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Azrael Esangel
Angel of War Cursed Nemesis
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Posted - 2008.01.24 23:53:00 -
[1]
Ok so, i have a girlfriend, have been with her for about 2 months. the thing is she hates when i play EvE, she hates it when im even on a computer!
now im in a spot, i dont wanna stop playing eve (thats just rediculis) but i dont wanna drive her away for spending to much time on Eve, that hard part is its hard to achieve anything in eve when your time is very limited!
anyone got any idears? im sure theres a few married men out there that have this sorta problem. i will be thankful for any advice!
comical approaches also welcome :D
-Az --------------- "Vegeta what does the scouter say about Azraels DPS"...... "ITS OVER 9000!!!1!" |

Leilani Solaris
Gallente Auriga inc
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Posted - 2008.01.24 23:56:00 -
[2]
When i first started seeing my gf i never played eve when she was here but nowadays she doesn't mind. As long as i have teamspeak on speakers and tell her what i'm doing so she can at least follow a bit she's ok with it, although she does get annoyed if i spend hours on it and ignore her 
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ReaperOfSly
Gallente Lyrus Associates Enuma Elish.
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Posted - 2008.01.24 23:58:00 -
[3]
Just think of one of her pass-times that annoys you and tell her you'll give up Eve if she gives up said annoying pass-time.
Seriously though, you're not going to spend every waking moment with your girlfriend are you? Just play Eve when she's not around. --------------------------------------------------------------------
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Keorythe
Caldari Terra Rosa Militia Sev3rance
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Posted - 2008.01.25 00:11:00 -
[4]
First you have to ask yourself how much time you spend playing EvE per day. One or two, several, 12, etc? Compare that to what you would think is an excessive amount time in from of the old TV in one sitting. Go from there.
Second, how much time do you spend with your GF? Everyday, 3 times a week, 1 per week. Does she always have to hang with you? Does she give you free time to hang with your own friends? Does she demand she have time to hang with hers? Go from there.
There are just some relationships which aren't that healthy. If she hates you playing EvE then find out why. Does she think you are ignoring her? Does she think you're wasting your time playing a "silly game"? Does she want to micromanage her and everything you do?
She might be hawt but if she isn't willing to compromise on some things then you're better off looking for a new GF. And yes unless you are a complete hermit you can find another fairly easily.
You can always alt-tab and go to Date.com to fill out an application there while you're mining Veld. 
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Azrael Esangel
Angel of War Cursed Nemesis
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Posted - 2008.01.25 00:11:00 -
[5]
The thing is i live on a military base and... wel... i do spent most of my time with her, shes also military and she hangs in my barracks because it got the tv/queen bed/kitchen, so it does make it had to find time when shes not around...
chloriform? --------------- "Vegeta what does the scouter say about Azraels DPS"...... "ITS OVER 9000!!!1!" |

Khemical
Supernova Security Systems
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Posted - 2008.01.25 00:11:00 -
[6]
Just combine the two. Have her go down on you during a fleet op and make sure to have comms on the whole time.
Or not, but seriously, if she hates it that much, cut her loose and find someone who isn't so hardcore against it. If she hates eve and your time on the computer now, it isn't likely to get any better down the road.
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Azrael Esangel
Angel of War Cursed Nemesis
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Posted - 2008.01.25 00:15:00 -
[7]
well, she never really minded that much, theni had to do a fleet op which took up about 4 hours of my saturday, from then on its been hard. im down to playing about 1 solid hour if im lucky, its hard to get all the stuff you need to get done in 1 hour! --------------- "Vegeta what does the scouter say about Azraels DPS"...... "ITS OVER 9000!!!1!" |

