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Author	Thread Statistics \| Show CCP posts - 3 post(s)
Lord Razpataz Devils Rejects 666 The Devil's Warrior Alliance 205	Posted - 2016.01.26 00:52:30 - [481] - Quote Its that time again.. more activity than targets. Aaaaand.. I'm not going to do a blanket dec spree. Anyone have any targets for us that are active?
Valkin Mordirc 1858	Posted - 2016.01.26 02:12:07 - [482] - Quote If you looking for a fight Killswitch Alliance recently gave us a decent one. `#DeleteTheWeak`
Fybs Somalian Coast Guard Authority 635	Posted - 2016.01.26 13:28:48 - [483] - Quote I'm happy to announce Devils will be hosting my SCA. for awhile before my leave into null sec. I have 3 years experience in HS wars so you could say I no a thing or two Now is a fantastic time to grab a contract from these lads for the up and coming weekend. Don't confuse kindness with weakness. Beware the hand of Fybs. Proud CEO of the Somalian Coast Guard Authority
Mortlake Devils Rejects 666 1528	Posted - 2016.01.26 13:52:13 - [484] - Quote I was only gone 24hrs. Who left the cat flap open? Father to a murdered son. Husband to a murdered wife. Truth be told, I've been pretty unlucky.
Sol epoch HELVEGEN Archetype. 211	Posted - 2016.01.26 14:00:54 - [485] - Quote Fybs wrote: I'm happy to announce Devils will be hosting my SCA. for awhile before my leave into null sec. I have 3 years experience in HS wars so you could say I no a thing or two Now is a fantastic time to grab a contract from these lads for the up and coming weekend. Good bunch of guys and a positive move. I wish you well in your endevour.
Fybs Somalian Coast Guard Authority The Devil's Warrior Alliance 642	Posted - 2016.01.29 12:16:01 - [486] - Quote Breaking News... Mortlake is giving away free topless pics with every new contract. Grab yours today for this fantastic offer. Only Available while stocks lasts. T&C's apply. Don't confuse kindness with weakness. Beware the hand of Fybs. Proud CEO of the Somalian Coast Guard Authority
Lord Razpataz Devils Rejects 666 The Devil's Warrior Alliance 205	Posted - 2016.01.30 01:31:04 - [487] - Quote Disclaimer: If you dont want a topless pic of Mortlake, relax.. you can still contact us for contracts. My devils are getting to bloodthirsty, hard keeping them in line. Use this opportunity to unleash hell on your target.
Saeger1737 Bite the pillow Archetype. 1307	Posted - 2016.01.30 02:47:18 - [488] - Quote Mortlake should wear a devil battle thong and do a full picture for a contract.
Mortlake Devils Rejects 666 1692	Posted - 2016.01.30 11:13:51 - [489] - Quote I have no intention of providing services in exchange for cheap melon shots, so please stop emailing me with pictures of bockwurst and kiwi fruit. I will, however, provide you with one from a recent shoot I did for Buff Brutor magazine. Father to a murdered son. Husband to a murdered wife. Truth be told, I've been pretty unlucky.
HoleySheet1 Renegade Armada. What Squad 785	Posted - 2016.01.31 20:09:05 - [490] - Quote Make your CSM vote count! Vote for me for CSM. Check my thread in the CSM forum. Have a great day. Player driven Emperor of Amarr, no npc crap. Kneel before me. https://zkillboard.com/system/30002187/topalltime A magical Life Lesson : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_xATi_9seuk WAAAAAAZZZOOOOOO
Mortlake Devils Rejects 666 1744	Posted - 2016.01.31 21:09:46 - [491] - Quote Who farted? Father to a murdered son. Husband to a murdered wife. Truth be told, I've been pretty unlucky.
HoleySheet1 Renegade Armada. What Squad 785	Posted - 2016.01.31 21:16:52 - [492] - Quote Mortlake wrote: Who farted? Possibly your mom upstairs? Top Amarr killer of all times. https://zkillboard.com/system/30002187/topalltime Running for CSM 2016. Check my thread in the CSM section of the forums. Make your vote count!
Mortlake Devils Rejects 666 1750	Posted - 2016.01.31 21:31:01 - [493] - Quote There it is again. Could someone open a window? Father to a murdered son. Husband to a murdered wife. Truth be told, I've been pretty unlucky.
Kaely Tanniss Addicted To Chaos Archetype. 542	Posted - 2016.02.01 02:26:38 - [494] - Quote Fybs wrote: Breaking News... Mortlake is giving away free topless pics with every new contract. Grab yours today for this fantastic offer. Only Available while stocks lasts. T&C's apply. Giggity If I had a nickel for every time someone said women don't play eve, I'd have a bag of nickels to whack the next person who said it..
HoleySheet1 Renegade Armada. What Squad 788	Posted - 2016.02.02 12:48:17 - [495] - Quote I would hire you for a service...if you leave romi. Check my official CSM campaign in the CSM section of the forums. Top Amarr killer of all times: https://zkillboard.com/system/30002187/topalltime Running for CSM 2016. Check my thread in the CSM section of the forums. Make your vote count!
