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this kind of thing is probably serious

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Author	Thread Statistics \| Show CCP posts - 1 post(s)
Alex Grison Grison Interstellar 358	Posted - 2013.06.04 09:13:00 - [1] - Quote Hi, its me. I refused to be disconnected from eve. I am in jita. In my captains quarters. because I am a captain of a thing. The cloaked spider is back. There are spiders cloaked all over the walls. They cloak and uncloak from time to time. They are just crawling around. I hear construction noises echoing through the station. Something is happening Every time a spider uncloaks on the wall a 5 second laugh track plays. And then smoke comes under the door. This is frightening My ship hangar is filling up with biomass and there are laughing business men with TVs for their heads floating around on pool toys in the giant pool of biomass. The TV headed business men look at one of the other TV headed business men. and then flash static at them for a few seconds. Then they both start laughing hysterically. Sometimes the TV men float over to a corner and get depressed because none of the others will flash him. They eventually dive head first into the biomass and short circuit themselves. As I walk around the station I see a group of "blanks" blanks are clones that are waiting for a capsuleer to be flashed to them. they have translucent white skin. with membranes covering their eyes and mouth. Upon seeing me they immediately wished that they had more well formed facial features. they began breaking and ripping each other's faces in attempt to get distinguishable facial features to make them each unique. One of them saw its own bloody and broken face in a reflective bulkhead and was overcome with joy. it began running around at nearly a sprint. It kept this up until it eventually fell over a safety rail 30 feet to the deck below. When the others saw this happen they all stopped trying to change each other's faces, sat down and held each other while whimpering. They would not move or respond to anything. I returned to the captains quarters and I think this is serious
Saheed Cha'chris'ra Krautz WH Exploration and Production 60	Posted - 2013.06.04 09:17:00 - [2] - Quote Hi again. Get help man. Drugs are not a joke.
Dave Stark 3072	Posted - 2013.06.04 09:19:00 - [3] - Quote Hey alex, how's it going?
My Postman Royal Amarr Institute Amarr Empire 93	Posted - 2013.06.04 09:21:00 - [4] - Quote Would read again. +1 internetz for you, sir!
Major 'Revolver' Ocelot GRU Special Forces 116	Posted - 2013.06.04 09:22:00 - [5] - Quote That was the best thing I ever read. I love to reload during a battle!-áThere's nothing like the feeling of slamming a long silver missile into a well greased chamber...
THC Trader Caldari Provisions Caldari State 23	Posted - 2013.06.04 09:24:00 - [6] - Quote LSD is an interesting drug, that's for sure.
Alex Grison Grison Interstellar 361	Posted - 2013.06.04 09:28:00 - [7] - Quote Dave Stark wrote: Hey alex, how's it going? kind of serious probably.
baltec1 Bat Country 6799	Posted - 2013.06.04 09:30:00 - [8] - Quote I'll sell my shirt for a grilled cheese.
Dave Stark 3072	Posted - 2013.06.04 09:36:00 - [9] - Quote Alex Grison wrote: Dave Stark wrote: Hey alex, how's it going? kind of serious probably. oh dear. are the creatures behaving? baltec1 wrote: I'll sell my shirt for a grilled cheese. i'm making cheese on toast if you'd like some?
Acwron Meet The Fockers S2N Citizens 60	Posted - 2013.06.04 09:39:00 - [10] - Quote Grab your space balls and squeeze them until you pass out. Your space kids are not welcome in New Eden.
Dheeradj Nurgle Hoover Inc. Test Alliance Please Ignore 408	Posted - 2013.06.04 09:48:00 - [11] - Quote Can I get a hit of whatever you're injecting in your Bloodstream?
Ave Kathrina My Ass Is On Fire 50	Posted - 2013.06.04 09:50:00 - [12] - Quote Strong Synth Boosters' a hell of a drug. I'M RICK JAMES315 I've done some really stupid **** in this game.
