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Mallik Hendrake
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Posted - 2006.01.21 12:56:00 -
[31]
I think this is Sorja's, and I'm probably butchering it.
---------------------------
A Caldari man, a Gallente man and a hot minmatar chick are riding on an Interbus shuttle. Suddenly the lights go out, there's a loud kissing noise, followed by a 'smack!' The Gallente guy is rubbing his cheek in pain! Oh noes.
The Gallente man thinks: That caldari fella must have tried to kiss the girl, and she thought it was me and slapped me by mistake!
The Minmatar chick thinks: That Gallente guy must have tried to kiss the Caldari fellow and gotten slapped for it.
The Caldari guy thinks: This is great! Next time the lights go out, I'll make a kissing noise and slap that Gallente ****er again.
--------------------------------------------
"A plan is just a list of things that don't happen." -- Parker, _The Way of the Gun_
Mallik Hendrake
E X O D U S
[I do not speak for E X O or IRON] |
Luther Kincaid
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Posted - 2006.01.21 12:57:00 -
[32]
extract of an oldie, linky
A customer enters the eve shop.
Customer: 'Ello, I wish to register a complaint.
(The owner does not respond.)
C: 'Ello, Miss?
Owner: What do you mean "miss"?
C: I'm sorry, I have a cold. I wish to make a complaint!
O: We're closin' for lunch.
C: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this patch what I downloaded not half an hour ago from this very boutique.
O: Oh yes, the, uh, the red moon rising...What's,uh...What's wrong with it?
C: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. 'E's dead, that's what's wrong with it!
O: No, no, 'e's uh,...he's resting.
C: Look, matey, I know a dead patch when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.
-------------------------------------------
He's NOT the Jovian ambassador, He's a very Naughty boy! |
Zolofine
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Posted - 2006.01.21 14:08:00 -
[33]
 Originally by: Mallik Hendrake
I think this is Sorja's, and I'm probably butchering it.
---------------------------
A Caldari man, a Gallente man and a hot minmatar chick are riding on an Interbus shuttle. Suddenly the lights go out, there's a loud kissing noise, followed by a 'smack!' The Gallente guy is rubbing his cheek in pain! Oh noes.
The Gallente man thinks: That caldari fella must have tried to kiss the girl, and she thought it was me and slapped me by mistake!
The Minmatar chick thinks: That Gallente guy must have tried to kiss the Caldari fellow and gotten slapped for it.
The Caldari guy thinks: This is great! Next time the lights go out, I'll make a kissing noise and slap that Gallente ****er again.
LOLOLOL!! |
Sheriff Jones
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Posted - 2006.01.21 14:32:00 -
[34]
A noob corporation pilot makes it to the EVE gate...
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Kristanna
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Posted - 2006.01.21 15:23:00 -
[35]
Whoever wrote it it's good, made me laugh 
Originally by: Mallik Hendrake
I think this is Sorja's, and I'm probably butchering it.
---------------------------
A Caldari man, a Gallente man and a hot minmatar chick are riding on an Interbus shuttle. Suddenly the lights go out, there's a loud kissing noise, followed by a 'smack!' The Gallente guy is rubbing his cheek in pain! Oh noes.
The Gallente man thinks: That caldari fella must have tried to kiss the girl, and she thought it was me and slapped me by mistake!
The Minmatar chick thinks: That Gallente guy must have tried to kiss the Caldari fellow and gotten slapped for it.
The Caldari guy thinks: This is great! Next time the lights go out, I'll make a kissing noise and slap that Gallente ****er again.
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Fulmen
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Posted - 2006.01.21 16:27:00 -
[36]
A Minmatar boy, frustrated with all the rules he had to follow, asked his father, "Dad, how soon will I be good enough to kill the filthy Amarr?"
The father answered immediately, "I don't know son. No Minmatar has lived that long yet."
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Melkor Bloodaxe
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Posted - 2006.01.21 16:28:00 -
[37]
Originally by: Luther Kincaid
extract of an oldie, linky
A customer enters the eve shop.
Customer: 'Ello, I wish to register a complaint.
(The owner does not respond.)
C: 'Ello, Miss?
Owner: What do you mean "miss"?
C: I'm sorry, I have a cold. I wish to make a complaint!
O: We're closin' for lunch.
C: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this patch what I downloaded not half an hour ago from this very boutique.
O: Oh yes, the, uh, the red moon rising...What's,uh...What's wrong with it?
C: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. 'E's dead, that's what's wrong with it!
O: No, no, 'e's uh,...he's resting.
C: Look, matey, I know a dead patch when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.
lol
You've been watching too much Ponty Python in downtimes i suppose...
Pythons FTW!!!
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Fulmen
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Posted - 2006.01.21 16:43:00 -
[38]
Last one...I promise.
How do you save a Minmatar from drowning?
You take your foot off his head!