Xen Gin
The Dragoons
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Posted - 2008.01.25 00:17:00 -
[8]
Just give the appearance that you are either cutting back or spending more time with her. Do things like, play eve every other day, but maybe play a bit longer, Buy her stuff etc etc
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Patch86
Di-Tron Heavy Industries Atlas Alliance
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Posted - 2008.01.25 00:27:00 -
[9]
Like Reaper said- just play it when she's not around. I bet my gf would be pretty ****ed if I played for hours and hours while she's about; I just play when she's not here.
And if there is never a time when she's not there,and you've only been going out for 2 months...well...you know what you've got to do... ------
Originally by: CCP Prism X There's no such thing as playing too much EvE! You all obviously need more accounts!
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Avery Fatwallet
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Posted - 2008.01.25 00:29:00 -
[10]
Originally by: Khemical Or not, but seriously, if she hates it that much, cut her loose and find someone who isn't so hardcore against it. If she hates eve and your time on the computer now, it isn't likely to get any better down the road.
i dunno.. it got better in my relationship... it wasnt easy... maybe im unlucky but i think most women (especially the younger ones) tend to be attention *****s. so anything that can steal your attention is THE EVIL.
just talk about it to her. that you love eve as much as other people love "real things" like puppies or meeting friends.
if she doesnt want to understand, no matter what, i guess youll have either some work or a new gf coming up.
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ReaperOfSly
Gallente Lyrus Associates Enuma Elish.
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Posted - 2008.01.25 00:31:00 -
[11]
Or just stop playing Eve. It's a computer game for goodness' sake. It's not worth it. --------------------------------------------------------------------
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Azrael Esangel
Angel of War Cursed Nemesis
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Posted - 2008.01.25 00:36:00 -
[12]
Originally by: ReaperOfSly Or just stop playing Eve. It's a computer game for goodness' sake. It's not worth it.
Never speak to me again.
seriously though i dont play it that much, but thats allready to much! might just have to start nanoeveing (laptop in bed midle of night/laptop in toilet taking a dump) --------------- "Vegeta what does the scouter say about Azraels DPS"...... "ITS OVER 9000!!!1!" |

Cybarite
Gallente Aristotle Enterprises
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Posted - 2008.01.25 00:48:00 -
[13]
convince her to make a trial account, one of my corpmates went that route, now she and him are working on revising our recruitment strategy.
If she thinks that EvE is silly and you should be doing something else for no apparent reson you may have to break it off, not because of EvE but because she'll never get you. If she thinks you're not doing enough with her coopt her into EvE then you'll be doing something you enjoy with her and you'll both be happy. ... Why do I PvP? Because I love the feeling I get when I see the pretty lights and know that someone somewhere is screaming incoherently at their computer screen. |

Malcanis
R.E.C.O.N. Black-Out
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Posted - 2008.01.25 01:17:00 -
[14]
Solid advice in this thread. At the end of the day, EvE is your hobby, just like fishing or cycling or whatever. She should respect that.
If you're spending every minute of your free time on the game, then yeah, cut back for your sake if not hers. If you're blowing off opportunities to go to the cinema/beach/dinner to play a game, then you're just mad. But if she's just watching TV or whatever, then what the hell - she's watching your channel, you're watching yours (yours just involves more mouse clicks).
CONCORD provide consequences, not safety; only you can do that. |

Riethe
Fine Goods for Fine Gentlemen
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Posted - 2008.01.25 01:30:00 -
[15]
My girlfriend is Chinese, so I'm teaching her how to fly a raven from belt to belt and farm ISK for me.
Actually, I haven't gotten her to sit down and play yet, but she's watched me play and she's let me install EVE on her laptop and such.
The point is, if a woman tries to change you and take away the things that make you happy, like hobbies and such, she doesn't deserve you or your company.
A woman that thinks she's going the be the sole source of happiness in your life is very naive. That kind of behavior or mentality should not be rewarded.
On the other hand, however, if your addiction to EVE is so strong that you're unable to take care of your girlfriend, mentally, physically, etc, then perhaps it is you that is not right for her.
It's your responsibility to maintain a certain amount of balance between your hobbies and your additions and your significant other, and it is her responsibility to respect your hobbies and additions as well.
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Maraude Fury
Minmatar Shadow Of The Light Scorched Earth Directive
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Posted - 2008.01.25 03:27:00 -
[16]
Edited by: Maraude Fury on 25/01/2008 03:29:06 How would she react if you threatened to leave her over her watching TV.
EVE is just a hobby. All hobby's take time.
Would she rather you were down at the local strip club slipping loonies and toonies into the strippers....uhm..
anyways. If she is annoyed at the time that you are spending in eve, and not with her, that's one thing. If She's expecting to get more then 50% of your free time, that's another.
You've only been going out 2 months. Easy to break it off with her. Women are easy to come by. Good ones are harder to find. The GREAT ones, will come along only a few times in your life.
Myself, my Wife is happy that I'm at home, on the computer, where she knows where I am/what I'm spending my money on, and not down at the local bar/club where she has no idea what I do.
I could be like a lot of the guys I know, who spend 2-3 nights a week down at the local bar with thier buddies.
Tell your GF that EVE(And MMO/Games in general) are part of your life. And if she can't deal with that, then you have no future together.
**EDIT A loonie is slang for a Canadian one doller coin, as it had a picture of a Loon(A bird) on it when it first came out. A Toonnie is slang for a Canadian 2 doller coin. Named because of it's denomination.
Dictator: Scorched Earth Directive Alliance Dictator: Shadow Of The Light Corp
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Azrael Esangel
Angel of War Cursed Nemesis
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Posted - 2008.01.25 03:51:00 -
[17]
Solid advice here guys,
i dont play to much eve, and i love the game alot, keep the advice flowing in guys!
some of its funny as hell!
im sure there a few of us out there that can use the advice!
-points for epic advice failures --------------- "Vegeta what does the scouter say about Azraels DPS"...... "ITS OVER 9000!!!1!" |