Alex Grison Grison Interstellar 366	Posted - 2013.06.04 09:50:00 - [13] - Quote Acwron wrote: Grab your space balls and squeeze them until you pass out. Your space kids are not welcome in New Eden. Bad idea. I saw a spoidal boid pod floating around earlier. If you touch your genitals around them they will get really turned on and latch onto the nearest soft object. They will stay that way for an hour or so and then emit a horrible smell and then dissolve into an intelligent liquid that will flow around the floor and turn cement hard the instant you touch it. trapping you.
Ramona McCandless Standards and Practices Petition Blizzard 59	Posted - 2013.06.04 09:52:00 - [14] - Quote Alex Grison wrote: Hi, its me. I refused to be disconnected from eve. I am in jita. In my captains quarters. because I am a captain of a thing. The cloaked spider is back. There are spiders cloaked all over the walls. They cloak and uncloak from time to time. They are just crawling around. I hear construction noises echoing through the station. Something is happening Every time a spider uncloaks on the wall a 5 second laugh track plays. And then smoke comes under the door. This is frightening My ship hangar is filling up with biomass and there are laughing business men with TVs for their heads floating around on pool toys in the giant pool of biomass. The TV headed business men look at one of the other TV headed business men. and then flash static at them for a few seconds. Then they both start laughing hysterically. Sometimes the TV men float over to a corner and get depressed because none of the others will flash him. They eventually dive head first into the biomass and short circuit themselves. As I walk around the station I see a group of "blanks" blanks are clones that are waiting for a capsuleer to be flashed to them. they have translucent white skin. with membranes covering their eyes and mouth. Upon seeing me they immediately wished that they had more well formed facial features. they began breaking and ripping each other's faces in attempt to get distinguishable facial features to make them each unique. One of them saw its own bloody and broken face in a reflective bulkhead and was overcome with joy. it began running around at nearly a sprint. It kept this up until it eventually fell over a safety rail 30 feet to the deck below. When the others saw this happen they all stopped trying to change each other's faces, sat down and held each other while whimpering. They would not move or respond to anything. I returned to the captains quarters and I think this is serious You are the most beautiful human being I have met. Your soul is pure and full of the undiluted seminal fluid of the pure artiste. Do you dream of sleep and of the apemen with metal parts? Can I bear your children? "You designed these rules to trick me and it's not fair! I don't have anything left and might as well quit now..."-á-á-Authorized Pixel Distributor Tell The Others
Alex Grison Grison Interstellar 366	Posted - 2013.06.04 09:54:00 - [15] - Quote Ramona McCandless wrote: Alex Grison wrote: Hi, its me. I refused to be disconnected from eve. I am in jita. In my captains quarters. because I am a captain of a thing. The cloaked spider is back. There are spiders cloaked all over the walls. They cloak and uncloak from time to time. They are just crawling around. I hear construction noises echoing through the station. Something is happening Every time a spider uncloaks on the wall a 5 second laugh track plays. And then smoke comes under the door. This is frightening My ship hangar is filling up with biomass and there are laughing business men with TVs for their heads floating around on pool toys in the giant pool of biomass. The TV headed business men look at one of the other TV headed business men. and then flash static at them for a few seconds. Then they both start laughing hysterically. Sometimes the TV men float over to a corner and get depressed because none of the others will flash him. They eventually dive head first into the biomass and short circuit themselves. As I walk around the station I see a group of "blanks" blanks are clones that are waiting for a capsuleer to be flashed to them. they have translucent white skin. with membranes covering their eyes and mouth. Upon seeing me they immediately wished that they had more well formed facial features. they began breaking and ripping each other's faces in attempt to get distinguishable facial features to make them each unique. One of them saw its own bloody and broken face in a reflective bulkhead and was overcome with joy. it began running around at nearly a sprint. It kept this up until it eventually fell over a safety rail 30 feet to the deck below. When the others saw this happen they all stopped trying to change each other's faces, sat down and held each other while whimpering. They would not move or respond to anything. I returned to the captains quarters and I think this is serious You are the most beautiful human being I have met. Your soul is pure and full of the undiluted seminal fluid of the pure artiste. Do you dream of sleep and of the apemen with metal parts? Can I bear your children? don't talk like that around here, you are going to get the boid pods all riled up.
