Dafuq did I just read?

It was quite a bad idea you had there

Haha, mace is one of the many illegal weapons in the uk and yes it does tend to happen a bit round here :)

Bought a funny "non-harm" self defence weapon (i know nice concept there my government) for my ex girlfriend which consisted of a can of blue foam that empties entirely in 3 seconds into the assailants face when you pull the trigger. This temporarily blinds the attacker (just blue foam not irritant) and dyes their skin neon blue for 4 days. Its a sorry turn of events when self defence weapons are reduced to mere playthings

glad you made out ok, if thats the norm in your area id suggest getting a can of mace , or something along those lines.

whenever im out on road trips i always take along a can of bear spray :P 15 foot range and wow, what a wollup

Try wasp spray instead. It's not lethal.

That's a very situational tool. If help is near by, it gives you valuable time. Yet it has a lot less stopping power than real irritant inducers.
If there are multiple assailants, wasp spray may just **** them off enough to chase you down when they wouldn't have bothered chasing you down to begin with. As the thought is no longer stealing but revenge.

Wow. Your self defense options are limited to silly string? Jeeze.

Or just throw a bag of wasps at them... biological warfare!

OP went into triage mode and and pirates took off before Concord could get there, if I were you I'd move out of low sec though.

In England everybody gets issued a Vagina to handle these situations with.


On a positive note, I have a theory that this game has the potential to set up neural pathways capable of breaking the "it can't happen to me" mentality that makes people ripe for becoming the next victim. Complacency is expensive in this game, and so the asshattery (or legitimate goals of piracy, war, etc) in this game can give a person an edge in the real world simply by the "practice" of the correct mindset to survive in this game.


This is why some people can say - and I would argue they could be correct - that suicide ganking an AFK player might be doing them a favor. This would be the case IF (instead of quitting, complaining on the forums, etc) they decided to play more carefully in the future.

Another potential loss to poor mindset in this game is the competition itself. A lot of people would look at other people, perhaps with more prowess or potential, and be inclined to modify they system in which they live under to quell competition. For example, a business owner who, fearing compeition, supports new laws making it harder for new people in the business to get their start. If you play EvE and agree with the mindset promoted in this game, you might intead find yourself in the opinion that if someone else can best you in open competition, then perhaps you deserve to lose.

This is the baseline struggle of EvE. People who will accept loss and gain on their own merits versus those who meta a system to their advantage.

Dafuq did I just read?

They set a further gate camp for me in another choke point system further down the way (really), which i avoided using my new found survival instincts. Lowsec conquored another little bit :)

Secondly i have discovered it is indeed possible to obtain someones address from their license plate number in the uk, locator agents anyone?

Yeah tbh here had they actually stabbed me they would likely have driven off casually for a cup of tea, then watched from a nearby window as the paramedics injected me with a cup and the police waved their scary wooden sticks aloft in rage

Ok. You live in the UK. You have socialized medicine. Go tell a shrink that you valued playing a computer game more than your life.

the lady that lives next door to me almost got mugged, but this being Alabama the would-be mugger found himself looking down the barrels of 4 rifles and a 12 gauge

I... eh... what?

How the **** does one little old lady hold four rifles and a shotgun at once?

How the **** does one little old lady hold four rifles and a shotgun at once?

Is the laptop needed for you to perform your profession since it spellchecks and fixes your grammar?

the lady that lives next door to me almost got mugged, but this being Alabama the would-be mugger found himself looking down the barrels of 4 rifles and a 12 gauge

How the **** does one little old lady hold four rifles and a shotgun at once?

Imagine a old lady looking like this.
...it is Alabama after all.

Gùï Considered giving over bag since knives were out and pointed at me

My GF can hold 5.

I'm still trying to recover from the site of that.

You decided to take the risk of getting stabbed over an insured laptop, so you could play a game online?

Today walkin home through the beautiful area of the southern UK in which i live, a car full of dudes pulled alongside me got out of the car and tried to mug me for my bag. The only thing in the bag was my laptop which is currently my only means of playing eve as well as my only means to perform my profession.