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Partisan Ograe
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Posted - 2006.01.21 16:51:00 -
[39]
Originally by: Fulmen
Last one...I promise.
How do you save a Minmatar from drowning?
You take your foot off his head!
 Amarr ftw!
But.. the funniest thing i've ever read in these forums went something like...
"Chuck Norris doesn't need a smaller foot to roundhouse kick a kid why should I need a smaller missle to blow up a frigate?"
It was right after the nerf and really got me laughing.
** So, I like mining, whats the big deal? ** |
My grandfather
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Posted - 2006.01.21 16:52:00 -
[40]
What do you do if your minnie comes out of the hangar and asks something?
Shorten the chain!
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Callipso
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Posted - 2006.01.21 17:12:00 -
[41]
Edited by: Callipso on 21/01/2006 17:12:42
A Prophecy stumbles onto the first Thanksgiving dinner.
"Oh ****."
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Oventoasted
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Posted - 2006.01.21 19:21:00 -
[42]
Originally by: Mallik Hendrake
I think this is Sorja's, and I'm probably butchering it.
---------------------------
A Caldari man, a Gallente man and a hot minmatar chick are riding on an Interbus shuttle. Suddenly the lights go out, there's a loud kissing noise, followed by a 'smack!' The Gallente guy is rubbing his cheek in pain! Oh noes.
The Gallente man thinks: That caldari fella must have tried to kiss the girl, and she thought it was me and slapped me by mistake!
The Minmatar chick thinks: That Gallente guy must have tried to kiss the Caldari fellow and gotten slapped for it.
The Caldari guy thinks: This is great! Next time the lights go out, I'll make a kissing noise and slap that Gallente ****er again.
best joke so far.
- - -
MMM MMM toasted
Phoon powa!
___
/---\-- * * * *
\__/ ***>-> |
Bagdh Dearg
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Posted - 2006.01.21 19:55:00 -
[43]
Ok Im stealing this from an old thread and cant remember who came up with it:
Q:How many Amarrian Priests does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A:One,He simply holds it up and the universe revolves around him.
_______________________________________________
An tT nach bhfuil lßidir nf folßir d= bheith glic
-He who is not strong must be crafty |
Rodj Blake
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Posted - 2006.01.21 22:55:00 -
[44]
Edited by: Rodj Blake on 21/01/2006 22:57:12
A Rifter walks (flies?) into a bar.
And falls to pieces from the shock of the impact.
Dolce et decorum est pro imperator mori |
Prester Joe
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Posted - 2006.01.21 23:02:00 -
[45]
A Gallente walks into a bar with a Slaver Hound on a leash. The bartender asks "where'd you get that ugly mutt"? The Slaver Hound answers "in Gallente space, there's millions of 'em"!
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Nooey
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Posted - 2006.01.21 23:06:00 -
[46]
That Sorja joke is hilarious.
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Kitty O'Shay
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Posted - 2006.01.21 23:18:00 -
[47]
What do you get when you gather 24 Amarrian women?
A full set of teeth!
--
Beware the Intaki Redhead of Doom! Meow!
I'm looking for a good corp, check my bio. |
Eisheth Zenunim
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Posted - 2006.01.21 23:44:00 -
[48]
Originally by: Callipso
Edited by: Callipso on 21/01/2006 17:12:42
A Prophecy stumbles onto the first Thanksgiving dinner.
"Oh ****."
Quality! 
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Hellraiza666
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Posted - 2006.01.22 15:20:00 -
[49]
--------------------------------------------
In War There Are No Runners Up...
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Jon Xylur
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Posted - 2006.01.22 15:50:00 -
[50]
How many Raven pilots it takes to srew in a lightbulb?
1.He grabs the bulb and expects the world revolve around him.
How many alliance members it takes to screw in a lightbulb?
251. 1 screws in the lightbulb, 50 protect him and 200 camp the gates and shoot anybody who enters the system.
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Kharakan
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Posted - 2006.01.22 15:58:00 -
[51]
Originally by: Prester Joe
A Gallente walks into a bar with a Slaver Hound on a leash. The bartender asks "where'd you get that ugly mutt"? The Slaver Hound answers "in Gallente space, there's millions of 'em"!
Originally by: ParMizaN
evry1ghasb a limiy...
...and ijust reached it ahaha...
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High Sierra
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Posted - 2006.01.22 16:41:00 -
[52]
A concorde officer is walking along the street when he sees two Amarr in the gutter, drunk.
One is lying face down in the gutter with his trousers down and the other appears to be trying to blow up his backside.
Disgusted, the Officer runs over and grabs the Amarr by the collar
'What the hell do you think you are doing?' He demands angrily.
'I'm giving my mate the kiss of life osslifer!' The Amarr slurs
'The kiss of life? you're supposed to blow into his mouth you fool!'
The drunk Amarr raises a finger and wags it. 'I know that ossifer but have you smelt his breath?'
