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Kyogen Steiner
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Posted - 2004.03.16 11:18:00 -
[31]
Ole was buying his first TV. He went into the furniture shop where Sven worked as a salesman. "I vant to buy that nice TV over dere" Ole said.
"Sorry, ve don't sell TV's to Norwegians" Sven said.
Ole was flabbergasted but refused to give up so easily. He bought himself a very expensive disguise complete with the outfit, the hairstyle and even learned a new accent. He came back to the furniture shop.
"Hey, man, be cool. I really dig that TV there. How much you want for it, cat?" Ole asked.
Sven didn't pause in his response. "Sorry, ve don't sell TV's to Norwegians!"
Ole was flabbergasted and more determined than ever. He went to a neighboring city and bought another disguise and learned another new accent. He came back to the furniture shop. "Howdy, partner, I'd sure like to purr-chess that TV yonder, wa-ja say?" Ole asked.
Sven again immediately responded, "Sorry, ve don't sell TV's to Norwegians!"
Ole stepped back, ripped off his mask, and demanded, "Hey, how in de vurld did you know I'm a Norwegian?"
"Vell, first of all, yong man, dat ees a micro vave offen."
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We are the bringers of hatred! |
Admiral IceBlock
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Posted - 2004.03.16 11:21:00 -
[32]
Then there's the story about the Swede who was building himself a house. One of his friends came by and asked why the heck he threw away every second nail? "They have the nail-head in the wrong end", the man replied. His friend became furious with him and shouted, "How stupid can you get? Don't you realize that those nails were made to be used on the other side of the house???"
"We brake for nobody"
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Kyogen Steiner
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Posted - 2004.03.16 11:23:00 -
[33]
A Norwegian was building a fence and working with great speed. When asked why he was in such a hurry, he said, "I'm trying to get it done before I run out of nails."
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We are the bringers of hatred! |
Admiral IceBlock
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Posted - 2004.03.16 11:28:00 -
[34]
Edited by: Admiral IceBlock on 16/03/2004 11:29:21
Bird dog?
There were these two Swedish hunter-buddies who went to Norway and bought a bird dog. Later they returned to Sweden to test the dog, but they were rather disappointed. Finally one of the guys said "We've been cheated, we might as well just give the dog away." The other Swede looked back at his buddy, "Yeah, we'll give him one more chance. Throw him up in the air again, and if he doesn't fly we'll just have to give him away to someone else."
"We brake for nobody"
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Alynthir
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Posted - 2004.03.16 11:30:00 -
[35]
This has to be one of the most unique hijackings of a thread I've ever seen. 
_____
CLS Civil Affairs Bureau
"Permanent = Today's Plan."
Training: Noob Instructor Level 5  |
Kyogen Steiner
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Posted - 2004.03.16 12:01:00 -
[36]
A pilot was having trouble maintaing the stability of his plane. So he turned to the co-pilot and asked him what the trouble was. The co-pilot said that there were a bunch of norwegians on board causing a ruckus. So the pilot asked him to calm them down. The co-pilot left and came back, and suddenly the plane was calm. The pilot said "How did you take care of all those norwegians?"
"Oh, it was easy" said the co-pilot. "I just opened the hatch and told them there was free lutefisk in the basement!"
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We are the bringers of hatred! |
Admiral IceBlock
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Posted - 2004.03.16 12:02:00 -
[37]
Watch your driving!
In the old days the Swedes used to drive on the left, but his caused many tourist accidents. They decided to switch to the right. Being careful people, they wanted this to go smoothly. So they decided that on Monday all trucks and buses would start driving on the right. If that went well, all cars would follow suit the next day.
"We brake for nobody"
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Kyogen Steiner
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Posted - 2004.03.16 12:08:00 -
[38]
Why did the norwegian circle his block 58 times?
His turn signal was stuck
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We are the bringers of hatred! |
Admiral IceBlock
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Posted - 2004.03.16 12:30:00 -
[39]
a Swede came home one evening and shot his dog. When his
neighbor asked why, he explained, "Some one phoned me
up and said my wife was fooling around with my best friend."
"We brake for nobody"
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Kyogen Steiner
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Posted - 2004.03.16 12:31:00 -
[40]
Two groups of men are fishing the same lake, a group of Swedes and a group of Norwegians. They're all casting away like mad, but while the Swedes are catching lots of fish, the Norwegians aren't catching anything at all. So one of the Norwegians tells one of his friends to go over to the Swede group and see what it is that they're doing to catch all these fish. So off the guy goes, and pretty soon he comes back to the Norwegian group. When asked what the Swedes were doing, he said, "Well, it looks like the first thing they do is cut a hole in the ice....."
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We are the bringers of hatred! |
Admiral IceBlock
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Posted - 2004.03.16 12:36:00 -
[41]
"Mama, I have da biggest feet in da third grade. Is dat becoss I'm Svedish?"
"No, it's because you're NINETEEN."
"We brake for nobody"
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Kyogen Steiner
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Posted - 2004.03.16 12:38:00 -
[42]
A Norwegian appeared with five other men in a******case police line-up. As the victim entered the room, the Norwegian blurted, "Yep…that's her!"
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We are the bringers of hatred! |
Admiral IceBlock
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Posted - 2004.03.16 12:46:00 -
[43]
There was this swede who once got home and found his wife in bed with another man. He was so angry that he got a gun and pointed it to his own head. "NO! Don't do that," his wife begged. "Shut up woman! You'll be next," the angry swede replied.
"We brake for nobody"
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Psy Corp
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Posted - 2004.03.16 12:46:00 -
[44]
two norwegain pilots discused the the ability to fly to the sun.
