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Captain Stupid
The Jeremy Kyle Holding Pen
1
   |
Posted - 2012.03.21 17:08:00 -
[1] - Quote
In honour of the thread by the clever boffin Tsadkiel, perhaps I can help with those unimportant questions that have nothing to do with particle physics.
Ask away!
|
Micheal Dietrich
Standards and Practices
142
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Posted - 2012.03.21 17:21:00 -
[2] - Quote
If Chuck Norris were to fight himself, who would win? |
Telegram Sam
The Drones Club
240
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Posted - 2012.03.21 17:31:00 -
[3] - Quote
Which is smartest: chimps, dolphins or Paris Hilton? |
Liam Mirren
335
|
Posted - 2012.03.21 18:14:00 -
[4] - Quote
What is the average air speed of an unladen swallow?
Excellence is not a skill, it's an attitude.
My guides: http://mirren.freeforums.org |
So Sensational
Ventures
11
|
Posted - 2012.03.21 18:34:00 -
[5] - Quote
Liam Mirren wrote:What is the average air speed of an unladen swallow?
An unladen swallow flies as fast as an unladen swallow cares to fly. |
Micheal Dietrich
Standards and Practices
142
|
Posted - 2012.03.21 18:39:00 -
[6] - Quote
So Sensational wrote:Liam Mirren wrote:What is the average air speed of an unladen swallow? An unladen swallow flies as fast as an unladen swallow cares to fly.
Wrong answer! You are supposed to ask if he is referring to an African or European Swallow. |
Cpt Syrinx
Jovian Labs
Jovian Enterprises
30
|
Posted - 2012.03.21 19:25:00 -
[7] - Quote
How does it feel? |
Adunh Slavy
Ammatar Trade Syndicate
377
|
Posted - 2012.03.21 19:26:00 -
[8] - Quote
Micheal Dietrich wrote:So Sensational wrote:Liam Mirren wrote:What is the average air speed of an unladen swallow? An unladen swallow flies as fast as an unladen swallow cares to fly. Wrong answer! You are supposed to ask if he is referring to an African or European Swallow.
They both swallow, if it was a good date. |
Indahmawar Fazmarai
The I and F Taxation Trust
346
|
Posted - 2012.03.21 20:36:00 -
[9] - Quote
I would ask to you, but I don't know how to post a message in a forum.
EVE residents: 5% Wormholes; 8% Lowsec; 20% Nullsec; 67% Highsec.
CSM 6: 100% non-Highsec residents.
Change that! Vote Issler Dainze for CSM7!
http://community.eveonline.com/council/voting/Vote.asp?c=470 |
Captain Stupid
The Jeremy Kyle Holding Pen
1
|
Posted - 2012.03.21 21:02:00 -
[10] - Quote
Wow, I go out for a little and so many questions. Ok here I will try to answer.
The fight between Chuck Norris and himself would never happen, as he is blue to himself. Of course, if it was an evil doppelganger then the evil Chuck would win. We pray this never happens.
In order of smartness, Dolphins >>> Chimps >>> Anything else >>> Me >>> Paris Hilton
As has already been mentioned, the question regarding swallows can only be answered when specifying if it is African or European. This difference is very important. I even asked Siri, and he said the same thing.
How does it feel? Well, it feels great.
Keep em coming! |
Something Random
The Barrow Boys
133
|
Posted - 2012.03.21 21:23:00 -
[11] - Quote
Can i sue my shadow for stalking ?
"caught on fire a little bit, just a little."
"Delinquents, check, weirdos, check, hippies, check, pillheads, check, freaks, check, potheads, check .....gangsn++ all here!" |
Micheal Dietrich
Standards and Practices
144
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Posted - 2012.03.21 21:35:00 -
[12] - Quote
Where does the other sock go? |
Cpt Syrinx
Jovian Labs
Jovian Enterprises
30
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Posted - 2012.03.21 21:45:00 -
[13] - Quote
If you're going 60mph, how long does it take you to cover 60 miles? |
So Sensational
Ventures
12
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Posted - 2012.03.21 22:04:00 -
[14] - Quote
Cpt Syrinx wrote:If you're going 60mph, how long does it take you to cover 60 miles?
I heard you cut that in half, so 2 hours? |
Mike Bear
State War Academy
Caldari State
0
|
Posted - 2012.03.21 22:22:00 -
[15] - Quote
If there are so many Communists, how come there aren't more communes? How come every time I see a communist he's try to confiscate my capital, instead of trying to produce something, he's (OR she) is just trying to snatch the production of others? TY in advance. |
Nerath Naaris
Pink Winged Unicorns for Peace Love and Anarchy
86
|
Posted - 2012.03.21 22:59:00 -
[16] - Quote
Is Rainbow Dash lesbian, bi or straight?
Unbanned since 2011.10.20. |
Captain Stupid
The Jeremy Kyle Holding Pen
1
|
Posted - 2012.03.22 08:25:00 -
[17] - Quote
Ok, so after a good nights sleep, I now have more to answer so here goes.