A massive thankyou to all of you for making the loss of my laptop not an option, am fine now dispite having given up nothing . It's funny how this game creeps into your mind in places you'd never expect, even in such a suddenly stressful situation i remember thinking of eve and how in a wierd way it felt almost normal for people to drive up and try to take my stuff Also dispite the laptop being insured it was thoughts of eve not work that kept my bag on my back throughout

You decided to take the risk of getting stabbed over an insured laptop, so you could play a game online?

'Dudes' only live in the U.S.

UK has 'mates'

'Dudes' only live in the U.S.

UK has 'mates'

No... UK has geezers.

Man risks life to save laptop to play Eve on?

Ok. You live in the UK. You have socialized medicine. Go tell a shrink that you valued playing a computer game more than your life.

While you're waiting up to 18 weeks to get an appointment with a shrink, write to your PM that the UK's personal weapon laws are becoming a detriment to the citizenry and need a good looking at. Of course, your PM may instead pen a bill to increase the police budget instead, and since your live in a crappy neighborhood, you'll never see any of that extra police protection.

OP got ganked IRL.

No... UK has geezers.

9mm Glock is you friend

Today walkin home through the beautiful area of the southern UK in which i live, a car full of dudes pulled alongside me got out of the car and tried to mug me for my bag. The only thing in the bag was my laptop which is currently my only means of playing eve as well as my only means to perform my profession.

A massive thankyou to all of you for making the loss of my laptop not an option, am fine now dispite having given up nothing . It's funny how this game creeps into your mind in places you'd never expect, even in such a suddenly stressful situation i remember thinking of eve and how in a wierd way it felt almost normal for people to drive up and try to take my stuff Also dispite the laptop being insured it was thoughts of eve not work that kept my bag on my back throughout

How the **** does one little old lady hold four rifles and a shotgun at once?

So they had knives out...they wanted your bag...you didn't give it to them...so...they just shrugged and left?

So they had knives out...they wanted your bag...you didn't give it to them...so...they just shrugged and left?

Glad you made it out in one piece, but yeah, I suppose Eve DOES help you make you more aware of stuff like that.
It gives you the mental survival instincts that can be quite usefull, and armed with those, even a basement dwelling fatkid is scarier than he looks.

When I was living as a student, me and my then GF got mugged once while cycling under a bridge. One of them hit me with a baseball bat, which gave me a nasty concussion. The 'fun' part of this was, because they thought I was the scary person, as I was larger than her, they went for me first, with the baseball bat.
What they didn't know was that she was 2nd dan Jiu-Jitsu.. when I woke up, one of them wasn't moving with bits of broken baseball bat in places they shouldn't be, and the other was running for his life.

EVE is real!

So they had knives out...they wanted your bag...you didn't give it to them...so...they just shrugged and left?

Why the hell wouldn't you defend yourself from those who would harm you?
And why the hell wouldn't you defend your property and livelihood from those who would take them from you?

Go Team OP.

Good thing about Alabama, noone mugs you for your laptop cause they don't know what one is.

To be honest, I have never met a computer worth dying for.

Cause you don't have a Mac.

Lol all the yanks on here saying stuff along the lines of 'omg give them your bag next time, you could have died'

Fortunately, in most of the UK resistance does not = death.

(I do understand you constitutionally need to have guns allowed in the USA to stop us Brits/Euros taking the country back, i know i'd be straight over with my baker rifle if they ever got made illegal there)

So they had knives out...they wanted your bag...you didn't give it to them...so...they just shrugged and left?

Today walkin home through the beautiful area of the southern UK in which i live, a car full of dudes pulled alongside me got out of the car and tried to mug me for my bag. The only thing in the bag was my laptop which is currently my only means of playing eve as well as my only means to perform my profession.