Ramona McCandless Standards and Practices Petition Blizzard 60	Posted - 2013.06.04 09:58:00 - [16] - Quote Alex Grison wrote: don't talk like that around here, you are going to get the boid pods all riled up. I understand. Perhaps then... we could collaborate on... an installation of new work? "You designed these rules to trick me and it's not fair! I don't have anything left and might as well quit now..."-á-á-Authorized Pixel Distributor Tell The Others
Alex Grison Grison Interstellar 366	Posted - 2013.06.04 10:01:00 - [17] - Quote Ramona McCandless wrote: Alex Grison wrote: don't talk like that around here, you are going to get the boid pods all riled up. I understand. Perhaps then... we could collaborate on... an installation of new work? My last instillation of work was trying to convince the TV man to let me back into the captains quarters.
Ramona McCandless Standards and Practices Petition Blizzard 60	Posted - 2013.06.04 10:03:00 - [18] - Quote Alex Grison wrote: Ramona McCandless wrote: Alex Grison wrote: don't talk like that around here, you are going to get the boid pods all riled up. I understand. Perhaps then... we could collaborate on... an installation of new work? My last instillation of work was trying to convince the TV man to let me back into the captains quarters. Well just send me a hair then. I can do the rest. What's your genetic line's pain threshold? Just curious. "You designed these rules to trick me and it's not fair! I don't have anything left and might as well quit now..."-á-á-Authorized Pixel Distributor Tell The Others
Alex Grison Grison Interstellar 366	Posted - 2013.06.04 10:12:00 - [19] - Quote Ramona McCandless wrote: Alex Grison wrote: Ramona McCandless wrote: Alex Grison wrote: don't talk like that around here, you are going to get the boid pods all riled up. I understand. Perhaps then... we could collaborate on... an installation of new work? My last instillation of work was trying to convince the TV man to let me back into the captains quarters. Well just send me a hair then. I can do the rest. What's your genetic line's pain threshold? Just curious. Pain threshold is 3 quarter turns past the valemolian mangus ratio
Ramona McCandless Standards and Practices Petition Blizzard 60	Posted - 2013.06.04 10:19:00 - [20] - Quote Alex Grison wrote: Pain threshold is 3 quarter turns past the valemolian mangus ratio Oh that's more than sufficient for the requirements. To be honest, it usually works best with a fairly low one, but these days we cant be picky about our canvases, so many unsuitable ones around. If you could pop the hair in a plain brown envelope and mark it "Care of Mr Cutter" and leave it outside your door, if you can, then I will receive it in time. "You designed these rules to trick me and it's not fair! I don't have anything left and might as well quit now..."-á-á-Authorized Pixel Distributor Tell The Others
Alex Grison Grison Interstellar 366	Posted - 2013.06.04 10:24:00 - [21] - Quote Ramona McCandless wrote: Alex Grison wrote: Pain threshold is 3 quarter turns past the valemolian mangus ratio Oh that's more than sufficient for the requirements. To be honest, it usually works best with a fairly low one, but these days we cant be picky about our canvases, so many unsuitable ones around. If you could pop the hair in a plain brown envelope and mark it "Care of Mr Cutter" and leave it outside your door, if you can, then I will receive it in time. Instructions not clear enough. Now cuddling with a TV man
Ramona McCandless Standards and Practices Petition Blizzard 60	Posted - 2013.06.04 10:27:00 - [22] - Quote Alex Grison wrote: Ramona McCandless wrote: Alex Grison wrote: Pain threshold is 3 quarter turns past the valemolian mangus ratio Oh that's more than sufficient for the requirements. To be honest, it usually works best with a fairly low one, but these days we cant be picky about our canvases, so many unsuitable ones around. If you could pop the hair in a plain brown envelope and mark it "Care of Mr Cutter" and leave it outside your door, if you can, then I will receive it in time. Instructions not clear enough. Now cuddling with a TV man Put the hair in the pocket of his second jacket. "You designed these rules to trick me and it's not fair! I don't have anything left and might as well quit now..."-á-á-Authorized Pixel Distributor Tell The Others
Alex Grison Grison Interstellar 366	Posted - 2013.06.04 10:33:00 - [23] - Quote Ramona McCandless wrote: Alex Grison wrote: Ramona McCandless wrote: Alex Grison wrote: Pain threshold is 3 quarter turns past the valemolian mangus ratio Oh that's more than sufficient for the requirements. To be honest, it usually works best with a fairly low one, but these days we cant be picky about our canvases, so many unsuitable ones around. If you could pop the hair in a plain brown envelope and mark it "Care of Mr Cutter" and leave it outside your door, if you can, then I will receive it in time. Instructions not clear enough. Now cuddling with a TV man Put the hair in the pocket of his second jacket. Task completed. I dont see where this is leading
Sentry 10 Aliastra Gallente Federation 19	Posted - 2013.06.04 10:34:00 - [24] - Quote You guys are ******* weird.