Alvar Ursidae
Amarr Oceanic Soldiers of Fortune Black Scope Project
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Posted - 2008.01.25 04:08:00 -
[18]
She needs to accept you for you, as you are. If she is trying to change you, talk to her, and see if it's worth it. I have been with my wife now for 16 years, and she and I have different interests, and they give both uf us 'US' time. We do a lot together, but relationships also need space to grow.
So if she can't accept you have friends in the game, and use it for what ever reasons you use it for apart from fun itself, then she needs to understand and accept it's part of you.
And if she can't then maybe go find someone who will not only respect you for who you are and what you do, but might appreciate it. Worst thing that happens is you get to bang this girl for a while, have a good time, and then find someone else to go out with who is either cool that you play eve, or cooler: plays eve as well.
I am guessing you are younger in age than older, so it's not a major concern.
I do sigs and stuff...http://alvar.eve-stuff.net |

SeismicForce
Clear Horizon Industries
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Posted - 2008.01.25 07:40:00 -
[19]
Or get one that goes to bed by 21:30 because she has to get up at 5:30. That way you can play for a few hours before you go to bed 
Originally by: Allisie In a recent interview, a dev mentioned that ships and skills cause lag and will be removed in EVE 2.
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mamolian
Eternity INC. Mercenary Coalition
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Posted - 2008.01.25 08:21:00 -
[20]
Argument I use..
If I was sitting watching TV all day there'd be no "problem".. so stfu about eve mmkay? 
-----------
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Fink Angel
Caldari The Merry Men
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Posted - 2008.01.25 09:09:00 -
[21]
My tip is you need to both have your own space to an extent.
Keep it reasonable, and like others have said, tell her it's a hobby like fishing, or watching TV, or whatever other things blokes do. If she isn't happy with that then bring out the big guns ... you aren't drinking, gambling, taking drugs, down the strip joint etc. etc.
Ultimately you have to think that if she takes you away from something you love doing after two months, where does it stop? Do you not get to do anything you want to do for the rest of your life or what?
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Shameless Avenger
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Posted - 2008.01.25 09:18:00 -
[22]
After 18 years of marriage and 3 wives I can tell you this:
Every time you find some hobby that you like and makes you happy, your girl will hate it. They will hate it just because you like it. They want your exclusive attention and will try to destroy ANY competition.
The only 'tip' I can give you is to play when she's not around. Get a night shift if you wanna go extreme.
There are of course exceptions. I have seen wives who play eve with their husbands every day and PvP real good too. But your chances are slim.
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ry ry
StateCorp The State
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Posted - 2008.01.25 09:36:00 -
[23]
Originally by: Azrael Esangel Ok so, i have a girlfriend, have been with her for about 2 months. the thing is she hates when i play EvE, she hates it when im even on a computer!
now im in a spot, i dont wanna stop playing eve (thats just rediculis) but i dont wanna drive her away for spending to much time on Eve, that hard part is its hard to achieve anything in eve when your time is very limited!
anyone got any idears? im sure theres a few married men out there that have this sorta problem. i will be thankful for any advice!
comical approaches also welcome :D
-Az
have a couple of computer game nights a week, and the others spend with her. it's only a computergame. [IMAGE REMOVED] |

