/What would actually happen.

I dont know whats funnier, the op or the fact that people still fall for this scam.

NO ONE READS THE GOON WIKI!! To Be a good you have to be a member of the something awful community for at least 6 months and even then you need a sponsor.

Ten ******* steps and the process has it's own Wikipedia entry? Holy mother of ****. When doth thy cycle endith.

Judging by the constant stream of people in the SA recruitment thread that fails to read the instructions, the cycle never ends, and Lowtax can probably put both kids and grandkids through college on the amount of failed EVE applicants aloneGǪ

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Hey Mittani i got a few things i would like to tell you so if you would please take the time to read it trugh i would be honored. I know you are a busy man so ill go straight to it.

About a Week agoe i was aproached by a corp member of you called Third Flower he was nice and friendly and told me about GoonWaffe and the many opotunitys if i were to apply and get acceptet into the corperation. he seemed nice and spoke very good for the Goons.

so after a few talks i desitet to try and apply i followed the instructions Third flower gave me and made the saftey deposit as instructet both for me 650mill and for my brother Ina Rawberry 500 mill in total 1.15 bill for me that was quite a bit of isk and would take me some time to earn that back in high sec, but i took the chance. After a days or so i could see my aplication were acceptet on the goonfleet site and tought yer that was nice. But then nothing happend and after 3-4 days i contactet Third flower again asking why nothing happend yet as the payment already were acceptet. He dosnt know and asks for help from a director thats where the man Testobjekt comes into the picture and it goes down hill from there. I know you got strict ruels and such and i totaly understand that, but he starts to question me with a wery offensive and angry aproach, and we come up with that i need to pay atleast 75% of all my assets in deposit for joining so in good heart and trush in this guy and third flower i start trying tog ather the 2,6 bill more he wants from me and my brother. it takes a few hrs and its ready.

But then somthing happends Third flower sends me a mail that i dont really pay atention to but later i get to know it contains the info of a 100 bill cargo from VFK to jita and the time of departure, that ofc is very clasafied info. and Testobjekt gets very mad and we are told that our aplications have been canceled and we are blacklistet from goons cus of Third flowers mistake. After a bit of talk again he agrees that we still have a chance of joining again but to do that we would be required to give the rest bit of assets we have including 2x t3's with subsystems. I talk it over with my bro and he agrees we still very much want to be a part of this and experience war on a scale we cant anywhere in the game so we agrees and call it a night after the transfer.
Then this morning i talk to Testobjekt again and he tells me its not enough and gives me a fine for a reason i dont know. The fine is 500 mill that i have to pay before 14.00 eve time and he tells me after that i can join, so i do my best but ends up short i use every last drop i have to try and make it and ends up with 250 mill and we discuss it and he tells me to pay it to him and after i join i get a new fine of 1bill.

Then downtime hits and afterwards he tells me its off and if i want a chance i need to get new 500 mill so the Gia have told him.

but after giving away ca 7.5 bill in assets i got no more and have to tell him i cant:

Thats pretty much it and im wondering if thats the way Goonwaffe do rip honest ppl off who wish to join their ranks and fight along side of them. Right now i feel ripped off and buttfucked was in good belife the hole way but was clearly desived. so would very much like to know if thats it thers no chance of Goonswarm for me ever and i will have to start all over again and spent years to build up what i had, or are there any chance i can get back what i gave in good belif to join your ranks or is everything gone for me

Really hope u took the time to read this

o7 Pilot Rave Terris

but I do agree on the other message
a fool and his money are easily parted.
I clearly deserve it this time

Pointless drivel

i have an endless appetite for the pain and humiliation of the stupid, so when i see mails like this in my inbox, it pleases me:



i think this is the op's alt

Welcome to EVE

Make 300 posts a day for the next 3 months and your good to sign up.

The stupid police are alive and well and living in Goon swarm....


By the way...if any of you guys have been ripped of by Goons, i provide a service that is guaranteed to get your money back....i just need a 5 bil retainer and ill get your money back....contact me in game.



You never know, it might work

Right now i feel ripped off and buttfucked was in good belife the hole way but was clearly desived.

On a totally unrelated note, does anyone know how much somethingawful.com makes in profits? It is a great business model to say the least. I might try a "me, too" version some time in the future.

The only positive in this story is that you stopped before giving them another 6.5B.

Oh, the other positive is that you remain a proud non-member of goons. You might be an idiot but at least you still have your soul and integrity.

EVE System > Channel MOTD: Welcome to the recruitment channel. This channel is intended for those players looking to find a new corporation, as well as those looking to enlist new players. Other activities, such as non-recruitment discussion is not permitted.
No scamming is allowed in this channel and this includes, but not limited to, using the recruitment channel as a platform to find or target players to scam. As per subject, we ask everyone to use their best judgment before contracting assets or ISK as part of corporation's recruitment process and any deals made or finalized outside this channel are done at your own risk and responsibility. An additional recruitment source is the Alliance and Corporation Recruitment Center section of the forums.

I kind of felt that it was safe.
The part i've underlined is quite hard to manipulate/misunderstand

But that's it, some times i forget the "trust no one" rule of this game XD

well... but what could i think? I mean, there's a nice red message that pops when you enter the recruitment channel. It says this:


EVE System > Channel MOTD: Welcome to the recruitment channel. This channel is intended for those players looking to find a new corporation, as well as those looking to enlist new players. Other activities, such as non-recruitment discussion is not permitted.
No scamming is allowed in this channel and this includes, but not limited to, using the recruitment channel as a platform to find or target players to scam. As per subject, we ask everyone to use their best judgment before contracting assets or ISK as part of corporation's recruitment process and any deals made or finalized outside this channel are done at your own risk and responsibility. An additional recruitment source is the Alliance and Corporation Recruitment Center section of the forums.