Dave Stark 3072	Posted - 2013.06.04 10:37:00 - [25] - Quote Sentry 10 wrote: You guys are ******* weird. join this channel and you can see alex's weirdness on display every day.
Alex Grison Grison Interstellar 366	Posted - 2013.06.04 10:38:00 - [26] - Quote Sentry 10 wrote: You guys are ******* weird. would you like a blood sample?
Jexis Ghan Red Ochre Mining and Exploration Fatal Ascension 4	Posted - 2013.06.04 10:45:00 - [27] - Quote BEST POST EVER
Alex Grison Grison Interstellar 367	Posted - 2013.06.04 11:02:00 - [28] - Quote Jexis Ghan wrote: BEST POST EVER Post Recieved
Capt Tenguru10 Nintendo Power Against ALL Authorities 241	Posted - 2013.06.04 11:44:00 - [29] - Quote yet another pointless thread http://i.imgur.com/EYX5Zi7.gif
Shawnm339 Apex Overplayed Coalition Nulli Legio 84	Posted - 2013.06.04 11:49:00 - [30] - Quote As a fan of not only Vic Reeves but also Monty Python I not only support but recommend this thread of awesomeness
Ramona McCandless Standards and Practices Petition Blizzard 65	Posted - 2013.06.04 11:51:00 - [31] - Quote Alex Grison wrote: Ramona McCandless wrote: Alex Grison wrote: Ramona McCandless wrote: Alex Grison wrote: Pain threshold is 3 quarter turns past the valemolian mangus ratio Oh that's more than sufficient for the requirements. To be honest, it usually works best with a fairly low one, but these days we cant be picky about our canvases, so many unsuitable ones around. If you could pop the hair in a plain brown envelope and mark it "Care of Mr Cutter" and leave it outside your door, if you can, then I will receive it in time. Instructions not clear enough. Now cuddling with a TV man Put the hair in the pocket of his second jacket. Task completed. I dont see where this is leading Thats ok It wouldnt be good for you to explain it now. I will tell/show you when the zygote has taken, and then again when it claws feebly at the gestation tank and says its first "words". "You designed these rules to trick me and it's not fair! I don't have anything left and might as well quit now..."-á-á-Authorized Pixel Distributor Tell The Others
Emrys Ap'Morgravaine Minmatar Ship Construction Services Ushra'Khan 58	Posted - 2013.06.04 12:02:00 - [32] - Quote Whilst I applaud your efforts at genetic replication, I am something of a believer in nurture over nature and I'm concerned you may be unable to replicate Alex's charming mental state through cloning alone - can you expand your plan? I wish to have more insanity on hand. Thanks in advance.