Something Randomn: Actually, you and the shadow are both victims here. The sun is the entity that should be sued on this occasion. Can you? Well, it depends where you are. If you are in America, the land of the sue anyone/anything, then of course you can! If not, I am afraid you can't.
Michael Dietrich: There are many theories on this, the "sock monster" being the favourite. However, the grim reality, is they usually end up snagged in something else, like boxer shorts, or inside a t-shirt.
Cpt Syrinx: The clue is in the meaning of the acronym really. MPH stands for miles per hour, so the answer here, is an hour.
So sensational: You heard incorrectly, you should stick to Stupid for your sources.
Mike Bear: Communism is an axis of evil and the very ideal of sharing is not true. Well, actually, it is kinda, but only amongst the elite. A little known fact (aka probably madeup by me) is nuns used to be communist too, until one day they changed to totalitarian, and thus communes were no longer associated with communism. Josef Stalin apparently liked to dress as a nun in his spare time also.
Nerath Naaris: She is a groupie with a pet called "Tank". I think from this we can be certain she is lesbian, and I can even put my neck on the line and be more specific, she's the "man of the couple" who wears the comfy shoes. |
Cpt Syrinx
Jovian Labs
Jovian Enterprises
30
|
Posted - 2012.03.22 09:02:00 -
[18] - Quote
your amount of stupid disappoints I'm afraid |
Whitehound
4
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Posted - 2012.03.22 12:46:00 -
[19] - Quote
Does the ignorance over our reality lead to questions? |
Obax Bannon
Fidelis Technologies
55
|
Posted - 2012.03.22 13:42:00 -
[20] - Quote
If a cat always lands on its feet, and buttered bread always lands butter side down, what would happen if you tied buttered bread on top of a cat? |
Micheal Dietrich
Standards and Practices
156
|
Posted - 2012.03.22 13:46:00 -
[21] - Quote
If 666 is the sign of evil does that mean that 25.8 is the square root of all evil? |
Captain Stupid
The Jeremy Kyle Holding Pen
1
|
Posted - 2012.03.22 15:40:00 -
[22] - Quote
Again, some interesting questions, that shall of course be answered from my "unique" stupid perspective.
Whitehound - Quite the opposite actually. The very nature of existence, coupled with our self awareness can only lead to more questions!
Obax Bannon - Now, I have discussed this on a drunken night in the pub once and have a great theory. This is actually the answer to perpetual motion. You see, as you are correctly leading towards, is the fact cats and buttered sides always land face down. So, as you drop the cat, there will be a conflict of interest, and both will try to face down, resulting in the cat rotating just above ground. Now this where the fun begins, placing several of these "buttered toast cats" in a row will give a long line of rotating cats, thus providing a platform of perpetual motion, and free energy (scientists have not yet experimented with taxidermised cats yet though) for moving things. We could even power trains with this.
Michael Dietrich - Not quite, as 25.8 squared is only 665.64, so therefore 25.8 is possibly classified as "quite evil" only.
Keep them coming! |
Telegram Sam
The Drones Club
242
|
Posted - 2012.03.22 17:00:00 -
[23] - Quote
Why do you always find something in the last place you look? |
Captain Stupid
The Jeremy Kyle Holding Pen
1
|
Posted - 2012.03.22 17:22:00 -
[24] - Quote
Telegram Sam wrote:Why do you always find something in the last place you look?
Well, to continue looking once you find it would be silly!
|
Kevin Zanjoahir
Hedion University
Amarr Empire
0
|
Posted - 2012.03.25 08:03:00 -
[25] - Quote
Why am I asking this question?
|
Captain Stupid
The Jeremy Kyle Holding Pen
2
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Posted - 2012.03.25 19:45:00 -
[26] - Quote
Kevin Zanjoahir wrote:Why am I asking this question?
The answer to this may vary, generally depending on what I have had to drink.
As I am in one of my rare sober situations, the answer is thus: you ask because the invisible man holding the invisible gun to your head told you to.
Next! |
Kevin Zanjoahir
The Craniac
The Aurora Shadow
0
|
Posted - 2012.03.26 14:05:00 -
[27] - Quote
Would you like to declare an expression of a longing to be included within the congregation of many individuals in a desire to converse, said congregation identified sometimes as a whole as plural bamboo subsisting mammalians noted for their monochromatic colors and cuteness?
|
Whitehound
11
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Posted - 2012.03.26 18:16:00 -
[28] - Quote
Something that has annoyed me for many years ... why do my feet smell? |
Captain Stupid
The Jeremy Kyle Holding Pen
9
|
Posted - 2012.03.28 19:31:00 -
[29] - Quote
Again, some intersting questions!
Kevin Zanjoahir : My current crop of friends and family mean it is not important that I am included in anyones group. Regarding the theory of animals and monochromatic views, I have a theory. (unsurpsrisingly). If animals can not see colour, why does nature use a colour coded danger system? No denying that pandas are cute though.