A massive thankyou to all of you for making the loss of my laptop not an option, am fine now dispite having given up nothing . It's funny how this game creeps into your mind in places you'd never expect, even in such a suddenly stressful situation i remember thinking of eve and how in a wierd way it felt almost normal for people to drive up and try to take my stuff Also dispite the laptop being insured it was thoughts of eve not work that kept my bag on my back throughout

Haha, mace is one of the many illegal weapons in the uk and yes it does tend to happen a bit round here :)

Bought a funny "non-harm" self defence weapon (i know nice concept there my government) for my ex girlfriend which consisted of a can of blue foam that empties entirely in 3 seconds into the assailants face when you pull the trigger. This temporarily blinds the attacker (just blue foam not irritant) and dyes their skin neon blue for 4 days. Its a sorry turn of events when self defence weapons are reduced to mere playthings

Today walkin home through the beautiful area of the southern UK in which i live, a car full of dudes pulled alongside me got out of the car and tried to mug me for my bag. The only thing in the bag was my laptop which is currently my only means of playing eve as well as my only means to perform my profession.

A massive thankyou to all of you for making the loss of my laptop not an option, am fine now dispite having given up nothing . It's funny how this game creeps into your mind in places you'd never expect, even in such a suddenly stressful situation i remember thinking of eve and how in a wierd way it felt almost normal for people to drive up and try to take my stuff Also dispite the laptop being insured it was thoughts of eve not work that kept my bag on my back throughout

I dunno dude...each time I read something like this (especially about UK), I think of Tommy Flanagan. He's the actor with facial scars who played in Braveheart, Gladiator, Smokin' Aces, etc.

What happened was, going back from work and carrying records (I think he was a DJ at the time) he too got accosted and refused to give up the records since at the time they were basically his means to perform his profession too. And he ended up in the hospital with severe scarring as a result. Were the records worth it?

A friend of mine got stopped on the parking lot by three people, one of them produced a gun, and all they wanted was his car keys. He was bright enough to hand them over, they got in and drove off. He later told me he was actually thinking about it! At which point it took a lot of self-restraint not to grab him by the coat and slap him silly. The guy has a wife and a kid, and he was thinking of laying down his life for his car. This is as good as it gets in a mugging situation - where the mugger just wants material goods, not a good time with your wife or to borrow your kid. It's just your car, which is insured. Good lord...

I dunno, I think the one person standing up to these punks sends a clear message to others of the same mind.

People need to look to themselves for their own protection. The police rarely prevent crime - they just penalize the people who do it (sometimes).

Don't forget, self destruct is not an option any more, your laptop could have dropped intact.

Fortunately, in most of the UK resistance does not = death
Even here, at the most you're going to get rolled for your change. If you're in a situation more serious than that, you've made a big mistake regarding where you're travelling (like you note later in the parts I've snipped)..

Fortunately, in most of the UK resistance does not = death
Even here, at the most you're going to get rolled for your change.

Why the hell wouldn't you defend yourself from those who would harm you?
And why the hell wouldn't you defend your property and livelihood from those who would take them from you?

Go Team OP.

Next time don't try to resist and just give your stuff. It's not worth the risk really, if, they are trying to take you replacable stuff.

Have you imagined "being poded" because of a laptop?

In this case - those with knives = Battleship, those without knives = shuttle.

Best thing: if you end up having to use it, it's much more probable that you DON'T hurt your attacker severely. If you defend yourself with a knife and end up stabbing the ****er, you'll be in deep crap yourself.

So, how did you get away? you just said no and they left?

This is England an all. Fair play and manners what what.

The OP is clearly just happy that dealing with the 'hive of scum and villiany' that is eve everyday gave him the balls to stand up for himself for once. I realise that most of the inhabitants of this game prob spent most of their childhood upside-down in a locker with a wedgy and this is an unfamiliar concept.

UK, go figure. I wouldn't be surprised if OP had brandished a five lbs. meat cleaver in defense and the cops instead went after him.

OP, good job.

Yay for governments disarming law-abiding citizens while having either no effect or increasing the likelihood of violent crime.

Go government!

How the **** does one little old lady hold four rifles and a shotgun at once?

actually it's Glock 9mm. A 9mm Glock would be quite a bit less scary imo.

