the chance to cross over and whip Clarence.
He left the house and returned in a matter of minutes. His wife asked what was wrong, didn't he intend to go over the bridge and whip Clarence? He replied that he never had really seen Clarence up close and didn't realize his size until he started over the bridge and saw the sign: "CLEARANCE 8 FT 3 IN"
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(Our Forums)
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bluecheast
Four Rings
Phalanx Alliance
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Posted - 2007.11.28 19:16:00 -
[40]
Bill Clinton, Hillary Ramrod Clinton, Al Gore, and Tipper Gore are flying aboard Air Force 1 on their way to visit the Communists to share their success stories about taxing Americans.
Bill: "Why don't I throw this hundred dollar bill out the window and make someone very happy."
Hillary: "Well, why don't you throw ten hundred dollar bills out the window and make ten people happy."
Al: "Why don't you two jump out the window and make me and Tipper happy."
Tipper: "Why don't we all jump out the window and make everybody throughout the United States and world happy."
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bluecheast
Four Rings
Phalanx Alliance
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Posted - 2007.11.30 17:24:00 -
[41]
A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money.
The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, "Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel.
"I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents.
"The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5:00 pm for 20 cents. I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I'd accumulated a fortune of $1.37."
"And that's how you built an empire?" the boy asked.
"Heavens, no!" the man replied. "Then my wife's father died and left us two million dollars."
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(Our Forums)
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bluecheast
Four Rings
Phalanx Alliance
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Posted - 2007.12.02 15:32:00 -
[42]
A SICK STAG lay down in a quiet corner of its pasture-ground.
His companions came in great numbers to inquire after his health,
and each one helped himself to a share of the food which had been
placed for his use; so that he died, not from his sickness, but
from the failure of the means of living
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(Our Forums)
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Caztra Tor
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Posted - 2007.12.02 17:03:00 -
[43]
Are you for or against Bob?
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bluecheast
Four Rings
Phalanx Alliance
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Posted - 2007.12.03 16:49:00 -
[44]
Edited by: bluecheast on 03/12/2007 16:49:50
Were neutral to them all
For the past three years, the government has worked hard and spent many tax dollars to find the approval ratings for unemployment.
They have concluded that a 7% unemployment level is acceptable to 93% of the working population.
Now let's just hope that the unemployment rate doesn't change.
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(Our Forums)
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bluecheast
Four Rings
Phalanx Alliance
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Posted - 2007.12.04 19:22:00 -
[45]
Sheri, the pert and pretty nurse took her troubles to a resident psychiatrist in the hospital where she worked. "Doctor, you must help me," she pleaded. "It's gotten so that every time I date one of the young doctors here, I end up dating him. And then afterward, I feel guilty and depressed for a week."
"I see," nodded the psychiatrist. "And you, no doubt, want me to strengthen your will power and resolve in this matter."
"NO!!!" exclaimed the nurse. "I want you to fix it so I won't feel guilty and depressed afterward!"
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bluecheast
Four Rings
Phalanx Alliance
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Posted - 2007.12.06 17:51:00 -
[46]
There were three Aggies; one crane operator, one pole climber, one guide. The guide tied the crane to the end of a pole. The crane operator would then pick the pole up on end. The climber climbed to the top and dropped a tape measure which the guide promptly read and noted the measurement. The crane operator then lowered the pole to the ground and repsitioned to pick up another pole. This went on several times when the foreman came over and asked why they couldn't measure the poles while they were laying on the ground? The Aggies replied, "we need to know how tall the poles are, not how long".
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bluecheast
Four Rings
Phalanx Alliance
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Posted - 2007.12.07 15:43:00 -
[47]
There's antimony, arsenic, aluminum, selenium,
And hydrogen and oxygen and nitrogen and rhenium
And nickel, neodymium, neptunium, germanium,
And iron, americium, ruthenium, uranium,
Europium, zirconium, lutetium, vanadium
And lanthanum and osmium and astatine and radium
And gold, protactinium and indium and gallium (inhale)
And iodine and thorium and thulium and thallium.
There's yttrium, ytterbium, actinium, rubidium
And boron, gadolinium, niobium, iridium
And strontium and silicon and silver and samarium,
And bismuth, bromine, lithium, beryllium and barium.
There's holmium and helium and hafnium and erbium
And phosphorous and francium and fluorine and terbium
And manganese and mercury, molybdinum, magnesium,
Dysprosium and scandium and cerium and cesium
And lead, praseodymium, platinum, plutonium,
Paladium, promethium, potassium, polonium,
Tantalum, technetium, titanium, tellurium, (inhale)
And cadmium and calcium and chromium and curium.