Whitehound: I once had this problem, believe it or not. I used to work for a well known toy company (they had a backwards "R" in the name) and was on my feet a lot. One day my manager said, and I quote "your feet hum". So I set about investigating this. Turns out I had 2 problems, firstly, my feet were not dry. You must keep your feet dry. Use Scholl athletes foot powder, it is superb. And secondly, use good shoes. Never skimp on the wheels. If you are wearing man made fibres, you are in trouble. Your shoes need to be good quality leather.
Hope that helps! |
Tyler Rainez
4
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Posted - 2012.03.29 04:58:00 -
[30] - Quote
In the song "Stairway to Heaven" by Led Zeppelin, if played backwards what does it really say? |
Whitehound
12
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Posted - 2012.03.29 06:17:00 -
[31] - Quote
Really good answers.
Another question that has bothered me a lot: why do I grow hair around my anus? |
FloppieTheBanjoClown
The Skunkworks
1205
|
Posted - 2012.03.29 14:14:00 -
[32] - Quote
Kevin Zanjoahir wrote:Why am I asking this question?
Alzheimer's.
It's time to put an end to CCP's war on piracy. Fight your own battles and stop asking CCP to do it for you. |
FloppieTheBanjoClown
The Skunkworks
1205
|
Posted - 2012.03.29 14:15:00 -
[33] - Quote
Whitehound wrote:Another question that has bothered me a lot: why do I grow hair around my anus?
So that when you go bald, the doctors have hairs to transplant to your head.
It's time to put an end to CCP's war on piracy. Fight your own battles and stop asking CCP to do it for you. |
Captain Stupid
The Jeremy Kyle Holding Pen
9
|
Posted - 2012.03.29 19:21:00 -
[34] - Quote
First of all, thanks to Floppie, for the help, but don't worry I got this.
Tyler: there is a popular myth that if you play "stairway to heaven" backwards it contains satanic messages. This is not true. Actually, it transmits subliminal messages to you to go and buy a happy meal. Yes, you heard me, a happy meal. McDonalds have advertised subliminally for years, and the fact they get away with it is a scandal.
Whitehound: Well, here is thre thing. There are these mythical beings, called "Dingleberry Monsters". They eat the dingleberry's created by human poo. Trouble is, the hair is needed to allow the poo to collect around the anus, and the forming of a "dingleberry" happens. Never shave it, or they will perish. |
Kevin Zanjoahir
The Craniac
The Aurora Shadow
1
|
Posted - 2012.03.30 14:34:00 -
[35] - Quote
What mood are you in?
|
Captain Stupid
The Jeremy Kyle Holding Pen
9
|
Posted - 2012.03.30 17:59:00 -
[36] - Quote
Kevin Zanjoahir wrote:What mood are you in?
Kevin, the fact you ask this is touching. Your query regarding my welfare really makes me feel all soft and gooey.
To answer, as I type this, I have finished work for the day, and am not back until Tuesday afternoon. I have plenty of cold beers in the fridge and it is sunny. I am, therefore, in an utterly SUPERB mood.
More questions please! |
2bhammered
Perkone
Caldari State
78
|
Posted - 2012.03.30 18:03:00 -
[37] - Quote
Who is more fuckable today? Halle Berry or Angelina joli and what was hotter? Halle berry naked in monster or Jolis lesbian nake scene?
Or is Paris Hilton better in both regards??? |
Nova Fox
Novafox Shipyards
3600
|
Posted - 2012.03.30 18:20:00 -
[38] - Quote
If train leaving Los Angels heading to new york and a train from new york left to LA a year before when would they collide?
|
Whitehound
13
|
Posted - 2012.03.30 18:51:00 -
[39] - Quote
Why is that CCP does not know the difference between a new experience and a good experience? |
Captain Stupid
The Jeremy Kyle Holding Pen
9
|
Posted - 2012.03.30 19:10:00 -
[40] - Quote
2bhammered : This is very easy to answer. Halle Berry is waaay more "fuckable" then Jolie. Angelina Jolie is just a weird marriage breaking *****. Paris Hilton is an interesting twist. I would like to "take her up the Arsenal" to see if she could cope, but maybe that is just me.
Nova : Unless one of the trains enters some kind of pseudo cosmic antimatter rip in the space time continuum, they will never collide.
Whitehound : Everyone knows that this game now only exists to supply Hilmar with $1000 japanese jeans, so I cannot help here sadly. |
THE L0CK
Republic Military School
Minmatar Republic
126
|
Posted - 2012.03.30 19:24:00 -
[41] - Quote
2bhammered wrote:Who is more fuckable today? Halle Berry or Angelina joli and what was hotter? Halle berry naked in monster or Jolis lesbian nake scene?
Or is Paris Hilton better in both regards???
I never thought you had much taste and that last line easily proved it. How do you even justify a comparison between the halfwit boobless anorexic to the likes of Halle and Angelina?
