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Planks
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Posted - 2008.06.06 22:49:00 -
[1]
Edited by: Planks on 06/06/2008 22:51:12 Garmon will be back. A new religion is dawning. Watch this predictably empty thread for more details...11!1onebbq
edit - written late and drunk
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Death4free
The Social Engineering Society
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Posted - 2008.06.06 22:58:00 -
[2]
god doesnt exist
but if he did garmon would kick his ass Eve information kiosk
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Vladimir Norkoff
Income Redistribution Service
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Posted - 2008.06.06 23:04:00 -
[3]
Testament of the Battleboat: The Returnz of Garmon - Ch17:v16-25
I saw heaven standing open and there before me was a white Rupture, whose Pilot is called Faithful and True. With justice He judges and makes war. His eyes are like blazing fire, and on His head are many crowns. He has a name written on Him that no one but He Himself knows. He is dressed in a robe dipped in blood, and His name is the Word of God. The armies of heaven were following Him, flying white ships and dressed in fine linen, white and clean. Out of His mouth comes a sharp minging laser with which to strike down the nations. "He will rule them with an iron scepter." He treads the winepress of the fury of the wrath of God Almighty. On His pod and on His thigh He has this name written: KING OF KINGS AND LORD OF LORDS. And I saw the angel Planks standing in the sun, who cried in a loud voice to all the birds flying in midair, "Come, gather together for the great supper of God, so that you may eat the flesh of kings, generals, and mighty men, of horses and their riders, and the flesh of all people, free and slave, small and great." Then I saw the beast and the kings of the earth and their armies gathered together to make war against the Pilot in the Rupture and His army. But the beast was captured, and with him the false prophet who had performed the miraculous signs on his behalf. With these signs he had deluded those who had received the mark of the beast and worshiped his image. The two of them were thrown alive into the fiery lake of burning sulfur. The rest of them were killed with the mining laser that came out of the mouth of the Pilot in the Rupture, and all the birds gorged themselves on their flesh.
Taxman V: Back in Black
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MegaMarkets
Heretic Army
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Posted - 2008.06.06 23:08:00 -
[4]
That is AWESOME vlad!
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Triksterism
Image Not Found Coalition of the Chillin
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Posted - 2008.06.06 23:16:00 -
[5]
Originally by: Death4free god doesnt exist
but if he did garmon would kick his ass
This. But I feel we should all extend our praise to the Garmon for he offers salvation in the form of Hail M. ---------------------------------------
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Shiodome
Heretic Army Heretic Nation
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Posted - 2008.06.06 23:44:00 -
[6]
Hail M, full of grace, the Lord Garmon is with thee; blessed art thou amongst pirates, and blessed is the fruit of thy 220mm AC. Holy Garmon, Brother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen. You DIK!
amidoingitright?
_____________________________________ today i am this cool: [uncool]================[*]====[cool]
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Planks
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Posted - 2008.06.07 00:17:00 -
[7]
Yu certainly r doing it right
lik i say garmon will manifest its holy self soown in the fewture. He have given me message. be redy all fathefull folowers of garmonism. for he will speaketh soon tm (in avi format) Garmonites prepar for our day of rising. when the blessed words 'NO U' are uttered we shall rise and be all powerfilled
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DoombringingAltofDoom
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Posted - 2008.06.07 00:19:00 -
[8]
In before the carnage.
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Benny Honna
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Posted - 2008.06.07 00:27:00 -
[9]
Edited by: Benny Honna on 07/06/2008 00:29:31 Edited by: Benny Honna on 07/06/2008 00:27:40 Our Garmon, who art in station Hallowed be thy name Thy time has come Thy ban is done On Earth as it is in New Eden Give us this day, our daily thread And forgive us our smacktalking As we forgive those that smacktalk against us And lead us not into 0.0 But deliver us from Mitnal
For thine is the kingdome, the power and the trolling are yours, now and forever
Amen
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Planks
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Posted - 2008.06.07 00:30:00 -
[10]
Originally by: Benny Honna Edited by: Benny Honna on 07/06/2008 00:27:40 Our Garmon, who art in station Hallowed be thy name Thy time has come Thy ban is done On Earth as it is in New Eden Give us this day, our daily thread And forgive us our smacktalking As we forgive those that smacktalk against us And lead us not into 0.0 But deliver us from Mitnal
Amen
benny, pleas tell me this int copyrited. for such a prayer must feture in the forthcoming moveh of our lord the garmon. you show promis as a garmonite my son. to stop this beutifal preyer being mass published woulod be a sin and garmon may smite the
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Benny Honna
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Posted - 2008.06.07 00:40:00 -
[11]
Go fourth and proliferate said prayer for this is a call to the masses.