There's sulfur, californium and fermium, berkelium
And also mendelevium, einsteinium and nobelium
And argon, krypton, neon, radon, xenon, zinc and rhodium
And chlorine, cobalt, carbon, copper,
Tungsten, tin and sodium.
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bluecheast
Four Rings
Phalanx Alliance
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Posted - 2007.12.08 22:03:00 -
[48]
An Ass and rude horse were travelling together.
The Horse carried little beyond his own tether.
While the poor laden beast beside him did struggle;
So overburdend that he finally faltered.
He pleaded with the Horse to show him some pity,
Else he would die before reaching the city.
"My request after all is not impolite;
Half of this load you would still find light."
The Horse he refused thinking himself clever,
But soon saw his comrade fall down forever.
He realized quickly he had been mistaken,
For soon he was carrying the whole of the burden
Along with the skin of his little companion.
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bluecheast
Four Rings
Phalanx Alliance
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Posted - 2007.12.09 17:36:00 -
[49]
Mommy, Mommy! What happened to all that dog food Fido wouldn't eat?
Shut up and eat your meat loaf.
Mommy, Mommy! When are we going to have Aunt Edna for dinner?
Shut up, we haven't even finished your Grandmother yet.
Mommy, Mommy! I hate my sister's guts.
Shut up and eat what's put in front of you.
Mommy, Mommy! What is a deliquent child?
Shut up, light your cigarette, drink your whisky and deal those cards.
Mommy, Mommy! What is a deliquent child?
Shut up and pass me the crowbar.
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bluecheast
Four Rings
Phalanx Alliance
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Posted - 2007.12.10 18:19:00 -
[50]
A NUMBER of Flies were attracted to a jar of honey which had been
overturned in a housekeeper's room, and placing their feet in it,
ate greedily. Their feet, however, became so smeared with the
honey that they could not use their wings, nor release
themselves, and were suffocated. Just as they were expiring,
they exclaimed, "O foolish creatures that we are, for the sake of
a little pleasure we have destroyed ourselves."
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bluecheast
Four Rings
Phalanx Alliance
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Posted - 2007.12.11 20:21:00 -
[51]
Three cowboys were hanging out in the bunkhouse. "I know that smart aleck Tex," said the first. "He's going to start bragging about that new foreign car he bought as soon as he gets back."
"Not Tex," the second cowboy replied. "He'll always be just a good ol' boy. When he walks in, I'm sure all he'll say is hello."
"I know Tex better than either of you," said the third. "He's so smart, he'll figure out a way to do both. Here he comes now." Tex swung open the bunkhouse door and shouted, "Audi, partners!"
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bluecheast
Four Rings
Phalanx Alliance
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Posted - 2007.12.13 18:17:00 -
[52]
" ...animals are insentient automata and therefore the intense squeals they make when tortured are merely the sounds of broken machines..."
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bluecheast
Four Rings
Phalanx Alliance
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Posted - 2007.12.14 19:02:00 -
[53]
A man runs to the doctor and says, "Doctor, you've got to help me. My wife thinks she's a chicken!"
The doctor asks, "How long has she had this condition?"
"Two years," says the man.
"Then why did it take you so long to come and see me?" asked the shrink.
The man shrugs his shoulders and replies, "We needed the eggs."
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bluecheast
Four Rings
Phalanx Alliance
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Posted - 2007.12.15 16:25:00 -
[54]
Always remember you're unique...Just like everyone else.
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bluecheast
Four Rings
Phalanx Alliance
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Posted - 2007.12.16 16:22:00 -
[55]
Fe Fi Fo Fum
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bluecheast
Four Rings
Phalanx Alliance
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Posted - 2007.12.17 18:16:00 -
[56]
Worried because they hadn't heard anything for days from the widow in the neighboring apartment, Mrs. Silver said to her son, "Timmy, would you go next door and see how old Mrs. Kirkland is?"
A few minutes later, Timmy returned.
"Well," asked Mrs. Silver, "is she all right?"
"She's fine, except that she's angry at you."
"At me?" the woman exclaimed. "Whatever for?"
"She said 'It's none of your business how old she is,'" snickered Timmy.
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bluecheast
Four Rings
Phalanx Alliance
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Posted - 2007.12.26 20:40:00 -
[57]
Another boring bumb
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Vuilnisbak
Gallente
Four Rings
Phalanx Alliance
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Posted - 2007.12.27 12:01:00 -
[58]
/me waves to Blue and blows him a kiss!
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bitzero
Minmatar
Four Rings
Phalanx Alliance
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Posted - 2007.12.27 20:12:00 -
[59]
Yay a chance to promote my film go se how much fun we have: Venal patrol
I joined approx 2month ago, very much recommended :)
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bitzero
Minmatar
Four Rings
Phalanx Alliance
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Posted - 2007.12.29 08:36:00 -
[60]
Join up we need more more  .
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