Do you smell what the Lock's cooking? |
2bhammered
Perkone
Caldari State
78
|
Posted - 2012.03.30 19:53:00 -
[42] - Quote
THE L0CK wrote:2bhammered wrote:Who is more fuckable today? Halle Berry or Angelina joli and what was hotter? Halle berry naked in monster or Jolis lesbian nake scene?
Or is Paris Hilton better in both regards??? I never thought you had much taste and that last line easily proved it. How do you even justify a comparison between the halfwit boobless anorexic to the likes of Halle and Angelina?
Taste? TASTE? this is a serious question to a realistic scenario and I asked for cpt stupid help!!
You party pooper ,
besides, you fail hard anyway, they are all anorectic, boobless and stupid |
Captain Stupid
The Jeremy Kyle Holding Pen
9
|
Posted - 2012.03.30 19:57:00 -
[43] - Quote
2bhammered wrote:THE L0CK wrote:2bhammered wrote:Who is more fuckable today? Halle Berry or Angelina joli and what was hotter? Halle berry naked in monster or Jolis lesbian nake scene?
Or is Paris Hilton better in both regards??? I never thought you had much taste and that last line easily proved it. How do you even justify a comparison between the halfwit boobless anorexic to the likes of Halle and Angelina? Taste? TASTE? this is a serious question to a realistic scenario and I asked for cpt stupid help!! You party pooper , besides, you fail hard anyway, they are all anorectic, boobless and stupid
In my defence you didn't offer anyone in that scenario who WASN'T boobless and stupid! |
2bhammered
Perkone
Caldari State
78
|
Posted - 2012.03.30 20:00:00 -
[44] - Quote
Captain Stupid wrote:2bhammered wrote:THE L0CK wrote:2bhammered wrote:Who is more fuckable today? Halle Berry or Angelina joli and what was hotter? Halle berry naked in monster or Jolis lesbian nake scene?
Or is Paris Hilton better in both regards??? I never thought you had much taste and that last line easily proved it. How do you even justify a comparison between the halfwit boobless anorexic to the likes of Halle and Angelina? Taste? TASTE? this is a serious question to a realistic scenario and I asked for cpt stupid help!! You party pooper , besides, you fail hard anyway, they are all anorectic, boobless and stupid In my defence you didn't offer anyone in that scenario who WASN'T boobless and stupid!
Don't blame me, Simon says. Blame Simon.
****... they know my fetish... |
THE L0CK
Republic Military School
Minmatar Republic
128
|
Posted - 2012.03.30 21:10:00 -
[45] - Quote
2bhammered wrote:THE L0CK wrote:2bhammered wrote:Who is more fuckable today? Halle Berry or Angelina joli and what was hotter? Halle berry naked in monster or Jolis lesbian nake scene?
Or is Paris Hilton better in both regards??? I never thought you had much taste and that last line easily proved it. How do you even justify a comparison between the halfwit boobless anorexic to the likes of Halle and Angelina? Taste? TASTE? this is a serious question to a realistic scenario and I asked for cpt stupid help!! You party pooper , besides, you fail hard anyway, they are all anorectic, boobless and stupid
You seriously need glasses and a clue.
Do you smell what the Lock's cooking? |
FloppieTheBanjoClown
The Skunkworks
1242
|
Posted - 2012.03.30 21:42:00 -
[46] - Quote
Captain Stupid wrote:First of all, thanks to Floppie, for the help, but don't worry I got this.
I'm not sure you have enough stupid for everyone. It's quite the rage these days.
It's time to put an end to CCP's war on piracy. Fight your own battles and stop asking CCP to do it for you. |
2bhammered
Perkone
Caldari State
78
|
Posted - 2012.03.30 22:03:00 -
[47] - Quote
THE L0CK wrote:2bhammered wrote:THE L0CK wrote:2bhammered wrote:Who is more fuckable today? Halle Berry or Angelina joli and what was hotter? Halle berry naked in monster or Jolis lesbian nake scene?
Or is Paris Hilton better in both regards??? I never thought you had much taste and that last line easily proved it. How do you even justify a comparison between the halfwit boobless anorexic to the likes of Halle and Angelina? Taste? TASTE? this is a serious question to a realistic scenario and I asked for cpt stupid help!! You party pooper , besides, you fail hard anyway, they are all anorectic, boobless and stupid You seriously need glasses and a clue.
I wish I had your delusion. |
Whitehound
16
|
Posted - 2012.03.31 09:34:00 -
[48] - Quote
2bhammered wrote:THE L0CK wrote:2bhammered wrote:THE L0CK wrote:2bhammered wrote:Who is more fuckable today? Halle Berry or Angelina joli and what was hotter? Halle berry naked in monster or Jolis lesbian nake scene?