I Love Boobies All Hail Boobies 504	Posted - 2013.06.04 12:07:00 - [33] - Quote Dude, lay off the magic mushrooms. Or at least stay away from those ones. Had a similar experience with them once. Except the cloaking spiders were fuzzy rainbow caterpillars wearing star shaped rose colored glasses. Moral of the story... don't eat the magic mushrooms and listen to Elton John. removed inappropriate signature - CCP Eterne
Ramona McCandless Standards and Practices Petition Blizzard 66	Posted - 2013.06.04 12:10:00 - [34] - Quote Emrys Ap'Morgravaine wrote: Whilst I applaud your efforts at genetic replication, I am something of a believer in nurture over nature and I'm concerned you may be unable to replicate Alex's charming mental state through cloning alone - can you expand your plan? I wish to have more insanity on hand. Thanks in advance. Well to call it true replication would be both an exaggeration of my intent and inaccurate. I have been collecting genetic material from interesting individuals for a while now, on the off chance that some of their more interesting aspects are present at the genetic level. His interest in the blanks is fascinating, as I had a similar experience in Venal once. Silly Guristas, Trix is for Kids. I choose both wild humans (known as The General Public) as well as my own captive breeding programme to produce canvases upon which I can explore my artistic method. And yes, I do often use my own material too. Though its very derivative to do so and I only do that when I have no other art materials at hand. Working with the Blood Raider Covenant and freelancing for them has paid off, but unfortunately little information comes out of Delve these days and my last attempt to contact them directly ended in a rather sticky situation concerning a Gate, my ship and several TEST weapons discharging. (Three of my works were also destroyed in the process, two of which were still alive at the time). "You designed these rules to trick me and it's not fair! I don't have anything left and might as well quit now..."-á-á-Authorized Pixel Distributor Tell The Others
Mocam EVE University Ivy League 279	Posted - 2013.06.04 12:10:00 - [35] - Quote http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=grIaQ6iQB-M 'nough said.
ElQuirko Jester Syndicate S0UTHERN C0MF0RT 1403	Posted - 2013.06.04 12:19:00 - [36] - Quote What in the **** is going on? Save the Domi model! Spacewhales should be preserved.
Dave Stark 3073	Posted - 2013.06.04 12:26:00 - [37] - Quote ElQuirko wrote: What in the **** is going on? nobody knows, but that's part of the joy of it!
ElQuirko Jester Syndicate S0UTHERN C0MF0RT 1403	Posted - 2013.06.04 12:57:00 - [38] - Quote Dave Stark wrote: ElQuirko wrote: What in the **** is going on? nobody knows, but that's part of the joy of it! Where's the exit? Save the Domi model! Spacewhales should be preserved.
Ramona McCandless Standards and Practices Petition Blizzard 69	Posted - 2013.06.04 12:59:00 - [39] - Quote http://i4.ytimg.com/vi/oAFAXr9_up0/mqdefault.jpg "You designed these rules to trick me and it's not fair! I don't have anything left and might as well quit now..."-á-á-Authorized Pixel Distributor Tell The Others
killorbekilled TBE Initiated 228	Posted - 2013.06.04 13:00:00 - [40] - Quote Alex has traveled through the eve gate and returned like this :)
feihcsiM Deep Core Mining Inc. Caldari State 247	Posted - 2013.06.04 13:03:00 - [41] - Quote 98676 783 339 3 333 0987 99924028 THE KING COME DOWN It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine.

CCP Solomon C C P C C P Alliance 303	Posted - 2013.06.04 13:04:00 - [42] - Quote Thank you for sharing this! CCP Solomon \| Technical Producer \| EVE Online @RoryAbbott

Eli Green The Arrow Project 680	Posted - 2013.06.04 13:08:00 - [43] - Quote I don't even... wumbo
Gealbhan 246	Posted - 2013.06.04 13:21:00 - [44] - Quote Alex! Behind you!
Athelas Loraiel StarFleet Enterprises Red Alliance 6	Posted - 2013.06.04 13:31:00 - [45] - Quote the Art. Well, Mistress, is there a location one can revel in the Art you mention? I'm somewhat of an enthusiast myself. and I got some people interested in partaking in sightseeing. As to Alex, my dear chap; there's more where that came from - feel free to it. Second delivery today is your's. Regards, AL. F20 ideas collector.