- i think it will get to hot
- no not at all, we will fly at night
I Have The Power Of The Mighty Lo.0lipop..
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Kyogen Steiner
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Posted - 2004.03.16 12:49:00 -
[45]
How many Norwegians does it take to milk a cow?
Ten.....four to hold onto the faucets and the other six to lift the cow up and down.
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We are the bringers of hatred! |
Admiral IceBlock
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Posted - 2004.03.16 12:50:00 -
[46]
What happens to the average IQ in Norway and Sweden if a dumb norwegian moves to Sweden?
It increases in both countries.
"We brake for nobody"
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Kyogen Steiner
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Posted - 2004.03.16 12:51:00 -
[47]
In the middle of the show, a guy stands up and yells at the ventriloquist, "HEY!
You've been making jokes about us Norwegian people enough! Cut it out!"
And the ventriloquist says, "Take it easy. They're only jokes!"
And the guy says, "I'm not talking to you, I'm talking to that little guy sitting on your knee!"
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We are the bringers of hatred! |
Admiral IceBlock
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Posted - 2004.03.16 12:53:00 -
[48]
A swede, a norwegian and a dane were arrested in France during the french revolution. They each got to choose which way they would die. The norwegian chose the guillotine, because he saw it as the latest fashion. His head went under, but the blade stopped 1 inch from his neck. The french saw this as a sign from God or something and decided to let him go. The same thing happened to the dane. Then they asked the swede how he wanted to die. "I think I'll die by hanging, that guillotine doesn't work anyway," he said
"We brake for nobody"
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Kyogen Steiner
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Posted - 2004.03.16 12:54:00 -
[49]
A Swede: Ole, stand in front of my car and tell me if my blinkers are working.
Norwegian: yes..no…yes…no…yes…no…yes…no…
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We are the bringers of hatred! |
Psy Corp
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Posted - 2004.03.16 12:54:00 -
[50]
a swede and a norwegain started to figth at a parking lot and then the swede drew a circile on the ground and shouted to the norwegain.
- now you stay within that circle or il knock you out!
then the swede went to the norwegain mans car and started to destroy it and when he was finished and had totaly destroyed the norwegains car he turnd around and saw the norwegain standing there laughing. so he asked him why.
- what are you laughing at?
- ive been outside the circle alot of times while you destroyed my car
I Have The Power Of The Mighty Lo.0lipop..
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Admiral IceBlock
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Posted - 2004.03.16 12:57:00 -
[51]
The Swedish mountaineer Sven Olsson, has stated in a press-conference that his attempt to climb over the sound-barrier has failed again.
"We brake for nobody"
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Kyogen Steiner
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Posted - 2004.03.16 12:58:00 -
[52]
What’s the happiest five years of a Norwegian’s life?
—First grade.
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We are the bringers of hatred! |
Psy Corp
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Posted - 2004.03.16 12:59:00 -
[53]
why do norwegains go in the middle of the road?
Cause there afraid of the wild flowers thats on the side of the road
I Have The Power Of The Mighty Lo.0lipop..
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Admiral IceBlock
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Posted - 2004.03.16 13:00:00 -
[54]
A norwegian and a swede were competing to see who could reach furthest out of a window. Quite suddenly the swede won.
"We brake for nobody"
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Psy Corp
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Posted - 2004.03.16 13:03:00 -
[55]
do you know how you sink a norwegain submarine?
you dive down to it and knock on it!
I Have The Power Of The Mighty Lo.0lipop..
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Admiral IceBlock
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Posted - 2004.03.16 13:05:00 -
[56]
A swedish space-scientist came running into the office of his norwegian colleague. "The swedes will be the first to send a manned spaceship to the sun," he said. The norwegian colleague responded, "But the temperature will be millions of degrees there!" The swede stood there for a few seconds thinking, then he said, "Oh, don't worry, we will be landing during the night."
"We brake for nobody"
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Psy Corp
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Posted - 2004.03.16 13:06:00 -
[57]
do you know how you sink the nowegain submarine again?
you simply dive down an knock on it again and they open and shout
- WE WONT FAL FOR THAT AGAIN!
I Have The Power Of The Mighty Lo.0lipop..
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Admiral IceBlock
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Posted - 2004.03.16 13:07:00 -
[58]
What do you get if you crossbreed a swede with an ape?
Another swede.
"We brake for nobody"
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Kyogen Steiner
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Posted - 2004.03.16 13:08:00 -
[59]
One foggy night off the southeastern coast of Sweden, a Norwegian battle ship received a radio signal in Swedish telling it to shift course 10 degrees to the east.
The Norwegian captain bristled, and replied that the sender should shift HIS course 10 degrees to the west!
Moments later the reply came telling the Norwegian ship to move 10 degrees to the east.
"I vil NOT!" screamed the captain. He turned to the radio operator and yelled, "Yu tell dat dumb Swede to shift 10 degrees to da west!"
Again came the reply to the Norwegian to shift his course 10 degrees to the east.
By now the captain was livid, and he signaled "NOW YU LOOK HERE, I AM A CAPTAIN ON A NORWEGIAN BATTLE SHIP, AND I AM TELLING YU TO SHIFT YOUR COURSE 10 DEGREES TO THE EAST IF YU KNOW WHAT'S GOOD FOR YOU!"
Moments later came the reply: "Yes well I am at the Swedish lighthouse and you will shift 10 degrees to the east, if yu know what's good for you
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We are the bringers of hatred! |
Psy Corp
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Posted - 2004.03.16 13:08:00 -
[60]
Do you know how you know that tarzan was norwegain?
simple hes the king of apes
I Have The Power Of The Mighty Lo.0lipop..
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