Or is Paris Hilton better in both regards??? I never thought you had much taste and that last line easily proved it. How do you even justify a comparison between the halfwit boobless anorexic to the likes of Halle and Angelina? Taste? TASTE? this is a serious question to a realistic scenario and I asked for cpt stupid help!! You party pooper , besides, you fail hard anyway, they are all anorectic, boobless and stupid You seriously need glasses and a clue. I wish I had your delusion.
Angelina Jolie. Sha can give three guys a BJ: http://www.freakingnews.com/pictures/34500/Angelina-Jolie-Mouth-Eyes-34986.jpg |
Captain Stupid
The Jeremy Kyle Holding Pen
9
|
Posted - 2012.03.31 11:21:00 -
[49] - Quote
FloppieTheBanjoClown wrote:Captain Stupid wrote:First of all, thanks to Floppie, for the help, but don't worry I got this. I'm not sure you have enough stupid for everyone. It's quite the rage these days.
I can assure you I have plenty of Stupid, more than enough to go around!
More questions please, I am here all day!
|
Obax Bannon
Fidelis Technologies
55
|
Posted - 2012.04.04 09:29:00 -
[50] - Quote
[quote]
Obax Bannon - Now, I have discussed this on a drunken night in the pub once and have a great theory. This is actually the answer to perpetual motion. You see, as you are correctly leading towards, is the fact cats and buttered sides always land face down. So, as you drop the cat, there will be a conflict of interest, and both will try to face down, resulting in the cat rotating just above ground. Now this where the fun begins, placing several of these "buttered toast cats" in a row will give a long line of rotating cats, thus providing a platform of perpetual motion, and free energy (scientists have not yet experimented with taxidermised cats yet though) for moving things. We could even power trains with this.
[quote]
Nice answer...made me lol in the office this morning
meh...managed to mess up the quote thingamabobs but nvm  |
Rajan Marelona
Hedion University
Amarr Empire
0
|
Posted - 2012.04.04 11:01:00 -
[51] - Quote
If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is around to hear it fall, why does anybody care whether it makes a sound ?
If a genie in a lamp offers me three wishes and says I can not wish for more wishes, can I wish for more lamps with wish-fulfilling genies in them ?
If we would achieve world peace, how boring will the world be ?
If Chuck Norris could chuck wood, would we still have any forests ?
What is the exact maximum amount of stupid one can have before they start to stop realizing they're stupid ?
Does this top make me look fat ? |
Telegram Sam
The Drones Club
249
|
Posted - 2012.04.04 14:14:00 -
[52] - Quote
1) Why are blue whales so big? It seems kind of unnecessary.
2) Why do cicadas live underground sucking tree sap for 17 years?* Then come out live as adults for only about a month. I don't see any point to all that.
Also is there some numerological significance to the fact that the stay underground either 2, 13, or 17 years? That sounds kind of sinister.
*The nymph burrows into the soil and crawls to a tree root (using its claw-like front legs). The nymph will suck the tree's sap through straw-like mouthparts (called the rostrum). The nymph stage lasts either 2, 13 or 17 years. There is no pupal stage -- cicadas undergo incomplete metamorphosis. |
Tsadkiel
S0utherN Comfort
Cascade Imminent
64
|
Posted - 2012.04.04 18:03:00 -
[53] - Quote
If jimmy crack corn and no one cares, why does he keep doing it? =D
also, what's a boffin? |
Captain Stupid
The Jeremy Kyle Holding Pen
11
|
Posted - 2012.04.18 16:15:00 -
[54] - Quote
It fills my heart with utter joy to see this thread make a comeback. I will, of course, try to answer them in my own unique style!
Rajan Marelona:
If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is around to hear it fall, why does anybody care whether it makes a sound ?
It is important to remember, the squirrels. Not the grey "rats with bushy tails" that America gave us, but the lovely cute red ones. They care, and for this, so should we.
If a genie in a lamp offers me three wishes and says I can not wish for more wishes, can I wish for more lamps with wish-fulfilling genies in them ?
This is a much debated loophole, with no definitive answer as noone has managed to prove their existence. However, I have, as always, a theory. The genie uses a little known technique to manifest your wishes, called "trans-perambulation of pseudo cosmic antimatter". This is highly unstable and to have two near each other could possibly cause the world to implode. So, in short, no.
If we would achieve world peace, how boring will the world be ?
We would always have things to dislike, so boredom would not happen. I for example dislike inconsiderate parking, and even with world peace there will always be gits who park in such a manner they take up enough spaces for 2. So don't worry, you will always have things to dislike.
If Chuck Norris could chuck wood, would we still have any forests ?
Yes, of course we would, they would just be relocated to wherever he threw them!
What is the exact maximum amount of stupid one can have before they start to stop realizing they're stupid ?
I am getting close to this threshold, so get back to me in a few weeks and I might have an answer!
Does this top make me look fat ?
Not really, just a little "comfortable". I don't like skinny girls anyway.
|
Captain Stupid
The Jeremy Kyle Holding Pen
11
|
Posted - 2012.04.18 16:21:00 -
[55] - Quote
Telegram Sam wrote:1) Why are blue whales so big? It seems kind of unnecessary.