A gift for all to take part and rejoice in the beautiful gifts of joy and exuberance that the holy Garmon bestows upon us all.
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Sergei Andropov
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Posted - 2008.06.07 00:42:00 -
[12]
What a load of poppycock.
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Nomrag
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Posted - 2008.06.07 00:43:00 -
[13]
Edited by: Nomrag on 07/06/2008 00:43:32
Originally by: Sergei Andropov What a load of poppycock.
FUK U DIK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Sergei Andropov
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Posted - 2008.06.07 00:44:00 -
[14]
Originally by: Nomrag
Originally by: Sergei Andropov What a load of poppycock.
fuk u dik
Oh noes, the illiterati come out to play \o/
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MegaMarkets
Heretic Army
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Posted - 2008.06.07 00:45:00 -
[15]
if ur not belivir of garmonism **** OFF
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Planks
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Posted - 2008.06.07 00:47:00 -
[16]
Originally by: Sergei Andropov What a load of poppycock.
Dost THOU Wish to be BANNISHED to the drone regens??
Dost thy want for a plague of macro howlers?
For surely it is ritten in book of garmon 'and those that can not belive must surely be punished by flames and trolls and autocannon wit hail you git.'
however the lard garmon is mercifull and u may get this 1 opertunity to repent. repent now or forever suffer thy punishmint
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Sergei Andropov
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Posted - 2008.06.07 00:47:00 -
[17]
Originally by: MegaMarkets if ur not belivir of garmonism **** OFF
Hehe...sir, I'm more offended by the fact that your epithet is UNCENSORED in the reply box! Besides, if this faith is robust it can withstand criticism from one lonely person
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Sergei Andropov
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Posted - 2008.06.07 00:50:00 -
[18]
Originally by: Planks
Originally by: Sergei Andropov What a load of poppycock.
Dost THOU Wish to be BANNISHED to the drone regens??
Dost thy want for a plague of macro howlers?
For surely it is ritten in book of garmon 'and those that can not belive must surely be punished by flames and trolls and autocannon wit hail you git.'
however the lard garmon is mercifull and u may get this 1 opertunity to repent. repent now or forever suffer thy punishmint
Where is your God now? I would like to meet him in a cordial setting, for tea and whatnot ;)
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Benny Honna
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Posted - 2008.06.07 00:50:00 -
[19]
HEATHENS! You must all repent!
Pray with me now:
Lord Garmon, We have sinned against you; We have done evil in your sight. We are sorry and repent. Have mercy on us according to your love. Wash away our wrongdoing and cleanse us from our sin. Renew a right spirit within us and restore us to the joy of your salvation, through you, our Lord. Amen.
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Planks
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Posted - 2008.06.07 00:52:00 -
[20]
Sergei you tread a dangerous path.
You can choose the everlove of garmon or you may peril.
It int a hard chois but sometime pepol are dumb so i point u to right way
(chose garmonism)
You think i mess about? THIS IS RELIGION THERE IS NO BLACK OR WHITE
THIS IS ITERNITY WE SPEAK OF U BETTER CHOSE RITE OR I WILL KIK YOUR HED IN AS ALL RELIGION IS ALOWED TO DO(IN GAME)
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Benny Honna
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Posted - 2008.06.07 00:54:00 -
[21]
LET THE GARMON INQUISITUION BEGIN!!
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Sergei Andropov
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Posted - 2008.06.07 00:55:00 -
[22]
Originally by: Planks Sergei you tread a dangerous path.
You can choose the everlove of garmon or you may peril.