Alabama, it's like Norfolk but without the webbed toes.

Try wasp spray instead. It's not lethal.

I also play in this laptop, which happens to be corporate property.

If it gets stolen, EvE Online is the last of my problems.

Living in a country where guns are not at all widespread (Spain), I would have resisted too.

And having been, in the past, a...ehem...private security contractor (a pub bouncer), I cannot recommend THESE enough: expandable batons.

They are also illegal in here, just as mace sprays, but oh boy. I've stopped DOZENS of agressions (to me and others) merely by unfolding it.

They can be unfolded in a fraction of a second with a single whipping motion, and the sight of half a yard of steel popping out of nowhere DOES cool the blood of potential attackers.

Best thing: if you end up having to use it, it's much more probable that you DON'T hurt your attacker severely. If you defend yourself with a knife and end up stabbing the ****er, you'll be in deep crap yourself.

Also, a single blow to the side of a leg (police style) is all that it takes to stop 99% of brawlers out there. I know what I'm saying.

9mm Glock is you friend

On re-reading it still appears to me to be a blindingly simple concept, but i'll slow things down for you man.

Gùï Assholes try to mug me
Gùï Considered giving over bag since knives were out and pointed at me
Gùï Did not give over bag, was instead briefly distracted by the situational importance of EvE and various funny parallels.
Gùï Realised how strange it was that EvE should enter my mind in such a situation
Gùï Wrote simple post explaining this strange concept to other EvE online fans
Gùï Had to simplify post for Toko Too who has trouble reading evidently

Umm, and i dont remember posing any ideas. Was a thankyou for being such an important and interesting game / playergroup as to over-ride my fear of personal harm.

Plus 1 to both of you for your classic EvE-like contentless bump posts :D

And no with some scuffle and heated exchange i managed to extend the situation a couple minutes or so untill they decided it was getting a little too public and got back in the car. After that they drove a few blocks further round the corner and pulled up again to wait for me further on, i saw them in the car as my friend gave me a lift past. I'm not a particularly big guy, but i don't think i look much like an easy target or anything

no need to slow down things, you need to learn how to write correctly.

Wow. Your self defense options are limited to silly string? Jeeze.

Hey Keno glad to hear your ok.

spend a few isk on one of these m8, not legal but feels nice in the hand :) like yourself i live down in the south east (kent) but have yet to be put in this kind of scenario. Mind you am 6` 1" and build like a brick $hithouse

http://www.aspbaton.co.uk/

On re-reading it still appears to me to be a blindingly simple concept, but i'll slow things down for you man.

Gùï Assholes try to mug me
Gùï Considered giving over bag since knives were out and pointed at me
Gùï Did not give over bag, was instead briefly distracted by the situational importance of EvE and various funny parallels.
Gùï Realised how strange it was that EvE should enter my mind in such a situation
Gùï Wrote simple post explaining this strange concept to other EvE online fans
Gùï Had to simplify post for Toko Too who has trouble reading evidently

Umm, and i dont remember posing any ideas. Was a thankyou for being such an important and interesting game / playergroup as to over-ride my fear of personal harm.

Plus 1 to both of you for your classic EvE-like contentless bump posts :D

I can do the same with my man stick. Unfolded in a fraction of a second, ready for action...

Haha, mace is one of the many illegal weapons in the uk and yes it does tend to happen a bit round here :)

Bought a funny "non-harm" self defence weapon (i know nice concept there my government) for my ex girlfriend which consisted of a can of blue foam that empties entirely in 3 seconds into the assailants face when you pull the trigger. This temporarily blinds the attacker (just blue foam not irritant) and dyes their skin neon blue for 4 days. Its a sorry turn of events when self defence weapons are reduced to mere playthings

Friend of mine from north of Iraq pointed out to me that bullets do not care how big you are.

We don't even have that in Australia. On top of that, if you hurt someone that is trying to rob you, they can legitimately have you charged.

It's no wonder so many criminals simply vanish from the face of the earth

Ned Kelly sure did a number on your freedoms, huh-uh?

Actually, it was this guy.