2) Why do cicadas live underground sucking tree sap for 17 years?* Then come out live as adults for only about a month. It's hard to see any point to all that.
Also is there some numerological significance to the fact that they stay underground either 2, 13, or 17 years? Those numbers seem kind of sinister.
*The nymph burrows into the soil and crawls to a tree root (using its claw-like front legs). The nymph will suck the tree's sap through straw-like mouthparts (called the rostrum). The nymph stage lasts either 2, 13 or 17 years. There is no pupal stage -- cicadas undergo incomplete metamorphosis.
1. They aren't actually big at all, but use a clever mix of mirrors and david blaine style tricks to make them look big. They are actually slightly smaller than a cod.
2. They signed a charter upon creation, that they were only allowed to suck tree sap, even though anyone who knows, will know they prefer coffee. As for the time, it is a mystery for sure, but some think it was originally to make sure they avoided the song "Everything I do, I do it for you" by Bryan Adams. For some reason the timescale just stuck after that. |
Captain Stupid
The Jeremy Kyle Holding Pen
11
|
Posted - 2012.04.18 17:02:00 -
[56] - Quote
Tsadkiel wrote:If jimmy crack corn and no one cares, why does he keep doing it? =D
also, what's a boffin?
Jimmy cracks corn, because he signed a pact with Dave Grohl once (while Dave Grohl was dressed as a Devil, filming the video for Tenacious D's song "Tribute"). The pact stated in return for a set of the great Grohls old drum kit, he had to crack corn forever. So you see, no one cares, but Jimmy cares even less. Poor soul.
A boffin, is a genetically mutated employee of japanese electrical product company, "Tefal". They injected their employees in the head to expand their brains, thus improving their research. A picture of these "creations" can be seen here: Tefal "boffins" |
Telegram Sam
The Drones Club
263
|
Posted - 2012.04.19 16:21:00 -
[57] - Quote
Captain Stupid wrote:Telegram Sam wrote:1) Why are blue whales so big? It seems kind of unnecessary.
2) Why do cicadas live underground sucking tree sap for 17 years?* Then come out live as adults for only about a month. It's hard to see any point to all that.
Also is there some numerological significance to the fact that they stay underground either 2, 13, or 17 years? Those numbers seem kind of sinister.
*The nymph burrows into the soil and crawls to a tree root (using its claw-like front legs). The nymph will suck the tree's sap through straw-like mouthparts (called the rostrum). The nymph stage lasts either 2, 13 or 17 years. There is no pupal stage -- cicadas undergo incomplete metamorphosis. 1. They aren't actually big at all, but use a clever mix of mirrors and david blaine style tricks to make them look big. They are actually slightly smaller than a cod. 2. They signed a charter upon creation, that they were only allowed to suck tree sap, even though anyone who knows, will know they prefer coffee. As for the time, it is a mystery for sure, but some think it was originally to make sure they avoided the song "Everything I do, I do it for you" by Bryan Adams. For some reason the timescale just stuck after that.
I highly appreciate that whack at Bryan Adams, Captain. Though I do wish that name had not been mentioned at all. It triggers a lot of repressed and traumatic auditory memories. |
Culmen
Culmenation
25
|
Posted - 2012.04.19 18:20:00 -
[58] - Quote
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
There is a fine line between a post and a signature. |
Captain Stupid
The Jeremy Kyle Holding Pen
11
|
Posted - 2012.04.19 19:24:00 -
[59] - Quote
Culmen wrote:How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
This, is a fantastic question to ask Siri if you posess an iPhone 4S. The answers are somewhat amusing. My personal favourite, "Is that an African or European woodchuck?"
As always, Siri knows best. |
Captain Stupid
The Jeremy Kyle Holding Pen
11
|
Posted - 2012.04.19 19:25:00 -
[60] - Quote
Telegram Sam wrote:Captain Stupid wrote:Telegram Sam wrote:1) Why are blue whales so big? It seems kind of unnecessary.
2) Why do cicadas live underground sucking tree sap for 17 years?* Then come out live as adults for only about a month. It's hard to see any point to all that.
Also is there some numerological significance to the fact that they stay underground either 2, 13, or 17 years? Those numbers seem kind of sinister.
*The nymph burrows into the soil and crawls to a tree root (using its claw-like front legs). The nymph will suck the tree's sap through straw-like mouthparts (called the rostrum). The nymph stage lasts either 2, 13 or 17 years. There is no pupal stage -- cicadas undergo incomplete metamorphosis. 1. They aren't actually big at all, but use a clever mix of mirrors and david blaine style tricks to make them look big. They are actually slightly smaller than a cod. 2. They signed a charter upon creation, that they were only allowed to suck tree sap, even though anyone who knows, will know they prefer coffee. As for the time, it is a mystery for sure, but some think it was originally to make sure they avoided the song "Everything I do, I do it for you" by Bryan Adams. For some reason the timescale just stuck after that. I highly appreciate that whack at Bryan Adams, Captain. Though I do wish that name had not been mentioned at all. It triggers a lot of repressed and traumatic auditory memories.