It int a hard chois but sometime pepol are dumb so i point u to right way
(chose garmonism)
You think i mess about? THIS IS RELIGION THERE IS NO BLACK OR WHITE
THIS IS ITERNITY WE SPEAK OF U BETTER CHOSE RITE OR I WILL KIK YOUR HED IN AS ALL RELIGION IS ALOWED TO DO(IN GAME)
I'm intrigued! Tell me more of this faith - would Garmon, for instance, be able to overpower my god Ahura Mazda of the Zoroastrian faith?? Tell me tales of deitic combat, Planks, and I will become a believer, surely
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Dotard
Suddenly Samurai
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Posted - 2008.06.07 00:57:00 -
[23]
Edited by: Dotard on 07/06/2008 01:00:12 In after the carnage has begun.
--------------- Nerf You! Buff Me!
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Benny Honna
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Posted - 2008.06.07 01:01:00 -
[24]
Originally by: Dotard
In after the carnage has begun.
Carnage is the least of your worries since Garmon will bring armageddon upon all you non-believers
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Sergei Andropov
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Posted - 2008.06.07 01:03:00 -
[25]
Originally by: Benny Honna
Originally by: Dotard
In after the carnage has begun.
Carnage is the least of your worries since Garmon will bring armageddon upon all you non-believers
Until I see proof to the contrary, I will believe that Garmon cannot do anything because he is trussed up like a prize turkey in some dingy basement!
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Planks
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Posted - 2008.06.07 01:05:00 -
[26]
Originally by: Sergei Andropov I'm intrigued! Tell me more of this faith - would Garmon, for instance, be able to overpower my god Ahura Mazda of the Zoroastrian faith?? Tell me tales of deitic combat, Planks, and I will become a believer, surely[/quote
Quite simply, Yes. Garmon could pwn ahura mazda. As for deitic combat you will have to wait until the lord (HALLOWED BE THY NAME OH GARMON) has spaketh through me through the medium of moveh. I do not expect mortals to understand just yet, but nonetheless, Garmon shall return and thru me, Jesus Garmon, his child to a virgin mother, the truth shall be told and it shall be the ultimate truth
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Benny Honna
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Posted - 2008.06.07 01:06:00 -
[27]
Originally by: Sergei Andropov Until I see proof to the contrary, I will believe that Garmon cannot do anything because he is trussed up like a prize turkey in some dingy basement!
Dost thou hast thy need to place thine fingers into Garmons blessed wounds and jiggle them about?
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Sergei Andropov
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Posted - 2008.06.07 01:06:00 -
[28]
Originally by: Planks
Originally by: Sergei Andropov I'm intrigued! Tell me more of this faith - would Garmon, for instance, be able to overpower my god Ahura Mazda of the Zoroastrian faith?? Tell me tales of deitic combat, Planks, and I will become a believer, surely[/quote
Quite simply, Yes. Garmon could pwn ahura mazda. As for deitic combat you will have to wait until the lord (HALLOWED BE THY NAME OH GARMON) has spaketh through me through the medium of moveh. I do not expect mortals to understand just yet, but nonetheless, Garmon shall return and thru me, Jesus Garmon, his child to a virgin mother, the truth shall be told and it shall be the ultimate truth
Ok...now you are creating a theological synthesis and have shifted the goalposts! Water into wine or somesuch, or the "heathens" continue their rampage against false prophets!
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Sergei Andropov
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Posted - 2008.06.07 01:07:00 -
[29]
Originally by: Benny Honna
Originally by: Sergei Andropov Until I see proof to the contrary, I will believe that Garmon cannot do anything because he is trussed up like a prize turkey in some dingy basement!
Dost thou hast thy need to place thine fingers into Garmons blessed wounds and jiggle them about?
A little - one must check that those are, indeed, wounds and not the aftermath of a particularly messy fast food accident (as I hear Garmon is wont to do!)
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Planks
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Posted - 2008.06.07 01:14:00 -
[30]
Originally by: Sergei Andropov
Originally by: Benny Honna
Originally by: Sergei Andropov Until I see proof to the contrary, I will believe that Garmon cannot do anything because he is trussed up like a prize turkey in some dingy basement!
Dost thou hast thy need to place thine fingers into Garmons blessed wounds and jiggle them about?
A little - one must check that those are, indeed, wounds and not the aftermath of a particularly messy fast food accident (as I hear Garmon is wont to do!)
NO U!
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