Ramona McCandless Standards and Practices Petition Blizzard 70	Posted - 2013.06.04 13:36:00 - [46] - Quote Athelas Loraiel wrote: the Art. Well, Mistress, is there a location one can revel in the Art you mention? I'm somewhat of an enthusiast myself. and I got some people interested in partaking in sightseeing. As to Alex, my dear chap; there's more where that came from - feel free to it. Second delivery today is your's. Regards, AL. F20 ideas collector. Funny you should mention it, Im working on a new gallery space as we speak. Is all a bit hush hush at the moment, there are a lot of copy-cats out there, but I will let you know the instant its ready for the Grand "Opening". "You designed these rules to trick me and it's not fair! I don't have anything left and might as well quit now..."-á-á-Authorized Pixel Distributor Tell The Others
Pepper Solette University of Caille Gallente Federation 70	Posted - 2013.06.04 13:43:00 - [47] - Quote Ramona, i think you would get on really well with this guy. You should collaborate. My friend needs clothes
Ramona McCandless Standards and Practices Petition Blizzard 72	Posted - 2013.06.04 14:27:00 - [48] - Quote Pepper Solette wrote: Ramona, i think you would get on really well with this guy. You should collaborate. My friend needs clothes I very much like his style Thank you for bringing this to my attention, Pepper. "You designed these rules to trick me and it's not fair! I don't have anything left and might as well quit now..."-á-á-Authorized Pixel Distributor Tell The Others
Sergeant Acht Scultz School of Applied Knowledge Caldari State 778	Posted - 2013.06.04 14:39:00 - [49] - Quote OP, You are seriously in need of medical attention dude, this is a friendly and humble advice. Just do it and do it fast before this goes any further. removed inappropriate ASCII art signature - CCP Eterne
Zaxix Long Jump. 99	Posted - 2013.06.04 15:30:00 - [50] - Quote Someone's been watching Outland... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GBYOFmZu2Mo *Prodigal Frog*
Anyura Ministry of War Amarr Empire 103	Posted - 2013.06.04 15:36:00 - [51] - Quote CCP Solomon wrote: Thank you for sharing this! You should totally use this guy in your next ad campaign. Please forward to the appropriate department.
Anslo The Scope Gallente Federation 1687	Posted - 2013.06.04 15:50:00 - [52] - Quote wat -\_For the Proveldtariat_/-
Dersen Lowery Laurentson INC StructureDamage 525	Posted - 2013.06.04 15:55:00 - [53] - Quote CCP Solomon wrote: Thank you for sharing this! Now that we have your attention, I approve of any further effort to turn the CQ into an Absinthe-and-mushrooms phantasmagoria. I say further because some of the bugs I've been seeing recently represent promising steps in that direction. Proud founder and member of the Belligerent Desirables.
Malak Dawnfire The Scope Gallente Federation 175	Posted - 2013.06.04 21:22:00 - [54] - Quote baltec1 wrote: I'll sell my shirt for a grilled cheese. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8snXnnzbZCM
Urgg Boolean Center for Advanced Studies Gallente Federation 346	Posted - 2013.06.04 21:58:00 - [55] - Quote The opening post was very well built or a competely psychotic diatribe. Well done.
MisterNick The Sagan Clan Pax Romana Alliance 239	Posted - 2013.06.04 23:11:00 - [56] - Quote In addition to the spiders there's also that dead horse you're beating into mush. This was funny in the first thread. "Human beings make life so interesting. Do you know that in a universe so full of wonders, they have managed to invent boredom."
Zapa Cheenie Ab Initio Ad Astra 1	Posted - 2013.06.04 23:27:00 - [57] - Quote I'm frightened.... THEY'RE COMING TO GET ME, AND YOU! IT'S A CONSPIRACY, I SAY!
Cyrus Alabel Justified Chaos 9	Posted - 2013.06.04 23:48:00 - [58] - Quote Crash is one hell of a drug.

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