I sincerely apologise for this, and can only offer my condolences. However, we cannot shy away from our past, you need to confront it. I am available for hugs of course.
|
FloppieTheBanjoClown
The Skunkworks
1330
|
Posted - 2012.04.19 20:37:00 -
[61] - Quote
Culmen wrote:How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
This all depends on which definition of "chuck" you use. The most common definition is "throw". It would take a significant anatomical change for a woodchuck to be able to throw anything any meaningful distance. Such a change could only be achieved by evolution or the intervention of modern science, and it is highly likely that the end result would no longer be a member of the woodchuck family, rendering the question moot. So the answer would be "none!" The secondary definition of chuck is to "touch (someone) playfully or gently under the chin." As wood has no chin, it could not be chucked in this fashion. So we can definitively say that woodchucks could chuck no wood.
However, as a noun chuck has another meaning: food or provisions. It's not a stretch of the imagination to go from "noun meaning food" to "verb meaning eat". Feast, for example, can be used both ways. So if we do take this small liberty, the question then becomes "how much wood can a woodchuck eat?" While the woodchuck seems to lack the dental equipment necessary to eat wood in nature, sawdust is readily available in many areas. While a steady diet of sawdust would almost certainly result in malnutrition and death, barring other consequences such as poisoning or the inability to digest the material I would postulate that a woodchuck could consume--chuck--quite a bit of wood over its lifetime so long as it was supplemented with the actual dietary requirements of the animal.
In other words...a lot.
It's time to put an end to CCP's war on piracy. Fight your own battles and stop asking CCP to do it for you. |
Kehro Urgus
Aliastra
Gallente Federation
292
|
Posted - 2012.04.19 22:16:00 -
[62] - Quote
Do bugs fart?
Always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them so much. -- Oscar Wilde
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Captain Stupid
The Jeremy Kyle Holding Pen
11
|
Posted - 2012.04.22 18:38:00 -
[63] - Quote
Kehro Urgus wrote:Do bugs fart?
Bugs are too small to contain the necessary quantity of gas to enable farting. There is no doubt they would if they could, but sadly they just can't.
|
Telegram Sam
The Drones Club
264
|
Posted - 2012.04.23 19:33:00 -
[64] - Quote
What's going to happen? |
Captain Stupid
The Jeremy Kyle Holding Pen
11
|
Posted - 2012.04.24 16:04:00 -
[65] - Quote
Telegram Sam wrote:What's going to happen?
Oh that is easy. The thing that was going to turn in to a whatsit, will evolve in to a you know what.
Probably.
|
pHASE 11
iFly Holdings
Gecko Alliance
0
|
Posted - 2012.04.27 14:24:00 -
[66] - Quote
Which scifi series is the best?
Also, why is my beer empty? |
Telegram Sam
The Drones Club
270
|
Posted - 2012.04.27 17:17:00 -
[67] - Quote
Why does the Moon orbit the Earth and rotate in just the right way, so that always see just one side? Doesn't that seem like a little too much of a coincidence? That it would just somehow have the perfect orbit and rotation speed for that? I'm not buying it-- something's going on here. |
Captain Stupid
The Jeremy Kyle Holding Pen
11
|
Posted - 2012.04.28 10:43:00 -
[68] - Quote
pHASE 11 wrote:Which scifi series is the best?
Also, why is my beer empty?
First of all the best sci fi series, clearly, is the tragically cut short "Space, above and beyond". I found it quite creepy but very engaging and was most disappointed when it ended.
Your beer, it is empty, simply due to the fact you are drinking it. This is a good thingGäó and to be encouraged. Get more. Now. |
Captain Stupid
The Jeremy Kyle Holding Pen
11
|
Posted - 2012.04.28 10:53:00 -
[69] - Quote
Telegram Sam wrote:Why does the Moon orbit the Earth and rotate in just the right way, so that always see just one side? Doesn't that seem like a little too much of a coincidence? That it would just somehow have the perfect orbit and rotation speed for that? Doesn't that seem just a little bit improbable? I'm not buying it-- something's going on here.
I have to share your cynicism here. It is all really far too convenient. So what is REALLY going on? Well, unsurprisingly, I have a pub induced theory on this.
The moon is actually piloted by an alien species, that have been spying on us for many thousands of years. The original plan was to watch us, and see if we were worthy of being invited to join some kind of space faring civilisation. However they soon realised we were too aggressive, and not really very nice so decided not to reveal themselves. But they are there. I KNOW. |
Brujo Loco
Brujeria Teologica
343
|
Posted - 2012.04.29 04:47:00 -
[70] - Quote
What is the meaning of life? (no conan)
Why is it raining right now?