Ralph King-Griffin Devils Rejects 666 The Devil's Warrior Alliance 13925	Posted - 2016.02.02 13:21:16 - [496] - Quote HoleySheet1 wrote: I would hire you for a service...if you leave romi. Check my official CSM campaign in the CSM section of the forums. the irony of that is delicious holy . im fairly certain i could run a successful csm campaign based solely on not being you. Better the Devil you know. =]\|[=
HoleySheet1 Renegade Armada. What Squad 788	Posted - 2016.02.02 16:22:03 - [497] - Quote I appreciate your thoughts. So your campaign would be : "I'm not holeysheet1". Hmmmmm, that'd definitely get you some votes. Bon chance. Top Amarr killer of all times: https://zkillboard.com/system/30002187/topalltime Running for CSM 2016. Check my thread in the CSM section of the forums. Make your vote count!
Ralph King-Griffin Devils Rejects 666 The Devil's Warrior Alliance 13929	Posted - 2016.02.02 19:03:47 - [498] - Quote HoleySheet1 wrote: I appreciate your thoughts. So your campaign would be : "I'm not holeysheet1". Hmmmmm, that'd definitely get you some votes. Bon chance. Something like, "Vote King-Griffin : I'm neither HolySheet1 nor Xenoria" Better the Devil you know. =]\|[=
Mortlake Devils Rejects 666 1803	Posted - 2016.02.04 09:49:50 - [499] - Quote My beard aches for combat. Father to a murdered son. Husband to a murdered wife. Truth be told, I've been pretty unlucky.
Yourmoney Mywallet Jita Institute of Applied Monetary Manipulation 845	Posted - 2016.02.04 09:56:03 - [500] - Quote You're not honestly calling that thing a beard.
Omar Alharazaad Lords.Of.Midnight The Devil's Warrior Alliance 2746	Posted - 2016.02.04 15:07:16 - [501] - Quote If we leave Romi... it's not like we'd fly 21 jumps just to push some WT Orca pilot's shite in or something... Oh wait. That just happened. Come hell or high water, this sick world will know I was here.
Mortlake Devils Rejects 666 1820	Posted - 2016.02.05 00:21:52 - [502] - Quote Yourmoney Mywallet wrote: You're not honestly calling that thing a beard. Honestly? Yes. Yes I am. Mainly because it's not a moustache. It used to be a moustache, and a carnivorous moustache at that. We had a beautifully simple, symbiotic relationship for many years. I'd trough like a hog and 'Melvin' would clean up when I was done. One fateful evening, after arriving back at station following a horrendously heavy drinking session, I happened upon a Fedo doing unmentionable things on the mat outside the door to my quarters. To say I was unimpressed would be an understatement, and due to the amount of alcohol I'd consumed I wasn't exactly in a position to exercise much self control. A few swift kicks to the nose rendered the disgusting, flatulent blob unconscious, and without thinking (as I often don't) I dragged the helpless little chap inside. I guess that in my drunken stupor I must have thought it a would be a good idea to throw him into the wardrobe and lock the door, because around 4am I was awoken by the most terrible screams emanating from the bedroom. I unpeeled myself off the floor where I'd passed out, and with my hands over my ears I approached the wardrobe, which by now was practically shaking itself apart. Unsure whether to open the door or not, I sat at the foot of the bed and considered my predicament. Firstly I had a splitting headache and the screaming wasn't helping. Secondly, I liked my wardrobe, and the fat sack of pod snot inside was very likely to destroy it from the inside out. Thirdly, I wanted another drink, and there was no way I was going out and leaving Mr Mucous to slide around in my quarters, especially as I'd only just finished wallpapering and my ear collection was out for it's yearly airing. Stroking my moustache thoughtfully, I began pacing around the room, trying to think of a way to get out of this ridiculous predicament when suddenly I felt a sharp pain in my right index finger. Melvin had bitten me, and that could only mean one thing. He was hungry. Only once before had this ever happened, and for the life of me at the time I couldn't work out why he'd done it. Now I knew. He wanted Fedo meat; he wanted it bad! Several years ago, I'd gone on vacation to Ashab II (a huge undertaking for me as I never leave Romi) and happened to find myself in a rather posh Gallentean establishment serving Fedo in garlic butter. As I lifted the first spoonful to my mouth, Melvin practically ripped himself from his moorings and dived headlong into the bowl, rolling around in Fedo medallions with gay abandon. It was all rather embarrassing. Naturally as I was inebriated, I'd forgotten about how Melvin felt about Fedos. Melvin hadn't though, and as I tried desperately to soothe him he suddenly sprang forward, pushing between my fingers and throwing his full weight against the wardrobe, scratching it slightly; then slowly but surely, he inched his way across the face of the door and in through the vent at the top. There followed a few seconds of deathly silence, then the most blood curdling screams you could possibly imagine which seemed to last for hours upon hours, or perhaps I dreamt it. I'd passed out, again. I'm not entirely sure how long I slept, but by the time I awoke, the bedroom was silent. Rising from the bed I surveyed the scene. The wardrobe door lay wide open and inside was the shrivelled husk of a Fedo, simply skin and slime and nothing more, hanging pathetically from a coat hook. All my beautiful clothes were ruined, dripping with thick, pink goo. Instinctively my hand went up to my face, but Melvin wasn't there. I sat back down on the bed, put my head in my hands and began to cry. Melvin had gone. I'd probably been been sobbing for a few minutes when I noticed an itch developing on my ankle. Reaching down to scratch, I felt something small and fluffy and upon opening my eyes I saw it was Melvin, crawling up my leg, fat and bloated with Fedo meat and growling all the while. Not wanting to anger him further, I retracted my hand and watched with happy tears as he struggled past my knee, up my thigh and on to my stomach, pausing to take a breath every few inches. I could see he was exhausted but was hesitant to help as I couldn't be sure how he'd react. After several hours, the poor little guy had made it as far as my chin. With his breathing by now very laboured, he nestled into the crook of my chin and gave a barely audible sigh, then began purring contentedly. Melvin had found his new home. Melvin had evolved. Melvin was a beard. Father to a murdered son. Husband to a murdered wife. Truth be told, I've been pretty unlucky.