Miss Anthropy
The Greater Goon GoonSwarm
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Posted - 2008.01.25 09:41:00 -
[24]
Edited by: Miss Anthropy on 25/01/2008 09:42:24
Originally by: ReaperOfSly Or just stop playing Eve. It's a computer game for goodness' sake. It's not worth it.
Why should he have to quit a hobby for some nag who doesn't have a life of her own? The only reason she doesn't like EVE is because it distracts the OP from giving her attention; which implies that she's needy and insecure.
I'd dump her and find someone who doesn't need constant attention to make them feel good about themselves. Trust me, I've been here; you can give up all your hobbies and friends but it will NEVER make this girl happy. She's a leech.
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Xtreem
Gallente Knockaround Guys Inc. Privateer Alliance
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Posted - 2008.01.25 09:46:00 -
[25]
just do what i did..
my gf is called eve (really!!) and i played eve (the game now) alot.. she used to complain i never went out with her, i went out more with her, met her firends 2 of her friends started to "like" me, i hung around with them more, even without my gf, she hated it, now she activily encourages me to stay in and play eve so she can keep on eye on me!
hell she even asks if iv killed anything and any good loot.. bless she does try :)
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Riethe
Fine Goods for Fine Gentlemen
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Posted - 2008.01.25 10:10:00 -
[26]
Originally by: Shameless Avenger After 18 years of marriage and 3 wives I can tell you this:
Every time you find some hobby that you like and makes you happy, your girl will hate it. They will hate it just because you like it. They want your exclusive attention and will try to destroy ANY competition.
The only 'tip' I can give you is to play when she's not around. Get a night shift if you wanna go extreme.
There are of course exceptions. I have seen wives who play eve with their husbands every day and PvP real good too. But your chances are slim.
I'd say considering this guy has been married at least 3 times suggests you don't heed his advice.
I think the fact that you've been through so many marriages and had so many similar experiences just shows that you've been picking the wrong women.
If your woman demands all your attention and hates you being happy for any other reason than her, then she is far too codependent, needy, and insecure.
Either you never paid any attention to your wives, or all the wives you've picked have been bad seeds.
My woman does her own thing, has her own stuff going on, and doesn't mind me doing my own things separately as well, including playing EVE. She gets her attention and the relationship is kept healthy and active, mentally and physically.
There's no reason to give up your things for her.
Originally by: Xtreem just do what i did..
my gf is called eve (really!!) and i played eve (the game now) alot.. she used to complain i never went out with her, i went out more with her, met her firends 2 of her friends started to "like" me, i hung around with them more, even without my gf, she hated it, now she activily encourages me to stay in and play eve so she can keep on eye on me!
hell she even asks if iv killed anything and any good loot.. bless she does try :)
And you don't even realize how bad your relationship is from this?
Look at it. First, she's insecure because you give too much attention to your computer, so she convinces you to back off of that and go out with her.
Then, she's insecure that you're spending too much time with OTHER PEOPLE, and then settles for the "lesser" insecurity that she has, which is your internet space ships.
You guys aren't helping him at all. I don't know how anyone can think these things are remotely normal.
Yes, relationships involve a lot of compromise. But hobbies in moderation and actively enjoying yourself, SEPARATELY from your significant other, is completely normal.
You don't have to spend every waking moment with your girlfriend, and if she thinks you do, your need to explain to her that you're two separate people, and you'd never try to take anything away from her, so why is she trying to do that to you?
If she does not fully consider and act on the discussion you have with her, it's time to pack up and move on. Never settle, there are 6 billion other people to choose from.
I guarantee there is someone else that is mature enough to understand you need time for yourself too.
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Xtreem
Gallente Knockaround Guys Inc. Privateer Alliance
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Posted - 2008.01.25 11:30:00 -
[27]
Originally by: Riethe lots of text
wow long reply there! yeah it is insecure, and we been together for 3 years and been friends for 10 and im her brothers best friend for 20 years.. so she knows me inside out, no matter what i do she is insecure so i'm just myself.. works best
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Arvald
Caldari Devilish Intentinos
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Posted - 2008.01.25 16:11:00 -
[28]
Edited by: Arvald on 25/01/2008 16:10:48 umm...heres a stupid question...>_>..<_<....why are you playing eve instead of having sex?
Originally by: Richard Phallus
go and get someone to take a golf club and take a good swing at your nuts by surprise when you walk into a dark room some time. This will prepare you for eve's pvp
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Maltitol
Gallente Tides of Silence Hydra Alliance
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Posted - 2008.01.25 16:33:00 -
[29]
women come and go.. however if you are really interestedin contiuning to tap it, i suggest just log in to change skills, and keep her happy... then 6mth to 1yr down the road (if you havent gotten tires of the same old... thing), then slowly login and do what you need to..
POON comes first 
Originally by: CCP Wrangler Well boohoo
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Leilani Solaris
Gallente Auriga inc
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Posted - 2008.01.25 16:46:00 -
[30]
Originally by: Riethe My girlfriend is Chinese, so I'm teaching her how to fly a raven from belt to belt and farm ISK for me.
Rofl 
I just reported your post by accident, sorry. Bloody forum.
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