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Oventoasted
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Posted - 2006.01.22 16:55:00 -
[53]
Edited by: Oventoasted on 22/01/2006 16:55:06
Originally by: High Sierra
A concorde officer is walking along the street when he sees two Amarr in the gutter, drunk.
One is lying face down in the gutter with his trousers down and the other appears to be trying to blow up his backside.
Disgusted, the Officer runs over and grabs the Amarr by the collar
'What the hell do you think you are doing?' He demands angrily.
'I'm giving my mate the kiss of life osslifer!' The Amarr slurs
'The kiss of life? you're supposed to blow into his mouth you fool!'
The drunk Amarr raises a finger and wags it. 'I know that ossifer but have you smelt his breath?'
awww
*tries to burn image out of head*
- - -
MMM MMM toasted
Phoon powa!
___
/---\-- * * * *
\__/ ***>-> |
Lu Yan
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Posted - 2006.01.22 17:32:00 -
[54]
An Iteron MkV flies into a bar.
Both are put to death.
None of that in Amarr Territory!
Wait, it get worse!
An Amarr, an Intaki, and a Caldari are in a bar.
The Amarr is wasted on "holy water"
The Intaki is trashed on spirits
The Caldari is picking the Amarr's and the Intaki's Pockets. |
Lotte Torkilson
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Posted - 2006.01.23 08:37:00 -
[55]
How do you confuse a Brutor?
*Page Down*
*Page Up*
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Brastagi
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Posted - 2006.01.23 09:04:00 -
[56]
This one is a classic
-----------
Two Ammarian traders captured deep in Thukker Tribe territory. They are brought to the Thukker Tribe chief.
"You Ammarian scum has tresspassed our territory, now you must suffer the consequences. Choose either death or babaloaba!!"
The young trader feared for his life choose to live, "I.. I want to live... I'll.. take.. that babaloaba..." "Babaloaba it is then!" The young trader then raped using anal probes. Then they let him go.
Now it's the old trader's turn. He rather face death than suffer humiliation "I still have my dignity! I'll choose death!" He said in proud voice.
The Thukker chief raise his staff ," So death it is then! Death.... by BABALOABA!!!"
---------
Please reduce your signature radius to be below 24.000 bytes - Jacques'
Right, after I train my inty to lvl 5
~Mencari orang Indo~ |
Cypherous
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Posted - 2006.01.23 09:16:00 -
[57]
Originally by: Mallik Hendrake
I think this is Sorja's, and I'm probably butchering it.
---------------------------
A Caldari man, a Gallente man and a hot minmatar chick are riding on an Interbus shuttle. Suddenly the lights go out, there's a loud kissing noise, followed by a 'smack!' The Gallente guy is rubbing his cheek in pain! Oh noes.
The Gallente man thinks: That caldari fella must have tried to kiss the girl, and she thought it was me and slapped me by mistake!
The Minmatar chick thinks: That Gallente guy must have tried to kiss the Caldari fellow and gotten slapped for it.
The Caldari guy thinks: This is great! Next time the lights go out, I'll make a kissing noise and slap that Gallente ****er again.
That one made me laugh :)
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Ravenal
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Posted - 2006.01.23 10:04:00 -
[58]
how slavery began...
An amarr lady was shopping in the local mall, buying the usual... horsewhips, spiky bits and whipped cream. While browsing around the shop she notices a very drunk brutor scouting her out. Disgusted she hurries scooping in her mechandise and runs up to the register to pay.
Unfortunatelly the clerk has some problems pricing the horsewhip and the lady spots the brutor making his way towards them, swagging a bit...
When the brutor comes up to the register he leans over the amarr lady and sniffs her hair and speaks quite loudly... "Maaaaam, ssscuse me but i couldnt help butt n'tsing you 'uying alot of stfffff.... " he says, spitting a bit along the way.
"I alsssso couldnt help 'ut n'tsing you are a single wOMAN!"
...single??? the amarr lady thought... how could that vile drunken brute have noticed that. She glanced briefly at her hand jewelery and her merchandise trying to figure out what tipped him off but failed miserably and turned to the brutor, her curiosity overcoming her.
"pardon me sir, but how did you know that i was single?"
"TwAS easy mdam... i could spot that from a mile away... twas the simple fact that you mam are ..... *hic*... ugly".
--------------------------------------------------------
and so the slavery of the minmatar tribes began...
.
-Fate is what you make of it.
-Make your own fate using T2 items produced by The Fated
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Dumus
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Posted - 2006.01.23 11:25:00 -
[59]
....Ere mate I got that bird flu last week.
How do you know it was bird flu?
because I started wearing make up, talking b****** and I cant park the Thorax!
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MellaRinn
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Posted - 2006.01.23 12:33:00 -
[60]
Originally by: Kalinin
Jokes?...
Projectiles.
LOL  
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