Why CCP believed INCARNA was great success?
ty
Inner Sayings of BrujoLoco:
http://eve-files.com/sig/brujoloco |
Captain Stupid
The Jeremy Kyle Holding Pen
11
|
Posted - 2012.04.29 11:13:00 -
[71] - Quote
Brujo Loco wrote:What is the meaning of life? (no conan)
Why is it raining right now?
Why CCP believed INCARNA was great success?
ty
Some fab questions there. I shall do my best!
The meaning of life, is often mistakenly considered to be 42. This is incorrect. 42 is the answer to the life, universe, and EVERYTHING. The meaning of life, therefore, is a third of this. Based on this theory, (you will be amazed to hear it was derived in a pub), the meaning of life, is 14.
It is raining now, because my wife wanted me to cut the grass. Simple really.
Hilmar, despite what we all think of him, can never be doubted for his passion for this game. Sure, he went off the track and lost focus, but he is not entirely blameless. No, we have to blame Japanese jeans manufacturers (I went there, sorry!). He wore them and they were so tight they cut the blood to his brain, which, sadly is in his ass. Because of this, he thought Incarna was good. He has since seen the error of his ways, conveniently since replacing the jeans.
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Khergit Deserters
Center for Advanced Studies
Gallente Federation
29
|
Posted - 2012.05.02 14:40:00 -
[72] - Quote
Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway? |
Bane Necran
419
|
Posted - 2012.05.02 18:16:00 -
[73] - Quote
What's the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?
"It's no use crying over spilt milk, because all the forces of the universe were bent on spilling it." ~William Maugham |
Captain Stupid
The Jeremy Kyle Holding Pen
11
|
Posted - 2012.05.02 18:47:00 -
[74] - Quote
Khergit Deserters wrote:Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?
Well, this is an interesting conundrum.
I refer you to the law of opposites. You see, if you try to drive on a driveway, or worse, park on a parkway, the molecular composition of the very fabric of the universe will become unstable. And you may spill your drink.
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Captain Stupid
The Jeremy Kyle Holding Pen
11
|
Posted - 2012.05.02 18:49:00 -
[75] - Quote
Bane Necran wrote:What's the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?
If you have ever watched the live feed of the house of commons in UK, the prime minister would answer this with a well used statement when asked a question he has already answered.....
"I refer the honourable gentleman to the response I gave some moments ago".
However, as I am nice I will simply quote my answer from page 1, as it was also asked there:
"As has already been mentioned, the question regarding swallows can only be answered when specifying if it is African or European. This difference is very important. I even asked Siri, and he said the same thing."
This is a popular question, and you can see why!
|
FloppieTheBanjoClown
The Skunkworks
1451
|
Posted - 2012.05.02 21:35:00 -
[76] - Quote
Khergit Deserters wrote:Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?
I routinely drive on my driveway, often as I enter or exit my garage.
Parking on parkways is for Californians. They do seem to love their traffic.
It's time to put an end to CCP's war on piracy. Fight your own battles and stop asking CCP to do it for you. |
Telegram Sam
The Drones Club
276
|
Posted - 2012.05.02 21:55:00 -
[77] - Quote
Women's libidos peak at age 27-45. Men's at, what, about 13. Quite a mismatch in ages, I think you'll agree. My questions:
1) Would it be best if 13-year-old males married, say, 40-year-old females? So that everybody's libido is about at the same level?
2) Did nature have some reasonable reason for doing it this way? Or was it just a cruel joke? |
Bane Necran
421
|
Posted - 2012.05.02 23:30:00 -
[78] - Quote
Captain Stupid wrote:"I refer the honourable gentleman to the response I gave some moments ago".
However, as I am nice I will simply quote my answer from page 1, as it was also asked there:
Crap, i really need to start reading entire threads before i post.
"It's no use crying over spilt milk, because all the forces of the universe were bent on spilling it." ~William Maugham |
IbanezLaney
The Church of Awesome
14
|
Posted - 2012.05.04 03:50:00 -
[79] - Quote
One of my cars tyres has gone flat.
However - it is only flat on the bottom. Can I turn it over and continue to drive?
Fix this **** See Sea Pea. |
Captain Stupid
The Jeremy Kyle Holding Pen
11
|
Posted - 2012.05.04 08:21:00 -
[80] - Quote
Telegram Sam wrote:Women's libidos peak at age 27-45. Men's at, what, about 13. Quite a mismatch in ages, I think you'll agree. My questions:
1) Would it be best if 13-year-old males married, say, 40-year-old females? So that everybody's libido is about at the same level?
2) Did nature have some reasonable reason for doing it this way? Or was it just a cruel joke?
Well, an interesting conundrum you got there. Now, if this was answered by a 13 year old male, it might be different, but I feel a 13 year old marrying a 40 year old is a bit wrong. Not for sex reasons, no, as a 13 year old it would be amazing, but then shge would make you do your homewoek. Clean the dishes etc. You would become a legalised sex slave. Not good.
2 - Yes, nature is a woman apparently, so consider it a really evil joke. Nature is a ***** and she knows it. |
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