Moon Moon Burdy Lords.Of.Midnight The Devil's Warrior Alliance 211	Posted - 2016.02.05 00:37:13 - [503] - Quote For the love of all this is shiny and good in this life, you need to write more, Mortlake. That brought a tear to my eyes. Beautiful. Simply beautiful. Things that went boom Storytime with Moon Moon New stories semi frequently-ish! Promising Young Murderer, Education Appreciated.
Starrakatt Run and Gun Mercenary Corps FETID 358	Posted - 2016.02.05 17:39:00 - [504] - Quote I think, if I can remember it, as my cognitive capabilities aren't what they were only a couple years ago, that I will contract a Fedo for Melvin. It is obvious that Mortlake badly ignored Melvin's needs for a long time, or the mustache wouldn't have acted in such a way, nor in such a malevolently violent manner if the issue had been adressed earlier. Shame on you Mortlake, shame. Witness all, Mortlake's smugness and contentment at Melvin's new chin location, as if it was a good thing. The poor thing almost died getting up there, and what was it's master doing? Eh what? Nothing. He. Did. NOTHING. To help. What is a finger or two when witnessing such a plight? The sluggish, agonizing crawl was so absolutely heartbreaking that I almost rendered my luncheon all over my keyboard. Poor, poor Melvin, to have such a master. Put it back in it's rightful place I say, you pet torturer Morty. Shame, that is all I have to say. P.S Better you feed it the Fedo I'll send, or else... Sneaky bastard.
Mortlake Devils Rejects 666 1829	Posted - 2016.02.08 11:28:53 - [505] - Quote Starrakatt wrote: Misconceptions. You've got me all wrong. He's shampooed every day and I regularly moisturise my chin. He's well cared for. Thanks for the Fedo anyway, mang. Father to a murdered son. Husband to a murdered wife. Truth be told, I've been pretty unlucky.
Starrakatt Run and Gun Mercenary Corps FETID 360	Posted - 2016.02.08 13:43:34 - [506] - Quote Mortlake wrote: Starrakatt wrote: Misconceptions. You've got me all wrong. He's shampooed every day and I regularly moisturise my chin. He's well cared for. So say you. I will be watching. Quote: Thanks for the Fedo anyway, mang. You're welcome. Sneaky bastard.
Ralph King-Griffin Devils Rejects 666 The Devil's Warrior Alliance 14034	Posted - 2016.02.08 14:25:42 - [507] - Quote I can confirm mort does indeed bathe his "beard", visibly. It's , unsettling to say the least ... Think breast feeding in public , just with heavy petting and purring. Better the Devil you know. =]\|[=
Dilligafmofo Sandman Plc 375	Posted - 2016.02.08 16:24:40 - [508] - Quote Bitty ?
Omar Alharazaad Lords.Of.Midnight The Devil's Warrior Alliance 2757	Posted - 2016.02.19 17:47:58 - [509] - Quote Does the fact that I've never found Mortlake to be creepy at all make me by default creepy? Sometimes I wonder if perhaps my definition of normal is a bit skewed... Come hell or high water, this sick world will know I was here.
Starrakatt Run and Gun Mercenary Corps FETID 367	Posted - 2016.02.19 22:47:23 - [510] - Quote Omar Alharazaad wrote: Does the fact that I've never found Mortlake to be creepy at all make me by default creepy? Sometimes I wonder if perhaps my definition of normal is a bit skewed... It's not you, it's everyone else... Sneaky bastard.

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